by Lory Lilian
Elizabeth rose, began pacing the room and then stopped in front of the window. Recollections of the days she had spent at Netherfield the previous autumn were vivid, and once more, she frowned at the notion that she could have misapprehended him so profoundly. Now that she had the chance to know him better—to appreciate his character and enjoy his love—she suffered to think how easily she could have lost her chance of happiness forever. Now she was certain she never would have been able to love another man the way she loved him, to give herself completely and to be eager to share everything.
She did not notice Darcy’s return and startled, feeling his warm breath on her nape.
“Elizabeth, is everything well?”
“Yes…I was just thinking of you…”
“Any particular thoughts?” He encircled her with his arms, and she leaned back against him.
“I was thinking about last year. Do you remember the day we spent an entire half an hour in the library and you did not speak a word to me?”
“Of course I remember. I remember every moment I spent in your company, Elizabeth. And yes, that occasion is quite fresh in my memory—for I did nothing but stare at you.”
“You did? I was certain you purposely ignored me completely. Your only interest seemed to be your book.”
“Well, it appears I was quite proficient in deceiving you about the nature of my interest. Such a fool I have been…”
He held her tighter, and she entwined her hands with his; they remained that way for a long time, and she only murmured, “We have been a couple of fools…
“So,” she changed the topic, not allowing such emotions to change their disposition, “may I be of some help with all these letters? You looked quite overwhelmed.”
He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. “You are right; I am a little overwhelmed. I have many things unsolved from the past few months and others remained unsettled when I unexpectedly left Derbyshire a month ago.”
The tone of his voice was carefree, but instantly he felt her tensing in his embrace and silently condemned himself for his unfortunate statement. She turned to face him, and her hands slowly lifted to cup his face.
“I am sorry that I caused you so many problems…”
“Lizzy…I am sorry to have mentioned those events again. I would not have you apologising for the past ever again. You most promise me that—
“You called me Lizzy.” Her voice was soft as she looked at him with wide eyes.
Yes, I did…Lizzy,” he whispered again, and she leaned forward to steal her name gently from his mouth with her lips.
“William, I do have a question…and I would be grateful if you would tell me the truth.”
He nodded in agreement, and she continued, obviously embarrassed. “I have wondered about your involvement in the arrangement that ended with Lydia’s marriage. Mr. Wickham had many debts, I am certain. I also know he would not have married Lydia without compensation; he is no fool when it comes to his own benefit. But suddenly everything was solved: his financial situation improved miraculously, and he was offered a new assignment. Are you the one who paid for all this?”
He looked at her for a few moments, and the change in his countenance was obvious. Then he averted his eyes and answered briefly: “Yes.”
“Yes?” Her breathing stopped at the confirmation of her suspicions. “So you…you left your home and your friends to search for Lydia…then you had to convince him…to offer him money to marry her. Dear God, what a shame…”
“Elizabeth, look at me please.” She did not obey, so he lifted her pale, tearful face toward him.
“My love, you asked me a question, and my answer only pained you. That is precisely why I did not want you to be told about—
“It was not fair for you to bear so many expenses, so much distress, so much trouble…”
“No, it was not fair to have so much trouble because of Wickham, but that must not be your concern. I cannot blame your sister for what happened; she was but a silly, young girl ensnared by a scoundrel with nice manners. Unfortunately, she will have to pay for her imprudence as she must share her life with him.”
“I have been as silly as Lydia. I also let myself be fooled by Mr. Wickham. I gave him complete credit and believed everything he said. And by doing so, I have treated you unfairly and given you so much pain. I was a complete fool.” Her voice was barely audible, and her eyes would not meet his.
He cupped her cheeks with both his palms and forced her to meet his eyes.
“My love,” he smiled with an unexpectedly light voice while his thumbs caressed her, “indeed you have been a fool to believe him, and I was furious when I heard you defending him, so furious that I was tempted to kiss you until I left you breathless and unable to speak again. But then again, I wanted to kiss you breathless so many times that I am not sure it was because of Wickham.”
She mixed her tears with peals of laughter, and he gently kissed her eyes while he held her in his arms. “You, sir, are excellent at teasing me, and your sense of humour is quite exquisite,”
“Well, Miss Bennet, being so much in your and Mr. Bennet’s company, I have no other choice than to become proficient at teasing—or hide in a dark corner.”
She laughed and raised her head to him. “No need to hide, sir! Now I think I should leave you. I have disappeared for quite some time, and besides, you must take proper care of your business.”
Elizabeth rose from the sofa, and he followed her, holding her hand. She cast a quick glance toward the desk where an envelope, obviously from Lord Matlock, seemed to demand his attention.
“William, have you informed your other relatives of our engagement?”
“No, I have not—yet—since you did not tell me when you want to make it public. I shall, as soon as possible—and most likely, I should go to London to talk to my uncle and aunt personally. As for Lady Catherine—I would rather write her, as I am in no disposition to travel to Kent.”
She looked at him with much preoccupation. “You just said you have much unsolved business waiting. Would a trip to London be helpful? Perhaps sharing the news with Lord Matlock?”
“It would be very helpful, indeed, but not possible. I have no intention of going to London and being apart from you.” He kissed her fingers tenderly.
She frowned slightly as she squeezed his hand. “William, I would not want to be away from you a single moment either, but…if you do not take care of your business now, you will have to at some point, will you not? You are not the kind of gentleman to neglect his duty.”
“Yes, I suppose I will have to eventually; I will manage to handle it somehow.”
“I was thinking that I would rather be parted from you for a few days now than after we are married. I am so occupied with ball preparations that we barely have time to spend together these days, and you are not at all happy in the middle of all this turmoil. After we are married, things will—
He stared at her, eyes wide open. “Elizabeth, have you decided on the date for our wedding?”
“No, not decided yet. But I have watched you carefully these last days and have noticed how…little enjoyment you find in all the preparations and arrangements and my mother’s enthusiasm, so I was wondering…since my mother is preparing a wedding with so much care, why should we not take advantage of it? We could marry the same day as Jane and Mr. Bingley if you would not mind.
His face darkened instantly, and his displeasure was obvious; she turned pale and wished she could withdraw her words. “If that is not agreeable to you, we can choose any other date you wish.”
“Elizabeth, of course it is not agreeable to me!” he burst out. “Bingley’s wedding will be in two months’ time! When I suggested we should marry in three days, I was hoping you would suggest something around a month—in the worst case.”
Darcy’s reaction made Elizabeth laugh in complete relief; light-hearted, she impulsively rose on her toes and silenced him with a long kiss. Though her lips were daring
ly wanton in their ministrations, he did not seem eager to prolong their passionate moment. Quite determined, he looked at her soundly.
“I am being very serious! Less than an hour ago, I was thinking that poor Bingley had to wait two months to be married. You cannot do that to me!” He was truly upset, and Elizabeth could not withhold her peals of laughter.
“Sir, where is the calm, restrained, aloof gentleman I met last autumn—the one with a ‘superior mind’ who always kept himself ‘under good regulation’? Surely, you cannot expect to have a hasty wedding without being at the centre of a scandal! Besides, if we are to marry sooner, we should tell my mother today so she can begin the arrangements.” She raised her eyebrow at him in mocking challenge, and he cast her an annoyed look.
“I do not think it is fair of you to repeat my words in order to defeat my opposition, soon-to-be Mrs. Darcy. This is not the proper attitude I expect from my wife.”
“Indeed, sir? Then perhaps you should consider searching for another wife.”
“Or perhaps I should speak to your mother about your disrespectful attitude toward me.”
For Darcy it was a joy to see her “arguing” with him; for Elizabeth, it was heart melting to see that Darcy was willing to expose himself to her teasing.
“Or,” he continued, moving closer to her and lowering his head to whisper in her ear, “I could try to make you wish to be married as soon as possible.”
Though he did not even touch her, Elizabeth shivered, and a sudden lump in the throat made her answer difficult. She struggled to continue her previous reasoning. “So…that is why I was thinking you could go to London now to settle all your business…and to inform your family…and we could announce our engagement immediately after the ball. We could talk to Jane and Mr. Bingley earlier to ask their opinion about a double wedding and—
“Very well, Miss Bennet,” he said, his fingers pressing her mouth to stop her from speaking. “I shall not oppose your suggestion. We shall have a double wedding if your father and Bingley agree.”
“Thank you, sir,” she answered with maidenly blushes. From outside the library, the faint din of voices and steps could be heard, yet that did not prevent Darcy from kissing her once more—this time daringly and passionately, oblivious to the possible consequences of their imprudent behaviour.
It was no wonder that neither of them heard the door opening, or noticed Lady Cassandra and Georgiana entering the library.
“Well, Caroline Bingley is here in case you are interested,” her ladyship said.
Darcy and Elizabeth startled, quickly withdrawing their hands from each other. Elizabeth’s cheeks turned crimson, while Darcy could hardly hide his mortification at being caught in such a situation.
Recovering his composure, Darcy—not at all interested in Miss Bingley’s arrival—took the opportunity to share the latest news with the ladies: the presumptive date of their wedding and his departure to town for a few days.
“So, you two are trying to steal from Mrs. Bennet the pleasure of organising a second wedding now that she is becoming a true proficient,” laughed Lady Cassandra. “She will never forgive you; I hope you know that.”
They started planning the events of the next days; the more he talked about it, the more Darcy was grateful to Elizabeth for suggesting this trip to London. It was indeed the perfect time to have everything settled so he would be able to spend all the time before and after their wedding worrying about nothing except her delightful company. He planned to return the day before the ball, and asked Elizabeth’s opinion about that. To his surprise, she lost more of her spirit with each passing minute, and her countenance became troubled.
“Elizabeth, is something wrong?” he asked. She shook her head in a silent, unconvincing ‘no’. As she saw the others’ worried looks upon her, she forced a smile and answered with no little embarrassment. “It is nothing, really; I am behaving childishly. It is just…you will be gone for more than a week.” Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and kissed it, despite the presence of the others.
“Oh, come now, Miss Bennet,” Lady Cassandra intervened. “I promise we will use this time most efficiently! I have planned a surprise for the ball and cannot wait to share it with you!”
It was obvious she was attempting to raise their spirits, and Elizabeth took the opportunity to change the subject by asking more about the ball. Neither of them discussed Caroline Bingley’s return. It was their last concern.
***
Elizabeth talked to Jane, and Darcy to Bingley later that day—and the result was similar. The suggestion of sharing the same wedding day was pure bliss to Jane and a matter of deep pride for Charles Bingley whose affection toward his friend was matched only by his respect. However, it was more difficult for Bingley to understand why they would want to keep their engagement secret for the moment since Mr. Bennet had given his blessing.
The burden of such a secret was difficult for Bingley to bear, and that was fully proved that evening at Longbourn. All of them were invited for dinner. Countless meaningful glances exchanged between Jane and Bingley and his many stares at his future sister, Elizabeth, made both Lady Cassandra and Mr. Bennet smile at each other in mutual understanding of the torture poor Bingley was enduring.
Mr. Bennet received the news of the wedding date with complete approval; he could easily see the wisdom in having a double wedding instead of two separate ceremonies. However, he did not miss the opportunity to tease Darcy about Mrs. Bennet’s disappointment in not being allowed to plan another wedding.
The news of Mr. Darcy’s departure for London affected Mrs. Bennet very little as she was still not on friendly terms with “that aloof, silent gentleman.” In fact, she wondered many times how he could be brother to “that sweet girl” and a friend of the “spectacular Lady Cassandra.”
Dinner was not a pleasant affair for Elizabeth despite the fact that she was seated next to Darcy. She was furious with herself for suggesting he leave for London and, though she knew she was acting unreasonably, could not combat the chill that gripped her heart. She felt alone, lost and—for some unknown reason—frightened. She retired to a corner after dinner while the gentlemen were in the library and her mother and the other ladies were chatting joyfully.
Mr. Bingley returned, and Elizabeth looked eagerly for Darcy, yet he did not appear. Instead, Hill came to fetch her to the library where it was announced that her father was waiting for her. She headed for the library, fearing that something had happened, but instead of her father, she found Darcy alone.
He hurried to take her hands and raised them to his lips. “I have done the most shocking thing! I have asked your father to allow us a few moments alone!” he said with a mischievous smile.
“You did? And he accepted?”
“As you see…but only a few minutes,” he added, embracing her tightly. “My love, why are you so sad? Something has happened to you since we talked earlier today.”
“No, no, nothing happened; please believe me. I cannot explain what came over me. I have no real reason…it is just…” She met his worried gaze and felt his fingers caressing hers—a gentle and mostly unsuccessful attempt to comfort her. Suddenly, she realised how much her silly reactions distressed him and that it would not do to let him leave in such a disturbed state of mind. She smiled at him and encircled his waist, leaning her head against his chest.
“William, there is nothing wrong, trust me. I am only sad that I will not see you for so many days, but after all, a week is not such a long time. Please take care of your business and return when you finish it, and then I will not allow you to leave for a very long time.”
“If you want me to stay, I will. There is nothing so urgent that cannot wait.”
“No, no, there is no need for that! Besides,” she said, blushing at the impropriety of her words, “the more I become accustomed to your…closeness, the more I dread being away from you. So you had better go now before I cause the ruin of Pemberley.”
He almost car
ried her to the sofa and sat her down without freeing her from his embrace. His fingers moved along every inch of her face, and she closed her eyes to imprint his touch on her mind for the time he would be gone. Tenderly, his lips followed his fingers, placing countless light kisses along her beloved face; there was no passion, no eagerness in his kiss—only infinite love and care.
After some time, she lost all control and tearfully trapped his head in her hands. Her mouth captured his and she kissed him wildly until they both remained breathless. There also was no passion in her kiss—only infinite love and despair.
***
Charles Bingley was ready for bed after a difficult day. So he would be married the same day as his friend! What joy! And the ball—where on earth did all those names come from? Who were those people?
“Charles, thank God you finally returned! I need to speak to you immediately!” The appearance of his sister, Caroline, shocked him, and he desperately pulled the sheet around him.
“Caroline, for heaven’s sake, I am in my night clothes! What on earth are you doing here?”
“I need to speak to you immediately—right now—as there is a situation that requires your attention tomorrow morning! You must invite Lord Markham to Netherfield for the ball. I am sure he intends to propose to me very soon! And yes, I know it is not proper for you to invite him as you are not acquainted, but he said he would not mind! Can you imagine that? He said he would love a country ball, especially as his family is visiting a relative only twenty miles from here—I forget the name of the estate. So you will write him today and invite him. In fact, no—your writing is horrible—I will write him in your name, and you will only sign it. What do you say to that?”
He followed her tirade with a shocked expression, barely able to comprehend. He nodded stupidly and wondered briefly who Lord Markham was. Caroline’s suitor? A viscount? Can this be true or just another of Caroline’s fantasies? He soon came to understand that he would have no peace if he did not invite the man, and frankly, what would one more matter among so many.