by Melissa Marr
“Lily, the queen—”
“Doesn’t rule me,” Lily interrupted firmly. In a softer voice, she explained, “Abernathy Commandment #16: Know how far you’re willing to go for a belief. I am willing to go all the way for freedom.”
“I might like you after all.” Violet reached back and patted Lily’s knee. “You feel like chaos ready to erupt.”
For a moment, Lily looked back at her, and much as she had earlier with Creed, Lily decided to take the risk. She lowered her hand to her side, and called a tongue of fire from her palm. The instant she knew that Violet saw it, Lily closed her fist around it, extinguishing the flames before the driver noticed them. “I suspect that we might both be a little prone to eruptions.”
Violet laughed joyously. “Oh, I definitely like you, LilyDark.”
“Lilywhite,” Lily corrected.
For a moment, Violet simply smiled, and then she shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She glanced at the two boys, whose faces were practiced neutrality, and announced, “Things are definitely going to change with her around.”
twenty-two
ZEPHYR
Zephyr couldn’t deal with Creed, so he pretended not to even see the other boy. Instead he pulled Alkamy closer to him as he settled into the back of the car Violet had called for them. “Stay still for me.”
Alkamy didn’t argue, despite the question in her eyes when he pulled the necklace from his pocket. Her eyes widened. “Zeph?”
“Don’t take it off. Don’t lose it.” He fastened it around her throat and looked at her. “Is it . . . okay? Does it feel okay I mean?”
“It’s warm.” Her fingertips touched the stones, sliding across them lightly.
“I brought it back from my meeting.” He paused, debating how much to admit. “I made it.”
Creed’s gaze flickered their way briefly, but then he studiously stared out the window.
Once she saw the cuts on Zephyr’s palms, Alkamy took his hands in hers, holding them by the fingers. “Why didn’t you come to me? Or ask Vi to cauterize these in case of infections or—”
“I’m fine, Kam.” He pulled one hand free and used the other to hold her hand more securely in his. “It was only a little blood.”
Creed looked back at them, gaze falling from the necklace at Alkamy’s throat to Zephyr’s hands. After a moment, he asked, “Was that all of it?”
Zephyr nodded. “I don’t know if I should be relieved or wounded that she didn’t want it.”
“Oh.” Alkamy gently traced the cut in his hand and then touched her fingers to the necklace again.
“Relieved. You should be relieved. Letting anyone have your blood like that is a risk. The humans could prove what you are. There are fae who could track you. Either way, it’s scary shit.”
Zephyr put his arm back around Alkamy. “Not with everyone.” He watched Creed instead of looking at Alkamy. “I’d trust you with it. Even when we fight, I do trust you with my life.”
The far-too-familiar scowl that often graced Creed’s face vanished completely, and Zephyr wished he had the skill to keep his once-closest friend at peace.
Then, Creed’s expression changed to an arrogant grin. “Don’t want to wear your girly necklace. Best let Kam keep it. It matches her clothes anyhow.”
Alkamy made a rude gesture, but she was still smiling and continued to stroke the necklace with her fingertips.
This was what he’d missed more than anything, the feeling of closeness among them all. Creed’s anger and drunken binges had put them at odds so often the past year that he almost forgot what it used to be like. Until last year, Creed’s steady presence and sense of humor had anchored him. Zephyr wished it could be like that again.
He pushed the button to raise the privacy screen and then, in a low voice, said, “She ordered me to bring Lilywhite to her within a month.”
Alkamy took a shuddering breath.
“What? Start from the beginning,” Creed ordered.
So Zephyr did, filling them in on every detail he could recall from his trip to the Hidden Lands. This was what he needed, all of them working together, thinking together, functioning as a proper unit again.
The next several days were odd. Zephyr was pleased at how well Lilywhite integrated into the cell. Alkamy seemed to adore her, and Roan and Will were instantly at ease with her. If anything, Roan had to be stopped from monopolizing her as they talked about contracts and conflict negotiation. The problem, unfortunately, was that Zephyr couldn’t pretend not to see how Creed watched her. He’d never seen his friend so . . . love-struck. There was no way around it, no other way to explain it: Creed had feelings for Lilywhite.
He and Creed were getting along better than they had in years, but sometimes it took effort not to drag his longtime friend into a deserted classroom and punch him. It wasn’t that Zephyr didn’t understand Lilywhite’s appeal. She was obviously clever and pretty. In more than a few ways, she reminded him of Violet, and he felt a growing fondness for her. Admittedly, there was no insistent need to be near her, but that didn’t matter. Lilywhite was his partner, and Clara had all but said that if they both survived, they’d be wed.
Unions ordered by the queen were the sort of unions that were bound by fidelity charms. That meant that Creed’s infatuation with Lilywhite could end badly—for all of them.
This afternoon, Creed’s attitude seemed more grating than usual. He’d just opened the door to their suite and was already calling out, “Lily!”
He pulled her into a hug that made Zephyr clench his teeth. They’d known one another exactly as long as she’d know Zephyr, but with him, she was open. Maybe that was part of the problem. It wasn’t just Creed who was making things more complicated. Lilywhite was relaxed with him in a way that she wasn’t with Zephyr.
“Can you get Roan and Will to come out tonight?” Lily asked him, even though she’d been there for several minutes and hadn’t said a word of her plan to Zephyr. She leaned on Creed and added, “Alkamy says I could go without your hoodie or that awful hat of Will’s. She and Violet have a plan to make me up so—according to Vi—no one will be able to tell who I am even if they’ve seen one of the three pictures Daidí couldn’t suppress.”
Five, Zephyr corrected silently.
“You could come with,” Creed started.
Lilywhite glanced at Zephyr. “No. Just ask them to come here,” she said. “Kam and Vi were only a few minutes behind me.”
Zephyr said nothing. He wanted to tell her that there were five pictures of her. Two he’d had expunged the same day they’d been released. The only remaining copies were in his possession. He didn’t tell her that though; it made him seem . . . creepy instead of protective. He’d have done the same for any of the cell. He had done the same when a picture of Will dancing with another boy was snapped one night at what was supposed to be a paparazzi-free party. That time, he’d used fists rather than bribes. Will’s mother was very much a conservative. Will, obviously, would have no protection in the human world if she shared the secret of his heritage, and Zephyr suspected she would share it if it got her votes. It would be a tidy way to explain away his other orientations if she needed to do so. Zephyr wasn’t going to allow the crisis to reach that point. He’d beaten the photographer until Alkamy had stepped in.
“Anything for you,” Creed said mildly, before he nodded at Zephyr, and then was gone in as quick a moment as he’d arrived.
Once he’d left to go drag Will and Roan back to the suite with him, Zephyr watched Lilywhite. She’d sent Creed on a mission specifically so that he’d be out of the room. He knew it, and he suspected Creed did too.
“I thought we were going to be fight-free,” she started.
He closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself the strength he usually had. Zephyr opened his eyes and looked at her. “Endellion met with me in person, Lilywhite. She asked about you by name. You say that your mother wrote about the queen, about the war. Do you not realize yet that you are not
simply someone with a dash of fae blood? Even if you don’t want to believe me about your heritage, you have to accept that the queen of the joint throne doesn’t know just anyone’s name.”
Lilywhite sighed. “Fine. Tell me what she said.”
“She wants me to bring you to her.”
“I see.”
Zephyr stayed silent, waiting for something, anything, to tell him that she understood. He didn’t cross the room, didn’t go any nearer to her, but he couldn’t help adding, “For three years, I’ve protected them alone.”
“And if I don’t go to her, she’ll take it out on all of you, right?” Lilywhite’s voice was soft, but he’d have to be thoroughly daft not to hear the threads of anger and reluctance twining into her words.
“It’s not like you’re the only one in this position.” He paused, weighing the decision to tell her the truth. He’d not told anyone, not even Alkamy. Lilywhite had no loyalty to them, not now, possibly not ever. But she was the one selected to help guide and protect the cell. She was the last of the queen’s seven Black Diamonds.
“What I say goes no further.”
“Of course,” she said without hesitation.
“I understand better than any of them realize. I obey her, no matter what, because if I don’t she’ll kill all seven of us. We do as we’re told, as the queen demands, or we die. That’s what it means to lead the cell, Lilywhite: you do what you have to so they don’t die, and you never let them know because some of them are too stubborn to follow orders no matter the stakes.”
“There has to be another way.” She paced away from him, hand dropping to the pocket where he knew she carried one of her concealed knives. He had been trained; they all had. None of them touched a blade like it was a talisman. Only Lilywhite did that.
“You can’t fight her.” Zephyr followed Lilywhite until they reached the window overlooking a small copse of trees. If she were Alkamy or Violet, he’d know how to handle her. She was still a mystery to him. In a mild tone, he remarked, “I suspect you’re capable with the various weapons you wear.”
“I am my father’s daughter,” Lilywhite said softly, not looking back at him.
Zephyr shook his head, even though she couldn’t see him, and said, “You sound very much like the queen herself. She’s devoted to her family. She started this war for our people, Lilywhite. We were chosen, and whether we like it or not, that’s the reality we have to face.”
Lilywhite turned to look at him over her shoulder. “This is not my war. I won’t kill for her.”
“And I won’t risk the people I love because you want to prove a point. Our queen has ordered me to bring you to the Hidden Lands, so you can either cooperate, or I will find another way.” Zephyr hated that he had to admit these things, but she needed to understand how their world worked. “I’ll not let any of them die because Creed has a crush and you think you’re above the rest of us. She’ll kill him if she thinks he’s in the way of her plans. She’ll kill your father if you don’t comply. She’ll kill Alkamy if I step out of line. Maybe Roan, or Vi first, but if she thinks I need more motivation, she’ll slit Alkamy’s throat. . . . It’s her word that controls what blades are made wet.”
Outside the room, he could hear Creed laughing at something Violet had said. He couldn’t make out the words, but he knew the voices of those in the cell better than any others in this world or the other.
“If this proof of Creed’s turns up and I decide that you’re all telling me the truth—”
“Fae don’t lie.”
“I can lie. Creed can lie. I’m sure you can too.”
“We aren’t like that, Lilywhite. We keep our word, our vows. If humans did too, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
They stared at each other in silence. There were things that were impossible, even for them. In this world, they lived lives of indulgence. In the Hidden Lands, they were special in a different way. They were tools, weapons fashioned by the queen’s will. Weapons don’t summon queens. That wasn’t the way it worked.
“Do you understand?” he finally prompted.
“She’s a monster.”
“Maybe,” Zephyr admitted. “That doesn’t mean we can slay her like a storybook dragon . . . or even dream of it. The best we can do is protect those we love.”
“There has to be more—”
“No,” he interrupted firmly. “There isn’t. Let Creed down easily or be harsh. Either way, do it. Only then do we go to see the queen—or you risk all of our lives.”
“Fine. I’ll come to meet her, but it won’t change a thing between you and me and I won’t go until I meet Creed’s ‘proof.’” Lily walked to the door and pulled it open, a smile once more on her lips as if everything was fine. Zephyr wasn’t sure if anyone else heard the forced gaiety in her voice or if he noticed it because of what they had just discussed. Either way, he thought she sounded brittle as she told them, “Come on already, people! I want to go dancing.”
And they were all coming into the room in a breathtaking blur. These few souls were his family, the people for whom he’d do anything. He served the queen, but he did it for them above all else. Fortunately, Lilywhite cared about them enough that she’d agreed to go to the Hidden Lands without his having to resort to force. It was fair progress.
twenty-three
LILY
Things with Zephyr were less tense after that night. Lily still felt more comfortable with Roan, Will, and Alkamy, but they weren’t as painfully awkward as they had been before they talked. Violet was hard to resist, and they’d bonded over a collection of daggers that Violet had been forging by way of her own affinity to fire. She’d apparently started to do so as a child, and the earliest of her handmade blades was an ugly, crude thing. It was still impressive, and the tiny actress had started helping Lily practice with her own affinity to fire.
The issue, of course, was that as Lily thought about Zephyr’s explanations, she realized that she needed to create more distance from Creed. Her ability to meet the Queen of Blood and Rage was not the same as agreeing to obey her. It did, however, highlight the fact that the queen was perfectly at ease with violence as incentive. She’d already called Daidí and Erik and asked them to be extra alert. With Erik, she was vague. With Daidí, she told him that she’d met some students “like her” and felt nervous. It wasn’t a full truth, and he knew as much. It was the best she could do right now. She’d learned years ago that phone lines were never truly secure.
“Do you need to come home?” Daidí asked.
“Not right now.”
“Later?”
She paused. “Maybe. I’m not in danger, and there’s something . . . comforting about being around people like me.” She laughed lightly then, knowing her father would understand what she meant after more than ten years of having multi-layered meanings in their conversations. “There are constantly people watching when you’re like us though.”
“Ah, paparazzi problems,” he said.
“Some are worse than normal watchers,” she agreed, letting him know that it was the “not normal” watchers that were an issue. For years, that had been a code word for those who watched the fae and fae-blood.
“I didn’t think they came on campus.”
“You know how it is,” she admitted reluctantly, all but saying she’d been unable to stay on campus.
“Lilywhite!”
She sighed. “I know. I’m protected though.”
“Do you need Cerise?” he prompted, using their code word for weapons.
Lilywhite laughed and clarified what sort of weapons she wanted. “Like Hector would separate from Cerise!”
“Right,” he agreed, knowing that her emphasis on her father’s largest guard was a request for a bigger gun. She already had a small one with her, but she felt the need for something with more stopping power.
“Oh, and if he’s coming anyhow, could you send a few of my favorite pieces of jewelry too?”
At that, her father beca
me very quiet. He knew she’d taken a small purse gun and several blades with her already. All she could hear was the steady rhythm of his breathing for several moments, and then he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to come home and get them yourself?”
“Not right now, but I’ll tell you if it changes. Can you . . . can you talk to the Gavirias for me? I want Erik and his family to know that they matter to me.”
“Should I tell them everything, Lily?”
“No,” she all but whispered. “I’d rather that some things stay between us if possible, Daidí.” She took a big gulping breath for courage and asked, “Do you remember Mom being pregnant?”
“You’re my daughter, Lilywhite. No matter what else happens in this life, no matter what you ever hear . . . you are Lilywhite Abernathy.”
“I have questions that doesn’t answer,” she admitted.
“When I get back from the Gavirias, I’ll come see you and answer what I can.” He took a breath of his own, exhaled in a sigh, and told her, “I expected you’d have questions. I hoped that Creed . . . that he could help.”
“Don’t let Señor Gaviria hear that you’re matchmaking,” she teased.
Like the rest of their conversation, her father heard what she was really asking and said, “At some point—”
“But not right now,” she cut in firmly.
“Fine.” Daidí paused, and she could hear people in the background now. Then he ordered, “You’ll be careful.”
“I am Nicolas Abernathy’s daughter,” she promised. “You be careful too.”
“Always.”
“Get back to work,” she said in lieu of good-bye.
The week of their truce was almost up, and the closer that proof came, the more Lily worried. She had spent the past day and a half mostly alone in her room when possible.
She wasn’t hiding. She simply needed space. Abernathy Commandment #11: Know when to walk away from trouble. The problem was that she wasn’t sure this was trouble she could escape. Despite what she’d said to Zephyr and the assurances she’d given Daidí, Lily wasn’t ready to meet the Queen of Blood and Rage, not now, possibly not ever. Even if Lily hadn’t grown up reading and re-reading the tales her mother had written for her, seeing the news her whole life more than clarified exactly why Endellion was a living nightmare. Just in the past two weeks, the water supplies in ten mid-sized cities around the world had gone toxic. The media spin on the disaster ranged from environmental causes to governmental negligence. However, a few journalists, notably all independent media, suggested that this was yet another act of terrorism by either fae-blood sympathizers or by the fae themselves.