by Karen Deen
Nodding her head at me, she slowly lowers into her seat with a small smile on her face. I take the seat next to her on the end of the table, so we’re close together, but I’m looking at her.
“Thank you for making me dinner, Mia. I really appreciate it. The only person who’s ever made me dinner is someone I’ve paid to do it or in a restaurant. This is my first home-cooked meal prepared by a beautiful lady.” I cut off a piece of chicken and slide it into my mouth, letting out an appreciative moan at the tasty food. “This tastes so good. I think you underestimate your cooking, Mia.”
“Pfft, it’s just something plain and boring. Nothing like your chefs would cook for you.” She shakes her head and starts to eat.
“Ah yes, but their food always lacks one important ingredient.”
She looks at me, waiting for my answer. “What?” Her fork is halfway to her mouth with some beans on it.
“Affection.”
Smiling at her and continuing to eat, I know I’m stepping way past the line I was going to stay behind with Mia. Yet I can’t seem to stop.
The words are said before I can take them back.
The truth is never a lie
Chapter Seventeen
LEX
Getting through the small talk in between mouthfuls, dinner is now done, and after my suggestion, Mia has just gone to check on the kids while I clean up.
Trying to help, I insisted that she cooked, so it’s only fair I clean up. Not that there’s much mess for two people, but it’s Paige’s home and it should be respected at all times. Her letting Mia stay here, and putting up with me being here all the time too, shouldn’t be taken for granted.
As I place the last dish in the dishwasher and wipe the counter down, Mia walks back into the kitchen.
“Are they okay?” I ask her, wondering what the strange look on her face is for.
“Yes, both sound asleep.” I can see she’s hesitating over something.
“What is it?”
“Why are you so kind to my kids and worry about them all the time? Why do you care?” All the words come out in a rush.
“Okay, where did all that come from?”
“I just don’t understand. You aren’t their father, yet you have shown more interest in them in a week than he ever did. Jack hasn’t asked for anyone to read to him except me. Kayla doesn’t go to men for a cuddle as easily as she goes to you. And none of this seems to even faze you. Why?”
Standing still, I know this is a conversation we need to have but just not in the middle of the kitchen, but you can’t always pick the timing. “To me, it’s simple. They are adorable kids who I love spending time with. Plus, they’re a part of you. I’m not going to hide the fact I like you, and that there are some serious emotions happening between us. With that, I know the three of you are a package deal.” I’m not sure she was ready for that sort of answer, but too bad. “If you’ve learned anything in the last week, I hope it’s that blood relations don’t always mean family, it’s more about the connection on a deeper level sometimes. So, I might not be their father, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about them and want to protect them as best I can. Meeting you, Jack, and Kayla is making me feel freer than I’ve felt in a very long time. I won’t lie to you, Mia. Before now I haven’t had one thing to do with any kids besides Daisy occasionally. I’m totally winging this and hoping to god that I’m not doing anything to mess it up.”
“You are far from making any mistakes. I’ve never seen Jack gravitate to anyone the way he does to you. I don’t think you had a choice in him wanting to spend time with you. As you’ve seen he’s a whirlwind at times.”
“That’s what I love about him. He has so much character in him.”
“You’ve brought that out in him, Lex. He must feel safe with you because he has talked more and laughed louder since meeting you.” Pausing, she looks at me with such feeling behind her eyes. “Maybe I have too.”
Fuck. She does this to me so easily. In a few simple words, brings me to my knees.
But every time she lets a little something slip out, the panic starts to follow. Rescuing her from having to acknowledge her feelings and what she just said, I take control for her.
“Those words mean the world to me, Mia. Thank you. Now let’s grab the ice cream and head to the couch so we can sit and talk about any other questions you’ve got. Or don’t talk at all and you can punish me with your chick flick.” Giving her space, I turn, opening the freezer to retrieve the tubs.
“Lex.”
“Yeah,” I respond with my head still in the freezer and trying not to laugh at the note stuck on one tub from Mason: ‘Hope your balls freeze off.’
“I like you too.” He soft voice rolls over me, and the feeling that comes with it is one I can’t wait to explore further.
Before I have time to turn around, she’s gone, and I’m left standing in the kitchen with ice cream, thoughts of frozen balls, but a warm feeling in my heart. I’ll take that.
I take my time to get spoons, some serviettes, and of course the chocolate I couldn’t resist buying just to be a smartass. Walking into the living room, I find her sitting on the bigger couch getting herself comfortable. I could sit on one of the other ones, but I’m not. Sitting down next to her and placing everything on the table, Mia just looks at the chocolate and any awkwardness is gone, while she laughs.
“You’re such an idiot.” Her giggle lights up her face.
“Okay, show me this movie you love so much. I’m sure it’s just riveting,” I say, playfully mocking her now to keep the moment light.
“You wait. I’m going to convert you to love my movies. There is nothing like a good HEA.”
“What the hell is an HEA?” Man, I’m so not up with this girl talk.
“Seriously, you don’t know what HEA means? You know, as in Happily. Ever. After. You are such a boy!”
“Well, I hope so, because otherwise I’ve got some extra body parts that you may need to explain to me.” I pick up the first tub of ice cream, lift the lid, and pass it to her as the movie starts rolling.
“You did not just say that.” She rolls her eyes at me.
“Do I need to repeat it?”
“No.” She takes her first scoop while I dip my spoon into mine too.
“Prepare to be amazed, this ice cream will ruin you for all other flavors for the rest of your life.”
“That’s a big claim, mister. I’ll rate it after you have watched this. Now you sit back and enjoy the best movie ever.”
“I doubt it, but I’ve been proven wrong before. Not often, but it does happen occasionally.”
“Be prepared for today to be the day then.”
We both take our first mouthful, and I’m in heaven hearing her moan with enjoyment. Knew she was perfect for me, just like my cookies-and-cream ice cream.
I can’t voice it out loud, but this movie isn’t too bad. A little outdated being made thirty years ago, but it’s still pretty funny in parts. I can see why Mia loves it. It’s the ultimate fairytale for her and probably one she’s dreamt about many times. As the movie progresses, she’s now lying down on the couch curling into the pillows. Her feet curled up next to me. Her toes almost resting on my leg but not quite. I want to take them, put her feet in my lap and massage them, but I know I can’t.
The moment the ending happens, I look to her and there are tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Is this what HEAs do to you?” But she shakes her head a little at me. Up and down but then sideways too.
“Mia?”
“I always cry at happy endings.” She sniffles.
“But this isn’t just happy ending crying, is it?”
Then her head shake is more pronounced, side to side.
“Talk to me, baby. What is it?” I knew this was coming, and to be honest I’m surprised it wasn’t earlier in the night.
“I’m so fucking scared.” The words I hate hearing her say.
That’s it, I’m not waiting
any longer.
“Come to me. Let me hold you.” Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, in my head I’m almost begging her. Take the step, trust me to take care of you.
Slowly she sits up and then shuffles down the couch to me. My heart is racing for the way she’s fighting her own demons for me.
Placing my arm around her shoulder and the other under her knees, I lift her onto my lap. I don’t have to worry about how she feels about my touch as she snuggles her head into the crook of my neck and her hands wrap around my body.
Nothing has ever felt as good as having her in my arms. There are so many words I want to say, but instead we stay quiet, both just in the moment.
Her tears have stopped, but I’m not letting go of her until she makes me.
The silence is broken by her soft voice. “I’m scared of heading into my past, but I’m just as frightened of the future.”
“I understand the past, but why the future?” I need to see her eyes. They are the window to her soul. I lift her face up to see me.
“What if I let my walls down and then you hurt me. I won’t make it through it. I know I won’t. Everything I feel already is more than I ever felt for my husband. How can that be?”
“Because he never loved you. Not like the way you should be loved. He wasn’t the one for you.”
“Are you?”
My hand cups her cheek. “Totally,” I say immediately without any hesitation. “Mia…” My face lowers closer to hers. “Can I kiss you? It’s okay to say no.” My voice is no more than a whisper. “I will never hurt you, I promise…” is all I say before she tentatively kisses my lips.
The moment of finally tasting her will be etched in my memory forever. Letting her lead, the kiss is soft and gentle. Everything Mia is to me. I don’t want to rush this. Savoring every part of it. I can feel her body starting to respond to the heat of the kiss as she slowly starts to bring the intensity.
My head is screaming at me to keep it slow, but my body is deaf to my inner voice. My hand now sliding into her hair and pulling out the ponytail. I want her hair flowing and falling all over her shoulders. I need to stop and check she’s okay. Pulling back, my lips long to stay touching her.
“Lex?” A confused look is rising in her eyes.
“I won’t push you. Is this what you want, Mia? Please tell me it’s not just me.”
“I should say no, but I can’t. I want you, and I can’t turn off this feeling.”
“Then don’t.” Taking her lips again, now I’m trying to claim her. My mouth asks permission as it swipes across her lips, both my hands on her cheeks trying to show her how much I want her. “Oh Mia, what are you doing to me?” Breaking the kiss again, I rest our foreheads together.
“You’re my star, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, baby, your hope for a better life. Let me in and I’ll be that for you, for the rest of your days.”
“I’m still married.”
“I’ll wait,” I say, kissing her cheek. “You need me to take it slow, and I’m not going to fuck this up. I’ve waited a lifetime for you.” Kissing the opposite cheek now and then softly on the lips. Holding her for a few seconds before separating. “Lay with me. Just let me hold you, nothing more. Take away your fear.” Her head nods to tell me that’s what she wants. I know Mia struggles to talk when her emotions are running crazy.
Lowering my body onto the couch and bringing her with me, I pull us along a bit farther so we’re both stretched out. My back to the back of the couch so she feels she has an out at all times. Lying on our sides so Mia won’t feel threatened by my body above her. Settling her head on my arm and drawing her to me. We are front to front, and her legs are entwined in mine. I can feel her heart beating against my chest, and I’m sure she can feel mine.
“You are safe, Mia. Just how you feel now, I will always keep you safe.” My hand rubs up and down her back. I’m elated she is so calm, but part of me is scared that she’s holding everything inside. In such a short time, she has come such a long way, yet I’m worried that what I’m doing could be pushing her over the edge and sending her backwards.
“Please tell me to stop if you need to. I couldn’t bear knowing I hurt you.”
“You promised you wouldn’t.” She takes a big breath.
“I trust you, Lex, from that first night, I always have.”
And just like that, Mia makes me a mushy mess.
MIA
How am I able to lie here with Lex and not feel one second of panic? I should. From where I’ve come from, this should be freaking me out. Yet I just want to lie here forever and never leave his arms. His strength wrapped around me is something I’ve longed my whole life for. Someone to just hold me and care. To want me and to let me know through their simple touches that they will protect me. With his powerful hold on my body, my brain is telling me I should fear him. But how can you fear what your heart is longing for? This overwhelming tingling that is running through my body can’t be wrong.
Can it?
Am I dreaming?
Too much imagination of the perfect fairytales. Am I just desperate for Lex to be my Prince Charming?
The universe can’t be this cruel, to bring me the perfect man and not let me keep him.
Oh god, why can’t my brain just shut up. Give me tonight. Just let me take the calm he always brings me, so I can deal with tomorrow and the next few days. I just want to be Mia tonight.
“Mia, stop overthinking this. I can feel you tensing back up.” And there is his controlled voice again. Bringing me the peace I so desperately need.
“How do you always know?” I whisper.
“Because you’re the other part of me. I already know that. So, when you think it, I feel it.”
His lips kiss my forehead again. I think that is my favorite kiss ever. I feel so cherished.
“I feel you everywhere, Mia, but already you have captured my heart. It smiles when you smile and bleeds when you bleed. Nothing you do can change that. I tried so hard to stay away.”
I can’t help but giggle even in this intense moment. “How did that work for you?”
He looks down at us joined from the chest down. “Not real well, as you can see, but I’m blaming you. No man can resist your beauty for long. I mean, look at you. You are so sexy, baby.” I can see in his eyes he actually means it.
I feel sensations in places that haven’t been excited like this in a very long time, if ever.
“I’ve never been told I’m sexy. I don’t feel it, and I can’t see it.”
“Mia, you have to believe me when I tell you. No woman has ever affected me the way you do. Fuck, every time you walk into the room, I’m struggling not to wrap you in my arms and kiss the hell out of you.”
“You don’t need to be nice to me.” I don’t know how to cope with his words.
“Nice is the last thing I want to be to you, sweetheart. My body is screaming at me to strip us both bare and make you see how sexy I find you. Making you come so many times, so you’re in utter bliss by the time I sink deep inside you, claiming you as mine. I never want to own you, but god, I want you to be mine like I need to breathe. Fuck, I need to shut up before I scare you.” Pulling back from me slightly, his hand goes up and he runs it through his short spiky hair.
“You don’t scare me. Tell me more, please…I’ve never had this before.” I wish I could turn on my filter sometimes, but Lex holds the key. With him the words just come out. He gets to hear what I really want whether I’ve worked it out yet or not.
“Every time you open your mouth tonight you kill me, Mia. More, oh I want to do so much more to you. You have no idea the dreams I’ve been having since you arrived. The way you respond to me when I touch you. I’m not sure you can handle if I tell you my inner desire.”
His face shows the increase in the frustration his body is holding back.
“Tell me. I know I won’t cope with more than words, but I want to hear it all.” My boldness shocks both me and him.
&
nbsp; “You are in control here, just remember that.” His arm moves back around me and pulls me a little tighter. Already my body feels the tingles of being so close, but feeling his cock so hard and pressing against my stomach, and knowing he won’t force me to do anything, actually turns me on more than I realized was possible.
His head now leans down and the softness of his lips kisses ever so gently on my neck. The words vibrating on my body as he whispers, “When you are finally free and ready to be mine, I will worship you like my queen. Our days will be filled with laughter and happiness, but our nights are just for you and me. I can’t wait to lay you out on our bed and just admire your naked beauty. I know under these clothes, your soft pale skin will shiver at my touch.” The way his hand slides down over my back and smoothly caresses my ass has the heat in me rising.
I can’t hold it back, letting a soft moan escape my lips.
“Oh, how I long to hear you moan like that when I’m sliding my fingers through your wet pussy. I’m making you wet now, aren’t I, Mia.” This deep sex voice is new, but oh my god I want more.
“Yes,” I whisper unashamedly.
“Good girl. I never want you to hide from me. Tell me how you feel. Right now, what do you feel?”
“Tempted, so tempted.”
“Imagine when I can touch you. When my hands can take your breasts and make you feel the pleasure. My mouth sucking your rock-hard nipple into it and my tongue playing there. Sending that tingly feeling straight to your clitoris, making it start screaming to be touched.”
“Oh, Lex…” How can he play my body like this with just his words? It’s like I can feel his intimate touching through his voice.
“You want to come now, don’t you? Your body is begging to feel the euphoria I can give you. You’re burning with desire. While you’re lying there naked, now I would swipe my tongue slowly up your sex and taste every drop you’re giving me. Watching you raise your body off the bed because you can’t take the sensation. Holding your waist then sliding my finger deep inside you, now you’re screaming my name. Inside your head, scream my name, Mia. As my thumb pushes down on your clit and my second finger slides in and starts stroking that spot. Yeah, the one that has you riding my hand like you can’t stop. Trying to gain that final release you’re longing for.”