But with Fee, it was vital. Pleasurable. The way her lips moved with mine. The feel of her tongue stroking along my mouth, running along my teeth, and twisting around mine sent me reeling. Her taste was an aphrodisiac, and I couldn’t get enough of it. Of her.
Yanking my shirt over my head, I hoisted her to the back of the sofa, wrapping her legs around my waist, keeping her pinned tight to my chest. I ground against her, pulling up the back of her shirt and running my hands over her smooth skin, smiling against her mouth at the shivers I felt. She was so damn responsive. I broke away from her, tugging her sweater from her shoulders and lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it to the side. Her small, perfect breasts fit into my hands as if they were made for me. Her nipples were hard buds against the callused skin of my palms.
“No bra, baby?” I grinned. “How convenient.”
She lifted one shoulder. “I never wear one on the weekend. I don’t really need it.” She glanced down. “Scott wanted me to get a boob job, but—”
I silenced her with a finger pressed to her lips. “I never want to hear his name while we’re together like this. What he liked or wanted doesn’t matter anymore.”
“But this does?” she asked, her trembling voice showing her anxiety to my response.
I had to give her the truth. “Yeah, it does.”
How, I didn’t understand, but I knew that it did. For both of us.
I pulled her off the sofa, sliding her pants down her legs, once again caught in her beauty. She was perfectly proportioned. Delicate but curvy, with an indented waist and rounded hips. Her legs were slender with shapely calves. She had tiny feet, and her toenails were painted a bright pink. Her hair was up today, tendrils escaping around her face. Her lips were red and swollen from mine, the flush on her cheeks spreading to her chest. I lowered my head, tracing her collarbone with my mouth and teasing the nipples of her perky, perfect tits with my tongue and fingers. I lifted her, pushing her legs apart and kneeling in front of her. Her pussy glistened, her legs trembling as I pressed closer, sliding my tongue along her folds. She gripped my hair, her head falling back as she moaned. I grasped her knees, pushing them apart, then grabbed her ass and dragged her closer to my mouth. I ravished her. Licking. Biting. Sucking. Driving her to the edge then pulling back, ramping up her desire until she was crying out, her fingers buried in my hair, her legs wrapped around my head and her voice getting louder. She came, her honey flooding my mouth, her body shaking and tense.
My cock pressed against my zipper, desperate and aching. I needed her more than I could ever remember needing anything. Anyone.
I fumbled with my belt buckle, pushing my jeans down as I stood. In one frantic thrust, I was inside her, fucking her hard. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding tight as I took her. Frenzied. Grasping. Gripping her hips and slamming into her. She dug her nails into my back and I hissed at the flash of pain.
“More,” I demanded, flinging her leg over my arm and sinking deeper into her.
She cried out and clutched at my hair, gripping my bicep in order to hold on. Sweat poured down my back. Her nipples, hard little pebbles, rubbed against the coarse hair on my chest. I grunted and cursed, chasing the orgasm building within me. She whimpered, arching and meeting my thrusts, pleading and begging. She gasped when I pulled out, flipping and lifting her over the back of the sofa and sinking into her from behind, the angle deep and mind-blowing. She was hot, wet, and so tight around my cock, it was strangling me. I fucking loved it.
I wrapped an arm around her waist, anchoring her to me. I dropped my face to her neck, licking and biting her skin, whispering all the dirty thoughts I had into her ear.
“You are so fucking tight, Fee.”
“You like this angle, baby? You like me taking you like this?”
“I want you to come all over my cock, Fee. Drench me.”
I slid my hand under her and pressed on her clit. Her bud was as hard for me as my cock was for her. It was what she needed. She spasmed, her orgasm hitting her hard. She cried out, my name falling from her lips as her pussy clamped down on my cock.
Ecstasy hit like a tsunami, engulfing me—obliterating everything in its path. I came hard, gripping her fiercely, growling her name and riding out the intense sensations with my head resting on the nape of her neck, my mouth pressed to her skin, and my cock buried in her heat.
Moments passed before I could lift myself away from her. I pressed long kisses along the ridge of her spine, easing myself away. I ran my hands along her back, stroking the soft skin of her shoulders. “Okay, love?” I asked, helping her to straighten. She sighed, leaning back into me, and I wrapped my arm around her waist, feeling the aftermath of her shivers. I pulled the hair away from her face—at some point I had yanked out her hair clip—and pressed a kiss to her neck.
“Fee?” I asked, worried. I had lost myself with her, forgetting how small and delicate she was. “Are you okay?”
“Mm-hmm,” she murmured, leaning into me.
I chuckled. “Did I fuck all the words out of you?”
She giggled, her hand drifting up to cup my cheek. “I think so.” She turned, facing me. “I need to go get cleaned up. You made a mess.”
I began to chuckle, then froze as the reality of her words hit me.
I hadn’t used a condom. No wonder I had been in such a frenzy and she had felt so fucking good.
Without a word, I picked her up and rushed down the hall. In the shower, I turned the water as hot as I thought she could take and pushed her onto the shower bench. “Open up, Fee,” I commanded, grabbing the handheld unit and directing the water at her. “I need to get this out of you.”
I knew I was acting irrationally, but I couldn’t stop myself. “There’s a pill, right?” I demanded. “A pill you can take in case I got you pregnant?”
She gazed up at me, scared and confused.
“I forgot, Fee. I forgot a condom. I swear to you I’m clean, but I—”
She stilled my hand and shook her head. “I’m clean too, Halton. And I can’t get pregnant.”
“What?”
“We tried early on in our marriage. And again later. Nothing happened. Scott was tested, and the results showed he was fine. More than fine—his sperm were active and fertile. The tests concluded it was me. We never conceived. Another way I failed him.” Her voice shook. “It was best, considering how it has ended anyway.” She cleared her throat. “I can’t get pregnant, so you’re fine. We’re fine,” she assured me, her eyes luminous with tears. “I need you to calm down, please.”
I sank to my knees in front of her, cupping her face, the steam billowing around us. I recalled her saying they never had kids, but she never explained it further. For some reason, my heart broke at the sadness in her eyes.
“You would have been an incredible mother,” I murmured. “But you didn’t fail him, Fee. He failed you on so many levels.” I didn’t add I was glad she didn’t have any kids—not because of how I felt about them—but because I didn’t want her attached to him in any way.
“I guess, in the end, we failed each other.”
I shook my head in disbelief. No matter how much of an asshole he was, no matter how badly he had hurt her, she was unable not to include herself in the blame.
I pressed a kiss to her mouth. “I’m sorry, Fee. I overreacted.”
She stood, picking up the shower head from the floor. She ran it over my shoulders, the heat hitting the small scrapes left by her nails. I hissed at the sensation but somehow enjoyed it, knowing she marked me.
“Stand up, Halton. Let’s get clean. We can get dirty together again later.”
I stood and took the shower head from her. I caught her in my arms and kissed her. I kissed her for many reasons. For the incredible sex. For the way she soothed me. For not getting upset at my overreaction. For the pain she had suffered because of Scott, and for the bad memory I had brought to life because of my carelessness.
I kissed her because I wanted to.
Because she was Fee.
We finally ate the lunch we had dropped by the door, and the rest of the day was quiet. Fee was more withdrawn than I was used to, and I blamed myself and my reaction earlier. I had spoiled an incredibly epic sexual moment for us. Still, she smiled and responded when I spoke to her, laughed in amusement as I read her one of Rene’s funny texts about being held prisoner again, and asked me some more questions about Dads Seeking Justice.
“Do you ever help women—the mothers who are getting screwed over?”
“Yes. All the time.” I scrubbed my face. “I volunteer with the group because it seemed there were fewer lawyers wanting to help the fathers. I also volunteer at a group for women, but there are more lawyers willing to put forth the effort there. So I spend more time with the dads group. If I’m needed at the other, I go there or the women can come to me. All free, of course.”
She didn’t meet my eyes as she shook her head.
“What?”
She lifted her shoulders. “I think you’re remarkable. But if I say that, you’ll make some offhand remark to disagree with me, so I will keep my opinion to myself.”
I chuckled because she was right. Except…
“I like knowing you think highly of me, Fee. I admit I don’t think I deserve it, but I like it,” I confessed.
“You really believe you are an asshole.”
I remained silent.
“Scott is an asshole,” she stated. “He treats people terribly. You treat people, even the lawyers you go up against, with respect. Scott doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Fighting for your clients, living your life with no apologies, doesn’t mean you’re an asshole, Halton.”
I had no words to offer her. At times, her quiet observations astounded me.
She laid her cheek on her hand, studying me. “Why you think you’re such a terrible person, I don’t know. I think there is good in everyone.” She sighed quietly. “In fact, I’d go as far as to say, there is a little bit of perfection in everyone.”
I arched my eyebrow at her and tapped her foot with mine. “I think you’re being a little sentimental. I mean, everyone?” I asked pointedly. I knew I had no perfection within me, and I knew, without a doubt, her ex didn’t either.
She glanced out the window, wistful and pensive. “I like to think the man I fell in love with, the one who was still young enough to believe, and promised to love me forever, was real. That deep inside, he was good. That his aspirations to do good were his bit of perfection.”
“What do you think happened?”
“He grew up. He listened to the wrong people and he became the very thing he wanted to fight against. And somewhere along the way, he lost the goodness. And his love for me, I suppose.”
The words were out before I could stop them. “Then he lost everything.”
She tapped my foot and grinned. “Now who’s being sentimental?”
“Quiet. You tell anyone, I’ll deny it ever happened. I’m good at that, you know.”
She lifted her tablet, trying to hide her amusement. “Duly noted, counselor.”
Fee spent the rest of the afternoon on the sofa, reading, sipping tea, and at times, staring out the window. I worked on some notes, went through my schedule, and finally kicked back with a book and a glass of wine, enjoying her silent company. I couldn’t recall ever spending this much time with a woman before, simply being. It felt strange, yet I liked it.
I noticed her eyes drifting shut, and I rearranged myself on the sofa, patting my chest. “Got a spot for you, Fee.”
She slid next to me, burrowing close. She liked to be held as she slept. It was her trigger, the way the feel of her against me was mine. I tried to concentrate on my book but gave up and ran my hand through her hair in a repetitive motion, knowing the moment she was asleep. I set aside my book and studied her briefly, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, listening to her odd clicking-purring noises. Once again, they reminded me of something, but I couldn’t place it. I shut my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her, the mysteriously comforting sounds of her noises, and I slept.
After our nap, Fee made sandwiches, while I grabbed some cold beer and found the chips I had in the cupboard.
“There’s a Jurassic Park marathon on tonight,” I informed her.
“Um, yay?” she mumbled, adding another sandwich to the pile.
“We need more than those,” I informed her.
“How on earth do you consume the amount of food you do and still look like—” she indicated my form with a wave of her fingers “—that?”
I sidled up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and nipping her neck. “You like how I look, Fee?” I slid my hands under the loose shirt she wore, skimming my fingers along the supple skin of her stomach. She shivered, making me grin. I enjoyed her reactions. I tugged on her earlobe. “Do you?”
“Yes,” she whispered breathlessly.
“Good. The feeling is mutual. I think you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
She stilled. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t feed me lines. I prefer your honesty.”
Frowning, I spun her around and gripped her chin. “I am telling the truth, Fee. You are the whole package. Sweet, sexy, and smart. All of it. That’s exactly what I think. You want to challenge me on that?”
She pursed her lips in disbelief, and I shook my head. “Well, I have no choice but to prove it.” She gasped as I lifted her to the counter, pushing away the sandwiches she was making.
“What are you doing?”
I yanked down her yoga pants. “Proving my case.”
“Oh.” She inhaled hard as I dipped my fingers between her legs. “Oh.”
I pulled her toward the edge, pushing her legs open wider. I crouched in front of her. “I have quite the closing argument. You ready to hear it?”
“Oh God, yes.”
I kissed her thigh, tracing my tongue up her leg. “Hold tight, Fee. It’s a long one.”
“That’s it!” I yelled, grabbing the remote.
Fee looked at me, startled. “What’s it?”
I backed up the movie. “Listen.”
She frowned. “What am I listening to?”
“The odd clicking-purring noise thing the velociraptor is making. I knew I had heard it before.” I grinned at her. “It’s you.”
“Excuse me?”
“You make the funniest little noise when you sleep. You sound like a raptor. Muted and much less dangerous, of course, but that’s what you sound like.”
“They screech and tear people apart with their long claws!” she gasped.
I laughed. “They also make a funny clicking-purring noise at times. That’s the one I’m talking about.”
She made me play it again, and she giggled. “You know, my roommate at university told me I made odd noises.”
I nodded sagely. “You do. It’s quite amusing.”
Fee rolled her eyes and continued. “But she never compared me to a dinosaur—especially a scary one. I think you’re a little rude.”
“I’ll apologize, but it’s true. You sound exactly like that.”
“Hmph,” she replied, tilting her head as if offended.
I nudged her playfully. “I think you’re the cutest raptor I’ve ever seen, though.”
“Nice try.”
“I’ll give you the last brownie?” I asked, handing her the plate. She had whipped them up this afternoon, and they were awesome. I was hoping she would refuse, but she took it.
“Hardly a grand gesture, Halton. There are more in the kitchen.”
I rubbed my chin. “I’ll let you snuggle closer when more scary parts happen.” She had never seen the movies—something that shocked me and I was determined to change tonight.
“I want popcorn.”
I leaned over and kissed her. “Your wish is my command, FeeNellyRaptor.”
Her laughter made me grin all the way to the kitchen.
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It was late when the marathon was over. Fee stood, taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen and loading them in the dishwasher. I followed after shutting down the entertainment system.
She wiped her hands on the dish towel, then hesitated.
“Well, I guess I should, ah, go?”
“Go?”
“Home,” she clarified.
I shook my head. “Stay.” I inhaled and held out my hand. “Please.”
I led her to my room and let her get ready for bed, loaning her a T-shirt. She slid in beside me and I pulled her close, breathing in her scent.
I shut off the light, the darkness surrounding us. She nestled close, and I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. We were silent for a few moments, then I spoke.
“Fee…”
She tilted back her head, looking at me in the dark. “What is it?”
I had to tell her. “Earlier today, after the sofa, when I…”
“Freaked out?” she finished for me.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “My reaction—the way I feel—it isn’t about you, okay? I need you to understand that.”
“What is it about, Halton?”
I sighed, finding her hand in the dark and kissing her knuckles before resting our clasped palms on my chest.
“My mother had severe mental issues. My father drank himself to death at an early age. I’m an emotional vacuum, Fee. There’s nothing there. I don’t want to pass that sort of DNA along to some innocent child.”
She was silent, only the press of her hand in mine and her sigh letting me know she was listening.
“I have nothing to offer anyone aside from material things, Fee. And to be honest, I’m too selfish to want to share those. I had to work hard to get them, and I have no desire to lose any of them to someone who would walk away.”
“You think so little of yourself, you don’t think anyone would love you enough to stay, Halton.”
Her words were a statement, not a question.
“I know myself—that’s all.”
Halton: Vested Interest #6 Page 14