The difference, however, was that Stella was a Christian, while Robert was not. That was the first time Awsty noticed how different love stories were. Stella’s were filled with hope that she would be seeing her husband again, while Robert’s often seemed hopeless. Granted, he was struggling with Alzheimer’s, but in those fleeting moments of lucidity, he cried and told Awsty that the thought that he’d never, ever see his wife again were almost more than he could bare. Sometimes he wished he’d just die and get it over with.
Stella’s and Robert’s weren’t the only love stories heard. Awsty had met new folks at the assisted living home. Sometimes they would invite her to their rooms, and sometimes they’d just sit and visit in the parlor. Some were really easy to talk with, others… not so much. But, if she needed an icebreaker, asking about their husband or wife always did the trick.
The one lesson she was learning through their stories was that if the home was Christ-centered, there was joy and hope. Whereas, if one or neither of them knew Jesus, there existed sadness, sorrow, regret, and often little to no hope. Could it really be that cut and dried? She’d pretty much always believed in God, but this whole ‘knowing Jesus personally’ thing was the nagging question. She believed Jesus lived, and that he died on a cross. What she hadn’t really considered was why he did it, and what impact that should have on her own life.
On one visit, Stella told a particular story, a funny one, at the end of which she asked Awsty a question that she couldn’t answer.
Apparently, the daughters of Stella, Pastor Greg’s aunt and his mother, were going to spend the day with Stella and her husband, Kenneth. Kenneth loved those girls and wanted the day to be nice for them. When he asked Stella what he could do to help, she told him about the lunch menu she had planned. Among the menu items, she had decided to serve tuna sandwiches. Always serving freshly-made tuna salad sandwiches, it wasn’t until the daughters had arrived that Stella realized she didn’t have the needed cans of tuna. She asked Kenneth if he would mind going to the store and picking up two cans of their best tuna. He said he’d be glad to do that for her. So, off he went, returning home with the requested items.
Upon opening the cans to make the tuna salad, Stella thought the odor was rather pungent, much more so than usual. However, she blended all the ingredients together and made the sandwiches, placing one on each of their plates before taking them to the dining room.
It wasn’t until they all sat down at the table and Kenneth had thanked the Lord for the food and fellowship, that Leana, the oldest daughter and Greg’s mother, asked her mom if she’d changed canned tuna brands. Leana and Jeannie, the younger daughter, kept stealing side glances at each other and curling up their noses.
When Stella remembered that she hadn’t served the relish plate yet, she excused herself and went to the kitchen to retrieve it and take it back to the others. But, the odious smell of tuna had so permeated the kitchen that it almost made her gag. Wondering what brand Kenneth had purchased, and what its expiration date was, she pulled one of the cans out of the trash bin. When she examined the label, she discovered he had gotten tuna cat food, and expired ones at that. Kenneth never knew, but she ran out the kitchen side door, and threw up in the bushes outside the door. Hurrying back to the dining room, she motioned to the girls not to eat their sandwiches by pointing to the sandwiches and doing the throat-cutting motion across her neck. Since neither of them had liked the smell of them in the first place, she didn’t need to convince them not to eat them.
Looking over at Kenneth, she saw, however, that he was at that point actually licking some cat food tuna off his fingers. And, his sandwich was gone! When he looked back up and saw that Stella had been witness to his bad manners, he simply smiled and said, “I couldn’t help myself. It just tasted so good!” Stella told Leana and Jeannie later in the kitchen. Laughter rocked the walls! Fortunately, Kenneth was in the backyard when the riotous laughter was bouncing off the kitchen walls, so he didn’t hear. And no one ever let him know of the error in his grocery-shopping task.
Stella laughed so hard when she was telling the story that she accidentally swallowed some of her soda wrong and it came out her nose. Awsty watched first to see Stella’s reaction, but when she burst out laughing even harder, Awsty joined in. The merriment finally died down, and it was at that juncture that Stella laid her gaze directly on Awsty, and asked her a question, one she couldn’t answer.
“Awsty, my marriage was wonderful, and I know it was because God had already picked my husband. And, in His Time, He showed me. How will you know who God has picked for you?” Thinking perhaps the question was rhetorical, Awsty gave no reply. Stella became totally silent. It became quite apparent then that Stella was actually awaiting Awsty’s answer.
Under any other circumstances and with most everyone else in her life, the silence would have been awkward, and her response would, no doubt, have been defensive. Not with Stella, however. They had a special relationship that allowed each to be herself.
After several minutes, Awsty lifted her downturned head, and looking squarely at Stella, she said, “I don’t know.”
Stella didn’t jump in with a new topic to end the silence that again permeated the room. And, after several more minutes of quiet reflection, with her eyes looking far off into space, Awsty returned her gaze to her dear friend, and asked the question. “How did you know?”
*****
At a break in his afternoon duties at church, Pastor Greg found himself offering up prayer on Awsty’s behalf. It wasn’t something he planned. He hadn’t even been thinking of her this morning… well, not all morning. This moment was, however, one the Lord had planned. With his hands folded and resting his elbows on his office desk, Greg closed his eyes, bowed his head and prayed.
Lord, bring someone today into Awsty’s life that will spiritually challenge her. Someone who will share the simple Gospel message. Someone whose life backs up what he or she shares with Awsty. Give her much to think about over the weekend. Thank You, Lord.
*****
Awsty came away from her visit with Stella carrying a new agenda for the weekend. She was going to give some serious thought to all Stella said. About her husband, about the role of Jesus in her life, and about how she would know who God had picked for her.
Chapter 33
Sleep didn’t come easily to Awsty Saturday night. Even after lunch at a local Chinese food restaurant with Doris, both of them shopping for a few needed clothing pickups, testing of multiple perfumes at the department store they both frequented, two hours of playing racquetball, then going back home and watching a couple of old classic movies with Grammy, Awsty found no rest.
In fact, the longer she lay in bed, the more restless she became. She kept trying to convince herself that she had over-stimulated her mind with all her activity during the day, and that was the reason for the insomnia. But, when Awsty finally became honest with herself, she knew it was because of the question Stella had asked her yesterday.
In truth, it wasn’t so much the question of how she would know the man God had planned for her. It was what that whole question implied. If God has someone planned for me, that means He gets personally involved in our lives. And, if He gets personally involved in our lives, then He deeply cares and interacts with us. And, if He cares and interacts with us, the whole death on the cross thing is for my benefit. And, if His Death is for my benefit, what does He expect in return from me?
During the weeks and weeks of sitting under the Bible teaching of Pastor Johnston and sometimes Pastor Greg, Awsty had been taking in more of the Gospel message than she’d realized. The teachings, she reasoned, all centered around the central theme of us being sinners who deserved to die because of our disobedience to God. But, God loved us so much that He didn’t want us to have to die and be eternally separated from Him. So, he sent Jesus to pay the death penalty for us. Once the penalty was paid by Jesus, the only remaining thing to do was for us to accept this gift. The gift of salvation.
“Gift.” Pastor Greg called it a gift. That meant it had already been given to Awsty. She was saved already, right?
The Holy Spirit prodded Awsty. At what point does a gift belong to the recipient?
Awsty listened to the prodding.
When Grammy had her birthday last month, and I got her the book she’d been asking for, at what point did that gift belong to her? Was it when I paid for it at the Bible book store? Was it when I wrapped it all up in that pretty paper, slapped on a bow, and address the attached card with her name on it? Was it when I held the gift out to her for her to take?
The gift belonged to her when she actually took the gift out of my hands and took possession of it!
The Holy Spirit prodded further. John 3:16.
Awsty remembered the verse reference from two places. One was when she was a child. Grammy had helped her memorize it. She could say it perfectly. But, the years had faded its perfect message, as she continued to ignore it in her life.
Second place was in the foyer of Open Door of Faith. It was a huge picture. It showed an empty cross and the verse, with its reference. She looked at it every Sunday upon entering. But, until now, she had only given it a cursory glance each time.
Reaching over to her nightstand which held the old Bible Grammy had left there when Awsty showed up on her doorstep, she grabbed it up.
Where is that verse?! Where’s John? I know it’s closer to the end of The Bible than the front. I think! Table of Contents. Does the Bible have a Table of Contents? Yeah… here it is. Ok… John. John… John… John… Where’s John? Oh, here it is. John’s in the New Testament. Old Testament, New Testament. I get the ‘old’ and ‘new’, but what’s a Testament? Hey… later! I gotta find this verse. Ok, here’s the first page of John. I need three. Three what? Wait… Grammy told me that each book had chapters and verses. Is that right? I guess I’ll just have to check myself here.
Awsty looked at verse three and verse sixteen of the first chapter, but neither of those was the verse she was looking for. So, she started looking at the chapter numbers.
Here’s chapter three. So… the sixteen must be the verse?…
Here it is! Here it is!
Just above a whisper she read aloud. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His Only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Ok. So, God loved the whole world and sent Jesus to pay the death penalty for everyone. But, it says ‘whosoever.’ ‘Whosoever’ is just one person. It doesn’t say ‘everybody.’ I guess that means each person that believes in Jesus won’t perish. They’ll have everlasting life. One person at a time, right? Yeah… one person at a time. And, the gift only becomes theirs when they reach out, grab and take possession of it.
Jesus, I’ve always believed in You with my head, but I’ve never felt any different. And, it obviously didn’t make much difference in my life, or the way I lived it. There must be something more.
The Holy Spirit continued His proddings as Awsty responded to each previous one. The tract given out to visitors at the church doors when they enter.
She’d stuck it in one of the pockets of her black shirt. It had been there ever since the first Sunday Grammy made her go to church. She remembered how mad she was that Grammy made her accept it from Pastor Greg’s hand that day. She’d rammed it into the pocket right there in front of him, and it got pretty mangled with the action. She remembered how he winced when she did it.
Running over to her closet, she reached into the pocket she knew she’d plunged it in. There it was, in all its crumpled glory. She held it carefully as she walked back to the edge of her bed. Rather than sitting on the bed, she sat on the floor next to the bed.
Opening and perusing its contents, she came to what she was looking for. Something she’d read unenthusiastically the day he gave it to her. In the tract, it had a prayer at the end. It said for the reader to pray it to the Lord. First, Awsty read through it as though it were a book, a novel, an essay. But, even during the time she read through it, the Holy Spirit was continuing to reveal what Awsty needed… and wanted!
Thoughts flooded her mind and heart. She reviewed the disaster her life had been when she had control. Her mother’s had been no different. She thought of the spiritual teaching of Grammy that had laid the foundation, but had been dormant within her for most of her life. She saw the sweet faces of Doris, Greg, and Mason, her three dear friends that had stood by her and loved her in spite of herself. And, she knew their faithfulness to her was because of their relationships with Jesus.
In a sudden burst, the floodgates of Awsty’s tears opened. She laid her head on the edge of her bed, and her body shook with the tears of mourning for her unconfessed sin.
Opening the tract again to the last page, Awsty read only two words of the sinner’s prayer.
“Dear Jesus…” No sooner were those two words released when she tossed the tract on the bed a couple of feet away. She didn’t need to read the prayer in the book. She knew everything she needed to know and craved to speak to Jesus from her own heart.
“Jesus…” She could barely speak, but continued her conversation with the One Who loved and died for her sin. “Jesus, I’m horrible and don’t deserve Your Love! I can’t believe you died to pay for all the sin in my life! Actually, I do believe! I do believe! I believe You’re the only One Who would pay my penalty! And, You did!
“I accept Your Gift!” As she spoke this statement, she actually lifted her hands toward heaven. In the innocence of a newborn, she trusted that the Gift He offered, He meant her to have, if she wanted it. And, she did! She truly did!
Almost as if a gift of great worth had been laid in her hands, then released by the Giver, she drew her hands to her chest and softly said, “Thank You! Oh, thank you, Jesus!”
At that moment, the heavens exploded with the praise of angels, who celebrated at a great ‘redemption’ party!
Chapter 34
“Good morning, Grammy!” Awsty was far too exuberant for morning. She raced toward her Grammy, who was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of much-needed coffee. She gave her a great big hug, and topped it off with a kiss on her cheek.
“Thank you! Want me to make ya something quick to eat before we leave for worship service?”
“No, Grammy. I have everything I need today!”
“Well… that’s good, Sweetheart. What’re ya in such a good mood about?” Grammy asked, with a puzzled look on her face.
“Well, believe or not, as of this morning, you have two relatives living with you.” She tried to keep a serious face, but was having trouble sustaining it.
“Two relatives? What d’ya mean?”
“You have both your granddaughter and your sister living here.” Her growing grin seemed to stump her grandmother altogether.
“Awsty, I don’t understand what yer sayin.’”
“Well… would it help if I said that your granddaughter lives here, and during the night your sister in Christ showed up.”
“Awesome Beauty Truesdale, are ya tellin’ me that ya asked Jesus into yer heart and life?!”
“Yes, I am. Feel free to refer to me now on as Sister Truesdale.” By now, both Awsty and her Grammy were laughing, hugging and rejoicing.
“I want to hear every detail, Sweetheart!” Grammy perched in her chair in anticipation. But, Awsty told her that it’d need to wait until after church services. She told her grandmother that for the first time in her entire life, she could hardly wait to get to God’s House and worship her Savior.
*****
“Pastor Greg,” Awsty said, as she shook his hand at the church entry. “Are you free tomorrow for lunch? I want you, Doris, Mason and me to have lunch together. I have something to tell you guys that is the biggest yet in my life! Let’s make it twelve-thirty at Mexicale Rose. It’s your fault I’m addicted to that place now.”
Greg looked searchingly into Awsty’s face to see if he could discern a
nything.
Pastor Greg smiled his biggest of the day. He didn’t know what she could be suggesting, but just seeing the excitement on her face made him respond in kind. “I’ll talk to Doris. If she can come, I’ll come. I don’t want to miss out on this.”
Awsty just squeezed his welcoming hand, then released it and enthusiastically walked off to her Sunday school class. Grammy watched the exchange, squeezed Pastor Greg’s hand, grinned expansively, then walked into the sanctuary.
Having already run into Mason, fortunately not literally this time, she pulled his arm when he walked by her in the Sunday school hallway. He didn’t know if he should be glad, or if he should run the other way. When he decided to allow himself to be hauled to the side wall, she immediately began talking.
“Mason, I’ve invited Doris and Pastor Greg to lunch tomorrow at twelve-thirty at Mexicale Rose. I want you to be there too. I have something big to tell all of you. I can’t stand it. I have to tell someone, and I can’t think of telling anyone before my three dearest friends. Can you come?”
“Well, I want to. Let me think about it. Now that I’ve started my internship, my time isn’t my own anymore.”
“Oh, I know your priority needs to be your work. So, if you can’t, I’ll understand. But, if you can, just show up. We’ll be there. And, if you can’t, I’ll tell you about it sometime later.”
Awsty slightly caressed Mason’s arm before turning to continue her walk to class. Mason followed slightly behind her, wondering what could be so wonderful that she just had to tell the three of them.
She wants me there? She wants me there… Why does she want me there? I’ve got to find a way to get there, even if it’s just for a few minutes. She wants me there!
Chapter 35
All three had cleared their schedules enough to allow for lunch with Awsty at Mexicale Rose. Each person, being a creature of habit, sat in the same location at the table as the last time they’d been there. This meant that Pastor Greg was on one side of Awsty, and Mason on the other.
Before starting the story of how she’d come to Christ alone in her bedroom, she grabbed both Greg’s and Mason’s arms, and leaned over the table toward Doris. To Awsty, it meant nothing more nor less than her usual reflex when talking excitedly about something with a friend, especially when relaying something really unexpected.
Becoming His Awesome Beauty: Volume 1 Page 16