Caliente

  “You are sooo cerebral, David,” Marilyn said as she walked toward the vendor line.

  “Damn! According to her, I’m personable, good looking, and cerebral. No wonder I have wenches climbing on me,” Doc said with slight sarcasm.

  * * *

  Doc took a path in the opposite direction Marilyn chose. He thought he might find something special for her in all the treasures.

  Doc noticed a small, thin, well-built Latin lady approaching him. He recognized her as one of the seasonal regulars at Caliente. It was Maritza Martin. She was waving frantically at Doc. He stopped his chair and waited for her.

  “Doc, I really need a favor,” Maritza said.

  “How can I help you sweet lady?” Doc asked.

  “There is a $10 entry fee for the oil wrestling competition. They won’t take cash and I’m not a member. I’m just a visitor. I need you to sponsor me,” she explained.

  “What is your category?” Doc asked.

  “I’m in the lightest category: 48 kilograms or 105 pounds,” Maritza replied.

  “Let’s go get you enrolled,” Doc said.

  Once the registration was completed, Maritza gave Doc a big hug and a long, wet kiss. It was noticed by many of those in the Tiki Bar and winter pool area.

  Maritza waved and remarked in a Terminator voice, “I’ll be back.”

  As Doc nodded, Mako arrived on the scene. Doc knew that it wouldn’t be long before he was subjected to a Mako cross examination.

  “What did you do to get a face full of her?” Mako inquired.

  “I paid $10 to sponsor her in the lightweight division of the oil wrestling competition,” Doc replied.

  “I’m sticking around to see if she wins the $150 prize,” Mako said.

  “Are you a wrestling fan?” Doc queried.

  “Not necessarily. I just want to see what she gives you for a $150 win,” Mako said.

  “Mako, you are immutable,” Doc responded.

  “Is that good or bad?” Mako queried.

  “It means you never change,” Doc said.

  “That’s good! I am very consistent,” Mako beamed.

  Marilyn walked up to the two men and asked, “So what earned you all that public affection from Maritza?”

  “He sponsored her in the oil wrestling competition. He paid her entry fee,” Mako explained.

  “It’s another CNN reporter on site giving slanted coverage,” Doc remarked.

  “Are you betting on a little side action, David?” Marilyn asked with a smirk.

  “I’m waiting to see what he gets when she wins the $150 prize,” Mako said excitedly.

  “I’m interested in that, too,” Marilyn replied.

  Changing the subject, Doc asked, “Speaking of wenches, are you registered for the Best Wench contest?”

  “As a matter of fact, I am,” Marilyn replied.

  “Do you think I can win?” Marilyn asked.

  “What do you think, Mako?” Doc asked hoping that Mako would give a bad answer.

  “She needs to drop those panties,” Mako opined.

  “Why? As Waver says, the judges would see Christmas,” Marilyn remarked.

  “That’s the point, Marilyn. It’s what the French call lagniappe or a little extra,” Doc replied.

  “I’ll think about it,” Marilyn said.

  “Think about that $300 first place prize,” Mako said as Marilyn continued making her trek to the remaining vendors.

  “Doc, if both of those women win, I can be your back up guy,” Mako remarked.

  “You’ve got all you can handle. I’ve heard that some days you’ve got more than you can handle,” Doc said tongue-in-cheek.

  “Who told you that? Did Beverly say something to you? Don’t you know that’s just rank gossip and hearsay?” Mako asked in rapid succession.

  “As an acting CNN guy, you certainly realize that I can’t reveal my sources,” Doc said as he turned toward the Tiki Bar. Mako stood there shaking his head and fuming.

  * * *

  Doc rolled his wheelchair underneath the low side of the counter of the Tiki Bar. He placed an order for his usual Shirley Temple. He listened to the live band playing their version of Rod Stewart’s, “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”

  A very beautiful and sexy blonde stepped beside Doc and asked, “Do ya?”

  “I beg your pardon?” Doc replied.

  “Do you think I’m sexy?” the lady replied.

  “If you look up sexy in the dictionary, your picture is there,” Doc replied.

  “That’s an old one,” she said with a smile.

  “I could have asked if you’ve ever made love to a man in a wheelchair?” Doc said hoping to shock her.

  “No, but I’m game,” she replied.

  “I’m obviously under matched for verbal sparring with you. I’m David Michaels,” Doc said.

  “Actually, you are Dr. David Michaels, an oral surgeon. I’m Samantha Simpson,” the beautiful blonde said.

  “I wasn’t aware that we had met,” Doc said.

  “You are the guy that avoided the drive by on the night of Hurricane Dani,” Samantha offered.

  “What drive by? I’m not sure what you mean?” Doc queried.

  “Remember the girl you called Goldilocks? She climbed into your sleeping bag looking to do the wild thing with someone she didn’t personally know. A lot of folks around here call that a drive by,” Samantha explained.

  “Was it unusual that she wanted a drive by or that I didn’t want a drive by?” Doc asked.

  “Buy me a Shirley Temple and I’ll spill my guts,” Samantha said with a smile.

  Dave McDonald had been looking for Doc for about an hour. He finally located him in the Tiki Bar engaged in meaningful conversation with Samantha.

  “Doc, I need to speak with you about the golf cart,” Dave said.

  “Ask me anything. I want to get back to Samantha’s tell all,” Doc said with a silly smile.

  “I mean I need to show you something before the golf cart parade,” Dave insisted.

  “Duty calls, sweet lady. Maybe we can catch each other later this weekend,” Doc said.

  “I’m counting on it,” Samantha said while giving Doc a cute little goodbye wave.

  After Doc had rolled past most of the end of the large pool, Dave put his hand on Doc’s shoulder to get him to stop. When Doc looked at Dave, he had an unusual expression on his face.

  “Doc, how well do you know Samantha?” Dave inquired.

  “I was getting to know her quite well until you showed up with a golf cart issue,” Doc replied.

  “Doc, I don’t think that she’s what you think,” Dave opined.

  “She’s sexy, beautiful, intelligent, and has a great personality. What else is there to worry about?” Doc asked.

  “She’s got a penis,” Dave said bluntly.

  “I’m waiting for the rest of the story on the point you’re trying to make,” Doc replied.

  “She’s a transsexual. Now that’s her business, but you need to know that before you go all schoolboy on her,” Dave remarked.

  “I don’t care what type of equipment she has or doesn’t have. I don’t intend on testing it now or ever. It’s hard to find good, decent, and, caring people these days regardless of their gender or gender preference,” Doc said.

  “Doc, I didn’t . . .,” Dave said before being interrupted.

  “I saw her little secret bulging in that bikini. I enjoyed her company. I appreciate your concern. I’m not offended,” Doc said.

  Marilyn appeared beside Doc as he finished his conversation with Dave McDonald. She was in a happy and excited mood.

  “What have you been up to?” Marilyn asked.

  “Having a Shirley Temple with a very beautiful transsexual,” Doc admitted.

  “You must mean Samantha. She’s a wonderful person,” Marilyn said.

  “Aren’t you afraid I’ll run off with her?” Doc asked rather sarcastically.

  “She’s a blonde. You like sult
ry brunettes like me,” she replied.

  19. Caliente Pirate Festival (Part II)

  Mako appeared at the group and said, “Hey! The oil wrestling competition is about to begin. Maritza’s up first.”

  The group returned to the winter pool area. There was a large inflatable pool about 24 inches deep, six foot wide, and eight feet long. It was filled with vegetable oil.

  The object of the match was to strip your opponent and pin her for at least a three count. Usually the tiny bikini tops didn’t last long. The loss of the bikini bottom wasn’t far behind.

  The time set for each match was five minutes. If a contestant had been stripped and another had some clothing intact, the naked wrestler was the loser. If both contestants were naked but neither had been pinned for a three count, the winner would be chosen by the three judges.

  There was a referee that managed the wrestling to keep the competition clean. He also served as an interpreter of the specialized Caliente oil wrestling rules.

  Maritza steeped into the inflated and oil filled ring waiting on her opponent. One other lady in the 98 kg/105 pound had registered to compete.

  After a minute or two, one of the judges called the opposing contestant to the match. A minute later he made a second call.

  The referee lifted Maritza’s arm to signify that she was the winner by default. She was so excited that she jerked off her small bikini top and rolled around in the oil. The crowd cheered and clapped for her success and subsequent victory celebration.

  Maritza saw Doc and rushed toward him. She jumped into his lap and gave him a bear hug and a long, rather passionate, kiss.

  Mako said, “I knew it! I knew it! She’s gonna rub all over him!”

  “At least that oil will prevent him from overheating,” Marilyn remarked.

  After the momentary excitement had abated, Maritza left the group and made her way to the judges’ area to claim her $150 prize. She was officially the Caliente Oil Wrestling champion in her weight class.

  “It’s time to go home,” Doc said.

  “Nooooo! It about time for the Pirate Video Contest,” Mako exclaimed.

  “Your degreasing will have to wait,” Dave McDonald said.

  The sun was sinking behind the horizon and it was just getting dark enough to get a good look at the video presentations. A large crowd had gathered around the large waterfall pool.

  An inflatable screen with a large white painted surface had been set at the waterfall end of the pool. It was a great spot for the most festival participants to view the videos.

  One of the judges motioned for Mako to come to the judges’ area. Everyone wondered what was happening.

  “He’s been disqualified,” Doc opined.

  “Why would you say that?” Marilyn asked with a shocked look.

  “Those Miss Tittie videos are just too hot for this crowd,” he replied.

  “I don’t think anything is too hot for this rowdy bunch,” Dave McDonald opined.

  “What did they want?” Doc asked.

  “I can’t say,” Mako responded.

  “What do you mean by that?” Doc asked rather impatiently.

  “I can’t reveal my sources and I’ve promised to keep the information confidential,” Mako said smugly.

  On the large screen appeared a panel that said Caliente Pirate Video Contest. It was accompanied by some loud, epic sounding music.

  Like clockwork the contest opened with the Miss Tittie series: Watermelon, Freezer Panties, Tittie Wash, Top Down, and Titillation.

  The crowd clapped, cheered, and whistled as the five minutes of Miss Tittie videos came to an end. Marilyn was a little self-conscious and a little embarrassed at the attention from several hundred Pirate Festival attendees.

  One of the judges had obtained a microphone and raised his hand to silence the crowd. It seemed unusual that the judges would stop the show in the midst of the competition.

  He began, “The judges reviewed the five contestants’ submission to the contest. Some had content that we felt exceeded the boundaries set by the contest rules. One was voluntarily withdrawn because it was submitted without the permission of the model.

  Therefore, the Miss Tittie montage is declared the winner!”

  The crowd clapped, cheered, and screamed in favor of the announcement. In fact, there were some calls to show it again.

  Mako grabbed Marilyn, gave her a tight bear hug, and gave her a long, excited kiss. Doc knew he’d get to talk about this for at least a couple of weeks.

  The judge raised his hand to quiet the crowd. Everyone was curious as to what the next announcement would say.

  “When the contestants submitted their selections for this contest, we asked them to submit an additional short video of no more than two minutes in duration. The additional video would be shown in behalf of the contestant placing first in the contest,” he explained.

  No one knew which of the other almost forty video clips that Mako had submitted in case of a win. They held their breath waiting for the title.

  “Mako Jenkins has submitted an additional Miss Tittie video, entitled, Mouse Tattoo.”

  “Oh, Mako! You didn’t! This is naughty!” Marilyn whined.

  “I didn’t realize she had a tattoo,” Dave McDonald remarked.

  “You’re about to find out why,” Doc replied.

  The Mouse Tattoo video began with a nude from the waist up Marilyn remarking, “Hey! Did you know I have a little tattoo? It’s right down here.”

  The camera slowly moved to her smooth middle regions.

  Marilyn then said, “It’s a little mouse.”

  After it lingers for a moment or two and there is no mouse tattoo, Marilyn said with shocked expression, “Oh no! My pussy ate it!”

  The camera pans back to a shot of her from the waist up. Her smile has turned into a look of utter surprise.

  She shrugged and said, “Oh well!”

  The crowd noise was deafening. Marilyn hid her face. Mako jumped with joy. Dave McDonald broke into uncontrollable laughter.

  From that day forward, Marilyn became totally known as Miss Tittie. She said, several months later, that on judgment day she’d be called up by the name Miss Tittie rather than Marilyn Michaels.

  Marilyn looked directly at Doc and said, “You’re right. It’s time to go home.”

  Doc and Marilyn headed for the gate as the sun sunk behind the palm trees. Mako made his way to the judges’ area to pick up his winnings. The band on the stage crooned and played Montgomery Gentry’s version of Titty’s Beer.

  * * *

  After a long first day of Caliente’s Pirate Festival, Doc and Marilyn spent a quiet evening at 69 Sandhill Crane Drive. Mako could contain his enthusiasm so about 8:00 pm he had to come by and offer to share his $300 winnings with Marilyn.

  “Now Marilyn I’ll gladly split this money with you,” Mako offered.

  “No way,” Doc replied.

  “I agree but what makes you say that, David?” Marilyn queried.

  “You should be paying Mako. His hard work has turned you into a Caliente superstar. Steve Riley may offer to pay you to just stand around and show those beautiful breasts,” Doc replied.

  “I better leave. He’s working it up,” Mako remarked.

  “He’s doing a pretty good job, too,” Marilyn responded.

  * * *

  At noon on Saturday, Dave McDonald rang the doorbell. Marilyn answered the door wearing a pair of distressed denim shorts that offered a solid view of her buns.

  She had donned a matching short denim vest that was barely able to be fastened by the two large metal buttons on the front. The pedicure on her bare feet completed the look.

  “It’s about an hour before the Best Wench contest. Looks like you’re ready,” Dave said.

  “I’ve got to go get ready,” Marilyn replied.

  “Get ready? What’s this?” Dave inquired.

  “This is Doc’s version of Surrender The Booty,” Marilyn replied.

 
“Did you surrender the booty?”

  “Aaaarrrgh!” Marilyn growled.

  As she walked toward the master bedroom, Dave thought, “That sounded like a yes.”

  “Doc, are you ready?” Dave said loudly.

  Doc rolled out of the master bedroom not wearing anything but a smile. He gave Dave McDonald his trademark one eye closed, head tilted downward Doc look.

  “I was till you showed up,” Doc said.

  “What do you mean?” Dave asked.

  Mako, who had just stepped through the front door, said, “You cock blocked him. It was a coitus cut-offus pure and simple.”

  “Thank you for that reasoned diagnosis, Dr. Lust,” Doc replied.

  “I’m sorry but the golf car parade starts before the Best Wench contest. We have to go now,” Dave explained.

  “I’m not riding in the cart,” Doc replied.

  “Steve wants you to be leading the parade in your wheelchair,” Dave said with a smile.

  “Oh, those women will go wild over that Teddy Bear look,” Mako teased.

  “Let’s go. I’m sitting in this wheelchair. They can’t see my junk anyway,” Doc said.

  Mako grabbed his chest and exclaimed, “It’s the big one. Doc is exercising the option. He’s going out buck naked. This is exciting news!”

  “Wait! Wait!” Marilyn said as she continued, “I can’t miss this historic moment.”

  “That’s why Steve wants you to lead the parade,” Dave said with a laugh.

  When he arrived at the parade route, he discovered that he was going to be pushed along by last year’s Best Wench winner, Lila Love.

  “If I’d known you were going au natural, I wouldn’t have worn this pirate thong,” Lila said to Doc.

  “Throw caution to the wind and rip it off,” Doc insisted.

  Following Doc’s instruction, Lila ripped off the pirate thong and tossed it into the crowd. It landed on the head of a spectator who pulled it across his one eye and wore it as a dutiful buccaneer.

  The crowd loved the spontaneity. Even Doc clapped at the turn of events.

  “That’s why Steve Riley calls Doc a fixture. There’s always fun when he’s around,” Mako remarked.

  “He’s definitely a hand full,” Marilyn said.