by Sara Cate
Our mouths move in perfect harmony as her teeth pinch my bottom lip, and my fingers dig into her backside. I almost forget he’s watching us until we pull away, gasping for air and we both look his way at the same time. He hasn’t moved. But the look in his eyes has grown in intensity, staring down at us through hooded lids.
I want to kiss her again, and since I’m sure she can feel how hard my dick is between us, it’s clear that I want to do a lot more than kiss her. But it’s like we’re both waiting for him to say something else, like we’re waiting for instructions.
“That had to be more fun than watching us swim,” she says to him, touching her bottom lip softly with her fingers.
“It was.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” she asks, her legs tightening around my waist.
Instantly I glare up at him, but he’s quick to reply. “I’m sure.”
I don’t wait for his direction before I lay kisses against her neck, tasting the pool water as I move down to her chest. Her bikini top is a strapless band that covers her breasts, so when my fingers work to unclasp the back, I expect her to hesitate, but she doesn’t.
Her eyes meet mine as the tension releases, and the water takes her top, leaving her bare from the top up in my arms.
There’s a low hum from the chair on the pool deck just as my lips take a gentle bite of the soft flesh of her chest. Moving my hungry mouth down, I pull the soft hazel peak between my teeth and she lets out a delicious moan, arching her back.
“Is he hard, Hanna?” Ellis asks.
“Yes,” she pants, high pitched and needy. She rubs her body against the stiffness in my underwear and the ache to be inside her grows so intense I can hardly breathe.
“Reach into his boxers, Hanna. Touch him.”
With my mouth still on her tits, she does as he says, snaking her hand under the waistband of my briefs and grasping my cock in her hand. I can’t help the low growl that comes out of me as she squeezes.
Contrary to popular belief, water is not a lubricant, and it becomes instantly clear, mostly based on the harsh tug of my cock, that we need to move this out of the pool. But I’m impatient, so with her legs still wrapped around me, I carry her to the steps, and once I have the water at my waist level, I set her on the top step, so she’s sitting in shallow water.
This also gives me a perfect view of Ellis who is calmly watching this with his whiskey still in his hands like we’re performing for him. I guess we are.
I also take notice of the fact he’s not joining in. Usually he does, and part of me is anxious for him to, but I’m also processing the fact that he’s letting me have this. Maybe in some way he’s letting me have her.
She leans back on her elbows so her body is sprawled out before me as I continue to devour her, my lips traveling from her stomach to her breasts and up to her neck. When I kiss her mouth, she hums, touching my cheek with her hand. I don’t know why, but the intimate gesture sends my heart beating a little faster than it already is.
Sitting up, she begins to kiss down my neck and chest, and I suddenly know where this is going, but I can’t bring myself to stop it.
“Do you want to taste him, Hanna?”
“Mmhm…” she responds with her lips near the waistband of my boxers and so fucking close to the head of my dick. I nearly stumble as chills run over my skin.
“Do it.”
My eyes dance up to meet his gaze when I hear that familiar authoritative voice. And it’s with our gazes locked that she pulls down the fabric and places her warm lips against the head, making my eyes nearly roll back in my head. When she swallows me down against her tongue and I feel the back of her throat, my fingers dig into her hair, and I fight the urge to lose it already. He’s not here with us, but with him watching us like this it’s like he is.
Hanna’s mouth is working up and down on my length, and I hold back the urge to fuck her without mercy. Maybe an old Nash would have, but for now, I stare at the man in the chair as she drives me closer and closer to my climax.
“Hanna, stop.” Ellis’s voice pulls me out of my pleasure-laced daze, and I look down at the brown and blue eyes staring up at me. It takes my softly pulling on her hair for her to tear herself away. Her wet lips look so delicious I can’t help but lean down and capture them with my own. She hums into my mouth as our tongues tangle in warmth.
“I think she’s ready for you,” a cool, gravelly voice says from the chair outside the pool, and when I pull my lips from hers, I stare down with a question on my face.
“I’m ready,” she whispers against my mouth.
My body takes over, or maybe it’s an old version of Nash that flips Hanna over, putting her knees on the steps as she lets out a raw, guttural yelp. I kiss a line down her spine, hitting each vertebra before peeling down her bikini bottoms.
A tremor ripples through her body as I plant a kiss right at the bottom of her spine. My hand slides between her legs, feeling how ready she is for me, and I can’t wait another second. Covering her bent body with my own, I put my lips to her ear as I grunt, “He’s watching you. Does that turn you on?”
“Yes,” she cries, high-pitched and desperate, and I look up at him too, both of us staring at Ellis who seemingly hasn’t moved since the first kiss.
In a swift movement, I thrust into her, pressing my hips hard against her backside. She grips the pool deck as she cries out. With my hands tight on her body, I pound in again.
“Yes!” she screams, and I notice the way she shoves her body back against me. And soon it feels like we’re fighting again, her struggling for control.
With every thrust, I’m losing my mind, being taken over by this pleasure. Her body feels so perfect in my hands, as if she was made for me, and I can’t stop moving. I can’t take my eyes off her delicate nails scratching at the cool bricks of the pool deck. Then, I notice her eyes are still glued to Ellis in the chair. They are staring at each other, an intense connection between them.
But he’s not moving. Fuck, I wouldn’t have made it this long in the chair. He should be over here by now, guiding her mouth to his cock or at the very least stroking himself as he watches, but he’s not. Why?
“Harder, Nash,” he commands, and the guttural moan that comes out of me at his words is completely involuntary, and my body can do nothing but obey him as I slam into her again, this time making her scream.
Fuck, am I hurting her? I almost stop when he says, “Don’t stop. She’s almost there.”
Almost as if she can feel me hesitating, Hanna shoves her hips back again, impaling herself on my dick. Something instinctual takes over as I take her body fast and hard, losing all control.
We’re all lost in this torrent, stuck in the whirlwind, until Hanna finally lets out a cry and her body tenses then quivers and shakes so violently, I almost don’t pull out in time.
My orgasm rocks me to my core, and I spill myself all over her back. Fuck, I don’t know the last time I’ve come that hard, and my heart is pounding so loudly, I feel it everywhere, in my head, in my limbs, in my chest. As she collapses against the steps of the pool, she lets out a tired and sweet sounding, “Finally.”
I don’t quite know what that’s all about as I quickly wash away the cum covering her back.
Hanna and I are busy catching our breaths when I look up and see Ellis standing there with a white towel open for her. Giving her a hand, I help her out of the pool into his arms where he dries her tenderly without touching her or even looking at her naked body. A moment later, I pull my boxers up and climb out behind her, fishing a towel out of the storage bin.
She’s standing in his arms, his hands sliding up and down her arms to warm her.
“Ellis,” she whispers, looking up at him and touching his chin. My heart stops as I watch them. His lips press against her forehead.
“You should get to bed, beautiful.”
“But—”
“That’s enough for tonight.”
Almost on cue,
she lets out a large yawn and even I can see how sex-swept she is. When she turns around to look at me, I give her a nod. A moment later, she’s walking my way.
“You okay?” I ask as she stands toe to toe with me, a post-orgasm glow on her face.
“I’m more than okay.” Then she leans forward and presses her forehead against my chest, and I squeeze my arms around her wishing I could take her to bed with me. I want to feel her warm body against mine while I sleep.
Reluctantly, I let her go, and Ellis and I watch her walk to the guest house alone.
“Night, boys,” she calls back with a pout on her face. She almost looks like she wants to come to my bed as much as I want her to, but I’m not fighting for this one. I’m still reeling from how hot that was.
Hanna and I just fucked. It was raw and dirty and hot as hell.
Ellis only sends me one cold, blank look before he turns toward the patio to head inside.
“Why did you do that?” I blurt out.
He turns and looks at me with skepticism. “Do what?”
“You didn’t… It was like you were letting me have her. You could have…”
“I know what I could have done, but I didn’t. You said she was off-limits.”
“But I mean, if that was the case, I shouldn’t have fucked her either,” I argue.
With a tilt of his head and a hint of a smirk on his lips, he adds, “Nash, you almost sound disappointed.”
It hits me like a heat wave. I’m not disappointed. If he wanted to join that was on him, no skin off my back. But that’s not what I say because something else is bothering me. “Did it ever occur to you that she wants you? She would have let you do whatever you wanted to her?”
“Did it ever occur to you she’s not the only one I want to please?”
With that, he turns and walks into the house, and I watch through the window as he takes his bottle of whiskey to the kitchen. I swallow what’s left of mine and stare down at the empty glass.
And I realize something major. I expected him to be a part of what just happened, almost like I wanted him to.
16
We’re not talking about what happened last night. And I guess I should feel bad that I finally had sex with Nash, but I don’t. Because for the first time in eleven months, I felt something. And not just a mind-blowing orgasm, but something deeper than that. Something that made me feel alive. So, when I finally laid my head on the pillow last night, I fell into an easy sleep, dreaming of Nash’s hands and Ellis’s eyes.
There’s a soft knock on the door after I get out of the shower. When I open it, Nash is standing there but instead of his regular business suit and shoes, he’s wearing shorts and a snug-fitting T-shirt. As our eyes meet, I expect there to be awkwardness between us, but he only smiles at me, and a grin stretches comfortably across my face.
“Good morning,” I greet him.
“Morning. I know you said you were leaving today, but I realized you haven’t even been out on the boat yet, so Ellis and I decided you need to have a little fun before you go.”
With a twist of my lips, I gaze at him with a skeptical glare. “Out on the boat? Don’t you have work to do?”
“I can take a day off.”
“Nash Wilde take a day off?”
When he winks at me, I feel my knees weaken. I could blame him for trying to coax me into another scandalous situation like last night, which definitely will not happen again, but I don’t bother telling him that. Instead, I tighten my grip on the towel wrapped around me and say, “Let me get dressed. I’ll be out in fifteen.”
The boat dock is on the other side of the island, so when I come out of my room in my swimsuit and cover-up, Ellis and Nash are packing up the UTV with supplies, mainly a cooler and towels. When he sees me approaching, Ellis’s face lights up with a warm smile and he walks over to greet me with a hug.
“Sleep well?” he asks.
“Yes, thank you.” Already we’re dancing around what happened last night. I can feel it, but it’s not awkward. It’s almost…exciting. I’ve never done anything like that before. I loved it, I mean, clearly. Being ordered around and watched like I was some kind of sex slave…it was the dirtiest thing I’ve ever done, and that’s saying something.
“So, I thought we could head to the cay south of here. There’s a beautiful place to swim and a local bar and restaurant on the island,” Nash says, coming up to stand next to us.
“Sounds perfect,” I reply with a smile.
“We packed drinks, but if you want something specific—”
“I’m fine, Nash.”
He’s being weird. In fact, he’s been weird since yesterday when we came back from the city. More attentive, more generous, and it’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but he’s trying too hard. Or I guess he’s trying, period. And I’m not used to the new Nash.
Once the supplies are all packed, we take off on the lightly paved path around the island to the opposite side where there is an old hangar and the boat dock. We load up the speed boat, the smallest and yet most expensive looking boat they have parked out here, and as I climb aboard, I admire the two men working to get everything ready to go.
I’ve always appreciated the fact that Alistair was the kind of man who could have all the money in the world and was still willing to get his hands dirty and break a sweat. It seems he instilled that in Nash too, because watching these two men working is doing something to me.
The spirit between us is light as we take off from Del Rey, heading south. If living on the island is like another world, then being on the open ocean, the breeze through my hair and the sun on my skin, is like reaching another plane of existence. I’m sitting up front while the two of them are standing near the wheel. We’re not going super fast, but with the gentle motion of the water beneath us as we glide across the endless blue, I start to feel the weight of everything melt off my shoulders.
Pulling out my phone and for the first time in a long time, I type out a couple lines to a messy nonsensical poem.
Endless blue
World of infinite waves.
A cage and freedom in one.
It feels good to write something, anything. I’ll never share these words, but they belong to me. When it felt like nothing truly did, I had this.
Yesterday, I went into the city with the plan to put a down payment on my own apartment. Ellis helped me look at a few that would work, and something my savings could cover until I figure out what I want to do. It’s a start. I didn’t tell my mother, and aside from ignoring a few of her messages, I haven’t heard from her at all. Being out here, so removed from everything and being rightly distracted by these two men who are pulling me in two different directions, I haven’t even given much thought to how she’s going to react to the news I’m moving out and I’m giving up ballet, forever.
I decided it not long after getting here.
And it feels good to finally accept the decision, but I’m still unsettled. Something is still not right. Almost as if I know once I get back home, she’ll be there, ready to undo all of the confidence I’ve built here. She will tear every ounce of it out of me before I’ve even had a chance to live with it.
When I open my eyes, pulling myself out of these doom-like thoughts, I’m caught by the way Nash is staring at me. Those bright blue eyes are boring into me, and I’m struck by the emotion I feel in his gaze. Or maybe I’m feeling what’s happening in my heart. How since I’ve gotten here and that first night in the guest house, I’ve had to face my feelings for him and how badly I want to bury him in my arms even though all the good sense in my head is telling me how bad of an idea that is.
Nash is toxic, broken, and cruel. He will pull me down with him if I let him, but somewhere in my dumb head I have myself convinced I could love every single one of those things out of him.
And maybe he’s thinking the same thing as we stare at each other.
Next to him, Ellis is looking down at his phone, but I catch the way his eyes lift, a
nd maybe he doesn’t see me staring, but I watch as his gaze locks on Nash. I see the way he absorbs him with his eyes, living in some kind of one-sided love affair and I see what it is he won’t say. I know whatever happened between them was intense, maybe more intense than what happened with Alistair and Zara because Nash isn’t just over Ellis, he’s actively avoiding him.
Ellis never really told me what happened between them, but I think I have a feeling whatever it was, feelings got involved. And if there was sex, Nash must have felt something pretty intense for Ellis because he seems to be struggling with it right now. Whatever it is, they are both terrible at hiding it.
When we pull up to the swimming lagoon about forty-five minutes later, I’m left speechless by the beautiful blue and white alcove of rock and water. Nash drops the anchor as close to the jetty as he can, and I don’t hesitate before diving headfirst into the water. There’s another splash after mine, and I pop out of the water to see Ellis smiling at me, brushing his wet hair out of his face.
We both look up to see Nash still on the boat, looking down at us with a signature Nash scowl, and my face falls for a moment, afraid he’s going to find something to fight with us about, but he doesn’t. Instead, he peels his shirt over his head and dives in after us.
Ellis is the first to climb onto the low rock. “Don’t hurt yourself,” Nash calls in a mocking tone.
“Fuck you,” Ellis replies, and I let out an easy laugh. It feels so good to be alone with them. I wish it could be like this all the time. This is what I’ve been missing for so long, and I want to call it friendship, but I know it’s more than that. It’s almost like a sense of family with them, or is it belonging? Whatever it is, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave it yet.
Ellis stands on the lowest ledge of rock, his hands on his wet trunks, which are already short and tight, revealing the thick muscles of his tan thighs. I can hardly tear my eyes away, and I honestly wonder if he’s not doing this on purpose, standing up there like he’s on display, all of the sun’s rays highlighting every sharp edge of muscle on his chest and stomach.