by Varsha Dixit
Doyal read Gina’s message and then looked at Gina, her expression skeptical. She leaned forward. “I can’t wait to get away from this spectacle!” She kept her voice low enough so only Gina would hear her.
Gina pursed her lips. Doyal’s words had stung her. “Glad you find my life a spectacle.”
Doyal arched an eyebrow. “It isn’t?”
Gina had nothing to say to that for heart of heart she knew that Doyal wasn’t entirely inaccurate. There were prolonged minutes of silence as everyone was occupied with eating breakfast.
Gina sneaked a glance at Ojas and she caught him frowning rather fiercely at the knife he had in his hand. The plain old blunt butter knife seemed to be causing much angst to Ojas, going by the pronounced scowl lines on his forehead.
Unknown to Gina, keeping a calm distant front was getting harder by the minute for Ojas. He was suffering with an insane yearning to turn back time. Time when Gina was his and Samay was still alive. Ojas was terrified that he would not be able to survive if Gina left him again. I can’t let her go! But I have to! But I can’t! Suddenly, his chest felt tight and he had to draw deep breaths. He gripped the butter knife hard, to the point that his fingers turned white.
That very moment, Ojas looked up and his eyes clashed with Gina’s. She was watching him steadily, her look serene. She pointed at the omelet.
Ojas felt some panic dissipate. A flash of deep emotion flitted in his gaze. Nodding, he served himself some food. His hands weren’t the steadiest.
Gina warmed at the intensity with which Ojas had studied her. Ojas’s brief gaze had unnerved her. She blindly turned to Ritesh. Why the hell did you come here or not call me first, why did you even come, she wanted to shout. The questions burned on the tip of Gina’s tongue but she did not voice them. “So how is your mother?”
“Our mother,” Ritesh corrected Gina. He glanced at Ojas in a very deferential manner.
Gina clamped her teeth over her lower lip and then glanced down to hide her confusion. “Yes, how is she?”
“She is very well. She is looking forward to speaking with you. You should call her more often.” Ritesh again gave Ojas a reverent look. Ojas was only focused on his food.
“Did he say something to you? Did he threaten you in any way?” Gina kept her voice low. Ritesh was behaving weirdly. She did not have to specify who ‘he’ was.
Ritesh had no qualms about speaking out aloud. “Mr. Purohit has been so kind, so magnanimous with his house and time.” Ritesh gestured at his surroundings. “He so generously invited us all for breakfast. What a good husband you—” Ritesh swallowed, realizing what he had just been about to say.
Gina glared at Ritesh and then turned to Kyra and Meher who had their chins tucked to their chest and were not making much effort to hide their grins. Doyal was looking at Ritesh like she was observing an alien.
Gina took in a deep breath even as her nails dug in her palms. Gina glanced at Ojas. Ojas’s lips were clamped as he quietly cut his food.
“Your fiancée seems to have a crush.” Doyal murmured from the side.
Gina wanted to stomp her foot. She glanced sideways at Ritesh. “Why don’t you eat quickly so we can leave?” Her manner was brisk.
“Can someone cut the omelet, or whatever Gina wishes to eat, in smaller pieces. Gina might not be able to cut with her hand.” Ojas said, his tone casual.
“I can manage, thank you.” Gina flushed. She felt something twitch in her. No one, no one, said her name the way Ojas did. Even though her name had two syllables and four letters, yet it lingered on Ojas’s tongue.
Her expression thoughtful, Kyra studied Ojas then she looked at Ritesh and then Gina.
Gina gave her a warning look.
“So Ritesh, when is the wedding?” Meher asked, ignoring the manner Ojas had stiffened next to her.
“Let’s eat, Mahi?” Gina was quick to answer.
“That’s a very good question. I haven’t decided a date yet. My Mummy will consult our family astrologer and decide the date. I will inform you personally.”
“Does Gina have a say at all in deciding the date?” Doyal was gritting her teeth.
Gina started, “Yes, I—”
“No, my mummyji will decide. Gina has no family so my mother is the one who will decide everything. Gina is very grateful to my mother, right Gina?” Ritesh ran his tongue over his front teeth.
There were audible gasps from the Wallflowers. Even Ojas jerked his head back.
“Gina has no family? If Gina has no family, where do you think she came from?” Kyra said.
Meher matched Kyra’s expression. “You think a stork delivered her direct to Singapore?”
Gina started to explain, “Kyra, what Ritesh meant—”
“Why do you think she has no family?” Ojas could not stop himself from asking. He wasn’t looking at Ritesh; he was staring at Gina.
“Umm…” Ritesh looked at Gina, a little uncertain. “Isn’t she an orphan?”
Kyra and Meher sucked in their breaths. Ojas raised an eyebrow, slowly.
“Gina’s parents are settled in Amritsar and she has an elder brother and a sister.” Doyal said, putting her spoon down. “You should have told all this to your fiancée.” The look she gave Gina was laden with disappointment.
Gina took a deep breath and turned to Ritesh who was staring at her his mouth agape. Gina fumbled, for she had an audience. “I do have a family, but I’m estranged from them. We don’t talk much. They never forgave me for marrying Ojas.” She could not keep the bitterness out of her voice or expression. Her eyes found Ojas’s.
Ojas scrubbed his hand over his face. He put his knife down abruptly. “Ritesh, it’s all my fault. I let Gina down,” he swallowed heavily as he put his hand out and played with the spoon kept next to his coffee cup. “I betrayed Gina and am very ashamed to say that I was the reason she was estranged from her family…” he winged a remorseful look at the Wallflowers, “and her friends. I’m so sorry!” He now glanced at Gina.
Gina was taken aback. She wasn’t expecting such a heartfelt apology from Ojas. Gina blinked a few times and then looked away. She wasn’t ready to forgive him.
“So, you have a family?” Ritesh snapped. “There is so much that you haven’t told me about you.”
“She is trying to, now.” Ojas defended Gina before her friends could.
“It’s a little complicated. I’m so sorry!” Gina reached over and caught Ritesh’s hand on the table.
I can’t see this! Ojas threw down his napkin and shifted his chair back. He was done; his patience was on its last threads.
“I need to talk to you.” Gina blurted.
Ojas paused. His left cheek clenched. “About what?”
Gina was conscious of all eyes on her. She cleared her throat. “About the divorce papers.”
Ojas reached out for his walking stick. “I signed them, didn’t I?” He tried to smile but he couldn’t. Gina was still holding Ritesh’s hand.
“I didn’t!”
Everyone around her went suddenly quiet. Ojas cocked his head to the side.
“You don’t want to divorce him?” Meher leaned forward.
“I didn’t say that.” Gina shook her head.
“So why didn’t you sign the papers?” Doyal asked with ill-concealed impatience.
“Because I have something to discuss with. . .” Gina could not bring herself to take Ojas’s name. “With him. And I’m not telling you what it is, so don’t you two ask.” Gina wagged her finger at Meher and Kyra. Kyra shut her mouth quickly.
Ritesh watched them, his expression confused. He kept pushing his glasses back. “Gina, you are raising your voice. We all should speak properly, especially in front of Mr. Purohit.”
Ojas kept his face bland as four women fixed their indignant glances on Ritesh. Ojas did something he hadn’t done in a long, long time. He decided to have fun. Just hearing Gina say that she hadn’t signed the papers made him happy. He did not care for the reason,
even if it was something as silly as not finding a pen. “Thank you, Ritesh! You are a wise person. If it were the medieval times, I would bow to your wisdom.”
Ritesh bobbed his head and smiled a smile that seemed to spill out. “I bow to your wisdom, Mr. Purohit.”
“Why don’t you two get a room and enjoy each other’s wisdom?” Kyra quipped.
Gina looked at Ojas and the gleam in his eyes caused her to blink. Years seemed to have fallen from his face. His look transported Gina straight to the past, a past that she had relived just the night before. A past where Ojas and she were happy and together. She cleared her throat.
“So technically, Gina and Ojas are married. And you…” Doyal addressed Ritesh, “you and Gina are nothing.” Doyal sat back, her expression smug. “Just saying. Also, Gina, you should re-think your taste in men.”
Gina was taken back at Doyal’s biting words. She was sorely tempted to chuck something at Doyal seeing how Ritesh’s face fell.
“Doyal!” Meher said in a hushed voice.
Kyra snorted, “Wow Doy, you are really a bit—”
“Enough!” Gina pushed her chair back and stood up. She turned to Ojas who stood there, his expression wavering. “Can I speak with you in private please?” Her uninjured hand was clenched around purse strap that still sat on her shoulder.
Chapter 5
Ojas watched Gina gnaw at her lower lip, a habit showing her nervousness to those who knew her closely. She still does that! Ojas found hard to look away from her face since she had walked in. It’s still sexy as hell.
For the last five years, Ojas had lived under the illusion that he hated his wife and everything to do with her.
The last few years he had given Gina much pain, robbed her of all that was dear to her while he sat in the lap of luxury and did things no honorable man would do. Being around Gina the past few weeks, that illusion had started to disassemble bit by bit. For some, absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, Gina’s absence from Ojas for last five years had him starving for her. And Ojas just realized how much. But an illusion that one festers and live under for years does not disappear in a moment. Thus, when Gina had turned up at his doorstep a few weeks ago, Ojas had treated her with disdain and cruel taunts. He had even gone as far kissing her in anger to punish her for speaking of another man.
An act of anger initiated to torment Gina until her soft pale lips had touched his. Ojas had gone up in flames. He had kissed Gina like he was crazed, like her touch was breathing life in his soul that had been living in complete desolation. His body had remembered her scent, her smell. He had finally come home from a battle that had ended five years ago.
Ojas had sucked on Gina’s full lower lip, his tongue teasing the contour of her mouth. Gina had closed her eyes and her head had tipped back, offering Ojas more of her lips. Their faces touched and turned in unison so they could deepen the kiss. Warm skin met warm skin. Soon Ojas’s tongue was urgently stroking her lips, demanding entry into her mouth.
“Can we talk?” Gina was still looking at Ojas, awaiting his answer. Her eyes seemed large in her face and Ojas noticed her plucking at the bracelets on her wrist.
Shoot! Shoot! Ojas cursed his wayward thoughts; he was now hard as a rock.
“Of course!” Ojas reached for his stick. Ritesh stayed put, still chewing the food in his mouth.
“You’re not going with Gina?” Kyra addressed Ritesh.
Ritesh waved his fork, spraying bits of egg that were stuck to it. “Oh, Gina will be fine. It’s not like Mr. Purohit is some stranger to her.”
Gina knew that tone and expression. Ritesh was sulking. Thanks, Doyal! You did this with your stupid comment. Gina gave Doyal a hard look. Doyal replied with a dismissive shrug.
Ojas studied the guests at his dining table. He sighed. Ritesh was acting churlish. Meher was stabbing her idli with excessive force. Kyra was biting her toast like it were meat of a bone and chewing it rather noisily, all the while watching Ritesh with narrowed eyes. Doyal stopped sipping her orange juice long enough to murmur sarcastically, “The bed you make...”
Gina gave a low growl in the back of her throat.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Doy?” Kyra slapped her toast back on the plate. “You are acting so weird.”
“Gina, shall we go to my office?” Ojas was craving to get away from the madness before he substituted his tomato juice with something much, much stronger.
Gina was quick to move. “Yes, please!”
Ojas led her to his office. He had his hand on the doorknob and was about to turn it but then he paused. Gina too halted, rubbing her nape as she stared at the floor.
Ojas cleared his throat. Too many weird memories in there! He was thinking about the paper weight incident, and their acrimonious arguments. Those memories still burned him.
Gina too was remembering but not the paper weight incident. She was thinking about the time Ojas had taken her by surprise and kissed her. And I had kissed him back. Oh, how we kissed. She felt the heat climb straight from her feet and travel up her legs, right up to her face. Please don’t let it show on my face.
Ojas cleared his throat. “Let’s use some other room.”
Gina’s nod was vehement.
“There is a guest room we could use,” Ojas suggested, pointing toward a room at the end of the corridor.
“Sure!” Gina started walking toward it and then hesitated, realizing where she was going. The room where I found him with hookers! “Any other rooms?”
Ojas understood why Gina hesitated. The room where she saw me with the escorts! The sullied rooms seemed symbolic of his actions. Ojas leaned back against the office door. I have sullied not just this house but so many lives too. Ojas was thinking of his parents and younger brother who he hadn’t seen in some time. I have driven away everyone I loved, including Gina. He stole a glance at Gina who looked up and down the corridor, wondering where to go. What have I done to her? Standing before him was a quiet and washed-out version of the vivacious, stunning girl Gina had been once, a smile only a second away from her lips. Now the smile is replaced by constant wariness in her eyes. You don’t have to be wary of me ever, Gina. I will only bring you happiness, my love. I will do whatever it takes. His arms felt heavy like the rest of his body. “I’m so sorry Gina! So sorry!” His voice was low.
Gina studied the top of his bent head. Seeing Ojas’s stooped posture did not give her any gratification, nor did his apology. “We can talk outside.” She acted as if she had not heard what he had said. Head held high, Gina turned around and walked past the dining table. “We are going out to talk.” She addressed everyone at the table without looking at any of them.
Ojas followed Gina outside. Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!
Ojas tried to hold up his gaze but it dipped down to Gina’s derriere. Shapely as hell! He felt like a cad but his desire for her was as intense as his shame for what he had done to her.
Gina cleared her throat and Ojas raised his eyes. Gina was looking at him over her shoulder.
Ojas felt his neck grow warm; she had caught him ogling at her.
In the porch, he beckoned Gina to have a seat. She shook her head. “I’d rather stand but you should sit,” she said, glancing at his stick.
Ojas felt her pity. His neck grew corded and he clenched his jaw. A familiar rage burned in him. He turned away so Gina wouldn’t see it.
Too late! Gina saw the flash of anger in his eyes. Her eyes grew anxious and her shoulders stiffened.
Ojas saw the tension in Gina’s face. He tapped his stick against the tile. “I’m sorry. It’s just…just,” he swallowed. This is hard! “It’s just that I hate pity. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel small. I don’t like to feel small. . .less than what I used to be. I know I will never be who I used to be, but pity makes me feel like I’m a piece of dog turd.” Ojas paused to clear his throat and then glanced up, wondering how Gina was reacting to his words.
Gina’s mouth was open and she was rapidly
blinking her eyes. She quickly closed it. “You are not weak or turd.” She briefly closed her eyes. “Anyway, it’s not my business. I’m here to tell you why I didn’t sign the divorce papers.”
Ojas simply nodded.
“I still want the divorce. I just don’t want your money,” Gina blurted.
“Oh!” Ojas walked to the cane ottoman and lowered himself on it. “May I ask why?” He looked up at Gina.
Glancing down his face, Gina paused to study Ojas’s clean shaved face and the earnest look in his eyes that made him appear vulnerable. Gone was the arrogance, the cruel smirk that seemed to be perpetually attached to his mouth. Today, she saw contrition and remorse. Gina felt a tug at her heart. She took a step or two back, putting some distance between them.
“I want my freedom from this marriage, but I don’t want your money,” She asserted.
“You don’t know the kind of money I have made sitting in that chair.”
Gina crossed her arms and raised her chin. “But I don’t want it. You have earned it and it’s yours. I just want a divorce, simple as that. Can you have the papers made again without the settlement?”
Ojas’s grimaced. “Are you sure?”
Gina nodded.
Ojas got to his feet and tapped his stick against a tile. “Fine then! Consider it a wedding gift.” The words tasted as bitter as he had imagined they would.
Gina laughed. It was a laugh of irony.
“I shall have my attorney make a new copy. It might take a week.” Ojas gave her a kind smile.
Gina stared at Ojas, surprised by his easy capitulation. Neither the old nor the new Ojas gave up easy. “Well, then, I’m glad it’s all settled. I can stay back for a week. Show Ritesh around.” And I don’t have a job!
“And meet your family?”
Gina gave him a dead stare and then said. “They want nothing to do with me.” She turned around and walked back in the house.
The pain that he had just seen pass over Gina’s face cleaved him in two. I did that to her.