by Mari Carr
He pushed three fingers inside her, deep, hard.
“Ah!” Darcy gasped loudly, the sound a mix of pleasure and…pain? He lifted his gaze in time to see her slight wince, then her inner muscles clenched against his fingers, and she cried out again, her climax rumbling through her roughly.
One thrust.
God. She’d come with just one thrust of his fingers. He stilled inside her as she rode out her orgasm, trying not to think of how incredible it would be to feel her climax on his dick. She was so tight…so…
He pulled his fingers out slowly, listening to her shaky breath.
“Wow,” she said, her tone wholly Darcy. “That was…”
Suddenly, it wasn’t just Darcy he was noticing.
It was…more than that.
Way more.
He’d spent the last four years around this woman, never seeing what was now so blindingly bright, in focus, crystal clear.
“Darcy…are you a virgin?”
She bit her lower lip. “Not intentionally.”
The answer was so her that he barked out a brief laugh. Even as his chest tightened.
The sound took her by surprise, and even he could hear how rusty it was. He didn’t laugh much. “Maybe that was another secret you should have shared.”
She sat up gingerly, her gaze drifting lower, checking out what was beneath his belt. There was no way he could hide his erection from her, so he didn’t even bother to try.
“Do we have to stop?” she asked.
“Yes.” It was one word, the hardest one he’d ever spoken in his life. But he knew it was for the best, knew he didn’t have a choice. Because he couldn’t give Darcy what she wanted…and he didn’t mean sexually. “I’m not taking your virginity, Darcy. Not on the floor of an elevator. Not anywhere.”
“Ryder. I swear I’m not saving myself for marriage or anything like that. I’ve just never really been with a man I wanted to…”
Her words faded away before she revealed what she didn’t want him to know. What he suspected she’d been carefully concealing from him for years behind her breezy, easy, casual attitude.
It didn’t matter. Because that was the biggest reveal, the one thing he suddenly saw that he couldn’t deny or ignore.
Darcy Young was looking at him like he was her Westley.
And that was someone he wasn’t.
Chapter Four
Darcy was torn between throwing her sweater back on—she suddenly felt very exposed—or throwing herself on top of Ryder and forcing him to finish what they’d started.
She meant what she’d said. She hadn’t purposely tried to hold on to her virginity. It was just that she’d had the very good—or bad, or she didn’t know what the fuck kind of—luck, meeting Ryder Hagen when she was just barely twenty years old.
After that, every man—boy, really—couldn’t hold a candle to him. None of them were virgin-worthy. Not a single one.
Ryder took the choice of getting dressed away from her when he reached down and picked up her bra. She was surprised by how adept and steady he was as he pulled the straps over her arms, tucked her breasts back into the cups, and reached around her to fasten the hooks.
It was totally hot and completely disappointing all at the same time. She’d confessed that her first date would include a man who would take control, and damn if Ryder hadn’t proven himself to be one-hundred percent the man of her dreams in that regard.
Oh hell, who was she fooling?
He was her perfect type straight across the board.
“Ryder,” she started again, desperate to change his mind. They’d come so far tonight, and she couldn’t stand the thought of losing any ground.
“No, Darcy. This is over. That’s nonnegotiable.”
“Why?”
He gave her an amused look. “Do you have to question everything?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
She half-expected her response to annoy him, but instead he dismissed it with a soft chuckle. Then he reached behind her, picked up her sweater, and pulled it back on too, dressing her like she was some helpless little girl.
Her temper tweaked at the thought.
“I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself,” she grumbled, hating that she sounded a bit like a petulant child.
“I’m aware of that.” Even so, he stood up, then reached down to help her. She took his hand instinctively before remembering she was pissed off, allowing him to help her rise as well.
Kneeling, he pulled her panties back up as her skirt fell once more, covering her completely.
Within seconds, he had her dressed again. And despite her anger, his actions had only added kerosene to the fire still raging inside her. It was as if her earlier orgasm had never happened.
She needed him with a desire that physically hurt.
Once he finished setting her to rights, he tackled the buttons on his own shirt, tucking it back in, as she tried to figure out how they could have moved from her coming on his fingers so hard she thought she’d explode to this fully-dressed silence so quickly.
“Ryder,” she started. “I think—”
He shook his head, halting her words with just that gesture. Then, suddenly, he was pulling her into his arms, wrapping her up in a hug that was comforting and insulting.
Only Ryder could constantly provoke completely opposite reactions at the same time. His gentleness touched her, set her at ease, even as she felt him trying to pull away from her emotionally.
“Darcy. I let this go way too far.”
He did?
He wasn’t the only one in the elevator. There were two consenting adults…
Oh, that’s right. He still viewed her as a kid, the fucking babysitter.
“I don’t think it went far enough,” she retorted.
“I’m your boss.”
She rolled her eyes so hard, it actually hurt. “Oh, so that’s how we’re playing this, huh?”
He scowled. “I’m not sure what you mean by that, but—”
“I mean this wasn’t some random, stuck-in-an-elevator, vodka-induced hookup. And you know it. We’re not strangers, Ryder. Tonight, we shared—”
“More than we should have. And you’re wrong. Vodka did play a part. For both of us. We allowed it to lower our inhibitions and we did things we sho—”
“Don’t.” Her back stiffened as she stared him down, glared at him, dared him with her eyes to finish that sentence, to call what they’d just done a mistake. Because erection or not, she’d knee him in the balls if he did.
Ryder wisely closed his mouth and grimaced.
And Darcy fought to school her features, to hide her grin.
Because she had him now.
He wouldn’t say the words because he knew they weren’t true.
“And you’re not my boss. Helen is.”
“I’m Helen’s boss, so that makes me your boss.”
Darcy considered that. “She gives me my assignments, does my employment evaluations, oversees my work. You don’t do any of that. I don’t answer to you directly for anything. I’m under Helen’s umbrella. A lot lower down on the food chain. So I don’t see how work impacts this.”
“You’re tenacious.”
She smiled, taking his words as a compliment, even though she knew he didn’t mean them that way. “I’m a Collins. And if you think I’m tenacious, you should meet my mother.”
“I’ve met Riley, so I’m perfectly aware of where you get that particular personality trait. Sit down, Darcy,” he said, pointing to the floor. Before she could do so, he dropped down first, assuming the same spot he’d occupied for the past few hours.
She followed suit, curious.
“I’m going to tell you another secret.”
She nodded, uncertain if this was something she wanted to hear. His first secret had broken her heart, shattered it. She now understood why he was so cynical when it came to romance, but it also made her that much more determined to prove him wrong. To show him
that true love did exist.
“I haven’t been with a woman since Denise died.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, even though she wasn’t sure why his secret was that shocking. She knew he didn’t date, knew he’d wrapped his life around work and his sons. But even so, fucking wasn’t the same thing as dating. And Ryder didn’t strike her as the type of man who would do without for so long.
“Why not?”
And she knew the second the words left her mouth, that was one secret Ryder would not reveal to her. She could see it in the tightness around his mouth and the crease in his brow.
Then, he softened his voice. “Darcy, please. You have to let me do the right thing here.”
Before she could respond, the lights flickered on and, another moment later, the elevator started to descend.
Darcy and Ryder both slipped their shoes back on, rising and gathering their stuff.
Rodney, the security guard, was waiting on the ground floor when the doors opened, smiling tentatively. “Everyone okay?” he asked.
Darcy nodded, letting Ryder answer the man and thank him for his help. She opened up the rideshare app on her phone, requesting a car for them.
Ryder stepped up next to her. “Is there a very long wait?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Only a minute or two.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured quietly, and there was no questioning the sincerity of the words. Or the sadness.
Darcy wasn’t sure what to make of the sadness…but she was a Collins, and she had not yet begun to fight.
Turning, she smiled at Ryder, letting her expression set his mind at ease. For now. “Don’t be sorry, Ryder. You have no reason to be.”
He looked like he wanted to argue that fact, but instead he held his piece, then pointed toward the front door. “Looks like our ride is here.”
The two of them walked to the car, climbing in the back, explaining to the driver they had two stops.
She was surprised when Ryder reached across the backseat, taking her hand for a moment and giving it a squeeze.
Darcy squeezed back, depressed when he pulled his grip away again.
Neither of them spoke on the ride to the pub. It was dark inside the bar, though the apartment above was well-lit. Knowing her sister Sunnie, chances were good—blackout or not—the Halloween party had still continued, even though the pub had been forced to close.
“Guess I can’t convince you to come up and join the party,” she said, not bothering to phrase the words as a request. She knew how he’d respond.
“I think it’s better if I head home.”
She nodded, getting out of the car. Ryder stepped out as well, looking at the driver. “I’m just going to walk her to the door.”
The guy waved, picking up his phone to kill time as he waited.
They walked to the front door of the pub as she searched for her keys in her purse. Once she had them, she looked at him.
“Tonight was…” He paused and she held her breath, wondering what word he’d use to describe it.
“Don’t say fine,” she teased.
She smiled when instead, he said, “Surprising. In a good way. A very good way. I’m sorry you were trapped, but I’m glad you were there with me.”
“I don’t regret anything that happened. I hope you don’t, either.”
His rueful expression told her he wasn’t there yet.
They were silent for a moment, both of them clearly searching for something to say.
“Friends?” he asked tentatively.
They’d never been friends. Not really. But she got a sense he was asking sincerely. “Of course,” she said easily, certain that, despite her desire for more, they’d definitely stepped out of that in-between limbo land and crossed the line into a genuine friendship.
He bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. It wasn’t nearly enough and only reminded her exactly what kind of kisses the man was capable of.
“Wait,” she whispered when he started to draw away.
Ryder stopped, close enough that she could still feel the heat of his breath on her face, smell the vodka he’d drunk.
“One more real kiss? Please?” She tilted her face up to his, thrilled when he lowered his head and closed the distance. This kiss wasn’t as rough or hungry as the ones they’d shared in the elevator. It was softer, sweeter, a little bit sadder, but it still packed a punch.
Ryder pulled away first, pressing his forehead to hers in a gesture that was surprisingly charming. Until he spoke.
“That won’t happen again.”
His words were firm and spoken with enough conviction that she knew he meant it.
Poor guy.
“Good night, Darcy.”
“Good night.”
“I’ll see you at work on Monday.”
She nodded, and once again, Ryder had taken an innocuous statement and provoked two opposing feelings. Monday felt like years away and yet, at the same time, it would be here too damn soon. She needed time to figure out her next move.
He waited until she’d walked inside and locked the door, then she stood in the shadows of the darkened pub and watched as he climbed back in the car.
She sighed heavily as she headed upstairs to the Collins Dorm, the name her mother had given the upstairs apartment she shared with Colm, Gavin, and Oliver.
Sunnie was the only person in the living room, gathering up cups and trash.
“Party over?”
“Yeah. Everyone went home or passed out. Can’t guarantee your bed is empty. We all got pretty shit-faced. Hey, where the hell have you been?” her sister asked.
“Power outage. I got stuck in the elevator at work.”
Sunnie stopped in mid-clean-up. “Oh my God. Are you okay?”
Darcy nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”
She’d stepped off that elevator determined to go after what she wanted. Ryder was clearly still devastated by Denise—not just her death but her betrayal as well. And while it had been four years, it didn’t look like he had made any strides toward moving on. Instead, he’d buried his head in the sand—or in his case, in work and his sons.
Ryder wasn’t going to make it back alone. He needed a shove. And she was just the woman to do it.
“Ryder was with me.”
Sunnie’s eyes lit up. Her sister suspected her feelings for Ryder, even though Darcy had never come right out and confessed. “Do tell.”
Darcy dropped down on the couch. “Oh, Sunnie. He kissed me.”
“Whoa.” Sunnie put down the empty beer cans she was carrying and joined her on the couch. “And?”
“It was…” Darcy twisted on the couch to face her sister, and she was reminded of the million times previous to this when she and Sunnie would be the only two awake at home. Darcy, three years younger, had always idolized her fun-loving, crazy sister growing up, so she would wait up for Sunnie to get home from her dates, and the two of them would spend the next hour or two dissecting everything that had happened.
“It was…” Sunnie prodded.
“It was fucking amazing.”
“It had to be. Ryder’s all brooding and mysterious. You just know that guy is alpha from the word go. Believe me, if he hasn’t tied a woman up and spanked her ass, he’s thought about it a time or twenty. So, what happened after? What did he say?”
“He told me to take off my shirt and bra.”
“Shut. Up. He did not!”
Darcy laughed. “Sunnie, I swear to God, I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”
“Did you take them off?”
Darcy tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “Are you serious? Of course I did. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Then what did he do?”
“I swear it was just like one of those super-sexy movies where the guy can’t keep his hands off the girl. He pushed me down to my back and he came over me, kissing me the whole time and—”
“Darcy! Are you still a virgin?”
Da
rcy grimaced, sighing heavily. “Dammit. Yes. He figured out I didn’t have much—any—experience, and he stopped. Said he wasn’t going to take me on the floor of an elevator.”
“That’s sweet. Chivalrous, even.”
“Yeah. Lucky me,” she replied sarcastically.
“So that was it? Just some hot-and-heavy topless petting?”
Darcy lifted one shoulder, but the casual gesture only piqued her sister’s curiosity.
“At what point did he stop?”
Darcy blushed, her grin huge when she said, “He went down on me, and I came so hard, I thought I was going to shatter into a million pieces.”
Sunnie—who was never without words—was rendered speechless for a moment, her mouth agape. When she did recover, her response was more breath than sound. “Holy. Fuck.”
“I know. But then, like I said, he stopped. Even though I told him I wasn’t saving my virginity for marriage or even love. I just haven’t found the right guy.”
Sunnie rolled her eyes.
“What?” Darcy asked.
“You’ve been saving yourself for him, Darc. You’ve been crushing on the guy for years.”
“That’s not true. It’s just…” Darcy didn’t have a response for that because her sister had hit the nail on the head.
“None of those idiot drunk frat boys at college ever stood a chance once you laid eyes on Ryder Hagen. You’ve always been more mature than most kids your age. I assume it’s because you were always playing with me and Finn and the older cousins. It’s like you skipped ahead a few years or something.”
Darcy had never considered it that way, but now that Sunnie pointed it out, that did make sense. Darcy’s friend circle was typically always two or more years older than her because the kids in her own grade annoyed the hell out of her.
“The whole night was just so surreal. We played a get-to-know-you game for hours. Asking each other about everything under the sun. He’s so incredible, Sunnie. He’s smart and passionate about his job and the boys and Blade Runner.”
Sunnie crinkled her nose in disgust. “That movie sucks. Both versions.”
“I know,” Darcy said laughing. “I said the same thing. And he’s got a sense of humor. A really good one. He’s sarcastic, which I love, and he’s got this great laugh.”