by Mari Carr
Kissing Darcy was seriously becoming his favorite thing to do, and he found himself attempting to steal those kisses from her as often as he could. He ran his hands through her hair, his lips traveling along her soft cheek to her neck, to that little spot that never failed to provoke the cutest squeak.
He grinned when he hit the jackpot. Then he nipped her earlobe and she giggled.
“All good on birth control?” he whispered.
She nodded, and he started to kiss her again, surprised when she pulled away. “Why do you always ask me that?”
Ryder blew out a quiet sigh as he pondered what to say. In truth, he wasn’t sure why she hadn’t asked him that question before.
And on the flipside, he was pissed at himself for continuing to succumb to these stupid doubts that wouldn’t leave him alone. “I’m sorry, Darcy. I shouldn’t do that. But…”
“But?” she prompted.
He ran his hand through his hair, suddenly uncomfortable. He and Darcy had been together several times now, and more often than not, a memory of Denise found a way to sneak into the bedroom with him and fuck him up.
He considered shrugging off her question, attempting to distract her from her curiosity with more kisses. Finally, as always, he gave her the truth. “Denise was pregnant when we got married. That’s why we got married. We’d only been dating a few months. One night I didn’t have a condom. She said she was on the pill and…”
“She wasn’t on the pill?”
Ryder shrugged. “I don’t know the answer to that. When she found out she was pregnant, she said she’d forgotten to take it a few days, that she thought it would be okay.”
“Alright. I get that. But if you’re worried, then why not use a condom with me?”
Ryder studied her face for a long time. “The truth is, Darcy, I…”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he trusted her.
That he loved her.
Fuck.
He felt a little bit light-headed as he looked at her and realized…
This had all gone way too far.
He swallowed deeply, trying to push his stomach, which was now lodged in his throat, back down.
What the fuck had he done?
“It’s okay. Forget I asked,” she whispered, taking in what he was sure must have been one hell of a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.
She was letting him off the hook because Darcy knew him too well, saw things he didn’t intend for her to see.
She gave him a sweet—God, hopeful—smile, and his guts twisted. The woman didn’t have an ounce of self-preservation, insisting on looking at him like some goddamn Prince Charming or Westley or…
Panic mingled with anger and confusion and frustration.
Not a good combination.
He’d told her he didn’t want this. But she didn’t listen to him, didn’t heed his warnings.
She stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his cheek. “Don’t ask me about the birth control again,” she said softly. “If it’s not safe, I’ll tell you. I promise.”
Ryder remained motionless for a second or two, uncertain where to go from here. Part of him was telling him to take the high road, to be a smart man, put his clothes back on and get the hell out of there.
That wasn’t the part that was going to win.
Unfortunately, neither was Prince Charming. Darcy wasn’t getting roses and candlelight and soft words tonight.
“Get on the bed. Hands and knees.”
She did exactly as he said, even going so far as to taunt him by wiggling her ass.
He sucked in a deep breath and fought for control. Right now, he was walking a razor’s edge, but he seemed incapable of turning back.
He went to his bag to grab the present he’d told her about earlier.
She grinned at him over her shoulder.
“Eyes forward.” The words came out harsher, louder than he’d intended. If that frightened her, she gave no indication, merely turned to look away once more.
He approached the bed and sat next to her, running his hand over her bare ass, stroking it just once before smacking it a few times. Hard.
Darcy sighed and arched her back. “Please, Ryder.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, his heart racing at her plea.
He tossed a tube of lubrication and the butt plug he’d bought her on the bed next to her so she could see them.
“That’s where we’re going tonight.” His words sounded threatening to him, but damn if Darcy failed to pick up on it.
“Yes,” she whispered.
Wrong answer.
She was giving him the wrong answers.
He was overwhelmed by the need to protect her, to give her the man she deserved, but he’d never lied to her. Not once. And he couldn’t start tonight.
He spanked her again, over and over, not stopping until her ass and upper thighs were a deep pink. Darcy cried out a few times, but she never asked him to stop.
No. Instead, she lowered her head to the mattress, her ass still high, offering him perfect submission.
“Your safe word is ‘elevator.’ Say that, and it all stops. Say anything else and I keep going. ‘No’ won’t work tonight. Neither will ‘stop.’”
She shuddered as she turned her head to look at him. Her flushed face revealed her arousal. “Okay.”
“Say it now,” he demanded.
“Elevator.”
He nodded, then climbed on the bed, kneeling behind her. Bending over her, he gripped her hands and pulled them to the wrought iron headboard. “Hold on to the bars. Don’t let go. If you think you can’t manage that, I’ll find something in your closet to tie you up.”
“I can hold on,” she reassured him. “I won’t let go. Promise.”
He knew how much she loved being tied up, so he didn’t mistake her promise as reticence.
Unfortunately.
No. Darcy truly wanted to submit.
They’d been inching toward this for weeks, merely dipping their toes in, as he gave her a taste. She’d confessed yesterday in his office that her cousin, Caitlyn, had married a dominant man, BDSM a big part of their sex lives. The two of them had been eating lunch together, sitting together on his couch, talking.
She was so damn easy to talk to.
Last night, Ryder had tossed and turned for hours as he played out scene after scene of he and Darcy together. Sex swings, spanking benches, nipple clamps, ball gags. In his mind, he’d placed her in all of it, and he’d jerked himself to completion three times before he’d managed to finally fall asleep.
When he’d woken up this morning, all he could think about was seeing her. So he’d accepted Yvonne’s last-ditch-attempt invitation to the Boob Voyage party, stopping at a bookstore for Bubbles’s gift and a sex shop for Darcy’s.
He’d pulled Leo aside at the party to ask if he and Yvonne were okay with all three kids on their own tonight. Leo had grinned, said of course, then given him that worn-out dad advice, “if you’re gonna tap it, wrap it,” chuckling as he did so.
Ryder picked up the lubrication as Darcy held the position he’d put her in. Her grip on the headboard tightened when he stroked her slit. She was soaking wet and turned on, excited.
Darcy was adventurous, an enthusiastic partner. While still relatively innocent, she knew exactly what she wanted in bed.
Another curse—or blessing—of her being a part of a large family with lots of older cousins and her sister, Sunnie. The Collins women didn’t appear to hold back when it came to sharing confidences or answering Darcy’s questions. As such, it had allowed her to form her own opinions and contemplate her own sexual desires, so that when she came to his bed, she’d had an entire list of things she genuinely wanted to experience.
No restraint. No fear.
He squirted some lube on his finger, rubbing it around her anus.
Darcy breathed out loudly, excitedly. “God, Ryder. I love this all so much.”
Ryder grinned. Smu
gly. He couldn’t help it. He felt the same way.
He slowly pressed his index finger inside her, to the first knuckle, then the second.
“Breathe,” he murmured when he realized she was holding her breath. She blew out a long stream of air, shuddering as she did so.
He pushed that one finger in and out for a couple of minutes, giving her time to adjust. He’d bought her a small butt plug, the toy probably not bigger than two of his fingers. He didn’t want to scare or hurt her, recalling Denise yelling at him the night he’d tried this with her, telling him he was too rough, it was too painful, that he always pushed her too far.
He hoped that by initiating Darcy slowly, gently, it would increase the odds that she’d want to try it again, would eventually let him take her ass, to live out so many of those fantasies he’d played out in his mind.
Ryder shook that thought loose. Let it drift away. At some point, he was going to have to find the strength to walk away.
So he’d give her this—her first taste of anal play—and leave her future forays to…
Fuck.
He let that thought fly away too. The image of Darcy with another man went through him like knives, and for a moment, he was actually jealous.
Jealous of future lovers Darcy might take to bed?
It was preposterous.
Ryder had never been jealous a day in his life, not the type to ever work up that kind of passionate response. Hell, he hadn’t even sought retribution against the other man in Denise’s life because, in the end, he hadn’t been able to summon up enough emotion to care.
He dismissed all of that, hating the way his thoughts were all over the place. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand. He was too distracted, too in his own head.
Adding more lube to his fingers, he pressed in once more, this time with two.
Darcy gasped, but she didn’t release the headboard, nor did she try to pull away. “That feels…”
He slowly started thrusting, Darcy moving in tandem, not merely accepting the penetration but enjoying it.
“Damn,” she breathed. “Love…love this.”
Ryder stretched her for a couple minutes more before withdrawing and picking up the butt plug. “This is a little bit thicker but not by much. You okay to try it?” he asked, shocking himself with the question. With past lovers, he simply took charge, did what he wanted, and trusted the women in his bed would use their safe words.
Darcy was too young, too new to this. Safe word be damned. They were going to talk this out together.
“So okay,” she said with a soft laugh.
He squeezed lube onto the toy, then pressed the tip against her ass. “Don’t forget to breathe,” he murmured as he slowly pushed it in.
Darcy sighed and groaned, telling him without words how much she loved what they were doing. Once it was fully lodged, he lowered his head and bit her cute little ass.
Darcy jerked and laughed but never loosened her grip on the headboard.
“Roll over.” Ryder wanted to see her face. While she was a big fan of doggy style, he preferred to watch her face when she came.
Darcy flipped over, but damn if she didn’t keep her hands above her head, resuming her hold on the bars.
Ryder lowered himself until his chest was pressed to hers. They kissed as he rubbed her clit, bringing her to the brink of a climax, again and again, backing away at the last second each time.
Darcy was breathing heavily, flushed, and cursing a blue streak.
“Oh my God. Don’t stop!” she yelled at him. “I swear to fucking God, if you—”
He kissed her roughly, nipping her lower lip. “Who’s in charge here, Darcy?”
She narrowed her eyes, her need for release too strong. “Dammit! Ryder—”
“Who?” he repeated, his gaze locked on hers. “Tell me who.”
She hesitated just a moment before whispering, “You.”
“Who do you belong to?”
Ryder didn’t have a clue where that question had come from, but he wasn’t leaving this bed without the right answer.
“You. Always.”
Her response was instant—and it sent a piercing pain through his chest even as he savored every damn syllable.
“That’s right. You do. Don’t forget it.”
He gripped his cock, lined it up, and thrust to the hilt, her pussy even tighter with the plug in her ass.
Her back arched as she came instantly.
Ryder didn’t give way to her orgasm. He couldn’t. He thrust rapidly with all the strength he had. Over and over, he pounded into her body, taking everything she had to offer, unable to hold back a single thing. He wanted to give it all to her. All of him.
Her first orgasm gave way to a second, and he still rocked inside her, harder and harder. Darcy’s fingernails scored his back, the sting only driving him higher.
“Fuck, Darcy,” he groaned as his balls constricted. He was lost. Lost inside her, and he never, ever wanted to be found.
“Oh, oh, oh!” she panted, her third orgasm triggering his.
He clenched his eyes tightly as pleasure and pain mingled, became the same damn thing.
Ryder held himself over her for a full minute after his climax had passed, refusing to open his eyes, knowing he’d give too much away.
When he felt as if he could control his expression, he looked at her.
“You okay?” he asked, suddenly aware of just how roughly he’d taken her.
She nodded. “That was amazing. I think I’m starting to understand how people can become sex addicts.”
He chuckled, withdrawing and dropping next to her. Leave it to Darcy to find a way to make him laugh, even when he felt so raw inside.
Ryder slowly drew the plug out of her ass as she shuddered, still trying to come down from her orgasms.
He dropped the plug to the floor. He’d deal with that later. Right now, he was boneless, physically exhausted.
Darcy kissed his jaw sweetly.
“I want to take you out to dinner tomorrow night,” he said.
She lifted her head and smiled at him like he’d invited her to fly to Paris with him. “Okay. You still staying the night tonight?” she asked tentatively, clueing him in to the fact that he had a bad habit of pulling away after sex.
“Unless you want me to leave.”
“Hell no.” She wrapped herself around him, her arm around his waist, his chest serving as her pillow.
He closed his eyes, soaking up how good it felt to hold her in his arms like this. He lay there for a long time, relaxed, at peace, as Darcy slept.
He was just about to fall asleep himself when he heard her whisper, “I love you.”
Ryder didn’t move, didn’t respond. Hell, he wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
She’d obviously waited until she’d thought he was sleeping to say those three words.
Sleep deserted him.
She loved him.
And he loved her.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now?
Chapter Fifteen
“Hey, Darc. Over here.”
Darcy glanced across the pub and saw Oliver waving to her.
“Come meet some buddies of mine from work,” he said as she approached. She and Ryder were meeting here for a drink and then going to dinner later.
As far as she was concerned, their trial run had been over for weeks, and she planned to tell him that tonight. She wanted to say she was his girlfriend, and she wanted to scream it to the world.
Equal parts anxious and excited, she’d gotten ready early and decided to wait for him in the pub instead of upstairs.
Gavin wolf-whistled at her. “Somebody must have a hot date. You look awesome, Darcy.”
She hip-checked him appreciatively. “Thanks.”
She’d known Gavin nearly a decade, the man as much a cousin to her as her real cousins. Her uncles Sean and Chad and her aunt Lauren had taken in quite a few foster kids over the years, some remaining weeks, ot
hers months. Gavin had moved in when he was fifteen and stayed.
“So what are you guys up to?” she asked.
“We finished a big project today and we felt like celebrating,” Oliver explained. He and Gavin did construction for Uncle Killian and Uncle Justin, as well as Oliver’s dad, Sean. Darcy suspected that one day it would be Oliver and Gavin taking over the reins of J and K Construction when all of her uncles were ready to retire. “Let me introduce you.” Oliver pointed to the other three men standing at the bar with him. “This is Roger. And Deke. And that big guy next to you is Ron.”
Darcy shook hands with Roger and Deke, turning to smile at Ron. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Ron said. “Ollie says you’re an artist or something?”
“Graphic art,” she explained. “I let a computer do all the hard work for me. If I had to feed myself with my paintings or sketches, I’d starve.”
“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. I’m shit with computers,” Ron said affably. “I swear to God, machines hate me. I’ve gotten to the point where I just get my eleven-year-old to handle all the computer stuff.”
“Oh, kids are always the most tech-savvy ones in the room.”
“My daughter teases me about it all the time, but without her, I’d probably still be trying to figure out how to join Myspace.”
Darcy laughed. “Sounds like you’ve got a gr—”
Darcy broke off mid-sentence when two hands appeared in her peripheral vision, fists gripping Ron’s shirt and pulling him away from her.
She twisted just in time to see Ryder throw the mother of all punches, knocking Ron to the floor.
“What the f—” she started, but Ryder wasn’t looking at her, his focus solely on Ron.
“Stay the fuck away from her!” Ryder said hotly, bending over, ready to continue the fight. Oliver and Gavin rushed him, each taking an arm and pulling him away from Ron, who remained on the floor, his hands out in obvious surrender.
“Jesus, Ryder,” Oliver said. “Chill out, man. They were just talking.”
If Ryder heard Oliver, he gave no indication. He was still furious, staring Ron down, hard. “Stay away from her.”