How to be a Badass Witch

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How to be a Badass Witch Page 19

by Michael Anderle


  Or, as she had done earlier today, to ask for their help in figuring out what it was.

  As the chant reached its end, Kera quickly imposed a sharp mental limit on how much magic was to be worked: only enough to determine the nature and extent of the illness. There would be no healing yet, not until she had a clearer idea.

  The subtle tingling warmth and the vague sense that lights were glowing beneath her or in her peripheral vision came back, and a mental picture of the internal workings of the ravaged body before her took shape behind her eyes.

  The tumorous growth had indeed gone malignant and was spreading. She didn’t know enough about cancer to say whether it was terminal, but the picture that emerged was of a disease that was already serious and growing far worse. Mrs. Kim might have a chance, but only if something were done to stop the metastasis and soon.

  Kera took a moment to steady herself. A plan had formed in her head, and she nodded as she committed to it

  Okay, she reflected, the book said not to try to cure cancer. What it didn’t say was that it was impossible to cure cancer. In other words, it could be done; it was just a really bad idea for a novice, which she definitely was. Then again, she was not going to try to cure it per se. The goal was merely to weaken and delay it. To fortify Mrs. Kim until the treatments could do the rest of the work. She could manage that much, couldn’t she?

  Since Mrs. Kim had her eyes closed and might have slipped into unconsciousness again, Kera looked at Mr. Kim. “I, uh, I think I may be able to do a little something. Enough to ease her pain slightly and perhaps give her the strength she needs to fight it so it doesn’t spread. I’ve never done anything like this, but it’s worth a try. Might help her get through the next few months until she can get in for treatment.”

  Nothing she’d said was a lie or a distortion. Except that she intended to perform thaumaturgic witchcraft rather than reiki, it was a perfectly honest assessment.

  He nodded, and his eyes went past her. “Ye-Jin?”

  Kera looked back as Mrs. Kim opened her eyes again and gave a barely noticeable nod.

  Kera took a deep breath. She was going to do this, but she estimated that it would take far more energy than she’d ever expended before, including the surge she’d accidentally employed in taking care of Mr. Kim’s arthritis.

  I need to push back the cancerous cells or kill them while beefing up the healthy ones or convincing the body’s immune system to fight it. Something to that effect. Shit, I wish I’d read up on cancer, but I think I get the gist of it.

  She turned to Mr. Kim. “I’m going to need a bunch of food and drink. Stuff with lots of calories and energy. Fattening, sugary stuff. Maybe some caffeine, too. It will keep me awake and alert while I do this.”

  “Yes,” he said. “Sam and I will get you as much as you need. I will be right back.”

  The old man hurried out of the living room and down the stairs. As Kera listened to him leave, she placed her hands back on Mrs. Kim’s stomach, inhaled, and got to work.

  “Sam!” Mr. Kim barked as he hustled out of the back hallway into the space behind the counter.

  His son turned around, startled. “Uh, yes, Dad? What?”

  “We need to get some food for Kera. She said lots of calories and caffeine and energy. Anything that can make you fat, grab it and put it in a sack to take up to her. Are there any customers?”

  The boy glanced around the floor, then checked the security cameras just to be safe. “No, not at the moment.”

  “Okay. Close the store for a few minutes, then help me.”

  Sam rushed to the door to flip the Yes, We’re Open! sign around to the Sorry, We’re Closed side while his father unfolded a large paper bag and began stomping through the aisles, heading first for the candy, junk food, and sodas.

  Mr. Kim extended his arm and knocked multiple chocolate bars and bags of honey-roasted peanuts into the sack, then added some fattening-looking cheese and pretzel bites before going to the cooler and grabbing a couple cans of cola as well as two energy drinks.

  Sam came up behind him. “Uh, want me to hold that?”

  “No,” Mr. Kim chided him, “get your own sack, boy, and start packing up more food. The more calories, the better.”

  The younger Kim shrugged and did as he was told, grabbing the nearest bag and filling it with blocks of cheese, bottles of honey, and packaged muffins, especially the kind that were frosted or contained chocolate chips. Kera didn’t look like she ate much of this stuff, but he knew better than to argue when his father used that tone.

  Besides, his father looked hopeful for the first time since his parents had gotten back from the doctor that morning. They hadn’t told Sam what was going on, but he knew it was bad.

  He shook his head and tried to focus. “Hey, Dad!” he shouted. “According to this back label, this stuff has five hundred calories per serving. Is that going to be enough?”

  “Well,” Mr. Kim shot back, “how much is one serving?”

  Sam snapped his eyes back to the packaging. “Er, one cup.”

  “Ha!” His father scoffed. “Eight ounces. That’s less than sugar. Unacceptable!”

  “Okay,” Sam replied, tossing it aside and looking for something worse. “Wait, isn’t she also going to need vitamins? Like, uh, B-12, I think. There’s a couple of those that people need to stay alert and stuff.”

  Mr. Kim, who had nearly filled the bag with dry foods and beverages, was about to add a carton of ice cream when he stopped. “Ah, yes, true. We need stuff that is healthy and sugary.”

  Sam snapped his fingers. “Cereal! I’ll get a couple boxes.”

  “Good!” shouted his dad. “I will get the milk. Whole milk! The kind with all the fat!”

  The boy, nodding as he picked out a couple cartons of quasi-nutritious breakfast goods, was about to suggest chocolate milk instead, but he wondered if that might be overkill.

  Not wanting to waste time, Kera had initiated the enchantment while her host went to collect sustenance. She had considered that it might be better to eat first, but that could also make her overconfident about how much energy she had to spend.

  She hadn’t ever done something like this, and she was doing her best not to kill herself doing it.

  That meant she would start small. If even the earliest and most tentative healing efforts wiped her out, she would have learned an important lesson.

  Namely, that the task could not be done this way without killing herself.

  In which case she’d find another way, she promised silently. She was not going to let this family be destroyed.

  Kera concentrated and repeated the healing spell’s ritualistic chant over and over. Rather than try to channel all of the magical power involved at once, she repeatedly cast the same spell in the smallest quantities she could manage while making any difference.

  The room hummed and buzzed and glowed around her, or so it seemed, and the universe’s divine powers stayed by her side, working with her but extracting their toll. Each tiny cluster of cancer cells that she killed or immobilized, each section of healthy tissue she cleared of corruption and restored to full health, made her feel as though she’d skipped a meal and tried to run a couple of miles on an empty stomach.

  Her consciousness and attention wavered. It was the way she felt at the end of a long, hard workday, and she’d been at it for mere minutes. Not eating before starting had been a mistake.

  Kera wondered if this was how diabetics felt when they were about to slip into a coma.

  She paused in her medical efforts, noting that Mrs. Kim was unconscious. It was impossible to tell how the older woman was feeling.

  Kera realized she’d need other forms of magic to bolster herself. She recalled a simple wake-up spell that, according to the book, had a similar effect on the brain as a cup of coffee or a shot of espresso. The authors had also mentioned some other substance but refused to identify it for legal reasons.

  “Okay,” the girl breathed, “here goes.”


  She closed her eyes, twisted her fingers around her temples, and spoke the brief string of words. Instantly it was as though a bright light erupted within her mind, and she went back to her tasks feeling vastly more alert but also strung out. Her hands shook as they passed over Mrs. Kim’s abdomen.

  She lost track of time. It couldn’t have been that long before Mr. Kim and Sam returned with provisions, but it felt as though it had been hours.

  “Kera,” the old man announced, “we brought you enough fattening and sweet food to send a diabetic into a coma. This should help. Would you like a bowl of cereal?”

  Sam set a bag down next to her, and she glanced into it. “Oh, wow!” she exclaimed, trying not to giggle stupidly, “Red Bull! I haven’t had that crap since the last time I did Jaeger Bombs. Fuck, I love those things. That was during Spring Break in 2019, which I really shouldn’t have gone on instead of studying, but you know how college kids are, and my friends basically peer-pressured me into it anyway, which was really funny since I technically couldn’t legally drink at the time, not like anyone gave a shit, ha-ha.” She shut her mouth, realizing that she was babbling. “But yeah, this all looks great! Goddamn, I’m hungry. And thirsty!”

  The words came out of her mouth so fast she was amazed she didn’t misspeak. Her trembling hand shot out and snatched one of the energy drinks, cracked it open, and brought it to her lips with feverish haste.

  Mr. Kim stared at her wide-eyed. “Uh, are you sure you need that? Did you eat something before we came here? You did not, um,” he coughed, “go into my bathroom with a razor blade and a small mirror, did you?”

  Kera gave a laugh that was tinged with hysteria. “Nope, promise. Just…a little overtired.” She had to admit, the question was warranted.

  Mr. Kim waved his hand and dismissed Sam, who headed back downstairs to reopen the store and man the register.

  The old man waited by her side, watching with concern as Kera replicated the process of healing his wife a little bit at a time, taking short breaks after each brief session to scarf a bowl of sugary cereal, a peanut butter and honey sandwich, a couple bags of snacks laden with orange cheese-like substance, and greasy muffins.

  Each time she went back, she could see progress.

  I think it’s working! Kera could hardly contain her excitement, her brain blazing and reeling as it rode the energy rollercoaster, its functionality plummeting with each re-casting of the spell and then blasting back upward as she devoured junk and washed it down with caffeine. I’m cutting the tumor off. The bastard isn’t going to get bigger anytime soon. Hah!

  “Okay,” she gasped as the process reached its end, “believe it or not, I think I might have improved things a little for your wife.” She paused to down a candy bar filled with nuts and caramel, trying not to unhinge her jaw like a snake. “Wasn’t easy, but I suspect I slowed the metastasis down, and she won’t have as much pain.”

  Mr. Kim came up beside her and gazed at his spouse, his jaw slack. “Her skin looks better. Not so unhealthy. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but your reiki worked so good on my hands that I believe you did help. If that is true...” His mouth trembled, and he turned away.

  To give him privacy, Kera rustled loudly through snacks and ate two more candy bars.

  “Kera.”

  She looked up and swallowed a giant mouthful of honey-roasted peanuts.

  Luckily, Mr. Kim didn’t notice her disheveled chipmunk-like appearance. He was smiling. “I can’t thank you enough,” he said quietly.

  Kera shook her head. Her head was swimming, but she was sure she just needed a bit more candy. “Thanks.”

  Wait, was she supposed to say that? Or…

  She was still considering it when she passed out.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  She had no idea how much time passed before she awoke to the sound of her phone beeping and Mr. Kim shaking her shoulders.

  “Kera! Your boss tried to call. That man ‘Seven’ from the bar, he is your boss, right? That’s what your phone said.”

  She groaned and straightened herself. “It’s pronounced like ‘Kevin,’ but yeah. Wait, what time is it? Shit! Sorry for my language, Mr. Kim, it’s just…”

  Just that it was 3:27, and she was half an hour late for work.

  The girl sprang to her feet, wobbling and holding her head, as Mr. Kim came up beside her to take her arm and steady her.

  “I am so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know you worked tonight, or I would have gotten you up. You slept for about an hour and a half, and I thought I should let you rest. My wife is sleeping also. She seems much more peaceful.”

  Kera’s thoughts crashed into each other within her skull, and she tried to impose order on them and get herself thinking rationally again like a good computer science major.

  “Uh, yes. Okay. Thanks. Sorry.” She winced at how stupid she sounded right now. “Could I have a cup of coffee or something? And I’ll need a ride back home. My place is on the way to the Mermaid anyway, and I need to grab some things. Cevin isn’t going to be happy.” She did a double-take at the look on the man’s face. “But it was worth it to help your wife,” she assured him.

  She just needed to get a handle on herself so she didn’t tell Cevin to stuff it. “I’m so sorry” would probably be better.

  Mr. Kim helped her downstairs and had Sam fetch her a tall, steaming cup from the coffee station, which he brought down to a drinkable temperature by adding ice from the soda machine. Kera accepted it, thanked him, and gulped down half the cup as quickly as possible.

  “Come,” said the old man. “I can take you home right now. I will let you know tomorrow how Ye-Jin is. Even if nothing changed inside her, I think it did her good to see you again.”

  As they drove back to the warehouse, Kera felt normal mental function return, partly because her brief sleep was departing, partly thanks to the extra caffeine. Still, that dogged and oppressive sense of tiredness hung over her.

  Work was not going to be fun.

  Mr. Kim waited outside the warehouse while Kera hurriedly got ready for work. As she threw on her leathers, backpack, and helmet, the old man knocked on her front door.

  She opened it for him.

  “Will you be okay to drive yourself?” he asked. “I can give you a ride, but you may have to get a co-worker to bring you home at the end of the night.”

  She waved a hand. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” Changing and getting ready for work had shown her that she had the balance and reflexes to handle Zee. “Thanks, though. I appreciate the offer.”

  He nodded and gave her a subtle yet warm smile. “You are very welcome. It’s the least I can do. Take care.”

  Kera gave him a hug and wished him farewell. A minute after his car departed, she buzzed down the road in the opposite direction astride Zee.

  Oh, man, she moaned to herself, maybe I should have let him drive me to the bar, after all. I think I’m okay for now, but how the hell will I be at 2 am?

  While she rode down the streets, she cast another wakefulness spell on herself, followed by a luck spell, hoping it would last through the whole evening.

  Of course, the good part is that I’m over an hour late, so my shift will be that much shorter. Har, har. Small comfort when Cevin is probably going to chew my ass out over this.

  She didn’t think he’d fire her, but there was no way to be sure.

  Maybe I’ll get a different job after all, Mom.

  She felt better by a small margin as she parked and locked her bike and swung through the back door. Riding Zee through the breeze had refreshed her in a way nothing else could.

  Cevin said nothing as she rushed to punch in. He was glowering in an unpleasant way but seemed satisfied for the moment with her being present.

  Of course, with the other employees, it was another story. She still had a tremble in her hands, and while she had managed to replace some of her energy by eating all that food, neither the process nor the food had been good for her.
Her coworkers noticed.

  “So, who’s Mr. Right? Or should I say, Mr. Right Now? Ha-ha.”

  “What’d you take, Kera? Couldn’t have been legal if it was that good.”

  “You know, I thought about taking a day off once too. Then I grew up and got a job. Still, last night must have been tons of fun, am I right?”

  All the sorts of comments she expected and was in no particular mood or condition to deal with. She grimaced, pretended to smile, told people to shut up in a half-serious tone, and gritted her teeth whenever no one was looking.

  It’s going to be a long, long night, she surmised. And if Chris comes back, it’ll be at the worst possible time. Dammit.

  Stephanie was less obnoxious than the others, though given her curious nature, she was obviously waiting for a big revelation as to what the hell had broken Kera’s perfect attendance record. She took her break before Kera did, and when she returned, she brought her friend another cup of coffee from a nearby drive-through.

  “Thanks, Stephanie,” Kera said gratefully. “It’s been a while since I’ve needed this much coffee.”

  The other woman laughed. “Oh, I noticed. Never seen you drink it before. When the time’s right, of course, we all want to hear the story.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” Kera grumbled. She didn’t feel like telling the story yet. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.

  A patron came up to the bar, and she set her paper cup down on the back counter to serve him his drink. He must have noticed that she looked tired and crabby since he politely stuck to ordering his beverage and didn’t try to converse or flirt.

  Fortunately, Chris never showed up.

  The night dragged to a close, with Kera wondering how she was still standing as the bar announced last call and the final customers filtered out into the street.

  Cevin approached her. “You can’t drive like this,” he stated, looking her over.

 

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