by Parker, Ali
"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry I don't have more to give you. If only I'd been a stronger woman when your dad put us through all that shit."
"I don't want to talk about this." Bethany dropped the napkin in her lap, her emotions pressing hard against the confines of her chest. "I have one more year of school and need help. You're going to marry Kent anyway. I'm just asking that you move it up and do it in the next month, Mom. Please."
Her mom bit at her lip, looking up and thanking the server as he put their lunch down in front of them. Bethany constrained herself as the steam rose up from the small cup before her. She could have ordered more, but she knew her mom was broke and struggling as well. The older woman in front of her hid her own suffering, and internal strife as well as Bethany did. No one knew how much they'd been through and how they continued to persevere.
"Let's pray over our food." Her mom bowed her head and prayed, Bethany closing her eyes and listening to her mom ask God for the millionth time to help them. He’d seemed to turn a blind eye or deaf ear to them for all the years Bethany could remember, but six months ago he had delivered Kent into her mom's life.
Kent owned several companies and had been a widower for ten years. He was older than her mom and had two sons, one a complete loser and the other the center of his enterprise in the heart of downtown Dallas. Bethany had yet to meet either of them, but she liked Kent and knew he would treat her mother like a princess.
If only the woman could get past being hurt and used by Bethany's father, giving love another chance and opening up a world of possibilities for them both.
"Kent would be thrilled to hear I'm ready to move forward, I guess." Her mom's words lit a spark of hope in Bethany’s chest as she looked up.
"He loves you, Mom. He's told you that a million times."
"I know, and I love him too. I'm just a little worried about fitting into his world. I come from the wrong side of the tracks, Bethany. His friends and work associates are going to see beneath my layers of makeup and call me out as the phony I am."
"You're not a phony. You're the most real person I know, Mom." Bethany reached around her soup to touch her mom's arm, concern pulling her brow together. "You just need to be yourself and not anyone else. You can't change for someone, or you'll end up hating who you've become."
"How did you get so wise?" Her mom winked at her, patted her hand and picked up her spoon, taking a tentative sip of her own soup.
"So, you'll think about it? I'm on a short leash, and I'll start looking for jobs this afternoon, but I need help quickly."
"Wait until Monday for the job thing. You're graduating tomorrow, and I want you to just enjoy the accomplishment." She put her spoon down and picked up the last piece of bread, tearing it in half and handing the larger piece to Bethany. "I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom. I’m sorry to bother you with this. If I could figure it out on my own, I would.”
“We will always have each other. I’ll talk to Kent tonight about everything. When he proposed a few weeks back, I wanted to say yes, but I just haven't been able to move around my past. He's so much better than I am." Her mom shrugged, heaviness sitting on her pretty features.
Bethany reached up and pulled her long locks into a messy bun before scoffing at her mother.
"He's not better than you. He's had a different path, Mom. His life is a different story. I'm just glad that your path crossed with his. He's going to be great for you. He thinks you hung the moon."
"He is a great guy." Blush touched her mother's cheeks, and Bethany laughed softly, romance a lofty thought in her world.
Bethany had seen the same guy, Jake, a few times, but he was horribly proper and far too feminine for her tastes. He was easy to get along with and a great study partner, but as far as physical attraction—nothing.
"Is Kent coming with you to my graduation tomorrow?"
"He sure is. I invited Damon and Matthew, his boys, but they both have something to do. I was hoping for you to meet Matthew. He's a sad soul with far too many demons to fight, but a pure heart lies in his chest."
"And what about the other boy, Damon?"
"Honestly, he's an ass. He's the typical rich boy, and he has far too much control of Kent's company and ten women around him at all times. I hate to even say this, but he sometimes disgusts me." Her mother's face twisted as if she’d bit into a lemon. Bethany laughed and leaned over, tasting her cooling soup.
"Money corrupts. I'm surprised Kent is as good of a guy as he is. He has more money than God."
Her mom laughed and took one more sip of her soup before pushing it across the table to Bethany, the small cup still more than half-full. Bethany pulled it toward her, working hard not to lift her cup to her lips and drink the thick tomato soup.
"Get yourself a sandwich or something. I have a little bit of money in the bank." Her mother turned as if trying to get the waiter's attention.
Bethany reached over and patted the table in front of her. "I'm good. I'll eat this and be stuffed. We'll make it through this; we will. Tomorrow will be a great day, and if your conversation goes well with Kent, then maybe my luck will change for good." She pinched off a piece of the bread and popped it in her mouth. "You sure I'm not pushing you to do something you didn't want to do?"
"Have you ever known me to do something I didn't want to do?" Her mother smirked as the waiter stopped by with the bill.
"They must have higher-paying customers waiting on our seats." Bethany looked over to the large crowd gathering at the door.
"Pretty soon that will be us, baby. Hang in there, and I'll work to change our situation."
"You do love him, right?"
"I do, but not as much as I love you."
Bethany chuckled and turned her attention to her food, mumbling into the small cup, "I love you too."
Chapter 2
Bethany
She'd enjoyed the time with her mother, the older woman a beautiful reminder that hope and love could actually exist.
Bethany climbed into her small, beat-up Honda after kissing her mom goodbye and getting excited about her upcoming graduation. She still hadn't let the fact that she would be graduating with her bachelor’s in accounting sink in. It was a huge accomplishment in itself—and even more so since she was the first in her family to do so.
The rest of the afternoon was to be spent with a few friends, her roommate, Krista, and the closest thing she had to a boyfriend, Jake. It would be comfortable and mostly uneventful, but she'd grown accustomed to moving through life as quickly as possible, her focus only on the future.
Bethany pulled up to their small apartment as Krista and Jake walked from the door toward Krista's car, smiles on their faces as Bethany got out.
"Hey, guys. What's up?"
"Just getting some snacks and sodas from Krista's car. Come help us." Jake motioned for her to come over. "You get to see your mom?"
"Yeah, she's doing good. Looking at marrying that rich guy, finally." Bethany laughed, leaving out the parts she felt were less than appropriate to draw attention to.
"Oh, nice. I wish my parents were rich. I mean, they're middle class and all." Krista shrugged, pulling her keys from her pocket and popping the trunk.
Krista’s short blonde hair and blue eyes were the exact opposite of Bethany's dark features. Where Bethany was fit and ran most days of the week, Krista was a couch potato and struggled with her weight horribly. Bethany had tried time and time again to get her friend to join her on her runs, but the extra eighty or so pounds on Krista made it hard for her to do anything.
Her roommate was one of the nicest people she knew, Krista always buying lunch for the homeless guy down the street and tutoring at school. Bethany wondered how fate seemed to shine down on the wrong people all the time. Her mother had mentioned Damon, one of Kent's sons, at lunch, and it was the perfect example of fate's inequitable responses. The guy was probably good looking and rich but a complete ass.
"What are you thinking about?" Jake
's voice brought her from her senses, the lanky boy before her extending a few plastic grocery bags. "Are you already dreaming of your master’s? Brainiac."
Bethany smiled and took the bags, the sun starting to set as the afternoon drew to a close. She couldn't wait until Saturday, the week having lasted far too long.
"No. I was thinking about how unfair it is that some people have looks and money. One or the other is enough, don't you think?" Bethany turned to walk with her friends back toward the apartment.
"I'm guessing you're broke, then?" Krista laughed and moved back to let Jake open the door.
"I've always been poor, but I'm just making reference to my soon-to-be stepbrother. Mom says he's an ass, and I'm sure he's good looking and all. Just seems unfair." Bethany shrugged, walking into the coolness of the house and putting the bags on the kitchen counter.
"His good looks would be no concern of yours, then." Jake wagged his eyebrow.
"Jealous, Jake?" Bethany moved to stand in front of him, looking up as he took a tentative step back, his smile dropping.
"No, why would I be? He's your stepbrother. Not like you guys would get together." He laughed and turned to busy himself with putting things up. Bethany turned to Krista and rolled her eyes. She and Jake had known each other for the last year, but they were nothing more than glorified friends.
She'd kissed him a few times, but even drunk he would shake like a leaf when she tried. She’d heard plenty of stories of other girls on campus enjoying long weekends filled with liquor and sex. Somehow she never seemed to get close to the second half of the fun. She wasn't willing to go out with a player, their sexually transmitted diseases of no interest to her. She had been asked out on more than a few occasions, but after so many rejections, the alpha males on campus moved to more susceptible victims.
Bethany walked to her room and closed the door before undressing. She wanted to push Jake a little that night, to see if he’d be willing to go further. She had slept around a little in high school and had a few random one-night stands during her freshman year, but human anatomy class had killed all of that for her. Dying with crotch rot was out.
She smirked at the thought, reaching for her brush and pulling her hair down to try and tame it. She pulled it into a high ponytail and slipped into a small, cream-colored cotton dress; her waist was thin, and her breasts were big enough to draw attention, hopefully from Jake.
A little bit of makeup and lip gloss, and she was ready to make her move. She walked back down the hall, the sound of a few familiar voices reaching out to greet her. They would have enough friends to spill out into the lawn of the apartment by the time nightfall arrived, but for now, a small group gathered in the kitchen.
Bethany walked in and headed for the chips, taking a few and munching on them as she greeted her friends. Jake turned and smiled at her, motioning that she looked pretty.
He wasn't her type at all, his long blond hair always in his face and his body nothing more than bones, but he was safe. She wouldn't be falling in love with him anytime soon, and he wouldn't be falling for her either. Nothing more than a good friendship existed between them, and yet she was ready for something more physical in her life. Jake seemed the perfect candidate. Surely he wanted sex, and friends with benefits seemed fitting.
"Don't you look lovely?" Marcus, a dark-skinned marketing major, reached out and tugged on Bethany's ponytail, his smile wide and welcoming.
"Well, thank you, sir. You don't look too shabby yourself." She reached out and patted his stomach with the back of her hand. His firm abs tightened under her touch. "Dang. You've been working out."
"Swimming actually. Did you know they opened the natatorium at the school finally?"
"I've heard that, but I haven't been over there."
"Too busy making valedictorian?" He laughed, and she shook her head as Jake moved up beside her.
She reached over and wrapped an arm around Jake’s lower back, the tall skinny guy towering over her by a foot.
"I wish. I'm just trying to get enough in grant money to get through my MBA degree."
"You'll do great. You always do," Jake said, looking down as he wrapped an arm around the back of Bethany’s shoulders.
Marcus pointed at both of them, an eyebrow lifting.
“You two finally get together?”
“No, we’re just good friends. She’s way out of my league.” Jake laughed and released Bethany, much to her dismay. "You guys want a drink?"
"Naw … I'm trying out for the soccer team on Saturday. They do drug testing." Marcus held up his hands, shaking his head.
"Alcohol isn't a drug." Jake laughed and looked to Bethany, who almost corrected him but decided against it. "Beth?"
"Yeah, I'll take a beer and a shot please."
"Getting the party started, I see." Jake laughed and walked off, Bethany's gaze following him. Nothing about his physique turned her on, his lithe figure the opposite of her desires.
Strong muscles and thick arms and legs were at the center of her daydreams, but with those things, it seemed, came an asshole attitude and demanding persona, neither of which she'd be willing to deal with.
"Just friends, huh?" Marcus's question brought her back to the present.
"Me and Jake? Oh yeah. School will be over next year for us both, and we haven’t really been anything but friends."
"Yeah, but I see the way you watch him." Marcus smirked.
Bethany turned to see Jake in the kitchen, laughing and cutting up with a few friends as he poured drinks. He was cute but not handsome. Kind but not sexy or masculine at all. She could settle for someone like him, but it seemed like such a waste to do so.
"He's a great guy. Who knows what will happen." She looked back to Marcus and shrugged.
The night pulled in across the sky, her friends filling up the house and the yard in front of the apartments. Other groups of students had joined the festivities, the music nothing more than a low hum as everyone gathered in small huddles and talked about the excitement of graduation.
Bethany walked back into the house, a light sweat covering her skin from the alcohol she'd enjoyed. She sat her empty beer bottle down on the kitchen table and walked toward the kitchen. Jake was standing with his back to her as he fiddled with something.
She pressed herself to his back, sliding her hands around his waist and up to his chest; his muscles were nonexistent, and yet the warmth of another human seemed fitting. She pressed her lips to his T-shirt as he turned a little, looking over his shoulder at her.
"You’ve had too much to drink, silly girl?"
"Mmmhmmm," she mumbled and bit at his T-shirt, pulling back and letting it pop from her teeth.
He turned in her grasp and put his arms around her, holding her tightly to him as he smiled down at her. "You should be careful. Some boy will be looking to take advantage of your current state."
"Like you?" She laughed, reaching up and pulling his head toward her as she pressed her lips to his, the fire in her blood from the liquor beckoning her to push him past his sense of comfort.
He pulled back slowly, the kiss being broken far too quickly for her. He laughed awkwardly and put his hands on her shoulders, turning them and backing up a step.
"You know I would never take advantage of you." He smirked and moved back to finish filling up a small bowl of chips. She leaned against the counter and reached in front of him.
"And why not? What if I wanted you to take advantage of me? Take me in my bedroom and strip me naked before—"
He cut her off, his eyes wide, his face flushed.
"Bethany. You're drunk. Stop talking like that before someone hears you."
She laughed, looking over her shoulder and yelling. "I'm drunk and want to get laid. Who's with me?"
The sound of different voices yelling in agreement caused her to laugh, but her smile fell as she looked back toward Jake. The pensive stare on his face sobered her quickly. He wasn't interested, nor was he approving of her actions.
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br /> "This isn't you. It's the liquor. Go take a shower, and I'll shut down the party and lock up in just a bit."
Heat burned her cheeks at his rejection. She wasn't his type, or perhaps he thought she was too far out of his league. She leaned toward him as anger bit at her, her hand siding down his chest to cup his crotch. His arousal told her that it must have been the latter. He jerked back away from her touch, and she shrugged.
"Yep. I guess the liquor got you too."
She moved down the hall, pulling her dress over her head and walking languidly toward the shower, her small pink panties matching her bra perfectly. Too bad no one was interested in seeing it—least of all her good friend.
Chapter 3
Bethany
The morning sun streamed through the small window of her bedroom, the brightness stinging her eyes and turning up her headache. Why had she let herself drink the night before? She rarely drank, and she blamed that on how she felt the morning after she did. Nothing was worse than being debilitated for a whole day simply because you sated yourself with an evening of fun.
The smell of bacon wafted into her room, her stomach turning at the idea of food. They rarely cooked around the apartment, but the weekend was to be filled with friends, family, and good food. Bethany rolled over and groaned, the memory of offending Jake the night before assaulting her.
Why hadn’t she just offered herself to one of the assholes from Kappa Alpha? There had been more than enough of them at the party. Sleeping with Jake had seemed like a good idea before she walked into the kitchen and pushed him a little too far. She covered her eyes with the palms of her hands pressing against the pain a little and groaning.
"Fucking hormones. I swear."
A knock at her door had her reaching for her covers, pulling them up to her chin before whispering, "Come in."
The door opened, and Krista stuck her head in. "You decent?"