by Jenny Lee
Natalia had just gotten a new job working at a discount tire store, so Kimmie didn’t want to bother her at work. She knew they left the sliding back door unlocked as Natalia was always losing her house keys. Kimmie’s plan was to drop the jacket off in their bedroom with a note and her phone number. She didn’t want to be so presumptuous to think that Natalie and Nick would drop their own plans to hang out with her at the airport, especially since the two of them threw her a surprise farewell dinner at their apartment the night before. Nick had made these amazing tacos (though he weirdly didn’t eat any himself) and Natalia made them fun cocktails out of Hawaiian Punch, Red Bull, and wine coolers. Kimmie was surprised about the wine cooler part because they weren’t supposed to drink. But Kimmie didn’t say anything about it, and neither did they.
Kimmie had just left Natalia’s jacket on the bed and tucked the letter into the pocket when she heard Nick shouting from the living room. Panicked, Kimmie ran to the closet to hide. After a few more seconds, Kimmie realized it wasn’t Nick and Natalia fighting but Nick and someone else, a man, someone older.
The walls were thin and cheap, and Kimmie could hear pretty much everything they were saying. Listening, she put together that the second voice was Nick’s father. Now she knew why Nick drove such an expensive dad car: he had stolen his dad’s and driven it across the country. Nick kept shouting for his dad to take the damn car, that he didn’t need it anyway. His dad asked if he even had a job. Yes. Was he using drugs? No. And who’s this girl, Natasha? Natalia, and there’s no way I’m leaving the love of my life to go back to New York when there’s nothing for me there.
New York? Kimmie thought. Nick never once mentioned he had lived there. Nick’s father told him the only thing he should be focused on right now was his sobriety. Nick swore over and over he wasn’t doing drugs, but his father must have found the wine cooler bottles in the kitchen because now they were fighting about that. The whole thing was awful and Kimmie was desperate to leave, but she knew she had no choice other than to wait it out. She tried to stop listening to them and think about something else, but it was hard to do so. Nick’s father kept saying he was done, and that if Nicholas didn’t come back with him now, he was going to wash his hands of him, that he could forget about calling for money or asking for help ever again. Nick told his father to fuck off, which was when Nick’s father really lost it and screamed at him that his last stint in rehab had cost one hundred thousand dollars that came out of his brother Dustin’s college fund, and “Do you know why?” he asked Nicholas, his voice nearly cracking. “Because your younger brother loves you, Nicholas. Dustin loves you so much that he’d rather waste his money trying to save you than go to college for free!”
Not only did this news shut Nick up, it made Kimmie gasp loud enough that she had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep herself quiet. Nick is Dustin’s older brother, Nicholas!
This revelation rocked Kimmie so hard, she knew she couldn’t wait around to see what happened. She needed to get out right now. She crawled out of the closet, opened the window in the bedroom, kicked out the screen, and climbed out. Her feet hit the pavement of the driveway and she took off running. And she didn’t look back.
X
When Anna arrived at the annual Greenwich Ride for Charity horse event and heard from Murf that Vronsky had signed up to be one of the Staugas Farms riders, she assumed he was joking. Vronsky had met her at their apple tree after her last three lessons, but four horse rides through a flat grassy field hardly made him qualified to race against riders who had been training for the event for months.
“It’s crazy. He can’t do it.” Anna looked at Murf, who was trying his best to fix a lopsided bow tied to the side of the metal bleachers. She nudged him out of the way and retied the blue satin ribbon perfectly.
“That’s what I told him!” Murf said. “And he’s not doing the track, oh no, not that crazy white boy. He had to be a baller and sign up for the timber race.”
Anna was shocked to hear this. Timber racing was the American version of the steeplechase, which was a very rigorous and dangerous sport that had been going on for the last one hundred years, though it originated and was far more well-known in Ireland and the UK. The Maryland Hunt Cup was basically the Super Bowl of the sport and consisted of a four-mile course with twenty-two hurdles (fences usually made of timber) in varying heights, the highest being five feet. But this timber race was a much smaller event that was held annually in Greenwich to raise money for the children’s hospital. It was a quarter the length with only seven hurdles, the highest being two and a half feet. It was designed with teen riders in mind, but still, every year someone seemed to get hurt.
Anna’s overprotective father had barred her from participating in the Greenwich event, saying it was ridiculous that any idiot could sign up and that most accidents happened not because of trained equestrians like Anna, but because stupid boys were looking to impress long-lashed girls. Anna was so upset over the news that she phoned Vronsky, something she had never done before. Their only form of communication remained texting via Words with Friends, though Vronsky often joked about buying them burner phones.
Vronsky didn’t answer her call, which annoyed Anna, and even though she wanted to leave a message urging him to pull out of the race, saying his horse would have to jump over her dead body if that’s what he intended to do, she refrained. Instead she hung up the phone and deleted the call record from her phone. She thought about changing Vronsky’s name in her contacts to something else, but that made her think of her brother and the infamous “Brad,” so she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not knowing what else to do, she opened up the WWF game and texted him that he needed to call her immediately. She then asked Murf if he wouldn’t mind finding him for her, but when he asked where he should tell Vronsky to meet her, she had no answer. Everyone attending the event knew who she was, which meant everyone also knew that she was Alexander’s girlfriend, which meant that she couldn’t be seen with Vronsky without arousing suspicion.
Now what am I going to do? she thought. This is what you get for lying. Anna knew she was having a full-fledged affair behind her boyfriend’s back, but she continually justified it by telling herself she was going to break up with Alexander as soon as he was off bed rest, less than a month away.
She had often chastised herself for not telling Vronsky they had to wait. But every time she thought about nixing the affair she found herself unable to. The flame of their desire wasn’t that easy to extinguish, like a trick candle that couldn’t be blown out.
She believed with all her heart that the reason they were having such incredible sex was because they were so madly in love. It was as if the chemistry between them needed to be mixed and compounded, lest it settle and turn toxic. She had never felt so alive and happy as when she was wrapped in Vronsky’s arms. If there was any downside at all, it was the fact that the more they hooked up, the more they wanted it, as though they were junkies for each other. Every morning when she reached for her phone and checked WWF for messages, she’d see his text: Good morning, gorgeous! I want you, I want you, I want you. Vronsky was careful never to speak of his past with other girls, but he told Anna, in no uncertain terms, that what was happening between them was like nothing he had ever experienced before. These were no lines that Vronsky was feeding her. It was true—his love for Anna was unprecedented.
Since their first time at her house, they’d managed to see each other almost every single day, even if it was only for an hour in the early morning before school. Vronsky had taken to sleeping over at Beatrice’s house, heading back into Manhattan on his bike after seeing her, while Anna was telling her mom she was going to school extra early to catch up on the homework. She’d swing by and pick him up at the end of Beatrice’s long driveway. Since they couldn’t be seen in public they drove around Greenwich looking for a secluded place to park.
The first time, they parked in the back of a church, which Anna wasn’t thrilled with, but
she soon forgot where she was when Vronsky’s hand slipped down her jeans. Yesterday Anna picked him up and they ended up pulling into an underground parking lot, driving down to the lowest level where she climbed across the gearshift before the headlights had even turned off. She’d planned better this time by wearing a skirt. Anna confessed she had never in her life walked out of the house without underwear on, explaining she had a clean pair stuffed in her backpack.
The fact that Anna wanted him so badly filled Vronsky with a lust he couldn’t hold back. Normally he’d have been mortified at being what his friends would call a one-pump-chump, but Anna found his inability to control himself intoxicating. And because of his age it didn’t even matter. She would just stay on top of him and in a few minutes, he’d grow hard again inside her, the second round lasting much longer than the first. Loving the exquisite torture of riding him slowly, she would try to hold out for as long as she could, but she often found herself crying out his name sooner rather than later. They went three rounds and Anna ended up late for Latin. Coitus, coituum, coitibus …
“Anna, stop checking your phone,” Beatrice said, with a sly smile. “If I had known that being all ooey-gooey-lovey-dovey would make me look as dreamy as you, I’d have tried it long ago.”
They were sitting together in the bleachers set up for spectators of the timber race, which was due to start any minute now. Anna flushed with embarrassment at Bea’s words. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I just don’t know why he hasn’t texted me back. Don’t you think he’s crazy for entering the timber race?”
“Don’t fret, my pet,” Beatrice said. “My cousin was quite the jumper back in the day. His mother always says that his instructor told her Alexia had the confidence and talents of a future Olympian. Now if this were a motorcycle race, I’d be nervous. Sure, he’s crazy for entering, but he’s always been an adrenaline junkie. If we should worry about anything it should be for my mother’s quarter horse. Vronsky’s in it to win it, and he’s gonna ride Frou Frou harder than she’s used to. But I’m sure you know all about that … when it comes to V.”
Anna tried not to react to Bea’s comment, which was a little too sharply pointed for her taste. Perhaps Bea didn’t even realize she was being prickly with her. She was probably feeling a bit jealous of Anna’s happy glow. Vronsky had told her on the DL that Bea’s secret love affair with Dahlia, the circus girl from her costume party, had ended abruptly, when after a night of clubbing in the city she found Dahlia showing off her acrobatic skill set to Bea’s stepbrother, Royce, whose apartment they had crashed at the night before. Bea didn’t take it well, and Dahlia was kicked out onto the streets of SoHo, Porky Pigging it with only one shoe.
Without giving away what she knew, Anna grabbed Bea’s hand and said, “I’m so happy we get to spend the day together. I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA lately, but please know I’m so grateful for all your help with … well, you know.”
Beatrice, happy at the show of gratitude that she felt she deserved, smiled at Anna. “Aww, you’re such a doll. I’d do anything for V. If he’s happy then so am I.” Bea hugged Anna, but when she pulled back her smile was gone, replaced by a frown. “Well, so much for our funderful day,” she muttered. “Don’t look now, but you’ve got double trouble at six o’clock.”
Anna waited for a moment and then slowly turned her head to look behind her. Her heart clunked like a clock striking midnight, signaling the end of Cinderella’s magical evening. Eleanor, in a ridiculous pink hat, was pushing Alexander in a wheelchair. As wheelchairs were not designed for grass, it was a pathetic sight to see. Everyone in town had heard about Alexander’s accident, and soon there was a large crowd rushing to their aid. Moments later a few of the larger men in attendance were carrying Alexander across the field like he was a king.
A warning horn sounded, and for a split second Anna wondered if she’d imagined it, but then realized it was a man using an air horn to signal that the race was beginning in ten minutes.
Anna’s phone vibrated with a text from Murf. Anna, I told him you didn’t want him to race, but he said that you shouldn’t worry about him. And I quote, “’cause I got this” and he wanted you to know
She stared at the incomplete message bubble, waiting for the rest, but nothing came. She texted back, Know what? What did he want me to know????? Bubbles appeared and Anna wanted to shake her phone as if that would do anything. While she waited she used her binoculars to watch the starting line, and she spotted Vronsky mounted atop Beatrice’s mother’s horse Frou Frou, trying to steady himself in the saddle. Oh, my baby, she thought, why, oh why are you doing this?
Anna’s phone vibrated and she saw Murf’s text. Sorry, dropped my phone! He wanted you to know he’s gonna get you that trophy! *black thumbs-up emoji* *black bicep muscle emoji* *trophy emoji*
XI
Not wanting to leave her seat next to Beatrice, Anna pretended for as long as she could that she hadn’t seen Alexander’s arrival. She stared out onto the field with her binoculars, hoping that the race would start and she could go deal with him afterward. It seemed like some draconian form of punishment that she would be expected to tend to her boyfriend-in-name-only while her true love was about to try and clear seven hurdles on an unfamiliar horse.
She grabbed Bea’s hand and gave it a nervous squeeze.
“Just breathe,” Bea whispered to her friend. “Adaka’s little brother is competing today and he’s only eleven. Vronsky’ll be fine.” Bea sat contentedly, relishing the tension of the moment, always composed in high stress situations.
Anna lowered her binoculars and saw her brother standing in front of the bleachers. She wanted to signal him that danger was nearby, but before she could, she watched as Lolly rushed over and whispered something in his ear. Anna could tell by Steven’s face that Lolly had just informed him that Alexander and Eleanor were in attendance. He looked up at Anna and she gave a quick nod to tell him she knew. Steven grabbed Lolly’s hand, and the two of them started making their way into the bleachers. They only made it up two steps before Eleanor was behind them, tapping Lolly on her back. Poor Lolly had no choice but to turn around and play nice. Anna lowered her binoculars and put on her sunglasses, thankful it was a sunny day and no one would be able to make eye contact through her Oliver Peoples Benedict aviators.
Lolly pointed up at Anna and Beatrice, and Eleanor waved up at them enthusiastically. “Anna!” she yelled out, her high-pitched voice an arrow shooting straight through Anna’s nerves. “Come down! Alexander’s here.”
“Do you think I can pretend I didn’t hear her?” Anna asked through gritted teeth, trying to wave Eleanor to come up to them.
“Sorry, babe,” Bea replied. “I think you have to go down there because I’m not gonna sit next to that dumb thot with a hat.”
Anna knew Bea was right. The crowd waited for her to make a move. She stood up and began to make her way down. When she passed Steven and Lolly, she offered them her seat, and Steven gave her hand a quick sympathetic squeeze. Alexander was back in his wheelchair, and someone had brought over a bale of hay for him to prop up his leg, which was encased in a fiberglass boot. He was wearing a Harvard baseball cap and a placid smile on his face that Anna recognized as his opioid grin. By the time she reached his chair she was seething, but greeted him with a smile, knowing everyone was watching.
“Hey you,” Anna said. “I thought you decided this was too much trouble for your first public appearance.”
“It was my idea,” Eleanor said, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. “Everyone has been calling the house and asking to see him. I figured why not just bring the mountain to them? Besides, we’ve barely seen you in days, and my brother misses his girlfriend. So here. We. Are.”
“Eleanor, I stopped by this morning,” Anna said. “When you were at Zumba class.”
“Yes, but Alexander said you stayed for five minutes and then flitted off, like you’ve been doing all week.”
Before Anna could say another
word the starting shot sounded, and the race began. Anna peered through her binoculars. There were twenty-five horses participating in the event, staggered in groups of five for five seconds. Anna knew that five seconds was no time at all for a fast horse and soon they were all clumped together in a pack. Her heart started beating as fast as the hooves that thundered through the grass.
“Anna, Anna?” Eleanor whined. “I forgot my binoculars, can I use yours?”
“No,” Anna replied. “You should have brought your own.” She heard Eleanor stomp off in search of someone else to pester.
“Anna?” Alexander said, quietly. “Can I use your binoculars? I had given mine to Eleanor, but I guess she left them in the car.”
Wordlessly Anna handed her binoculars to Alexander but didn’t take her eyes off the horses, which were now rounding the first flagpole and would soon be heading back in front of them. From what she could tell, Vronsky had made the first three jumps easily. Maybe Beatrice was right, and Alexia was a natural. The horse he was riding was an experienced jumper and knew what to do.
Seconds later the first three horses were in front of them, all of them taking the low wooden fence with ease. The crowd cheered, as Anna did, delighted to see that her Alexia was in fourth place and gaining on the horse and rider ahead of him. Anna wished she could scream out Vronsky’s name loud enough for him to hear, but it was impossible. Alexander had grabbed her hand and pulled her close so she was standing right next to his chair.