“Most guys love having sex without a condom. We’ve done it before.”
I stopped and turned so fast that she almost ran into me. “Yeah, back when we were dating. You and I broke up two years ago.”
She put her hand on her hip. “Are you saying I’m dirty?”
It was really hard for me not to walk away. It was only because she had meant something to me at one point that I didn’t. “No, and I don’t appreciate you twisting my words like that. I expect better from you.”
She started crying.
“What did I say now?”
She cried harder.
I pulled her into my arms. “I’m sorry. That was very insensitive of me.” I rubbed her back and let her cover my shirt in her tears until she calmed down some.
I drew her away from me.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s okay. Something is obviously upsetting you. But if it’s because I won’t have sex with you, trust me, I’m not worth it.” I smiled. “I mean, I know I’m good in bed, but I’m not the only one out there.”
She gave me a wobbly smile for a second and went back to being sad. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I looked at the bar. “But you were drinking.”
She shook her head. “Club soda.”
“What do I say? Congratulations? It’ll be okay?”
She shrugged. “I’m pregnant, and Victor broke up with me.”
“What a prick.” I looked back down the hall. “Is that why you said we could have sex without a condom?”
She turned red and didn’t answer.
“Autumn, were you trying to have sex with me, so you could pass the baby off as mine?”
She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no.
I ran a hand through my hair. “Autumn, that is fucked up.”
“I know, okay? But I’m desperate.”
“Give me your phone.”
She suspiciously eyed me. “Why?”
“Just give me the phone.” I motioned her to hurry up with my hand.
She unlocked it for me and handed it over, and I scrolled until I found Victor’s name.
Me as Autumn: We need to talk. This baby is half yours, and I didn’t make him on my own. That’s fine if you want nothing to do with him, but you are paying child support. And you’re the one who’s going to have to look him in the eyes someday when he finds you as an adult and explain to him how you were a selfish piece of shit.
This is your chance to turn it around. I’ll be waiting for your call.
I handed the cell back to Autumn, and she gasped when she saw the text I’d sent.
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“I don’t like seeing my friends hurt.”
She smiled. “We’re friends?”
“Yeah, we’re friends.”
She looked at her phone again. “Do you think he’ll respond?”
“If he knows what’s good for him.”
“Can I call you if I ever need more advice? Like, from a guy’s point of view.”
“Sure.” I took her phone again and put in my new Minnesota number.
“You’re really serious about not coming back,” she said when she saw that I had changed my number.
“Yes, I am.”
“Yo, Cal, you ready to go?” Jack shouted across the open room.
“I’ll be there in a sec,” I yelled back. I turned back to Autumn. “Good luck with the baby and everything.”
She held out her hand, and I shook it.
“Same to you, Cal. New York will miss you.”
Fifteen
Indy
I got home safely, got ready for bed, and climbed under the covers when my phone beeped.
Leslie: Did you make it home safe?
Me: Just crawled into bed. You still out?
Leslie: No, we’re on our way home. Talk tomorrow?
Me: Of course.
Leslie: Night.
Me: Night.
I set my phone down, and it beeped again. I rolled to my side to take a look. Leslie must have forgotten to tell me something.
But it wasn’t Leslie.
Cal: You up?
Me: Awake but in bed.
Cal: Same.
Me: How’s New York?
Cal: Good. I had a going-away party tonight. It was nice to see my friends.
Me: Are you going to miss it there?
It was crazy, but I didn’t want him to say yes. I wanted him to like living here.
Cal: I don’t think I’m going to miss it as much as I originally thought.
Me: That’s good.
Cal: What did you do tonight?
Me: Went on a food and beer tour. Then went out to a club for a bit.
Cal: With Leslie?
I went back and forth on just saying yes or telling him everyone who was there, which was stupid. Cal and I weren’t a couple or dating.
Me: Leslie and her boyfriend, Asher, and then Asher’s friend Marcus.
Cal: Sounds like a double date.
I had no idea what Cal meant by this. He was probably just making conversation, but could he actually be jealous?
I pictured him in my head. He was handsome and could have plenty of women. He didn’t have to get jealous over someone he’d already slept with.
Me: No. I’ve known Marcus for years. We’re friends too. And he’s had the same girlfriend for a long time.
For some reason, I kept my mouth shut about Marcus and Vanessa breaking up.
Cal: Was it a fun tour?
Me: It was. It wasn’t the greatest night of my life, but I enjoyed myself.
Cal: I already knew it wasn’t the greatest night of your life.
Me: How did you know that?
Cal: Because that was last Saturday.
Last Saturday was when I’d texted him for the first time.
Cal: I’m joking. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of great nights in your life.
Cal: Just ignore me. I’ve had a long night.
Me: That doesn’t sound good. I thought a going-away party was supposed to be fun.
Cal: It was. I just ran into my ex, and it was a little much.
This news had my heart picking up speed. I didn’t like the thought of him being with his ex, and I also really didn’t like feeling that way.
Me: I’m sorry about that. What happened?
Cal: Not much. I just hadn’t seen her in a long time and was not expecting to talk to her.
I wondered if there was more to the story, but I wasn’t going to press.
Me: I can imagine that was awkward. I’d feel the same if one of my exes showed up.
Cal: You don’t stay friends with them, I take it?
Me: That’s one way to put it. I would like to say I’ve had amicable breakups, but they always seem to end badly. I think there is something wrong with me. LOL.
Cal: Why would you say that?
Me: I’m the common denominator in all these relationships.
I’d been waiting so intently for his next text that I wasn’t prepared for the phone to ring, and it scared me.
“Hello?”
“Maybe it’s partly you because you always pick the wrong guys, but it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.”
I sighed like a teenage girl talking to her crush. This was the first time we’d talked on the phone. He had a nice voice. “Thanks. I’m not sure if it’s true, but thank you.”
“Speaking of exes, you never told me about who you were trying to message the night I came over. I’m guessing you’re not friends.”
I laughed. “I wouldn’t say he’s my ex either. I met him on a dating app, we went out a few times, and when I asked for his phone number, he gave me yours.”
“Accident?” Cal asked.
“That’s what he claimed when I called him out on it two days later. But if a woman you’re dating says she’s going to text you and you don’t hear from her for two days, wouldn’t you wonder what happened?”
Cal chuckled. “I’d like to think I would.”
“Exactly. Not only did he give me the wrong number, but there was also no checking in with me. And it had been two days. So, I told him to go fuck himself.”
Laughter erupted on the other side of the phone. “You didn’t.”
“You’re right; I didn’t. But I wanted to. I basically called him out on his BS and said goodbye. Then, I blocked him.”
“I’m glad you did,” Cal said, still chuckling. “He doesn’t deserve you.”
“You don’t know me that well, but I appreciate that. For all you know, I could secretly be a black widow, and the reason I’m not friends with any of my exes is because they’re all dead.”
“Then, if I were the guy you met on the dating app, I’d run away.”
I laughed this time. I had expected him to be scared or think I was weird. But no, he’d made a joke. I loved it.
“Nah, he’s not worth years in prison.”
“So, tell me, Indy, what’s your favorite food?”
“My favorite food?” I asked with skepticism.
“Yeah. You told me I don’t know you that well, so I’m getting to know you. What’s your favorite food?”
I rolled onto my back and began to answer his questions, but I made sure he answered mine in return.
Sixteen
Indy
The week had dragged on with Cal gone even though the two of us had texted each other a couple of nights. But there had been no more talking on the phone, and we’d never gotten as deep into our conversations as we had on that Saturday night.
But that didn’t stop me from being excited to see him once he got back. He had mentioned that he was going to fly in on the weekend and be at work on Monday morning.
I woke up early, anxious to start the day. After giving up on going back to sleep, I got out of bed. And when I should have been taking the extra time to lounge around, I went through half my closet instead. I wanted to show him what he’d been missing all week.
It was probably stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself.
I did manage to hold myself back from putting on too much makeup or doing something extreme with my hair. I didn’t need everyone at the office asking me what I was dressed up for.
But it happened anyway. When I got off the elevator, the first person I saw was Angela.
“Hey, Indy.”
“Morning.”
“You look so pretty today.”
“Thanks.”
The next person I ran into was Keith. He squinted at me.
“What?”
He waved his pen around in a circle in front of my face. “Something’s different about you.”
“Nothing’s different. I’m the same as I always am.”
He shook his head, disbelief on his face. “No. Something’s different.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have time for this,” I said and walked around him.
When I reached my desk, Leslie turned around and whistled at me.
I threw my stuff down. “What? What is wrong with me?”
She smiled. “Someone is excited to see the boss man today.”
I looked around. Thankfully, no one was close. “Shut up.”
“I can’t. I’m physically incapable.”
“Liar.”
She shrugged and leaned forward. “I have to assume that’s why you look so sexy today?”
“Sexy?” I looked down at my knee-length black skirt and my red blouse. “I wasn’t going for sexy.”
“You deny wanting to look good for Cal?”
I lifted my chin. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”
She laughed.
“Seriously, do I need to change?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Do you have an extra change of clothes?”
“No,” I said, defeated, and dropped into my chair.
“Babe, you look fine. You look amazing in fact.”
“But I don’t want him to think I dressed up for him,” I whined.
“He’s worked with you for one week. He doesn’t know how you normally dress.”
I brightened. “Hey, you’re right. I might dress like this all the time.”
“You look great today,” a female coworker said as she walked past us.
I looked at Leslie. “Except that people won’t shut up about me looking different today.”
“He’s not going to be sitting next to you all day,” she pointed out.
“You are so smart. You’re on fire with the advice today.”
“It’s the steady stream of sex I’ve been getting all week.”
“Leslie.”
“What?”
“Don’t ever let men hear you say that. They have big enough egos as it is.”
She pointed at me. “That’s so true. It’s a steady stream of awesome sex and orgasms.” She tapped on her temple. “That should fix men from thinking they are qualified.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. “Really?”
“You’re right. Most men think they’re all God’s gift to women.”
I laughed as I pulled up my work email. I went through and deleted all the emails that were no longer relevant and then opened the new emails. Right at the top was an email from Callan, Nicholas.
The subject line was, Back in the office.
I was pretty sure it was an email to everyone, yet part of me wondered if it was just for me.
There was something fun about having a secret at work. I was certain it was the forbidden aspect. I’d never understood why it was so sexy, but it was.
The email was indeed for all the staff. He thanked his temporary replacement, talked about a few things he’d done while in Chicago, and let us know his agenda for the week and when he’d be out of the office.
The last line of the email was to remind everyone about the upcoming Halloween party that we had every year and to let us know that he was looking forward to attending. It was less than two weeks away.
“Did you read today’s email?” I asked Leslie.
“Yeah. What about it?”
“The Halloween party.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m excited. I didn’t have a date last year, but I do this year.” She did a little chair dance. “I already made sure Asher’s going to be in town for it. Now, I need to come up with the best couples costume. We’re going to win that prize this year if it kills us.”
“I’m sure you and your boyfriend will be super cute together, no matter what you wear,” I said with the straightest face I could.
“Shut up. He’s not my boyfriend.”
I laughed. “Whatever you have to tell yourself. But I seriously hope you do steal the prize. We can’t let Patrick and his wife win again.”
“You and I might need to brainstorm. What are you going as?” She looked in the direction of Cal’s office. “Are you going to bring a date?”
The last two years, I had gone with my ex-boyfriend. I wasn’t really looking forward to going alone, but I couldn’t take my boss as my date. “Probably not. There aren’t any prospects—unless I meet someone or a new guy shows up on my dating app. But with the party less than two weeks away, I doubt that’s going to happen. I can finally wear my antisocial costume.”
My ex almost hadn’t gone last year, so I’d suggested that Leslie and I go as a couple. My idea was for her to wear a shirt with all the social media icons on it and butterfly wings. Then, I would wear the same shirt with a no symbol—a red circle with a red diagonal line over them. She would be a social butterfly, and I would be antisocial. I couldn’t take credit for the concept since I’d found them online, but I thought it was genius, putting them together like that.
Leslie turned me down flat, and my ex decided to go at the last minute. We wore I’m with Him and I’m with Her T-shirts with arrows pointing at each other. My ex didn’t like dressing up, and this was our compromise. As you can guess, we hadn’t even been in the running to win.
This could be my year to try out my id
ea.
“Or I could bring butterfly wings and the no symbol and switch on and off. I could be my own date.”
“Ugh. No, Indy. No one’s going to get the costumes. Also, everyone’s going to think you’re a loser if you do both, like you can’t get a date.”
“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”
“You know I’m only looking out for you. You should ask Marcus to go with you?” she suggested, studying my face as she said it.
“Why would you say that?”
“I know that Marcus and Vanessa broke up. I know that you have a crush on him—”
“Had,” I corrected. “I stopped having a crush on him a couple years ago.”
“Whatever.” She dismissively waved her hand in the air. “I also know that he asked if he could take you out on a date sometime.”
“He told you?” I was surprised.
“No. He told Asher, and Asher told me.”
“Of course.”
“So, why not go for it?”
I thought about it, and it was actually a good idea. It was for work, so we wouldn’t get too crazy. Plus, Leslie and Asher would be there, so I wouldn’t be the only one Marcus knew. And lastly, I wouldn’t have to show up alone and feel like Leslie and Asher’s third wheel.
“You know, it’s not a bad idea.”
Leslie beamed. “Right? The four of us will have a lot of fun.”
Even if I developed no romantic feelings for Marcus and him for me, she was right. We’d all been friends for years, so we would have fun, no matter what.
“I’ll text him tonight.” I looked out of the corner of my eye at Leslie as I turned back to my computer. “Maybe he’ll be my antisocial to my social butterfly or vice versa,” I said in a haughty voice just to get a rise out of my friend.
Leslie groaned and shook her head. “You do, and Asher and I will pretend like we don’t know you.”
Seventeen
Indy
After lunch, I was deep into my work when Cal came over.
“Hello,” he greeted our little group. “How are you all today?”
He met each one of our eyes, and when he got to me, his eyes didn’t stray to my outfit, for which I was grateful. Everyone was watching him, and they all would have noticed him checking me out.
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