“How about I just direct my anger in their direction? See, that seems like a healthy outlet right?" I smiled at both of them, hoping that I sounded convincing. Somehow I didn’t think either one of them was buying it.
“Whatever, I’m famished. Let’s cook some dogs!" Ian said, once again changing the subject.
“Sounds like a plan man," Kennan said as he headed toward the fire and skewered a hotdog on a stick.
We sat around the fire, cooking the hotdogs and eating in relative silence. Relative was the term of choice where Ian was concerned. I was pretty sure he felt physical pain if he didn’t talk every few seconds. He would totally lose the quiet mouse game. I ate one hotdog and between the other two guys the three packs disappeared. I didn’t know whether to be disgusted or impressed. We sat there, digesting for a while before Ian jumped to his feet.
“I challenge you to a dual of swords, good sir," he said with a mock British gentlemen’s accent.
“I accept your challenge. What shall we wager my good man?" Kennan asked in an equally horrible accent.
“I wager the couch. If I win, I get to sleep on the couch and you must retreat to the floor like the dog you are," Ian said with a flourish.
“Aye, we have a gentlemen’s accord. On with the dual. Izzy shall be an impartial observer. Although I must warn you, I imagine she will be more on my side than yours," Kennan said as he looked toward me.
I was afraid they would pull out real swords at any moment. Instead, they picked up two of the sticks we had used for cooking the hotdogs. They took up what I imagined was a sword fighting stance.
“On guard, you pigeon," Ian shouted before lunging toward Kennan.
Kennan blocked the blow with grace and swirled in the opposite direction, swatting Ian on the back as he went.
They both looked at me expectantly, like I was supposed to do something.
“What?" I asked, honestly unsure of what I had missed.
“You’re supposed to say strike to whomever landed the blow. In this case it was me," Kennan preened.
“Fine, one strike to K.O," I said.
“K.O.?" Ian asked.
“Yeah, all of the girls back in Chicago called him K.O., mostly because they thought he was a knock out, but also I’m guessing because of his initials," I said.
“Not all of the girls called me that," Kennan said with a knowing look.
“Whatever, I’ve called you K.O. before. It just feels weird," I said rolling my eyes. He didn’t need me to stroke his already inflated ego.
“Hm, we should come up with a nickname for me," Ian said hopefully, before regaining his stance.
“How about I.T.O.?" I asked.
“What does it stand for?" Ian asked as he and Kennan circled one another.
“Ian the Obnoxious," I said as Kennan landed another strike while Ian was distracted.
A mock look of affront graced his face as he blustered, “First, that strike doesn’t count. That infernal woman distracted me. Second, that wasn’t very nice Izzy. I know not if I shall ever be able to forgive you for wounding me so.”
“Two strikes to Kennan. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be distracted Ian. Really, if this were a real battle would some maiden be able to distract you?" I asked.
“If she were as pretty as you, and her tongue as venomous, I imagine she might," he said with a wink in my direction.
The two of them went back to circling one another. Blocking each other’s blows with the experience their lives had given them. They circled and blocked the strikes, becoming more aggressive the longer the fight went on. Ian circled around Kennan and finally landed a strike.
“One strike, Ian," I said, trying not to sound impressed.
Ian circled closer to me and landed a kiss on my cheek, causing blush to rise to my face.
“Kissing the judge won’t help you win Ian," I said, trying not to show how he’d affected me. Kennan was the only guy that had kissed me in any way for the past few years. I looked up at the man in question to see fury brewing behind his eyes.
“Are you going to play at courting or come and fight me, man?" Kennan asked.
“Uh oh, I think someone is a little upset that I sullied his Seer’s virtue," Ian said to me in a stage whisper, only inciting Kennan more.
They went back to fighting and Kennan landed three more strikes consecutively.
“Five strikes Kennan. How many are we going to anyway?" I asked.
“Five strikes is the winning amount of blows. Sad really, I was quite looking forward to sleeping on the couch. Alas, the floor she calls to me. Who wants some s’mores?" Ian asked before practically skipping back toward the fire and food.
“You got a little serious there buddy. Everything alright?" I asked Kennan once Ian was out of earshot.
“I just don’t like the idea of the two of you. He is a player Izzy. Just be careful with him, okay?”
I burst out laughing, unable to control myself. I knew that the only reason Ian was flirting with me was to piss Kennan off. There was no way I could ever see myself with Ian. Granted, he had kind of grown on me. Much like a fungus grows on a tree. But, I would never entertain any serious notions of a future with him. He was gorgeous in his own wacky way. But I was already taken with someone else. Not that I would ever admit to that.
“What? Why are you laughing at me?" Kennan asked, stunned by my outburst.
“There is nothing to worry about there from either front Kennan," I said, before heading back to the promise of a blackened marshmallow.
Kennan followed me back to the fire with a confused look on his brow.
“Lovers quarrel?" Ian asked as we approached the fire.
I slapped him on the arm and realized how happy I was to have met him. He was the comic relief I needed and I wondered if my mother had any hand in him coming.
“Hey, did you know my mom?" I asked as I loaded a marshmallow on a stick.
“Yep, she was like a little sister to me. I loved her as much as anyone who ever met her did. You’re a lot like her, you know?" Ian said in a rare moment of seriousness.
“My gods woman, what are you doing to that marshmallow?” Kennan asked disgusted.
The marshmallow in question was currently on fire and turning a delicious black color.
“I like my marshmallows blackened. They’re crunchy on the outside and gooey on the inside," I said before blowing the flame out and eating it.
Both of the guy’s faces cringed, like they’d just witnessed something truly disgusting. I ignored them and put another marshmallow in place of the first, setting it on fire.
“That is really gross Izzy. Seriously, and your teeth are covered in black specks now. It looks like your mouth is rotting," Ian said.
I just chomped my teeth at him like I was a deranged zombie. Before all was said and done I had eaten five burnt marshmallows and the guys had consumed the rest of the bag and all of the s’mores supplies.
We sat around the fire joking. It made me realize how much I had missed out on by not making more friends. I could see how my mom would like Ian. He sort of brought out the happiness in everyone he was close to. Even Kennan seemed more his old trickster self with Ian around.
“So, Ian, have you met your girl yet?" I asked, wondering if Ian had a Seer out there unprotected.
“Izzy, that isn’t something you should ask a Guardian," Kennan admonished.
“Well, how was I supposed to know? There is no guide book. Or is there some sort of welcome pamphlet I didn’t get?" I eyed Kennan quizzically. “Sorry Ian. I really didn’t mean to pry, well I suppose I did. Sorry all the same," I said.
“You’re fine Izzy, and no I haven’t met my one and only yet. I’m holding out for someone with a remarkable sense of style and panache," he said with a wave of his hand.
“Maybe she can teach you a thing or two," I said laughing as Ian threw a stick in my direction.
We headed in as the fire turned to embers. I said goodnight to the guys and h
eaded to bed. I wanted to try and find my mother in my dreams that evening. However, when I finally did drift to sleep, I felt the void. She was really and truly gone. No longer would she fill my dreams with her calming and sometimes alarming presence. No longer would I be able to reach out and connect with her. I sighed as I walked through the fog, wondering if I would ever find Xavier again. As soon as the thought danced across my mind, Xavier was standing before me.
**********
“Well hello dear, did you want to talk?" he asked me condescendingly.
“Not really. I just want to know where you are so I can come and punch you in your stupid, smug throat," I said, wishing I was better at the whole tough talking thing.
“Funny, I want to know the same thing. Where are you?”
I felt him try and pull from my thoughts and quickly constructed a mental brick wall hoping that it would deter him.
“Interesting talent you have there. Did your little protector teach you that?" he asked with a curl of his lip.
I was amazed at how someone so handsome could be so unbearably ugly all at the same time.
“Nope, natural talents and all that. So why don’t you tell me where you are little man. Because I’m coming after you and I’m going to rip everything you hold dear out of reach. I’m not going to stop until you’ve lost everything you’ve worked so hard to gain. I’m coming for you. With or without your help, I will find you and you will pay."
Ooooh, that sounded tougher. Sweet.
“I don’t doubt you will try. But I must go. Hey, do me a favor. Tell my brother I said hello will you?" Xavier asked.
The look of confusion on my face spoke the words I could not.
“Oh, how rich, he didn’t tell you? That is priceless. Oh well, I shall see you again soon. Tata for now," Xavier said, before disappearing back into the fog.
**********
SIXTEEN
I sat up in my bed and threw the covers off. I looked down to make sure I was decent. After all, there was a pinky promise to abide. I stormed to my door and threw it open, shouting in the process.
“Kennan O’Malley, you deceptive son of a biscuit eater! I swear, if I were as big as you, I would seriously be able to do some sort of physical damage. But as I’m not, just know, that I’m incredibly pissed off that you would keep something like this from me. Aaaaaahhhh!" I yelled.
I was madder than a wet hen.
“What are you talking about Izzy? In what way have I deceived you?" Kennan asked tiredly.
“He is your brother. YOUR BROTHER!" I shouted as I chucked a pillow at him.
“Who’s my brother? What are you yapping about woman? Maybe try and make some sense.”
“Let me break this down for your Neanderthal brain. Xavier. Is. Your. Brother. And you DID NOT TELL ME!" I shouted, looking for something else to throw at his stupid enemy, brother-having head.
“When did you talk to him, Izzy? Does he know where you are?" He sounded scared which deflated my anger only slightly.
“Just now, I was walking through the fog in my dreams and looking to see if my mom was still lingering. Then, I thought about trying to find Xavier and poof he was there. And no, before you freak out, he doesn’t know where we are. I built some sort of brick wall so he couldn’t go digging in my head. Don’t try and change the subject though, your brother. He of evil bastardness is your brother. Not like we are all part of the same brotherhood, but like hey we have the same parents. Also, we should do some sort of memorial for my mom," I said with a stomp of my foot.
Ian snickered from the corner. “Bro, you didn’t tell her he was your brother. Oh, you are in the doghouse man," Ian laughed as he turned over and went back to sleep, tuning out whatever we might say next.
“Can I come in your room and talk so we don’t wake sleeping beauty over there?" Kennan asked tiredly.
I nodded and he got up to follow me into my room, shutting the door behind him. My room suddenly felt like a much smaller space with Kennan so close to me. The anger having dulled my sanity, I suddenly felt the desire to climb him like he was some great tree. I shook myself and looked up at Kennan waiting for an explanation. I would deal with my lust later, for now I wanted answers.
“Yes, he is my brother. His real name is Xavier O’Malley. The way Guardians come into existence is similar to yours. When a Seer and a Guardian have a child that child will either be a Guardian or a Seer based on whether they are female or male. Can I sit? This is a really long story and not one I have told many people," Kennan asked, moving toward the bed to sit when I patted the mattress.
Kennan’s body heat soaked into me and I found it hard not to get distracted by his closeness or the shape of his mouth. His lips just looked so dang kissable. Hard and soft in all of the right places. Jesus, Izzy, put that on the back burner. Long story, muddled past, big bad brother. Priorities. I tuned back into Kennan just as he began to speak again.
“Our father was a good man. He was joyful and giving. He loved to laugh and he loved everyone with abandon. Including our mother. You see, we Guardians don’t get to choose who we protect. We don’t always end up with romantic feelings toward our Seers, but it happens in about half of the cases. Otherwise our races would die out, you know? Well, not all Seers are good Izzy. Neither are Guardians I suppose. We are just like humans in that there are those that want to help others and those that wish to only help themselves. My mother was the latter," he said pausing. I could feel him slipping back into his memories, and I struggled not to sift through them myself.
“Our father, Shaemus, wanted so badly for our mother to be good that he eventually stopped seeing the truth of what she was. I don’t doubt she loved him. I’m sure in her own way she did. But he was never enough for her and neither was I. I’m like my Da you see? I want the world to be a better place than it was when I got here. My brother on the other hand, well, he was quite useful to our mother. She taught him how to get into visions and dream walk. She taught him how to hack into any Seers thoughts and use them for his own gain. When she finished teaching him everything she knew, she hoped he would help her to gain the sort of life she had always wanted. What she got from him instead was a knife to the back."
I breathed in hard as Kennan braced himself to finish a story that was not often spoken.
“I saw him do it, Izzy. And you know what the worst part was? He looked up at me and smiled afterward. Every ounce of decency abandoned and replaced with greed and corruption. I knew in that moment that he was not the brother I had grown and played with any longer. That man had been replaced by a creature of my mother’s making. One she could not even control in the end. He disappeared that night, and my father died six months later, heartbroken. He finally realized the truth of everything he had turned his eyes from over the years. He made me promise that I would stop Xavier.”
Kennan looked at me as if the next part of the story was something he wished he did not have to tell me. A chill crawled up my spine as I awaited his next words.
“I could have killed him the day he killed your dad. Your mom knew that he was coming and exactly where he would be. You see, our mother taught me how to vision walk as well, but once she realized I wouldn’t do her bidding, she gave up on me. Well, I had seen your mother’s vision. I knew precisely where it would happen, and I did nothing to stop it. I went that day prepared to kill him, but I couldn’t. I could not see the monster he truly was. All I saw was the boy I had played with as a child. I saw him take your mother away and heard her voice in my head telling me it was all as it was meant to be. Even at the last, she tried to comfort me for my weakness. Then he shot your father. Xavier knew I was there watching."
I could barely breathe. I had been wondering how he’d gotten there quickly enough to be with my father as he died.
Kennan wouldn’t look at me as he continued. “Your father didn’t know I could have prevented it. He paid a price that should have been mine. He was caught in the middle of a rivalry that has lasted hundreds of ye
ars. I don’t think your dad knew that I had seen the whole thing happen. But I remember every second of it. I remember watching his life slip away and your mother being yanked away. I remember her calming assurance and I remember your big hazel eyes staring up at me from the trunk of that car like I was a savior and not the coward I truly am. I’m just as weak as my father and that weakness has cost you everyone you loved.”
We were both quiet for a long time before either one of us could talk. I was hurt that he had kept all of this from me, but I realized it wasn’t out of malice that he had done so. He hadn’t told me because his inaction brought him shame. I reached over and grabbed his hand. Kennan was just as much a victim of circumstance as I was. Part of me was angry that he hadn’t stepped in, but in his place I don’t think I could have done it either.
“Kennan,” I said hesitantly, “I didn’t lose everyone I loved. I had Grams for a long time, and Mike. I also have you," I said, and I knew the truth of it. I loved Kennan with my whole heart. He had protected me when no one else could have, and brought me back from darkness more times than I could count. I wasn’t ready for him to know the depth of that love just yet so I hastily added, “You’re my best friend. I would be lost without you."
Ugh, lame. I was such a pansy.
Kennan sighed and leaned back against the wall, as though a heavy weight had finally lifted from his shoulders. The burden of his secret must have been unimaginably heavy. He sat there, silent, for a long time before a yawn escaped my lips. He looked at me and asked something I never thought I would hear.
“Can I stay in here tonight? I just need to be close to your sunshine for a while." The rare glimpse at his emotional side staggered me.
“It might be a tight fit, but sure, you can sleep in here tonight," I said as the butterflies took flight in my stomach once more. My heart leapt into my throat, and I prayed that I would be able to play it cool. Kennan, in just his boxer briefs, wanted to sleep in the same bed. This was going to be difficult.
Kennan lay down on the side closest to the wall and I took the outside edge. We were forced to spoon, considering it was just a full sized bed and Kennan himself took up over half of it. I scooted as far toward the edge as I possibly could to avoid contact with his body. I knew that if he touched me, I would probably spontaneously combust. Then where would the whole bring down the bad guys movement be? So, yeah, it was for the good of the future that I was about to fall off of the bed and onto the floor.
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