My mind told me to tuck tail and run, even if the dragon ate me trying, but my heart knew this was the only way. I was staring at the only man who had any chance in hell of helping me. I nodded, gaining a smile from him. “She can’t win. I can’t turn into the thing she wants me to be. No one would be safe anymore. I don’t like hurting people.”
He walked over to me, taking my elbow in his hand and squeezed. “I know. You have a good heart. If you didn’t you wouldn’t feel the way you do when she hurts people.” I fell into step beside him once the dragon stretched its wings and shot into the night. “That was one of Hollywood’s dragons by the way,” he said, looking back up toward the sky as it roared.
“I can tell the family resemblance. Both dicks. So he has more than one?” I was interested to know more about the guys, and this was a prime opportunity to find out everything I could on them.
“Two.”
“And the other guys?”
He held back a branch for me to walk under. “You’ve seen the wolves. Zeke was blessed with raising the dead from the ground on which he stands, hence his skull tattoos. When you were fighting him, did he turn into a dust substance?” I nodded. “He has the ability to turn himself into ashes and appear somewhere else close by. Harley is incredible fast like his wolves, and Hollywood is strong like his dragons.”
I let everything sink in. Everything sounded like a video game. Unrealistic. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would have trouble believing it. Listen to me. The girl who argues with herself and has fire come out of her hands. “What about the other guy? Freeman?”
“Aww Freeman is gifted too, but in a different way. He is an amazing fighter also, but lacks stronger abilities like the others. His power comes from the mind.”
I stopped, staring at him as we arrived at the village. “What do you mean?”
“He can make people believe things that didn’t happen or forget things they’ve seen.”
“If that’s true couldn’t he undo something like that? Like maybe make someone remember something?”
“No. It doesn’t work that way. It would’ve come in handy if it did, huh?” I didn’t really care to have any memories back. I was in a crazy house for a reason, and that reason probably wasn’t good, but I was desperate for a way out of this mess. “Go get some rest. Tomorrow we start with this training to help you control yourself.” Without waiting for my response, he turned and disappeared through a crowd of people. Trudging up the steps, I kept a constant guard. I didn’t believe the guys would leave me alone as easy as he claimed. He didn’t see the bloodlust in their eyes like I did. I put my bag down beside the bed and laid down. I stared out into the night, ready for a fight if it came for me again.
***
Something hit the back of my head, causing a shrill whistle to ring against my ears. I jerked away as my hand went to massage the painful thump on my skull. Lavarus replaced his cane down beside his leg, looking pleased with the reaction his strike caused. He was true to his word. He started this “concentration” practice at daybreak. I nearly attacked him when he came through my door to wake me, expecting it to be someone different. He gave me enough time to get ready and eat, which I used to visit Harley instead. I was alive because of him. The least I could do was pay him a visit. But I couldn’t get him out of my mind now.
Lavarus snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Stop losing your focus, Reese. I can tell you’re not concentrating because you’re gnawing on that lip again. I’m sure it’ll probably fall off before the day is done.” I involuntary fell back against the grass, nestling amongst its softness. Instinctively, my arms covered my eyes, guarding them against the yellow rays that bled through my closed lids. It felt good to close my eyes since I didn’t sleep the night before. I heard Lavarus sit beside me with a grunt. “Worried about Harley?” I peeked at him through a small crack in the folds of my arms, before dropping them to my sides. He scanned my face for the answer he already knew. “He’ll be fine.”
I shrugged, acting as if I didn’t care. “That’s good,” I said as casually as I could convey. “What’s next?” I sat up, removing blades of grass catching a ride in my hair. Harley was a conversation I wasn’t ready to have with anyone, especially Lavarus. It was confusing to even think about, let alone talk about it out loud.
He ignored my obvious dismal of the subject and continued. “The other guys took it to the extreme. Harley knew like I do that there is a possibility you can beat the darkness. Don’t let him getting hurt be for nothing.” If this was a pep talk, it sucked. If it was meant to make me feel bad, it worked. He looked awful this morning when I went to visit him. He was pale, his face lacking any sign of life. They said he would survive, but it sure seemed as if he was knocking on Death’s door. He needed someone there with him to make sure nothing happened. I glanced back toward the village, my eyes peering through the woods. Lavarus was right. Harley getting hurt didn’t need to be for nothing. I needed to focus on what I came for. I came here for help, but I had been so weary to trust anyone I was only giving it just enough to make them think I was trying. It was time I stopped doing that. They were here for me, or at least some of them. I rolled my eyes thinking of the other guys and my brush with death last night.
I shook my shoulders loose, dissipating the stiffness that seemed to take refuge there. “Right. Let’s try again. I’ll try harder this time.” I closed my eyes, resting my arms on my crossed legs, palm up. Gradually, I slipped into a part of my mind that was void of anything but the nature around me. It was difficult to concentrate with her clawing against the wall, wanting in. She hated I was doing this, that was clear, because she was more aggressive today. Refusing to let me have any moment to myself since we’d started working. Her voice pounded against the walls of my conscious, shouting insults and things to scare me. I was learning to mentally block her, and that was the last thing she wanted.
Somewhere in this maze were memories she wouldn’t allow me access to. This along with learning to control her and hone into my other senses besides sight were the things Lavarus was determined to help me with. Once I faced this Dermetheus person everyone talked about there was a good chance during the fight I would be blinded by some power he had, much like the weird fire that came from me. That made me nervous. I never realized how much I relied on my vision until we started. What hope did I have against someone like him? He sounded invincible from the way he was described. He was fully controlled by the darkness and had destroyed a world with a mass army of followers.
Something crunched against the grass several feet from me. Its weight was off balance, leaning heavily to the right side. Lavarus. A bird soared over my head, its wings causing the tiniest bit of noise as they glided up and down. Somewhere deep in the woods the smell of a banana lingered as its layers were peeled off. My legs tingled growing more sensitive to the ground. Grass rested against my legs, some folded beneath me as I sat on them. They felt as if they were moving, then I realized it was insects burying into the ground. I inhaled slowly through my nose becoming one with everything around me. There was so much life it was electric. A feeling that made me feel as if I were a part of everything.
Opennnnnnn the doors, you stupid bitch. Her fists pounded against the mental barrier I had placed. I flinched, fighting to regain my concentration. She laughed. So weak. You’ll never be able to keep me out. Her voice sounded crazed. Everyone dies around you. Can’t you see you’re a disease to people? She knew how to get to me. I took another breath, trying my best to ignore her verbal assaults. She was evolving, becoming more and more volatile. It was getting harder to keep her locked away. I fought, concentrating as hard as I could. Sweat beads rolled down my temples as my lips pulled tighter.
“Reese?” Lavarus’s voice was soft and concerned. That’s all it took. His voice saying my name to break the last shred of mental strength I had left. The wall burst apart. I jolted back, never opening my eyes. She stepped into my safe place as the smoke cleared from around her. My head rolled
, dropping so my chin touched my chest.
“Reese isn’t here anymore.”
Chapter Twenty
Reese
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, old man?” My head lifted just enough to see Lavarus take a few unsettling steps away from me. His face clearly showed fear.
“She will get rid of you.” His cane rose, pointing in my direction. A cynical laugh bubbled through my chest and out my mouth. Hilarious. This man had obliviously gone delusional with age. Nonetheless, it was because of him that she was even learning how to block me out. He needed to be disposed of. I shifted to my hands and knees, crawling toward him a few feet. He moved away until his back hit a tree. I inhaled dramatically enjoying every bit of the smell his fear expelled. At one time he was a great warrior, I could tell by the way he carried himself, but things had changed. He wasn’t that fighter anymore, and he knew he was no match for me. Oh it had been too long. Too long since someone looked at me, begging for their life. The widening of their tear filled eyes was art. Something only I could truly appreciate. There was nothing else like it.
“You really think so? Your actions speak loud enough to tell me otherwise.” I stood, giving him a deadpan stare.
His knuckles turned white as he gripped the cane tighter, pulling it to his body. What a weapon. I could break that and impale his body to the tree he cowered against. My tongue clucked against the roof of my mouth. No. That wouldn’t be fun enough. He was a problem for me. He shouldn’t go quick and easy. Torture was the only way others like him would learn. Maybe then those morons would try me again. I couldn’t keep the sour look that painted across my face. That idiot had to go and sacrifice himself. The memories were too close to her previous occurrence. It was the one time she made me go away without my wanting to. Those memories had to stay blocked. It was imperative.
“Reese, fight this. She isn’t stronger than you. Remember the feelings you felt last night. You stopped her from doing something horrible then, you can do it now too.” My steps faltered. I tried to force my feet to move forward. They wouldn’t budge. A frustrated growl tore through my throat. Lavarus stood up straighter, taking a small step in my direction. I slapped against my head, causing the hair to flay around my face as it contoured with anger. “How did Harley getting stabbed make you feel? Feed on it. It has to do with your memories. Something she doesn’t want you to have because it makes you stronger.”
“Stop it! Stop it!” Somehow I managed to wrestle free of her grasp. I lunged toward him. The black lines pulsated with hatred under my outstretched arms. My hands ached to feel his flesh, every soft morsel squished between my fingers. We toppled back, his cane bouncing away as I climbed on top of his heaving chest.
He bucked wildly, fighting me. “What was it, Reese? Did someone you love die in front of you? Someone take a blade to the chest for you? Think about that hurt. PULL FROM IT!”
“Noooooooo!” I screamed, squeezing his neck harder to keep him from saying anything else. His gurgles drowned out the sound of wilderness around us. This was impossible. She was not stronger than me. She mentally tugged at me with a force that felt as if it were ripping me a part. I fought with every fiber of my being against her strength, loosening my grip on Lavarus. He shoved me off, gently massaging his throat and taking a few deep drags of air. I landed on my back, bringing my knees into my chest. My jaw locked so tight the pain seemed to melt into my neck, making the rest of my body stiff.
You can’t control me whenever you want. This is the last time you’ll do that. I’m not weak like you try to make me feel. I. Will. Beat. You. Mentally I’m already there. I’m just waiting on you to realize it.
We’ll see about that. No matter. You still have me inside you. Remember that. You will never fully get rid of me. Just because I can’t force my way out right now doesn’t mean I can’t beat you down on the inside. You will give into me.
I opened my eyes, grateful to see Lavarus hovering over me, still in one piece. I swallowed, barely able to contain what I felt. I covered my mouth with my hands, blinking rapidly trying to come to terms with what had just happened. I beat her. Yeah, I did it last night, but this was different. It wasn’t the heat of the moment. This was me fighting against her and winning. I could do this, like they said. I was strong enough.
“That was amazing,” Lavarus said, unable to keep the smile from his face. I knew the feeling. I laughed. Oh my gosh. It was such a relief to know I had it in me the entire time.
“I did it,” I said more to myself than to him. Sure, she was still there. I could feel her. But she didn’t control me like before. I wasn’t terrified of what she could do. That gave a sense of peace. I didn’t have to be afraid of her anymore. I sat up abruptly. “I still can’t remember anything.” The realization that memories weren’t there dampened my happiness.
He gave me a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry. We’ll keep trying for those. But this … this is a major accomplishment. Don’t let anything else get you down right now. No one has ever been able to do what you just did. She was ready to kill me and you stopped it from happening.”
He was right. I was able to stop her without remembering anything. Maybe I didn’t need them. I could start a life here. It was simple, and it had everything I needed. I frowned as an image of Harley’s face surfaced. I couldn’t keep myself from thinking about him when he wasn’t there and when he was I felt different … complete.
“Do you mind if we stop for the day? I promise to go hard tomorrow.” The need for him became overwhelming the more I thought about him lying in the bed alone in that room.
“If going hard means more than what you did today, I’ll be blown away. Go.” I didn’t need to be told twice. I jumped to my feet, kicking up dirt as I ran through the woods in the direction of the village. It was because of him and what he’d done that I was able to stand up to the darkness.
I gasped for air as I climbed the steps to Lavarus’s room. I clamored inside the opening to be stopped short by Hollywood sitting in a chair reading something to Harley. Awkward. None of the guys had said a word to me after everything that happened. His eyes rolled up until they met mine. He slowly closed the book and placed it on the table behind him. We stared at each other for several minutes, neither of us willing to break the silence. He motioned to the chair in front of him, still not bothering to talk. Despite wanting to reject his offer, I decided to put my big girl panties on and see what this jerk had to say. It was time to settle the bad blood between us. If he said something I didn’t like, well, I didn’t know what would happen. Maybe some type of contact with my hand and his face? I laughed on the inside, noticing his nose was swollen from the hit last night.
I sat, raising my brows in a sarcastic manner waiting for him to talk. After he sat saying nothing I leaned back in the chair, annoyed. He needed to leave if this was all we were going to do. I popped my knuckles, trying to get under his skin. He pushed the chair back, causing it to grate across the floor. Harley stirred, but didn’t open his eyes. Lavarus said he would probably be out for a week or so from the medicine they’d given him.
“I’m not sure if I like you. And that stems back to our run-ins back in Jackson,” Hollywood finally said, pulling my attention back in his direction. “That pretty much goes for any of the ones that ran in your crew. Bunch of self-absorbent pricks who thought just because you’re blessed by a Lordess or trained for a few years that you could hold your own against those that were created for war like we were.”
Hearing the sheer arrogance of his tone caused my back to go rigid with disgust. He thought he was better than me, like I was a piece of filth that should be in awe to be in his presence. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table between us. “Well I seemed to hold my own against the ones created for war last night. How’s that nose feeling today? Need me to knock it back in line?” Please say something else. I was dying to hit him.
He rolled his eyes, turned away, and touched his nose. “That wasn’t you who did that
and you know it. The darkness has power. No one will deny that.”
“I won’t. I should know that first hand considering I’m the one with it brewing inside,” I spat back.
His hands tugged at his hair. “Look, I didn’t want you to sit down to argue with you, which is something I’m very good at and rarely lose.”
“Not lose in your opinion maybe,” I mumbled loud enough for him to hear. He stood, sending the chair backward. He stomped to the other side of the room, breathing hard. Someone obviously had anger issues. He needed to let some pent up energy go somewhere. Maybe the dude needed to get laid. Pssh, he probably couldn’t get any girls with his nasty attitude. He looked at the wall. I could tell his face was turning red due to the blotchy nature of his neck. “If you didn’t want to argue then why did you want me to sit down?” Maybe if he thought I cared enough he would calm down.
“For that man right there.” He pointed in the direction of Harley without turning around. He let out a long overdrawn sigh. “He’s my brother, and I almost killed him last night because of you, which means you mean something to him. If he thinks you’re worth dying for then maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge you.” He paused as if internally struggling with himself. “I’m sorry.” I was shocked. I couldn’t deny it. I never expected a sorry to come from him. He shifted around and was back at the table before I could form a logical response. “If you become who you’re supposed to then we have to fight beside each other, therefore I need to trust you and you need to trust me. I know that may be hard considering everything that happened …”
I looked to my locked fingers. “I mean, you did try to kill me. How do I know you won’t try something like that as soon as everyone’s back is turned?”
Some of the sternness left his face as he glanced back toward his injured friend in bed. “This won’t happen again. I do assure you. But I know you may not think that. All I can tell you is keep your guard up if it makes you feel better. If you die because of what’s inside you, it won’t be because of me. It will be because of that man over there.”
Torment Page 17