The first time I had ever cried.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Reese
I wanted Lavarus to stay with me, but he refused. “This is something you have to do on your own.” The moment he spoke the words, panic took over. I looked back the way we came, considering turning back. Harley was there. I could run to his arms, where I wanted to be. No. It had to be this way. I needed to get these memories back or he wouldn’t accept how I felt about him. What if it changed? My body temperature rocketed. Surely, I would know my own self, right? My feelings couldn’t change. Could they? I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn’t see I was alone until then. Abandoned.
I steadied the beam of light in front of me before continuing. I had to keep going. This was important. I was important. Yeah, no matter how much I repeated that to myself it just didn’t sound real. I was just a girl. A seriously messed up girl who everyone seemed to think was special. Carefully, I rounded a corner to find the passage dropped lower, plummeting into a black hole. I repositioned the flashlight in the other hand. This one was getting really clammy and gross from sweat. I couldn’t help but picture some wild animal or monster jumping out at me. Everything was too quiet for my liking. Here I was stumbling around in a dark mountain, no idea where I was going. What if this place started to cave? I could be buried alive in here. Okay, I needed stop. My mind was all over the place and scaring me to the point of having the shits. I crawled across a large rock, on the other side landing in some water.
“Crap!” Nothing worse than soggy shoes to walk in. Carefully, I walked along the trail of water that seemed to be flowing in the direction I needed to go. At least there was noise now, even if it was only that. I continued down a small path just big enough for me to fit through until I came out in a large cavern. One beam of light shone down in the middle, making a circle of light against the stone floor. I staggered forward, suddenly aware of what I was doing. I might not come back from this. After I drink this stuff he gave me, there is a strong possibility the darkness will own me afterward. A twinge of excitement radiated from somewhere deep down. She was ready for this. I could feel it. No, I had to try; sometimes being in the dark leads us to who we really are.
Cautiously, I took a seat in the circle of light and pulled out the small bottle Lavarus gave me. It was gold encrusted with sapphires along the top. I popped the top, swirling it slightly before putting it to my nose to take a whiff. It actually didn’t smell bad. The citrus scent eased my worry slightly as I tipped it into the air and let the liquid run down my throat. My eyes watered as a burning sensation inflamed my stomach. Okay, maybe the citrus smell was an illusion. I looked up to the light, squinting as it suddenly became brighter. A shrill humming rang against my ears, making me cover them. Something flashed, and I was standing in a room covered in toys.
“Reese, how many times do I have to tell you to get ready? Everyone will be here in a little while for lunch,” an older woman with black hair said. She went to the closet and rummaged through clothes. I looked down at my hands. They were little and chubby. I ran them across my cheeks. Warm and plump. She tossed a shirt in my direction, which I backed away and let drop to the floor. Instead of picking it up like she demanded, I walked to the mirror. I stared at a little girl with something that looked like syrup across her forehead.
“Whe-Where am I?” I turned and asked her. She threw a hand on her hip as her jaw locked.
“We don’t have time for your silly games right now.” She picked the clothes up from the floor and sat them on the bed. “Get dressed.” She stalked out of the room and slammed the door.
“She’s worried about you,” a little voice said. My eyes darted around searching for the source.
“Who said that?” Wings buzzed around my head. I swatted, missing. A miniature man landed on the tip of my nose. He was fat with fluffy purple hair.
“Is that any way to treat your best friend?” His cheeks puffed up, turning an interesting shade of red. His bright pink wings flapped, struggling to support his four-inch body. He pulled something out of this pocket and stuffed it into his mouth, dropping tiny crumbs down my face. I was in shock. The only thing I could do was stare at him.
“One of her best friends, Suga. Just one,” another voice corrected. A skinner man about six inches landed on the top of a stuff animal. His copper, stringy hair wisped through the air as his transparent green wings pulled into his back.
“Just ignore Twig. He doesn’t know you told me I was your best friend the other day. Oh wait … Was I supposed to keep that between the two of us?”
I backed away, swiping the fat one off my nose. He flew over to the other one. “Help,” I chocked out. I dragged in a deep breath before screaming to the top of my lungs. Both of them panicked. Twig flew in my direction, trying to get me to be quiet. I screamed again as I tried to hit him.
“Stop, Reese. You’re going to make your mom or dad come back here. They always get mad when you say something about us,” he said.
Suddenly my door burst open and two people, I assumed my parents, both stood in the doorway with flushed skin. I looked back toward the little men, but they were gone. I raised a shaking finger, pointing to where they were moments before.
“What’s wrong?” my mother asked, rushing into the room.
“There were two little men flying around in here,” I said. She stiffened as my dad let an irritated sigh escape.
“When are you going to quit with these wild stories? There are no such things as fairies, or monsters. How many times do we have to tell you that?” my dad screamed. He racked a hand through his hair, going to a bookshelf and tossing books onto the floor. “Maybe we should take these away. This could be where you’re getting it from.” I shrank back from both of them, huddling against the frame of my bed.
“I guess we’re going to need to schedule more visits with your doctor this week. This has got to stop,” my mom said, standing over me with a disapproving look. I looked toward the window, seeing the two little men on the other side of the glass.
“No,” I said through gritted teeth.
“What did you say?” my dad asked, stopping his destruction of the room.
I pushed back against the bed, my eyes never leaving the two fairies. “I said no. This is who I am. I see things others can’t.” My voice rose, becoming more powerful. “This is what I am, and if you can’t love me this way then I don’t need you!” My fists clenched at my sides.
The walls started to shake, the sheetrock splitting as the crown molding buckled. Stuff animals rolled to the floor and bounced around like kernels of popcorn. Twig and Suga smiled before vanishing into a sparkly mist. Regret lifted from my shoulders. They were friends I disowned because I was afraid to embrace what I was. No more. The roof caved in, knocking me back. Thick dust surrounded me, making it difficult to see. I coughed and sputtered as it filled my mouth, coating my tongue in a gross film.
I waved a hand across my face, trying to clear the air. I stood, carefully weaving through the rubble that lay around me. My hand touched something smooth. I ran it down, grazing the metal of a doorknob. Gripping it, I turned and swung it open, anxious to get out of this room.
I stepped into a pool hall. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the florescent lighting. Country music blared, something about a red solo cup. Crowds of people sang along, their arms around each other swaying back and forth.
“Reese. What are you doing in here? I thought you wanted to stay in the car while we talked to Sim.” A girl with a short blond bob said. She was pretty. Way too much makeup though. And her clothes looked like they were painted on.
“I um, I’m not sure.”
She grabbed my hand and dragged me into a bathroom with another girl following behind. “Savannah, grab the door.” The other girl shut the door behind us. I leaned back against the wall, casting a look at myself in the mirror. I was older now. Probably a high school kid. “Are you having second thoughts about us talking to him?” Who was she ta
lking about? I decided I needed to keep things as simple as I could.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I looked to both of them, hoping they would shed some light on the situation.
“It’s only been a few weeks since he stopped calling you. Maybe he freaked after y’all slept together,” she said. Her voice seemed a little too peppy. She was definitely trying to sugar coat something.
“Yeah so freaked he’s making out with another girl in there. Don’t feed her crap to spare her feelings, Shayla,” Savannah said. “Sim is a piece of shit who needs to be brought down off his pedestal. He’s always thought he could have Reese whenever he wanted, no matter how he treated her. He’s played her into loving him, something he will never bother saying to her.”
“He might one day,” Shayla said. Savannah rolled her eyes and opened the door to peek out. “Is he still out there?”
“Looks like he’s getting ready to leave. Are we doing this or what?” Savannah asked, looking directly at me.
I walked over to the door, gently pushing her back. I peered out and found a guy with his arm draped over a girl’s back, standing in front of the entrance. A familiar urge to go to him caught me off guard. This was who they were talking about. Sim. The one who slept with me and left me. I threw the door open, leaving them calling out behind me. At the sound of my name he turned, his mouth dropping open as his arm left the girl’s shoulders.
“Sim?” I said his name more like a question to confirm I was right.
He rubbed his neck, his eyes darting between me and the other girl like a ping-pong. She hooked her arm around his back as if letting me know he belonged to her.
“Reese,” he said. The moment it rolled off his tongue feelings and memories of all our times crashed into me. I took a step back, gasping for air. The countless nights I’d cried myself to sleep over him after this awful night were a lot to bare all at once. This night he betrayed me. But none of it mattered. As I looked into his green eyes, I melted like a lovesick puppy.
Your life was too hard. Forget how he made you feel. Suppress your feelings and insecurities like you always do. Run from them. Hide. Be a coward. I am all the things you aren’t. Let me fill the void.
I closed my eyes, leaning toward the seductive voice, feeling its strength, something I had always lacked. It wrapped me in a cocoon, weaving a forceful refugee to hide in. No. I can’t give up. No matter how good it feels to let go. I yanked free from the comfort of not having to worry about anything. I would face what I couldn’t before.
“Sim …” I started. The girl pulled him in tighter, his hand now resting on her hip. “I love you. I’ve always been scared to say that when it could have meant something for us, but now that I’m here and seeing this …” I waved my hand at the two of them. “I know this didn’t happen because of me. It happened because you think with your dick, and you will never have a hold on me again. I wish you the best because your future isn’t with me.” His mouth dropped, the skin melting and leaving ivory bones. A bust of wind exploded the skeleton, the shards piercing my skin. I fell to my knees cupping the bleeding wounds.
“What’s she doing?” A voice near me asked. A girl with a blond ponytail studied me while leaning close to a pair of twins. They whispered, laughing before turning back in my direction. I was in front of something that looked like a classroom. I recognized Shayla and Savannah sitting toward the back with two guys. Others were there. A pretty skinny girl with olive skin, a pale guy with gelled black hair, and one other. A breath taking guy with hard gray eyes that bore into me. I looked down. The bloody wounds were gone. I was squatted, making a fool of myself in front of all these people.
“She’s always doing weird stuff,” the skinny girl said. “Remember how she acted in the cave that night we were trying to find the Book of Being?”
“Oh, you guys weren’t there to see her break-down in Boo’s Slut Hut. It was out of this world crazy,” Savannah said.
“There’s got to be something off with her. No normal person acts this way,” the guy with the dark hair said.
Suddenly the one with gray eyes jumped up from his seat and sauntered closer to where I was huddled on the floor. He kneeled in front of me, pulling my chin up to look him in the face. “At least you weren’t sleeping with someone who could probably lose it at any moment and off you in your sleep.”
“True. I guess Ollie has braved the Reese crazy train more than any of us,” Shayla said.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked me.
All of your thoughts and worries are here in front of you. Every time you broke down, every secret you confided, every time you caught a sideways look, was it because they thought you were crazy? It sure seems that way according to your thoughts. Maybe you are.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at him. All my memories came back. All the worries, concerns, and fears I had of what my friends thought of me. They never voiced opinions on how I acted with the exception of Shayla and Steele. But could I really be certain of how they really felt about me being different? Not human? I always second-guessed their quick acceptance. There were always those dark thoughts in the back of my mind that everyone was waiting to lock me up.
“She won’t answer you. I say it’s time to put her in one of the cages down stairs,” Jace said. I pushed back, pressing my back against the wall. All of them stood, circling around me.
“No, please don’t. I’m not like you. I’m not entirely human. That’s why I’ve always acted strange.”
Jace reached for me, yanking me to my feet. “Oh that’s even more reason to keep you in one. That way we don’t have to worry about you gutting my boy here in the middle of the night.” Together they forced me down to the holding containers. The other creatures came to the front of their prisons, their eyes full of sorrow. This was my worse fear. Being tossed away from the people I loved because I was something I didn’t choose to be. It was why I tried to deny myself so many times before. A door screeched open, I was hurled in. My skin grated across the ground, tearing it. I rolled to my side, curling.
“AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!” I wailed. The pain. The betrayal. The hurt. It was too much to bear. Who would understand me if they didn’t? I knew this day would come. I knew it since Boo told me I wasn’t human. This was where they would put me once everyone found out.
“Tossed away like a used toy that no one wants to play with any more,” she said. I looked up as she gracefully came out of the shadows. “It’s a shame. You’ve saved them, listened about their useless lives, and for what? They left you here to starve. Become mad. Alone. We can destroy them.” Her soft hand caressed my cheek, wiping the tears away.
“How?”
She pulled a knife from the pocket of her gown. “With thissssss,” she hissed. “We kill everyone. Look around you. No one cares. They did this to you together. Your Steele, Savannah, or Shayla … none of them stood in your behalf.” Hatred boiled within the pit of my stomach. It felt as if it balled and rolled out of my throat as a throaty growl escaped.
“I hate them all! How could they do this to me?”
“They don’t deserve you. You’re better than them. That’s what makes them afraid. They will only continue to come after you if you escape here. Killing them is the only way.”
I looked down at my clenched fists. “You’re right. They know how strong I am. They won’t rest until they destroy me. I have to kill them.” I reached for the knife she held out to me. She waved a hand, and the door to the cell clicked open. I walked out with more confidence than I ever had in my entire life. I climbed the ladder, determined not to leave this place until all of the their blood was on the ground. Abby and Masey talked near the elevator, their backs to me. I twisted, kicking Masey in the chest before I slit Abby’s throat. Blood poured from the perfect straight line. I straddled the unconscious Masey and drove the blade repeatedly into her chest. Next, I found Jace and Lance in one of the classrooms. Neither of them stood a chance. I left their bodies gutted against the wall. Cov
ered in the blood of my friends, the more I killed, the stronger I felt.
“Reese?” Casey, Dax and Raven said in unison. Their eyes fell over the horror behind me. Before they could run, I attacked them. Slicing through their skin, stabbing until they weren’t moving. I approached the last room, faltering a little at the doorway.
They are the ones that truly deserve this. Once the last one dies, we will be one.
I walked in, stopping to stare at Savannah, Shayla, and Steele. “I trusted you.”
Their eyes went wide. “Reese, what are you talking about? Where have you been?” Savannah ran to me. “Are you hurt?” What was she talking about? They knew where I was. They put me there. “We’ve been waiting on you to come back.” Before she could say another word, I stabbed her in the throat. Blood sprayed out, raining across the wall. She dropped down as I turned toward the other two. My last two. Shayla ran in my direction. I started to run, meeting her in the middle and slicing open her gut before she realized what happened.
“Reese … don’t do this. Think. This isn’t you. This isn’t the girl I fell in love with.” Ollie backed against the wall as I stalked him. “You’re the only reason I wanted out of this. Don’t let her control and manipulate you into doing this. You’ll never come back from it.”
“You locked me away like something we hunt.”
He shook his head. “No, we didn’t. It was her playing with your mind. Making you see things that weren’t real. I don’t care what you are. I love you anyway. You were beating her mind games so she changed your experiences, making you believe that happened. It didn’t. We all care for you.”
My hand shook, my grip loosening. “I have to do this. There’s nothing worth hanging on for anymore. No one to trust.”
Torment Page 22