He shakes his head and insists I take the plate.
“I’d rather not, doctor. I’ll be a gentleman and not be an opportunist.”
“Okay, suit yourself. And don’t complain later for missing an opportunity.”
I take the cookie from him. Actually, I didn’t mean what I said. When people fall in love and want to make a move, any day will do. There’s no need to wait to seize the opportunity when the target person is heartbroken.
I set the cookie plate on the table, along with a cup of extra sweet latte from my best friend’s order.
“Here, your damn coffee. And this, soft-baked cookie. Mr. Mayom sent it to console you for being heartbroken.”
Nadia looks up from his cellphone.
“Wait, what? Who is Mayom?”
“That’s Mr. Barista, silly. His name is Mayom.”
“Oh? Is it? I never knew.”
Nadia downs half of his coffee in one chug, as if quenching his thirst by drinking some water. I take a sip from my cup and it’s damn hot. His cup should be similar. How could this bitchy friend of mine drink his coffee at such speed?
“I never knew, either. I saw his name badge a bit ago. He said the company has a new policy, now employees wear name badges.” I continue to sip my coffee, noticing Nadia turning his focus back to something on his phone. “Whatcha reading? Pay attention to me.”
Instead of replying, Nadia shows me his cellphone screen.
“What?? Eh… Handsome Win, Please Share.”
The Facebook fan page on Nadia’s screen shows many photos of motorcycle taxi drivers. Some are from a distance, like paparazzi shots, and some are closer up. In some pictures, the mototaxi[31] guys pose for the camera willingly, and some are selfie shots. I return the phone to Nadia.
“What kind of crap is this page?”
“Duh, can’t you see? It’s called Handsome Win, Please Share. A compilation of photos of handsome mototaxi guys all around Bangkok, for everyone to take a look. Some of them are so hot and even have a fanclub.”
“Well, yep, I saw that. But I don’t get why you’re looking at it.”
“Look here, don’t you think this guy looks familiar?” Nadia shows me his cellphone again. This time it is a specific post from the page’s admin. Under the photo, a caption says “Young and handsome mototaxi from around lower[32] Phahon. Rd. (Also, not gonna give more clues to you guys, I’m calling dibs on this one, eiei.) Asked around, and they said his name is Mork.”
In this photo, it is Mork, Mr. Win whose station is in the same soi as my boyfriend’s condo.
“Eh… It’s Mork in this pic.” I hand his phone back.
“Yeahhh right. This kid is handsome. And cool too. And tall.”
I frown at my best friend.
“Wait, what? Nadia, you were drunk, weren’t you? Why can you remember his face? In my memory, you slouched and slept and let Mork and me drag you all the way to the dorm, for almost one kilo. How come you recognized him?”
Nadia shrugs, smiling slyly. “Yeahhh I was drunk, but I wasn’t asleep. Look, suddenly a handsome guy showed up and let me lean on him so closely, if I woke up and was able to walk on my own, the opportunity would have been wasted, you knowww?”
Not only does he end his last sentence in a high pitch, it was also followed by a cackle. It has me roll my eyes. Where the crap is the gloomy Nadia who’s suffering from a broken heart? Does this mean that all the time he’s been hanging his head, he was simply sneaking a peek at handsome guys?
“Hey, you.” I’m not hearing the end of it from Nadia. Not yet.
“Do you know if Mr. Mork has a date already?”
“Why do you want to know?” I ask in return.
“Wellllll, if he happens to be available, I’ll sing a song to him and ask ‘Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number, so call me maybe. And all the other boys try to chase me but here's my number, so call me maybe.’"
He doesn’t only sing, but also makes a playful and flirtatious face while imitating the dance from this song.
“Silly you…” I turn to him and shoot him a look of pity. “Mork is younger than us. Maybe he doesn’t even know of that album. He’ll only get confused and wonder what kind of crap this hulk sissy is singing!”
Nadia glares at me. “Dawww, hulk sissy, yeah right! You’re a cute, little bottom. Midget sissy! Let me tell you what. That day, when you carried me, my shoulders were killing me. The support on one side was so tall my foot was almost lifted from the ground, while the other side was so short my hand was almost scraping the ground.”
“Okay, next time I won’t rescue you when you’re dead drunk again.”
“Awww, pat pat you. Come on, I was just kidding.” Nadia teasingly pets me on my back and shoulders, then sneakily moves onto my head. Meh…my bitchy best friend doesn’t know respect.[33]
“Ah, here. Have some of my cookie and reconcile, and then we’re good. We’re good, right? Kiddo.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Nope, are you nuts? Mr. Mayom gave it to you, not to share between us. Just eat it, don’t hurt his feelings.”
Then, I crane my neck to look at the barista, now making coffee for a customer. The coffee bean grinding machine hums its crunching tune in the background.
“Nadia… Don’t you think he’s hitting on you?”
I ask quietly, although it’s not necessary.
“Nayyy, he’s a shopkeeper, he has to be nice to everyone. Correct?”
Nadia takes one bite from the cookie. “Oh, this is delish! I should eat this again sometime.”
“Really? You think he’s nice to everyone? I don’t think so. He seems…” I glance towards the barista before gazing back at my best friend who’s seated in front of me. “He seems to be exceptionally caring towards you.”
Nadia takes another bite off his cookie. “Aren’t you reading too much into it? Hey, it’s understandable, you’re in love now. Everything around you seems blissfully beautiful, sweet and aromatic, and in pink, because love is in the air. But believe you me, he’s not hitting on me, Tawan. I’m sure about it.” After that, he finishes off the last bite of the cookie… A whole cookie in only three bites, that’s some epic appetite he got.
“Don’t be so sure, Nadia. Maybe you read it wrong.”
I take the last sip of my coffee.
He shrugs. “Okay, if he’s into me and wants to hit on me, he should make it clearer, not just making vague moves that leave me guessing. That’s ambiguous, and I don’t like it.”
“Aww, maybe he’s just too shy. Not everyone is as shameless as you.”
It’s my chance to settle a score, and I take it. This morning I feel like he has made too many biting remarks on me, so I have to fight back, or he’ll think I’m an easy target.
“Then, let me ask you, Tawan.” Nadia lifts his cup to finish the rest of his coffee. “If there’s someone who doesn’t have enough courage to show you that he loves you, will you choose that kind of person as your significant other?” He then relaxes back into his chair, leaning against its backrest, then crosses his arms and wiggles an eyebrow superiorly.
“If someone is in love with me, yet has no courage to make it clear, letting me feel in doubt and be busy consulting everyone on whether or not he likes me, that’s called spineless. And do you really want that kind of person, who doesn’t even have the courage to free you from the doubts…”
Nadia uncrosses his arms and flicks the end of my nose once.
“...to be your partner for life? Use your brain, Tawan.”
“Owwww, that hurts, bitch! Why’d you keep flicking my nose?”
I rub the end of my nose repeatedly.
“Well, ‘coz I begrudge you your prominent nose.”
He sticks his tongue out at me. “Time to go, it’s almost seven. Let’s hurry up for the ward rounding.”
Without waiting for me to reply, Nadia gets up and exits the shop. I grab my bag and follow him outside while looking back at the barista and
flashing a grateful smile in his direction. That’s why I notice him trailing Nadia with his eyes.
Meh… It’s so obvious that he has feelings for Nadia. Why isn’t he making a move? Or maybe he thinks what he’s been doing is clear enough so there’s no need for more actions. But each person has their own standards of how clear is clear enough. To me, what he’s doing now is fairly clear already. But the problem is, it doesn’t meet Nadia’s standards.
Nadia mentioned courage…
It has me thinking. Nadia said if the person doesn’t have enough courage to make it clear and show him, then the person isn’t a desirable life partner. On the other hand, I feel that we should also show some courage. Right? If we sense that someone has feelings toward us, and we also feel the same way, should we just sit around waiting for the person to show their courage? That’s unfair.
Perhaps love actually sprouts from both parties’ courage meeting halfway.
If both persons know that they share mutual feelings, and both decide to brave it and take a step out of their own comfort zones, they will become closer to each other. I think if you keep sitting on your hands waiting for the other person to be the only one to muster courage and show the feelings, then, it’s difficult for a relationship to take roots.
But from another perspective… What if we pluck up our courage and go forward, yet the person doesn’t step out to meet us…? The more I chew on this for an answer, the more questions pop up.
To me, love is really a difficult matter.
…………
“Was this morning tiring? Here, eat lots.”
My dear P'Por says while spooning some of the Chinese kale and crispy pork belly saute onto my plate.
“Thank you, darling. Not really. My patient line is full, so there’s no new case at all.”
Although I dislike Chinese kale, I make myself eat a mouthful of it. Oh well, my dearest is sweet enough to put some on my plate, how can I tell him that I can eat all vegetables except kale?
“What about you, P'Por? How was it? Are you doing okay? This morning you said you weren’t feeling quite well.”
He nods. “It’s manageable. It wasn’t this bad this morning. But the dental clinic is air-conditioned and my nose started getting stuffy and runny. And I’m feeling feverish.”
“Oh no, really?”
Startled, I touch his forehead by reflex before realizing we’re in the middle of the hospital’s cafeteria, among a crowd. But he does not contest. He simply sits there and lets me feel his forehead for temperature.
“Oh… You’re indeed feverish. Have you taken any fever reducer?”
“Not yet. But I’ve requested and got some pills, will take them after this meal.”
I nod, reaching into my bag to get a box of instant ginger tea, and put it on the table for him. This morning he said he felt a cold coming on, so when I arrived at the hospital, I rushed to the convenient store and bought it.
“Drink some ginger tea to speed up your recovery. When I was a kid, my grandma always made a pot of ginger tea for me when I was ill. I fully recovered before I could even finish the pot.”
He smiles, shaking his head. “What’s this? You’re a doctor, why are you telling me to drink ginger tea? When we’re sick, what we need is medicine. We have plenty of modern medications. You’re too funny. Are you really a doctor? Haha.”
Oh...meh! Why?
Whenever I was sick, ginger tea helped me recover.
Why is he not believing me? On top of that, he laughed at me.
“Thank you, my dear Tawan. But I’d rather not. I don’t like ginger drinks. It tastes...a bit too hot.”
He grimaces and then flashes me a smile, showing his perfect teeth. At least this smile can partially soothe my deflated heart from before. He reaches over to touch the back of my hand.
“I don’t want to take meds, or anything else. I just want my personal doctor to take care of me when I’m sick. Pretty please?”
I feel my face burn, and bow my head down to hide the smile.
“Um...yep, okay.”
“And give me a shower tonight as well.”
Then, he sticks his tongue out at me.
This makes me lower my head even more. Okay, you might think I’m ridiculous and that I shouldn’t be embarrassed by such little things, as we have done it together and have been sharing the bedroom for a long time. But I was honestly flustered.
Though we’ve seen each other naked and slept together, it doesn’t mean I’ll be immune to embarrassing moments like this.
Don’t you forget, this is my first boyfriend.
“Uh… And are you going back to work? You have a fever, shouldn’t you get some rest?”
I changed the subject to ease my embarrassment, hoping my flushed face will return to normal before he notices it.
He shakes his head. “That won’t do, Tawan. I can’t postpone the patients’ appointments, because it will affect other patients’ schedules in the next few days. Other dentists also have their own patients’ appointments already. You understand it, right? When you’re sick you still come to work.”
“But dental appointments aren’t always urgent.” I argue.
He nods. “You’re right. Well, if my fever gets really bad, I’ll take a sick leave. But for now…” He gently pats me on my head. “I can do it. It’s okay. Come on, let’s finish eating. We don’t have long. Gotta go separate ways back to work soon.”
“Alright, Pho Por.”
…………
“Let me ask again. Can anyone take my duty on Loy Krathong Day? I’ll even take your duty double-fold in return. Pleaseeee?”
I try to avoid making eye contact with my coworker when she’s pleading. Today we received the duty schedule rotation list for November. And Loy Krathong is the day everyone tries their best to avoid… So we always have to draw lots to decide. And it fell to this coworker. But she hasn’t given up and is trying to trade it away.
Come onnnn… Let me at least enjoy the holiday this once.
Because I want to go float my Krathong[34] with Senior Por.
Ever since I was a medical student, then an intern after graduation, and now a resident doctor, I’ve never shunned a duty on holidays. For long-weekend holidays like Songkran or New Year, if no one wants to take the duty slot, I would be the first one to volunteer. Because I was single. So I have more than enough time to spare for peers who really want to take the days off on holidays to spend time with their loved ones.
Besides, both of my parents are in Bangkok, I can easily see them often. Plus, during long holidays, they love to go on a vacation all by themselves, leaving their sons sitting at home in Bangkok. So, to me, long holidays aren’t special at all. Taking days off is pointless. That’s why I was a regular face for holidays duty slots. I’ve always taken the duty during Loy Krathong every year...until now.
Well...it’s the first year of me having a boyfriend.
Anyone would want to celebrate Loy Krathong with their special someone, right?
Long ago, I used to be free on Loy Krathong once, and ended up getting dragged by Nadia to enjoy the festivity in a temple fair near the university. We accidentally got separated among the vast waves of people. I lost my wallet and had to walk back to the university because I had no money to pay for the ride fare on a two benched pickup truck taxi. After that, I never went to any Loy Krathong fair, ever again. Let’s just say it has been a truly unforgettable experience for me.
But this year, it is different…
It’s the first year with my “boyfriend.”
I want to float my Krathong with P'Por.
I haven’t asked him yet, but he’s a dentist and he doesn’t need to take duty rotations like the rest of us. So, he should be available for the day. And celebrating Loy Krathong with your date is a common thing, isn’t it? I guess this setting is by default. Everyone knows that when you’re going steady, you go float the Krathong with your partner… Right? I’m correct, I guess.
&n
bsp; Therefore, this year will be the first year I’ll ever get to float my Krathong with a boyfriend.
…………
“Hello, Mork.”
Tonight I left work quite early. The cases in my line are the old existing ones, so it didn’t take long during the handover, as all of the coworkers have already familiarized with those cases. I arrive at the start of the condo’s soi before seven o’clock. Then, I see Mr. Mork, a usual face at the motorcycle taxi station.
“Oh, hi, doc. Today you’re back early.”
I frown at him. “Don’t call me doc. You know my name now, call my name instead.”
“Phooey, doc, your name has two syllables. Can I just continue calling you doc? I’m too lazy to pronounce longer words.”
He smirks playfully at me.
My Ride, I Love You Page 10