by Sara Schoen
“That I’d help you. I just wanted to help...” Her voice cracked as if she was about to cry. “I heard you in the hallway as you were leaving. You said that ‘the more of us working on it the better.’ I have no idea what’s going on, but I wanted to help. I came here to help you.” Her voice crackled again under the emotion. She put her face in her hands and started to cry. I tried to sooth her, but she didn’t let us. She cried harder. As I stood there, unable to console her, I felt horrible for making her cry. She had done the wrong thing and I felt bad. What kind of world is this?
I looked to Camo for help, but she glared me down. Without saying a word, her gaze went from me to Shadow and back to me to tell me to fix it. She didn’t stop crying, even after a few minutes, like I hoped she would. I sighed heavily and eventually took the seat next to Shadow. “Hey, I’m sorry I upset you. I just didn’t want you to come along because this is something Camo and I have to do together.” I looked at Camo again who nodded and gestured for me to continue. “But as she pointed out, I can’t do anything about it now. So, if you’re going to stay, you have to agree to follow all my orders. If you don’t, then I’m sending up back to CIRA with Maverick and he won’t be happy to hear he had a stowaway mess up his precious plane.”
Shadow instantly perked up, her tears forgotten and a bright smile replacing the deep-set frown she once had. “I can do that! Thank you for forgiving me.”
I leaned away from her slightly, taking in her bright smile and clear eyes. She faked it. The little shit faked her tears. I was about to call her out on it when Maverick called that we were landing. Camo and I buckled up and waited through the decent. He landed quickly, plopping us down near the compound.
“Welcome back to Washington you guys. I hope you’ll enjoy your visit and come back safely.” Maverick’s voice echoed over the intercom before I heard him laugh and shut it off. Camo was the first out of her seat, with Shadow and me following her. Maverick met us at the door, and gave us a quick reminder of how to jump the four feet to the ground. I tried not to look ‘annoyed’ as he called it, but I knew how to make a safe landing. I didn’t need the reminder every time I flew with him. “If you guys need anything, let me know!”
“Actually, I do need something...” I glanced back at Shadow, who shook her head profusely. Clearly, she saw where I was going with this. I’ll teach her not to lie to me... I turned back to Maverick, who looked as if I was about to ask him to kill an innocent civilian.
“If you want me to something then it can’t be good.” He leaned against one of the chairs and waited. I moved past Camo, pulling Shadow behind me, as she prepared herself to jump. I physically handed Shadow to him and wrapped his hand around her wrist.
“I need you to take her back to CIRA, and you should keep a close eye on her, Mav. She’s wily. Don’t let her fool you either. She’s a good liar.” I glanced at Shadow before leaving, she looked defeated, but I didn’t buy it. Somehow, she could fake emotions so easily. I wasn’t sure I could trust what she seemed to feel like, but I didn’t dislike her. I didn’t like being lied to, but being kicked off the mission should teach her a little bit. “Good luck.”
“I should be saying that to you,” he said just before I leapt from the plane. The drop was quick, I tucked when I was supposed to and landed without a problem. Then I stood up and waved to Maverick so he knew I was fine. I noticed Shadow’s grief had shifted to a full-blown pout as Maverick ordered her to the front of the plane.
“You know she’ll follow us, right?” Camo asked as Maverick closed the door. “Somehow she’ll come back. She’s just like you.”
“I’m counting on it. I actually know how she’ll do it to,” I replied, turning away from the plane and heading towards the compound. The building was half burnt and some parts still had a soft smoke billowing from them. I noticed three figures outside the compound waving toward us. “She’ll just get out of the exit he has in the front of the plane and get out before he realizes. But now she’ll have to stay back so I don’t catch her. It will keep her safe and prevent her from being under foot.”
“When did you become such a softy?” Camo teased.
“Shut up.” I walked away, heading towards Spit Fire’s team and leaving Camo behind. I wish leaving the past behind me was as easy as walking away from Camo, but just like her, everything came back. This was just something else to deal with, killing the wrong man, finding the right one, and ending him. But how could we be sure this time? Would killing really help? Time to find out.
Chapter 13
“It’s nice to see you again,” Renegade chimed as he approached me with his arms spread wide. I hugged him once we were close enough and he gave me a tight squeeze. He hadn’t been gone for more than a few weeks, but it still felt good to see him again. I liked having my team together and seeing that everyone was safe. I favored Renegade more, but that comes naturally after dating for a while. We knew that missions came first, but still cared for each other. It’s nice to have someone like that in the agency. It’s something I never thought I’d get. “I don’t mean to alert you, but you seem to have a shadow.” Renegade released me and nodded his head behind me so he wouldn’t point to her.
I flicked my hair out of my face to give me a chance to look for Shadow. I saw her peeking out from behind a tree. She’d be killed if she were in the field right now. She had chosen a poorly concealed spot. She felt hidden, but I could see her perfectly. I was half-tempted to shoot the tree she was hiding behind, but that would defeat the purpose of keeping her away. Once I made it clear I knew she was here, she’d be in my way. I didn’t need that nor did Renegade’s team. Though we’d really have to work on her skills when we got back to CIRA. She doesn’t know how to sneak around. I’m going to have to teach her before she goes into the field for a real mission.
“Yeah, I know I do. Just ignore her for now, it will be better like that.” Renegade didn’t question me. He pulled me close to him again and lead the way toward Spit Fire and Sandstorm. I glanced around the area, pleasantly surprised that there wasn’t a lingering smell of death. I’m sure I had the rain to thank for that, but the building still hadn’t been fully put out. It was only smoke now, but as I got closer there were small fires still burning inside the building. Eventually they’d die out or our team would deal with them so they wouldn’t burn anything important. “Tell me what you found out since you called CIRA.”
“I see you still like get straight to the point,” Sandstorm chimed with a tingling of laughter as he walked by. He had a box in his hands, heading for Spit Fire. “I thought you would have gained some patience while waiting for missions. Isn’t that basically in your job description?”
“Yeah, you’d think, but I still like to get right to it. It makes for a smoother conversation because I don’t beat around the bush.” I gave him a playful smile, which he returned. For a moment, I was reminded of all the times we had growing up. Sure, we didn’t always get along. I had a few scars from him beating me up, and had shed more than enough tears for the lessons he taught me, but I still loved him. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but it worked for us. Though, I’m not sure what Mom would say now if she could see us together. I cringed at the thought and quickly returned to the matter at hand. This is why I get to the point. It doesn’t let me my travel and bring up old, painful thoughts. “Now tell me what you found before my shadow gets closer. I’m trying to keep her out of this until I’m ready to share.”
If I ever share that is, I silently added as I peeked out of the corner of my eye. I noticed Shadow moving in the tree line behind Camo. Her sped was exceptional, but she had no concept of stealth. Camo’s smirk told me she was trying to hold back a laugh. She must have heard Shadow’s comic attempt to stay out of sight. She had a lot to learn. I shook my head and turned back to Renegade who had a bemused smile on his features. He knew me too well. He’d know that was my recruit and what I was doing eventually. Unless she gave it up first, which at this rate she might. Thankfully, with
Camo a few feet away from us, it would force Shadow to stay back so she wouldn’t be able to hear anything we discussed unless she got crafty. Which I wouldn’t put past her. She’s already proved that.
“Here’s what we have.” Renegade gestured for me to follow him. We followed Sandstorm through the building, Camo staying a few feet behind us the entire walk. I hadn’t gone very deep inside the buildings during the raid until the end. Buildings were too tight for fighting. Learned that from almost getting crushed in the explosion. I needed space to duck behind and move. Otherwise I’d be useless with my fighting style. I could move around, but I wouldn’t have time to attack. I had been fighting cartel members outside, using trees as cover and to get the upper hand. In here, there was nothing to hide behind, just open space. I would have been a moving target, but useless to my teammates.
Renegade banished the memories of the raid when he slammed a stack of papers down in front of me. I glanced up at him, tilting my head to the side in confusion. I had clearly spaced out and didn’t hear anything he had said. I glanced at Spit Fire, who was digging through the desk the stack of papers rested on. She didn’t even look at me. I turned back to Renegade. He stared at me for a moment, possibly waiting to see if I’d say something, before he explained. “We discovered the real masterminds behind not only our parents’ deaths, but also our recruitment. It turns out that they are from a different cartel who did business with the Cardozas.”
“Why are we just finding this out now?” I picked up the papers, but there was too much to sort through right now. There had to be over one hundred sheets of paper, and most of them didn’t make any sense at first glance. There were a lot of numbers, very little explanation and none of it seemed important. I’ll have to look through it later. I didn’t understand how they knew what it meant, but as long as someone could explain it to me I guess it didn’t matter.
“The Carrera Cartel was looked at while I was undercover, but I never found anything on them.” He shrugged. I didn’t blame him, but I knew he would. Anytime he let something slip by him, he felt responsible. There’s no way we could be responsible for everything going on around us, but we needed to stay vigilant. The Carrera’s, whoever they were, had gone through great lengths to keep themselves unknown. How was he supposed to know about them? “It’s probably because Camden never knew about them as more than a business partner.”
I nodded. I could see Camden not really talking to people he traded with. He’d just want the money and the power. He didn’t really care for the actual business if I remember correctly. “Now that you mention it, there were a few trades we broke up early on. Were the Carrera’s one of them?”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. They are seen more as businessmen. They have businesses across the country, which employs hundreds of people per business. As far as anyone knows, the Carrera’s are clean, but if you look further into it...” He flipped through the papers I had left on the desk. He seemed to be searching for something specific, but it took him a few tries until he found what he wanted. He stopped digging through the pile and put the pages he wanted me to focus on were on top. “The problem with having that many people working for you, someone always finds out and that’s what happened to us. We thought it was a coincidence we had both been recruited by CIRA and that our families were targeted. Not so much anymore.” He tapped his index finger on the sheets. I took them from the stack and started reading. There were logs from weapons trades and other illegal activities. One of which had my father’s name on it. “Each of our fathers figured out the weapons trading or money laundering and wanted to bring it to light. Well, the Carrera’s couldn’t have that.”
I looked over the papers to see Renegade’s and my father’s name. They were in two different companies, found two different problems, and it got them killed. I started shaking, I didn’t want to deal with another cartel. I wanted to be done with them and move onto something else. CIRA had so many opportunities, would I always be stuck with cartels? I sighed heavily as I weighed the options. “We aren’t in any shape to take on another cartel right now. We’re lucky we can still move around easily. I just got out of the hospital wing, and no one else is exactly in great shape after the raid.”
Renegade shook his head. “I’m not saying that we take on a whole cartel. I’m saying we find the one man responsible and end it there.”
It sounded good in theory, but it never worked out like that. If we kill a cartel member then they come after us and we have a new problem. I glanced at Renegade, fury burning in his eyes. I knew that look well. He wanted to go. I looked back at the papers in my hands. Shouldn’t I want to go as well? Why was I so hesitant? “If we could get the one man, I would agree with you, but there’s no way to get just one man.”
“Actually, there is,” Sandstorm commented as he handed me a file. “The guy we are looking for is the boss of both businesses where Dad, Renegade’s dad, and where Camo’s father met him. If I had to guess, since they were all on the East Coast, he was responsible for them all. So, when a problem came up he was needed to solve it.” He shut the file and looked me in the eye. Even though he was a naturally surly person, he seemed more serious than usual. “He’s the connection. He’s why our families are gone. I don’t know if he’s the reason we were all recruited, but Demon said to me that he recruited people who had a tough past. They could be the reason because we survived. Don’t you want to know? Don’t you want to finish this?”
I didn’t really want to. I thought I had already. Did I really want to go down the rabbit hole again? What would my family want me to do? That’s why I did it the first time. I thought it was right, but is it? Did I do it for myself or them? I shook my head. I definitely didn’t want to go down that road. I looked up to Sandstorm who was practically begging me to consider the idea. I sighed. “Where are they?”
“Not far from here. We could end this now and figure out what is really going on with Mark Avery.”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure about this plan, but seeing the determination in their eyes. I knew they’d go no matter what and I’d rather be with them then take a back seat any day. “Fine. I’ll go, but we need a plan. I’m not going without one and neither are you two. I want this done right so we have the best chance of getting out unscathed.” Both boys agreed and immediately started planning while I sank to the floor mentally exhausted. What did I just get myself into?
Chapter 14
I sat in silence as the boys went to work planning on how to handle the cartel. They worked as if their lives depended on it, and didn’t bother to ask for input. I was, in a way, thankful because I didn’t have anything practical to add. They were excited while I was about to throw up at the thought of going through this again. I put my head on the part of the desk Spit Fire hadn’t covered in papers. I had risked lives, my own mostly, acted out, and fought for my family. Now knowing I hadn’t done anything, but get rid of a hitman left me empty. Was anything Ash said true? Was it all just a story to make me suffer more? It didn’t make any sense, but then again, nothing with cartels did. They worked in their own ways and played by different rules. What was Ash’s game? Why torment me and make me think he was the one who put the hit out on my family? What did he have to gain from that?
“If you dwell on it then you’ll only make it worse for yourself,” Spit Fire said in a low tone. I wasn’t sure she was talking to me at first, but when I lifted my head, her green eyes pierced into my soul. Spit Fire hadn’t even hinted that she heard anything being said around her. How could she know what I was thinking about? She’s been there before, I reminded myself. She’s still there. Spit Fire hadn’t looked up from the papers since I walked in. It seemed like she was looking for something ultra-specific. She had killed the man she needed to, but it left us with more questions than answers. If he was alive, we wouldn’t have to do this, but we couldn’t bring him back so now she had to do the work.
No one blamed her. I surely didn’t, but I could see it in her eyes.
She blamed herself, and probably did for more than just killing Mark. I had seen her cry for our fallen agents and the inconsolable grief she carried around with her echoed her feelings. Nothing I could say would make it better and I knew she’d do the work no matter what. So, I didn’t want to stop her, but I couldn’t listen to Sandstorm and Renegade plan anymore. I wasn’t as into finding this man as they were. I couldn’t figure out why, but I knew I wanted to distance myself a little bit. Even if it meant hearing what I didn’t want to.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I picked up a few of the papers in front of me and started to look at them. Spit Fire didn’t seem to have them organized in any particular way. They were all probably useless, but I needed something to do with my hands. I couldn’t just sit here and wait for the guys to agree to a plan.
“I think you know better than most people what I’m talking about.” She plucked the papers from my hands and put them into a new stack on the opposite end of the desk. Subtle, I thought as I shifted in my chair for a more comfortable position. “Would you like me to tell you why you don’t really care for finding the person they are looking for or do you want to figure it out for yourself?” Her gazed leveled with mine as she waited for an answer. I didn’t have one though. Did I want to know? How much would I regret knowing once she told me. “I’m waiting...”
I picked up a few more pieces of paper, which she quickly took from me and pushed out of my reach. “Are you expecting to find something in this mess?” I asked, completely changing the subject. I didn’t want to be psychoanalyzed. I knew why I wasn’t interest. I just didn’t want to come to terms that I had somehow moved on from the accident. Was it worth ripping open old wounds?