by C. T. Phipps
“She’s not very good at it,” my sister Anna said. She was also drenched in blood with a bullet hole in her head.
I didn’t like this dream.
The wires were digging into my skin now, sewing in and out, binding me. Still, I fought, putting everything I had into crawling another inch forward.
“We all know what you do next, Morgan,” Peter said. “I just want to see it this time.” He had his notepad, ready to take notes.
Too many sins all around me. I felt the last of my strength ebb away as the Wire-Woman just kept laughing.
“You were never good enough for me,” Mac said before catching fire alongside everyone else around me.
When I awoke, there was only blessed silence aside from the sounds of a shower in the next room. It took me a minute to recognize where I was, but then I hadn’t really spent much time here. It was the upstairs of the Scarlet Woman strip club. I only recognized it from the big neon sign outside of the large window that gave a view of Halloween Row. It wasn’t where the casinos were but was just off them for bored tourists interested in seeing a sexy vampire show without paying for the big casino shows’ tickets.
My head hurt like it had been hit with the backend of a claw hammer and there was a deep hunger in my stomach that made me feel like I was starving. I wasn’t suffering from any injuries and the sword was sheathed on a nearby glass table. The upstairs apartment was a lot nicer than I would have expected for the second floor of a strip club. Third? I was having trouble remembering how many stories this place had. It looked like one of those loft apartments on television that no one could realistically afford other than millionaires.
It had black leather couches, red shag carpeting, and lots of framed heavy metal posters along the wall. Mostly of sexy women but a few sexy men too. There was a fully stocked bar, a refrigerator, and a pool table. I also noticed a control for bringing down metal shutters on the windows. Okay, I was in a vampire’s apartment. That made sense since the Scarlet Woman was a vampire strip club. Then it made no sense again because why the hell was I there? If Alex had brought me here then he’d moved on from teenagers to bloodsucking hussies.
Or it could be Tracy’s apartment, in which case I probably should retract the bloodsucking hussy comment. I should also question my life choices if this place was hers since it was about twice the size of my place and I thought I’d been doing well.
“What do you think, magic sword?” I asked, looking over at Zadkiel.
It didn’t respond.
“Huh,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I guess you can’t talk when sheathed. Convenient.”
No, I just have nothing to say, Zadkiel replied.
Also convenient, I said. I’ll just wander around this den of iniquity then.
Sins of the flesh, when sins they be, are out of my purview. Humans worry a great deal about the unimportant matters when the Great Sins are what should be called to task.
The Great Sins? I asked.
Rape, murder, idolatry.
I agree with two of those. You won’t get me to drop Supernatural Idols, though.
Not what I meant but as you wish, Zadkiel said. You should be safe here, though. The evil I sense here is minimal and undirected at you.
But not nonexistent, I asked.
No, Zadkiel said.
I pushed myself up into a sitting position and took stock of how awful I felt. I had been in two supervillain fights in one day and my body felt like it was one big bruise. My Goodwill TV lawyer dress was covered in slime and a dozen burn spots. I was also covered in slime but seemed to lack the burns. I ran my fingers through my black hair and found to no great surprise that it was caked with a combination of dried goop with volcanic ash.
Given I kept it long enough to reach down my back, it was going to be a royal pain to clean all of it. I asked myself again why I kept it that long instead of doing something more manageable with it, then remembered the answer was mostly a seething mix of society having programmed me to feel better about myself when I felt attractive and men liked really long hair and I was never, ever going to turn my back on all the time I had spent growing it out. It would be like admitting defeat and I only did that in dreams.
The sounds of the shower ended and, moments later, Alex Timons stepped out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but sweatpants and a towel wrapped around his shoulder to emphasize his muscles. He was another thing in my life that looked like something from a TV show. It was a pity we hadn’t been able to make it work.
“Ah, you’re awake,” he said.
“You were hoping I’d be,” I said. “So as not to waste that entrance.”
“Am I that obvious?” Alex asked.
“Empath,” I reminded him. “Thanks for the attempted rescue.”
“It’s not attempted if you’re alive,” Alex said. “Which you are, for now.”
I chose to ignore the for now. “What happened?”
“I teleported you here,” Alex said. “Clara, Jessica, and Bella made off with their prize.”
“You know who they are?” I asked, surprised.
“Clara Brock, Bella Martin, and Jessica Krucheknyn,” Alex said. I was impressed he could do the third woman’s name perfectly. “Three Accursed criminals that have been up and down the United States performing crimes for the past few decades.”
I blinked. “I’m pretty sure we would have noticed those three Pre-Reveal.”
Alex picked up one of the bar stools and plopped it in front of me. I had difficulty not looking at his chest. He was built like a swimmer and probably could have landed a spot on a reality dating show. If not The Bachelor then one of its knock-offs.
“They’re known for using glamours to appear normal. It’s just their source was killed recently. When I say Accursed, I mean that literally. They’re cursed to look like that. In the 1940s, they were kidnapped by a vampire fairy lord and taken to his realm.”
“Vampire fairy lord?” I asked.
“A fairy lord turned into a vampire,” Alex said.
“Oh, silly me,” I said. “Like a vampire werewolf wizard.”
“Actually possible.”
“In bad movies starring Kate Beckinsale,” I muttered.
“Those aren’t bad, just not good,” Alex said, cheerfully. “He tortured them, changed them, and misused them until they somehow got away. By that time, though, they could only appear as human rather than being human.”
“They don’t look like they’re from the 1940s,” I muttered, suddenly feeling a lot guiltier about trying to pummel them to death. Then I remembered the tentacle girl had tried to kill me and only wished I’d hit harder.
Alex and I had a lot of complex feelings and that was before we’d broken up. The two of us had met during one of his investigations of a Pre-Reveal murder his bosses had dumped on him that I was following up on, on behalf of the victim’s family. In the end, we’d found out the victim was “alive” and well as a vampire, having run away to be in a lesbian relationship with her creator.
The former had bothered the parents more than the latter. Alex had stuck around for a few months after, most supernatural crimes happening around Michigan’s heartland, but we’d butted heads as often as we’d made love. Still, he was one of the few serious relationships I’d had and the only one I regretted letting end.
“Immortality comes with the curse,” Alex replied. “As long as their master lives, they don’t age, they have animal-like bodies, and superpowers.”
“Some people would find that a pretty good deal.”
“And they’re his slaves,” Alex said.
“Starting to sound a lot worse,” I said, suddenly feeling a bit worse about referring to fairykind as Tinks.
“Uh, this will sound strange but my sword mentioned a Nakoso,” I said. “What’s a Nakoso?”
“Were I to use my genius detective skill, I would say that he’s their former master. The aforementioned vampire fairy lord.”
“Smartass. Also, this is wh
at the Reveal has brought us. Now all the supernaturals are mixing up. It’s not cool enough to be a vampire lord. You have to be a wizard vampire. Look at Dracula. He was scary enough as a vampire.”
“Dracula was a wizard. He trained at the Scholomance. Both in real life and his fictional counterpart.”
“Scholomance?” I asked.
“Satanic Hogwarts,” Alex said. “It’s a school of magic run by the Devil. Stoker mentioned that’s where Dracula got most of his powers.”
“Huh, you learn something new every day,” I said, unimpressed. I’d heard the real Dracula had been killed by the House in 2008. “So, the Nakoso turned them into a lizard woman, bat woman, and uh, Cthulhu girl.”
“Hagfish,” Alex said, handing me a bottle of aspirin. They just appeared in his hands as if, and probably were, by magic.
I gladly took the pills even though I was very thirsty. “Could you get me a glass of water?”
“Yes,” Alex muttered. “I imagine you’re very thirsty.”
Alex got up and headed to the bar, where there was a faucet behind its counter.
“So, why were they trying to break into a bank?” I asked, trying to put this altogether. “And why were you after them? I thought you were down in Bright Falls, playing footsie with the local wildlife.”
Alex paused, frowning. “Jane and I aren’t seeing each other right now. I also think that’s racist against shifters.”
“You dumped her for someone out of a training bra?” I asked, not really wanting to bring up his love-life but I couldn’t resist.
“I remind you that you’re older than me,” Alex said.
“By two years. You’re like six years,” I said, embarrassed. That was when something clicked. “Wait, the weredeer’s name is Jane? What’s her last name? Doe?”
Alex stared at me.
“Oh my God!” I said, instantly feeling better. “That’s hilarious.”
“Yes, it’s lovely,” Alex said, bringing me back my water in a glass. “Are you finished?”
“Nope!” I said, smirking. “I’m having too much fun twisting the knife on my ex.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Drink this. Rehydrate. The vampire blood in your system healed you but just barely.”
“Wait, vampire blood?”
“Yes,” Alex said. “Don’t worry, you’re no one’s slave.”
“Good.” I scooped the glass of water up and drank it down. “So, what happened with Bambi?”
“She started dating my foster brother,” Alex said, dryly.
I paused, looking up. “Uh, the really hot one? I mean, even hotter than—”
Alex raised an eyebrow.
“I mean the weredragon!” I said, suddenly correcting myself. “The crime lord weredragon?”
Man, and I thought my family was screwed up.
“Yes, him,” Alex said. “I only have one. I think he is better suited for Jane another than me.”
“In that they’re both bastards for cheating on you?” I said, immediately coming to his defense. “They deserve each other!”
Okay, what was wrong with me? Was the vampire blood making me woozy?
It has caused multiple effects on your body, Zadkiel said. I am unsure if it is the result of my magic interacting with the vampire blood or a quality of your genetics. You have multiple inhuman ancestors.
You take that back, I snapped at him. I am one hundred percent human.
Very few humans are, Zadkiel said. Humanity itself is a product of not being entirely human.
I had no idea what that meant.
Evolution joke, Zadkiel said.
Angels believe in evolution? I asked.
Being as it happened, yes, Zadkiel said.
Alex rolled his eyes. “I don’t blame either of them. Jane or Lucien. I wasn’t the best boyfriend to Jane. I did the same thing I did to you and others: I let the mission come first.”
“Maybe you should date my sword,” I said.
He’s not my type, Zadkiel said.
What is your type? I asked.
Asexual, Zadkiel replied, showing angels had a sense of humor. Well, a sense of humor other than dry sarcasm.
Alex ignored that comment. “As for your other comment, there’s a serious backlog of cases dating back to the founding of this country. All the vampires may have immunity for their crimes dating Pre-Reveal but that doesn’t apply to other supers. The Terrible Trio have been sustaining themselves with bank robberies, burglaries, and credit card fraud since their return. No murders, that we know of.”
“Ooh,” I said, pausing. “I’m sorry but don’t you normally go after serial killers?”
“I don’t work for the FBI anymore,” Alex said, frowning as he fixed himself a water. “I work for the Men in Black.”
“Like Will Smith’s Men in Black?” I asked. “I thought you were joking when you mentioned that.”
Alex frowned. “The government decided to gather up ex-House agents, mages, and even the occasional vampire or shifter to form a task force to deal with supernatural issues. It’s not actually called the Men in Black but they’re playing off the image. BOSS has proven an enormous clusterfuck and they’re wanting something more effective.”
I was surprised anything was effective in the current government. “How’s that working out for you?”
“Not terribly well,” Alex replied. “I’m currently in the doghouse with them. This is a low-priority punishment assignment.”
“Don’t you mean deerhouse?” I asked.
“I don’t think deer have houses,” Alex said, pointing out why the bearhouse joke wasn’t funny.
Speaking of which I needed to find out whether Bryce and Tracy were okay. “My companions at the bank, are—”
“Everyone survived at the bank with only minor injuries,” Alex said, simply. “You’re a hero.”
I frowned. “Well, that’s something I could have gone without being called again.”
“You don’t need to—”
“Stop,” I interrupted him. “I regret being the Red Widow. The fact I’m currently in Tracy’s apartment above the Scarlet Woman is just an irony I don’t want to deal with.”
“It’s not Tracy’s apartment,” Alex said. “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
“I’m very hungry,” I said, unsure for what. “But shower first. I look and feel like I just survived a B-horror movie. I’m not sure you have enough hot water for me to get all of this gunk off.”
“Maybe you’d like a helping hand?” Alex said with a grin. Apparently, he’d reached the rebound stage of his breakup with Jane (snigger) Doe. I had to admit I wasn’t entirely averse to the idea since rebound sex with an ex was uncomplicated and enjoyable—and if I told myself that enough times, that I sometimes believed it.
“Alex, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but in my experience shower sex is less romantic than the movies make out, and more awkward, clumsy, and someone getting elbowed in the gut accidentally.”
“This does not stop me from wanting to find out for myself. Sue me for being a passionate experimentalist.”
Unfortunately for Alex, getting clean had to be the primary goal of the moment. Luckily for me, whatever this crud was that Hagfish Girl produced, it was water soluble if you worked at it long enough, and I got my hair back to something approaching clean, even if it took forty-five minutes of washing. That was at least 20 minutes longer than Alex’s hot water lasted.
“Okay,” I said, still brushing my hair to get it somewhere close to manageable. I was wearing a bathrobe from the his and hers in the bathroom. “Someone has to know something about this Nakoso.”
“You’ve decided to join my case?” Alex said, now dressed like the fit and trim FBI agent he previously looked like.
“You’re damn right,” I said, simply. “Nobody shoots at my friends.”
Alex smirked. “Is that all?”
“Also, my bounty hunting business has been suffering lately,” I said, grimacing. “Some good publicity
would be welcome. I don’t suppose the FBI has set aside any discretionary funds for hiring a consultant?”
As we talked, I searched for something to wear. I wasn’t putting my slime-soaked clothes back on, though, so I checked the closet and found an enormous collection of heavy metal t-shirts and men’s clothing. There was also a large pile of women’s clothing in a variety of shapes and sizes. I ended up putting on a bright pink Bright Falls Pangolins shirt as well as a pair of leather pants that hugged my butt in a tight but not displeasing manner.
I also, in a nod to the Nineties, picked up a fanny pack and put my cellphone in it. Not the most fashionable choice in outer wear and I wondered who the owner was who had so many female guests leaving behind their clothing, but it would do. I also nicked a leather jacket and hoped the owner didn’t mind.
“There we go,” I said, looking myself over. “I look like a casting call reject for the remake of Hackers.”
“I assume you’re playing the Angelina Jolie role,” Alex said.
“I don’t think I can pull off Johnny Lee Miller,” I replied.
Man, my stomach was really nauseated right now. Also, hungry, which was not something I normally associated with nausea. I could smell Alex’s neck as well. Wait, what? I did my best to clear my head of that.
“Ashley, we should probably talk about something else,” Alex started to say.
I leaned in and opened my mouth, wanting to bite his neck. I pulled back at the last second. “Alex, why the hell did you bring me here? Was vampire blood really the only thing you could think of doing to keep me alive? I mean, were hospitals too much of an ordeal?”
“Hospitals couldn’t help you,” Alex said. “Besides, I knew at least one vampire who would do anything in his power to keep you alive.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who?”
The door proceeded to open and Arthur walked in. “Hey, is she finally up?”
Chapter Eight
Family Reunions and Ex-Boyfriends
Arthur Morgan was wearing a long black leather trench coat of the kind he’d used to wear but of a much more expensive quality, a red Halestorm t-shirt that showed some things never changed, and a pair of black jeans. Arthur had let his hair grow out to his shoulders as well as grown a thin beard. He’d lost about forty pounds and was simultaneously bulky yet thin as if being dead had caused his organs to atrophy. He wasn’t bad looking, at least as a sibling could think of him, but had an oddness to his features that made him stand out in a crowd. He’d also taken to wearing sunglasses at night. That was the stereotypical vampire fashion—probably because many of them forgot to blink after a while.