How am I going to let her go after the premiere? It’ll be weeks before I can see her again when I’m home for Christmas.
It’s early in the morning and the light has just started to pour through my blinds.
I’ve been awake for about ten minutes, watching her lying peacefully in my arms.
She stirs, stretching her back, and her eyes flick open. She looks startled for a fraction of a second. “Spencer,” she whispers, her cheeks turning pink.
“Good morning,” I say.
“Morning.”
“Are you okay?” I ask, half expecting her to pretend that last night didn’t happen.
“I’m good. Last night was…”
“Please don’t say good.”
Laughing quietly, she shakes her head like I’m crazy. “It was so far beyond good.”
I run my fingers across her jaw. “It was. No closing up on me now, okay. We can’t go back after last night.”
“I know we can’t.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“It’s what I want.”
Good. It felt inevitable from the moment I walked into my parents’ kitchen and she was standing there with a glass of wine. We’re not kids anymore.
“I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She says the words as if she’s worrying that I will do a runner. Absolutely no chance of that.
I sit up in bed and wait for her to come back.
A few minutes later the bathroom door opens. Her smile is full when she looks at me. “Well, hi again, Hollywood.”
“Fuck me, you’re beautiful.” I shake my head. “You should never wear clothes when we’re alone.”
“New rule, huh?”
“I think it’s a good one.”
She climbs back into the bed and snuggles into my side.
“You’re not sore, are you?” I ask. I tried to be gentle, but the more into it she got, the less control I had… and when her nails dug into my back, that was it.
“I feel amazing. I didn’t know it was going to be like that. I mean, you see in the movies that it’s perfect, but friends have said your first time is often awkward and painful.”
“You were very ready.”
She arches and eyebrow. “So were you, if I recall correctly. You didn’t suck in the sack.”
“Did you honestly think I’d be a crap shag?”
Laughing, she snuggles closer. “That’s not what I thought. Sex is even better than people say, and they talk it up a lot.”
“Sex with you is better. Not all sex is like that.”
“If I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly?”
I don’t think I’ll get the same.
“Let me guess, you want to know how many women I’ve slept with.”
“Well, yeah. No getting weird, though.”
She sits up. My eyes slide to her breasts then back to her face.
“You gave up your virginity last night, and you don’t think me telling you how many other women I’ve slept with will get weird?”
“No, because we’re not going to discuss it. I don’t want to know who or when or any of those details. If you give me a name, I’ll have someone to hate… and assassinate.”
“You have ninja training?”
“I’m a fast learner. How many, Spence?”
“Two. And, yes, that includes you.”
“Two?” Her frown is adorably insulting. How fucking many did she think it was?
I nod and take her hand, curling her fingers between mine. “One at my old high school. We were together a couple of months… but she wasn’t you.”
Her jaw drops.
“It’s a nightmare, Indie. I compare every woman to you, and none of them come close. I’ve been waiting for you—waiting for things to calm down so I could get home and try to make things right between us. We never should have broken up. I mean, I know why we did, and it was probably best at the time, but it was also stupid.”
She bites her lip.
“You don’t need to admit you were waiting for me. We both know.”
“Who’s the smartarse now.”
“Let’s go out and do something. We have ages before we need to get ready for the premiere.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh my God, your parents are in the apartment!”
I full on belly laugh. She really was in the moment. “Where did you think they were?”
“They heard us have sex!”
“They heard you. I made sure not to get all shouty.”
She turns red. “I am never leaving this room again.”
“Fine by me.”
“Be serious.” She playfully slaps my chest. “How can we face them?”
“We’re twenty.”
Letting go of my hand, she throws her palms up. “They’re still your parents. Do you think they definitely heard? Was I really that loud?”
The memory of my name on her lips while inside her will stay with me forever.
“They were watching TV. I shut you up pretty quickly.”
She curls into my lap and buries her face against my chest. “But… do you think they heard?”
“No, I think we’re cool.”
“Thank God, because I’d like to do that many more times before I leave tomorrow.”
Tomorrow night. They have a night flight out at nine-fifteen. I hate the distance and the time zones. I have one day to make this count. We’re going to end up being in a long-distance relationship, and she is going to be cool with it.
I need to make some calls and try to keep her out of the spotlight. At least until I can get her to open up about… whatever is going on.
“I can call in sick, and we can do nothing but that.”
Her body shakes as she laughs gently. “Yeah, call in sick to your first premiere.”
“There will be others.”
“They won’t be your first.”
“Other firsts are more important.”
“Ah, everything else is post-first time now, though. You can go to your premiere happy.”
I can die happy. “Fine, I’ll go. We’ll ditch the after party early and come home.”
“That, I’m okay with. Now, how do we get out of your room?”
“That one’s easy. There’s a big wooden thing on the wall called a door. You walk through it. Wait, first you open it, then you walk through it.”
She sits up. “You’re wasted on acting.”
“Go out there and act normal. My parents aren’t going to say anything.”
“You go first.”
“Seriously, Indie?”
“I’m deadly serious.”
It looks like I’m getting up. I take a quick shower while Indie chews her fingernails clean off and rests on my bed. She’s ridiculous.
I walk back into my bedroom, naked, rubbing the towel over my head.
Indie’s eyes darken.
Smirking, I ask, “Everything all right?”
She averts her eyes; cheeks pink and mouth curved. “Fine. I’m going to shower now.”
“Need a hand?”
Grabbing her clothes, she walks past me and presses her mouth shut.
While she’s getting showered, I pull on some clothes before I head into the kitchen.
Mum and Dad are sitting at the table, drinking tea.
“Morning,” I say.
Mum leaps out of her chair. “Today is the day! I can’t wait to see your movie. My little Spencer starring in a movie. A Hollywood movie! How amazing.”
“We’re proud of you, son,” Dad adds.
“Thanks, guys.”
“What would you like for breakfast? I bought all of your favourites at the supermarket. You know they call it the grocery store here?”
“Yes, Mum. Bacon and eggs? And sausage.”
“You’ve got it. Is Indie up?” she asks, tilting her head.
We can all hear the shower running.
“She’s in the bathroom,” I tell her, turning away to make coffee.
>
“Love.” Dad’s stern tone is a warning to Mum.
I look over my shoulder to see he’s giving her the look. The one that makes her stop in her tracks and evaluate what she’s about to say or do.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
Mum claps her hands together. “Are you and Indie an item?”
An item. Who calls it that?
“We’re… I don’t know. There’s no label yet.”
I couldn’t be talking more shit if I tried, but the last thing Indie needs is to come into the room to Mum’s big celebration.
Mum’s face lights up, and she makes a high-pitched squeal that almost shatters glass. “Oh, that’s wonderful.”
I raise my palms. “Slow down. She’s not ready to jump into anything serious.”
“Love, you two were always going to be serious.”
“I know that, and so does she, but she’ll run if you say it.”
Mum’s shoulders sag. “I wish we knew more.”
“I’m working on it. Please don’t do or say anything to freak her out.”
“We won’t,” Dad says, and Mum nods in complete agreement. “You have our word.”
“I am so happy for you. She’s the only girl you’ve ever loved.”
Yeah… she is.
Twenty-One
Indie
I’m dressed, my hair has been curled, and I have make-up on. Chanel is making me smell delightful.
There is nothing else left to do, and no reason why I would still be in Spencer’s room other than the fact that I’m a massive chicken.
We had sex. Twice. It was quite honestly the best night of my life. Spencer Lowe was mine in every way imaginable.
I place my hand on the door handle, and I take a breath.
Get a hold of yourself!
I open it up, my heart thudding. If they mention anything about last night, I think I might die.
Heat pools between my legs as I recall the memory of Spencer inside me. I’ve never been so turned on and so needy before. I was hot all over, and the only thing in the world that made sense was to have him inside me. It was everything I hoped my first time would be.
Do not think about why. You’re allowed a little happiness.
“Hey,” I say, walking into the kitchen.
Spencer looks up, and his eyes say a lot. All of it filthy. “Hey.”
I think my heart just exploded.
Jodie grins at me over her shoulder. “Bacon and eggs?”
Andrew chuckles under his breath, says a quick good morning, and goes back to his paper. We’re going home tomorrow; I don’t know why he’s reading an American paper. Maybe it’s an old one and he’s reading to distract himself because he knows. Oh, God.
“Thanks.”
I grimace, twisting my hands together behind my back. This is so awkward. They know we know they know. Why couldn’t he have gagged me?
Spencer passes me a mug of strong coffee. He read my mind. “Thanks,” I mutter again, taking the mug.
“Act normal,” he mouths, smirking as if he’s really enjoying this. He probably is.
I can’t act normal when his parents heard me orgasm last night!
“What are your plans today?” I ask Jodie. Usually, I would go and stand by her but I’m keeping my distance since I slept with her son last night.
“Andrew and I are going to see those stars on the walkways. We’ll try to figure out where Spencer’s will go.”
Spence looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head.
There has been a lot on social media about him in the last few days—lots of pictures of him coming and going from the appearance he made yesterday. I watched Twitter explode, while I laid in his bed.
“Let’s wait until after the movie is out. It might be a complete flop,” I say, smirking at him.
He cuts me a look but doesn’t bite.
Jodie laughs and dishes up our breakfast.
“Well, let’s leave them to it, shall we?” Andrew says to Jodie.
That’s just great. Eggs and bacon for the people who just had sex.
They leave the apartment with shit-eating grins, and I want the earth to swallow me whole.
Spencer is chuckling when I turn back to him.
“You said they didn’t hear!” I hiss.
“I said I think we’re cool.”
“Excellent. I need to change my flight.”
He steps closer, eyes burning. “Change it to next week.”
I wish.
How am I going to spend eleven hours on a plane with his mum grinning at me? I’ll throw myself out of the door at thirty-eight thousand feet.
Another step forward, and Spencer’s in my personal space. I can smell his soap and shampoo. I’m probably going insane but I’m sure I can smell me on him, too. Like a little piece of me is ingrained in him forever. I can still feel where he was last night thanks to the most beautiful ache.
It takes me a second to look up. When I do, I’m dizzy. Spencer’s eyes, sharp and hungry, stare me down.
“You graduate uni in the summer.”
“Yeah,” I whisper. The intensity in his gaze has stolen my voice.
“If I’m still here, will you come?”
It’s suddenly very humid in here. I swallow. “I… I need to find a job.”
“Indie.”
“It’s not that easy, Spence.”
“Why not?”
Because my parents can’t be alone for too long. Someone has to check on them. They’ve been crap at keeping in contact, but Mum has gotten around to replying to my messages in the mornings before she starts drinking heavily. How can I leave them for a whole week? Even when I move out, I’ll have to still go back there.
“I need to work. My career needs to be a priority.”
Being free is a priority.
His jaw tightens.
I grab his wrists before he moves away. “That doesn’t mean you’re not. Can you understand that I need a job? I will come, Spence, but I can’t stay for as long as we both want me to.”
His reply is a kiss. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him. His lips are rough against mine, his anger and hurt evident in the way he holds me tighter than necessary.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur into the kiss.
He pulls back. “Let me in here,” he says, tapping my head and then placing his hand on my heart.
“You’re already in there,” I tell him, placing my hand over his on my chest. “Can’t you feel that?” My heart is racing for him.
The question is on the tip of his tongue: What’s the deal with your parents? I can tell.
“I’m not hungry, Spence. Let’s go back to bed.”
I win. He picks me up and carries me to his room.
It’s a beautiful warm evening in LA, and I’m standing on the side lines, watching Spencer on the red carpet with Ella and Ethan. I couldn’t be prouder of him if I tried.
The place is packed with paparazzi and fans. There are lots of women screaming and cheering. Mobiles are being held up, taking pictures of everyone walking the carpet.
I always thought the atmosphere at these things looks amazing when I’ve watched them on TV. I was right.
Andrew and Jodie are with me. I think Jodie might actually explode soon. Lights flash as thousands of photos are taken of the three stars.
The movie is tipped to be the best action film of the year, and I can’t wait to see Spencer on the big screen.
“He’s a natural,” Jodie says as Spencer stands for photos and offers interviews. He took his time to scribble his signature for people over the barriers, too.
My heart swells as Spencer walks with Ethan, both of them grinning from ear to ear and waving to adoring fans.
I nod. “He was born to do this.”
The realisation of how different we are punches a hole through my chest. I could never do anything like this. I don’t want to talk to strangers and have my photo taken.
How are we ever going to work?
<
br /> I keep my smile because I honestly couldn’t be happier for him. He deserves this, he’s worked so hard, and his talent is raw and endless.
My Spencer Lowe, the movie star.
“You okay?” Jodie asks when Spencer and his co-stars disappear into the building. The crowd is still going wild. People are shouting Spencer’s name and holding up signs about how much they love him.
“Fine,” I reply. I don’t want to think about what time we have left or how broken I will be when it’s over.
Just enjoy him.
Being happy is weird. I never thought it would come with so much fear. If this is how it feels, I question why everyone is in the pursuit of happiness. It’s like ordering off Wish.
We’re ushered into the cinema to wait until the screening. It doesn’t feel good to ignore Spencer, but it’s too risky to be seen with him. I’ve already been out twice, and we haven’t been caught. Let’s not push it.
There are celebrities here who Mila would be working like a professional. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have her confidence. I do sneak some pictures of them to show her and Wren. They’ll lose it when they know I’ve shared the same air space as Carson Black.
I go to the bathroom when Jodie and Andrew begin to mingle with the stars. My make-up is fine, but I pretend I need a touch up. Holding onto the sink, I look at my reflection in the mirror.
What are you doing here?
My eyes sting with tears.
It feels like I’m a million miles away from home, pretending to be someone else.
I can do this for him. My unease at being here and being around all of these important people doesn’t mean anything compared to Spencer.
Think of what Wren and Mila would do.
They’d grab a drink and make the most of the evening. Mila would have a selfie with everyone in the building; security and managers included. She would flirt with celebrities, and probably Jared and Denny, too.
Smiling so I’m only ever seen as a happy, supportive friend, I walk out of the bathroom and join the crowd. Cheerful voices, clinking glasses, and laughter fills the room. I catch Spencer chatting with Ethan and a woman I’m sure I’ve seen online, but I can’t be sure.
Just Like the Movies Page 12