“Prepare me for what? What’s going on, Uncle Martín?” I ask as I shift my weight on the wooden stool.
“Felipe wants to stay here, with his cousins. He wants to finish high school in Spain.”
“What?” I utter in surprise, somewhere between laughing and crying. “He doesn’t want to come back to Portsmouth? Are you serious?”
“I am, Teresa. Maybe he wants to go to college in the States; he hasn’t made up his mind yet.”
“But...” I have so many questions, but at a loss for words. Was I so wrong taking him back home? Didn’t I see the signs when he turned from a fairly happy boy to a troubled teen ever since we got here? Was I so busy, or rather obsessed, with making a living for us?
“Listen, Teresa,” Uncle Martín says softly. “Felipe is welcome to stay with Pilar, me, and the boys if he wants, but you’re his legal guardian, he still needs your permission. I told him he was welcome, but he needs your consent.”
My stomach sinks. “But his life is...with me.”
“I know. And he’s aware of that, but he said you found someone, and he confessed he felt miserable ever since your return to America.”
“Oh God...” I say, rubbing my forehead. “I was already afraid of that. We came to the island when he was only six, but I never intended to stay forever, since this is the country where we were born and raised. I always wondered if I did right by taking him back here again, even more so lately.”
“He was fourteen at the time, a difficult age to move to another village, let alone to another country. He misses his cousins, Teresa. They get along so well. I can’t blame him if he wants to finish high school with them. He told us he hardly has friends back home.”
After a few seconds of complete shock, I ask, “What do you think, Uncle Martín? I only want what’s best for Felipe.”
“You told me he’s smoking marijuana and his grades are bad. I think it would do him good to stay here for another few years, and then, when he’s eighteen, he can decide wherever he wants to live and wherever he wants to go to college. He’s got the best of both worlds, but, and this is my honest opinion, I also think he needs you by his side. He talks a lot about you, wished you were here too. He needs family, Teresa, and you’re the closest to him when it comes to a mother. He’s still only sixteen, and Pilar doesn’t want to take over that role from you.”
I’m lost. “What are you saying?”
“Why don’t you and Felipe stay with us for the next two years? Maybe you can sublease your restaurant. Look, I know this is a lot to process right now, and I haven’t factored in you’ve met someone. Is it serious?”
I nod at the little screen. “We’re getting there. And he cares about Felipe, but his life is here.”
“I understand. In the end, this is your and Felipe’s decision. Pilar and I will help you where we can, and don’t forget the two of you will always be welcome to stay.”
“Thank you, Uncle Martín. That will make the decision so much easier.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. What do you want me to say to Felipe when he comes back?”
“Tell him,” I say as my eyes fill with tears, “tell him I want him happy. And tell him I’m coming to Mallorca as soon as I can get a flight, and that we’ll make the decision together after we talk. “I’ve got to go, Uncle Martín! Someone’s calling me. Chau!”
Overcome, I end the call and break down in tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
joshua
“I decided, spontaneously, to make a major lifestyle change, starting in...” Ed checks his watch. “...about thirty-five minutes.”
“The suspension is killing me,” I say, refraining from rolling my eyes. Every year it’s the same damn thing.
“I’m giving up cigarettes.”
I nod. “And with you, millions of others around the world, half of which will fail. What makes you think you’ll succeed this time?”
Ed glances at Emma. Tess told me she hates smokers with a passion. Must be real love then if he quits for her.
“This time I’ll succeed,” he says with an idiotic smile from ear to ear. “I found a new way to keep myself busy.”
Emma kisses his lips. “I’m proud of you, Ed.”
“Good, because I’ll need you to keep my mind off cigarettes.”
“Oh baby, I got you covered in that area, and it’s keeping you in shape as well,” she adds with a naughty grin.
“And, what’s your New Year’s resolution?” Ed asks her after they’re finally able to keep their hands to themselves. Christ, they’re touchy-feely.
“Let me think,” Emma says as she picks up her sangria and stirs her drink with a cocktail straw. “Ah, right,” she says after a moment’s thought. “I’ll start eating less fatty food, less carbs for sure, be less direct to people, learn Spanish so I can properly order chicken instead of cock when in Spain, adopt a cat from the shelter, oh no, already did that last year...”
I glance at Tess as Emma sums up her New Year’s resolutions. She’s quiet, and it almost has me worried. I lean in. “You okay?” I whisper.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
I have a hard time believing that.
“Your turn, Josh,” Emma says.
“Oh, uh, always reaching for the next star. And I think I’ll pick up a Spanish class with you, so I can make sure Tess and Felipe aren’t gossiping about me when they have a little private chatter in Spanish, shutting me out.”
Emma giggles. “Good luck with that, pal! But let me warn you, those two switch from Spanish to a dialect of the Catalan language just as easily as they switch clothes, sneaky as they are. If you thought Spanish was hard to follow, you’re in for a big surprise once they start talking in this...vulgar Latin. Really, if they want to talk shit about you, they’ll do it while smiling in your face.”
“Thanks for the hint.” I tilt my head to the side and smile at Tess. “Your turn, dahlin,” I say in my own vulgar accent.
“What?” she asks absentmindedly. The frown is still there.
“We’re waiting for your New Year’s resolutions. You know, love, success, happiness...”
“Why don’t you go first?” she suggests.
I stare at her, dumbfounded. “Because I already went.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”
It’s clear she’s struggling to keep her tears at bay. I lean toward her, and ask softly, “What’s going on with you, Tess? I’m going to need an answer.”
She lowers her eyelids, hiding her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You’ve been absent all evening,” I insist, hoping to force an answer from her.
“Please, Josh,” she whispers, pulling back. “Not tonight. Not here.”
I think differently, and rise from the couch, taking a flabbergasted Teresa with me. “Then we’ll go somewhere else. Excuse us,” I apologize to the others.
“It’s almost twelve!” Tess calls in an attempt to change my mind. Unfortunately for her it doesn’t work. “And I still need to wash the grapes.”
I narrow my eyes. “What?”
“The grapes,” she says with a sigh. “It’s a tradition in my country at New Year’s Eve. We need to eat twelve grapes at midnight.”
“Why?”
“To ward off bad luck.”
The fuck? “Are you fucking superstitious?”
She raises her shoulders nonchalantly. “It’s just a few grapes. It’s not that I avoid walking under ladders. Well, I do, but that’s for practical reasons. Ladders can be unsafe, and better safe than sorry, right?”
I elevate my brows. “Yeah, whatever. Let’s go.”
She whirls her head around as I curl my fingers around her elbow and usher her from the living room.
“I’ll take care of the grapes, sweetie,” Emma says sweetly. “You can count on me.”
“Thanks, Em!”
“She’s superstitious,” I hear Emma explain to Ed, “so we better stuff a grape at each bell strike in our m
ouths. It symbolizes twelve lucky months ahead.”
“Cool.”
I help Tess into her long woolen coat, and then shrug on my own jacket.
“Can’t we just talk in the kitchen? I really don’t want to miss–”
“No,” I say, adamant. “We’re going for a stroll.” I hear myself sounding slightly annoyed, but that’s just because she’s hiding things for me.
She cocks her head, and there’s absolutely no two ways around it. She looks stunning with her wavy hair up in a kind of ballet bun, and that tiny black dress will bring a man down to his knees and have him worship that delectable body underneath.
“Are you mad at me for some reason?” she asks, raising her left eyebrow.
“No,” I say curtly. “It’s concern. You’re a passionate woman, Tess, even when you’re mad at me or your brother. I experienced it at first-hand.” I yank open the door. “But I’ve never seen you this...somber. Dispirited. Something’s going on, and I plan to find out what it is, blow by blow. If we miss the grapes, so be it. I’ll find you a rabbit’s foot to protect you against evil spirits.”
“Very funny,” she says, then sticks out her tongue as she walks past me outside into the cold, freezing weather.
“Where’s your beanie?”
“I can’t wear one, Josh, since I put my hair up for tonight’s party. You know, the party we’re about to ruin.”
“They have sangria,” I counter, watching her wriggle her fingers into a pair of knitted gloves. I throw my arm around her shoulders and pull her close to me to provide her my warmth. We turn left and saunter through Bow Street in absolute silence, pass the historic brick warehouses, and arrive at the park in just a few minutes.
We sit down on a bench, where we have a sweeping view of the harbor. The cold and crisp air bites at my face, and I know we can’t be here more than a few minutes before we die from frostbite. What in hell was I thinking, taking her outside in this freezing temperature?
I stare at Tess. Her nose is dripping from the cold. “Maybe we should have that talk in the kitchen after all. You’re too cold.”
“I’m good, Josh,” she says, sniffling.
“Come here.” I shove her way over the bench and wrap my arm around her. “Tell me what’s going on with you tonight, baby.”
“Josh...” she sighs, then falls quiet.
“Tell me the truth, Tess. Don’t hang me up.” Something comes to mind. “Is it that picture in the paper this morning? I mean, I never thought they would be onto us that fast. If it bothers you that they’ll find out who you are, then we’ll beat them at their own game. I’ll make an official statement about us, about who you are, and ask them politely to leave you alone. And if they don’t, hell, I’ll sue the fuck out of them for every picture they take without our consent.”
“You can’t. What they’re doing isn’t illegal. You of all people should know that. But it’s not about the picture.” She cups my cheeks with her gloved hands and leans in. Her lips are cold, but her tongue is warm and sways lazily and tenderly around. Another minute and I’m down on my knees.
Worshipping her.
I need to break it off before she makes me forget why we’re here in the first place. “What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper, tracing my fingers along her cold cheek.
“It’s Felipe,” she finally says.
“What? Damnit, Tess, why didn’t you tell me before? Is he in trouble?”
She quickly shakes her head. “No, he’s fine.”
“Then what?”
She exhales. “Felipe is not returning to Portsmouth anytime soon. He wants to stay on Mallorca and finish high school over there.”
“You’re fucking kidding me?”
“No, I wish I was, though.”
“Well, are you letting him? You’re his legal guardian, right?”
“What do you want me to say, Josh? I can’t tell him no. He’s miserable here, you’ve seen for yourself.”
“That’s bullshit, Tess. You can make him finish high school here. If he’s eighteen, he can go anywhere he wants.”
“I want him happy. That’s all I care about. I dragged him here when he didn’t want to come. I shouldn’t have twisted his arm.”
“Well, I suppose they have holidays and vacations in Spain too. It’s not the other end of the world. You can visit each other.”
“I go where he goes, Josh,” she says, her voice cracking. “He’s my little brother.”
“What does that mean?”
“For us, you mean?”
“Yeah, damn right for us.”
“I guess I’m leaving for Spain,” she says softly.
I let go of her and bend over, leaning my elbows on my knees, and staring in front of me. “What about the restaurant?”
“I’d have to close it for an uncertain amount of time. Emma will continue the workshops on her own. I’ll be back for Lola’s wedding, of course. I’d be honored to make her wedding cake.”
I cast a look over my shoulder. “Since when do you know this?”
“Since this morning.”
“And you didn’t think I wanted to know right away? I mean, this involves me too, right”
She nods heavily. “It does. It involves you very much. I’m sorry, Josh. I just needed more time to get my thoughts straight, to figure it all out.”
I clear my throat. “It seems like you already have.”
I get up when she doesn’t answer, and walk toward the water, then turn back again. I’m experiencing a mixed bag of feelings. “I understand you want to go where Felipe goes, at least until he’s old enough to take care of himself. I’d never want to compete with him over you. I’m not your ex-fiancé, and won’t force you into anything. Felipe needs you, and he deserves to be happy.”
“So do you,” she croaks. “I’ll set you free if that’s what you want, Josh.”
“Fuck that!” I curse.
“The truth is, I’d follow Felipe to the other side of the planet, and, I’m so sorry, but I don’t see any possible scenario where I can work on our relationship while I’m taking care of my brother the same time on the other end of the ocean. I love you, Josh, but I won’t claim you. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“How noble of you, Tess,” I say sarcastically. “Will you return at all?”
“Yes, it’s just until he finishes school.”
“What if he wants to go to college in Barcelona or Madrid? Or in freaking Bogota?”
“I’m coming back,” she says with a determined look on her face, sniffling again. “I know I have to let him go, just like my parents would have, but this is too soon.”
Her tears are streaming now. She turns her face away from me, and I know I’m not the only one feeling miserable.
Behind us, the church clock strikes midnight, but neither one of us seems to care.
“Let’s go back,’ I say softly, holding out for her hand.
We saunter back to the house the same as we came; in total silence.
Emma flies of the couch the moment we step inside the living room. “Where have you guys been?”
“We went for a walk,” I say quietly, glancing at the bowls filled with grapes. I’m sorry for Teresa we missed it, but not even her damn grapes could have saved this New Year from becoming a disaster.
In terms of sex.
In terms of love.
Emma presses two quick kisses on my cheeks, wishing me a happy New Year, then whispers in my ear, “Eating those grapes to welcome the New Year was very important to Tess. It reminds her of her parents, who always upheld this old Spanish tradition. You ruined that for her.”
I close my eyes and rub my forehead. What the hell did I just do?
Emma jabs her index finger into my chest. “You better find a way to make it up to her!”
“Hey man, are you okay?” Ed asks as Emma strides across the room.
“No, I’m not,” I reply, raking my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry for ruining the evening.”
; “No sweat, Josh. Things...happen. You want us to leave?”
I glance at Teresa, who’s wrapped up in a deep conversation with her best friend. I bet they’re dressing me down. God, I fucked up big time.
“Do you mind? I’ll explain tomorrow.”
“You’re not splitting up, are you?”
All I can do is shrug.
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. Happy New Year for you and Emma, though. Make it work!”
“Thanks! Take care, okay? Let’s go, Em!”
After we said goodbye to our friends, Teresa starts cleaning and wrapping up whatever’s left of the little dishes she’s prepared.
“Leave it, Tess. I’d rather sit down and talk to you about your upcoming move.” And find a way to keep you here, I think, or a solution that works for all of us. “How soon will you be leaving?”
She puts down the glassware on the kitchen counter and turns back, bags under her eyes evident. “Well, tomorrow as a matter of fact.”
My head drops in disbelief. “Tomorrow?”
“Just for a short period of time. I have to talk to Felipe first and find out how serious he is about his move to Spain. If he is serious, then I’ll help him settle, find a school, things like that. Then I’ll return and take care of business here before I definitely move back.”
I nod slowly as I hold her gaze. “Take care of business... does that include me?”
“Josh...”
“When were you planning on filling me in?”
“After Emma and Ed left, which is about now.” She bends over and picks up the rest of the food. “This will still be good tomorrow, so you don’t have to cook. I’ll put it in your fridge.”
“Leave it!” I say, annoyed now. She’s acting as though nothing’s going on, while she just made my world tumble down the moment I finally thought we were going somewhere.
The moment I realized I’m truly happy again.
“Food shouldn’t be wasted. Isn’t that your motto?”
“I have a lot of mottos when it comes to food, but I can clean this shit myself. Go home, Tess! Go pack your things.”
“I have time.”
“What time do you need to be at the airport?”
Joshua Page 23