“Now this is the sight I’ve been waiting for,” Neil’s deep voice came from behind me and I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to get my racing heart under control before I turned to face him.
I pushed myself up to stand as Neil slowly walked toward me. Moonlight sliced across his razor-sharp features, and if I had thought we were harkening back to high school, nothing proved me more wrong than the sight of him right now. He was nothing like his teenage self. He was all man now. Strong and sexy with cleanly defined lines. Gone was the baby fat that had filled out his face with a childish cuteness. He was sex on a stick… no, not a stick… he was much too muscular to be compared to anything like a stick.
My breath caught in my throat, and my toes curled against the dock, the rough, wooden planks biting into the bottoms of my wet feet.
Right now, in this moment, there was nothing I wanted more than Neil.
His steps were slow and heavy, his posture tall and squared, hard muscles flexing with each step. As he closed in on me, my heart beat faster. My breath grew heavier in my lungs.
The top of my head barely made it to his chin, and his eyes swirled with tenderness, looking down at me.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Hi,” I said in return.
He took my hand and curled it into his, the roughness of his calloused skin countering the softness of his gentle touch. He blinked, and in that single movement, his eyes lifted from mine to take in the view across lake. “I missed this,” he admitted.
I cleared my throat, feeling jarred by his sudden change of focus, and I turned to look at the blue moonlight reflecting on the glassy surface of the lake. “I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I know most people love the ocean, but there’s something so peaceful about lake living.”
His hand, still tangled with mine, gave me a squeeze, and I felt the heat of his gaze against my face. “I wasn’t talking about the lake,” he said, voice gruff. “I was talking about this. You.”
I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed as butterflies lurched in my belly. “Neil—”
“Don’t. Don’t ‘Neil’ me… it’s true. I missed the lake, the town, my family… yes. But most of all, I missed you.”
I took a deep breath, swallowed, and felt completely unsure of how to answer him. On one hand, I wanted this. I wanted to trust him. And on the other hand… how could I? He was here to care for his mother, but what would happen when she was feeling better? When she went into remission? What would happen to us when his shoulder eventually healed or if this reality show, that I had helped get him into, led to some bigger opportunity back in LA? I don’t think I could handle watching him leave me again… even if he was leaving temporarily. Even if he swore he’d come back. Watching him go would be like ripping open a scab that had only just started healing over. My job was here. My life was here.
Then again… if I wanted to enjoy this for one night, I had to turn those thoughts off. I could do that, right? I’d done it once before. Yeah, when you were younger with no responsibilities beyond getting A’s on your report card.
Neil tapped his pointer finger to my forehead. “I can see the wheels churning up here. Does this ever turn off?”
I chuckled. “My brain? Never.”
He smiled, a slow, lingering upturn of his mouth, and I found myself staring at his full lips as he said, “One of the things I always loved about you. And yet… isn’t that exhausting?”
“Extremely,” I admitted honestly.
There was another pause, but before it could extend too long, Neil held up a plastic to-go container of tiramisu and popped the lid open. “Look what I snuck away with.”
I lifted a brow. “Yet, no utensils?”
He smirked and dipped a finger into the spongy cake, holding it out for me to take.
I parted my lips just enough for him to plunge his finger into my mouth, and I moaned involuntarily, unsure of whether it was the delicious dessert or the feel of his finger brushing my tongue that had me weak in the knees.
His eyes glistened, never straying from my face as he dipped his finger into the cake again, gently pressing it between my lips.
After a couple of bites, I asked, “What about you?”
“Watching you is my dessert.”
I swallowed, remnants of espresso-soaked cake on my tongue, and dipped my finger into the cake as well. Nerves collided in my belly. Could I ignore all the fears and thoughts that were swimming in my mind as if they were in shark-infested waters? Could I let go and be Loca Lainey, Maple Grove’s wild child, rather than Elaina, town manager?
His eyes were fastened on me, alight with curiosity and intrigue. But he didn’t push. He didn’t nudge. He stood there, muscles ramrod straight, waiting for me.
Instead of holding it up to his mouth, I spread the cake down the side of my neck, tilting my head to him in an offering.
A low rumble growled from some primal part of him that left my nipples hard and the rest of me shuddering in anticipation. It was a sound I hadn’t heard since high school—Neil’s needy growl—but it awakened a part of me that had been lying dormant for longer than I cared to admit.
He lowered his mouth slowly to my neck, hovering a moment longer. His hot breath skimmed over my sensitive skin and goose pebbles erupted down my arm and shoulder.
Finally, I felt his tongue glide along the curve where my shoulder met my neck. A shock of electricity starting from his tongue rushed through my body, landing in my heart. Torturously slowly, he licked my flesh, kissing and nibbling well beyond what was needed for him to finish the fingerful of tiramisu.
A shiver rocked down my spine, and desire pooled between my legs as his teeth grazed my sensitive skin. Taking a step forward, I slid my hands up his chest, the warm slab of muscles hindered by the soft cotton of his dress shirt. Frustrated, I curled my hands into the material, fisting them, wanting nothing more than to tug and tear the shirt off, scattering his buttons across the dock.
Kisses peppered up my neck until those very lips that had me mesmerized moments before brushed against my ear. “Well, hey there… Lainey.” His voice was a rough whisper, and he chuckled a sexy tone that had me gasping as his hand slipped behind my head, cupping me.
He pulled back, standing straight and studying me as he lowered his hand. A breeze from the cool night air brushed across the wet patch his mouth had left on my neck, and I shivered. “Neil, I—”
“Don’t,” he said, catching my chin between his fingers and lifting my gaze back to those classic Evans shining green eyes. “Don’t pretend this isn’t who you are. I know you feel like Lainey is a separate entity from Elaina… but she’s not. You are sexy and wild and fun. But you are also smart and responsible and powerful. Who’s to say you have to be one or the other?” He tilted my chin higher, his nose brushing against mine. “But don’t pretend this side of you doesn’t exist.”
His mouth covered mine, and his kiss swallowed the rest of my objections.
It wasn’t a sweet kiss. And it wasn’t gentle. I gasped against his mouth as he tugged my body flush against his, the wall of muscle hard and firm against my soft curves. His kiss was hot and urgent, and he tasted like tiramisu. The grip he had on my chin softened, sliding over my jaw until he was cupping my face firmly in his palm. His lips urged mine to open, and it only took a moment for me to give in, dipping my tongue past his parted lips to sweep against his.
In that kiss, I felt a decade of raw, crazed lust. I couldn’t breathe with his thick, heady scent filling my senses, with the taste of him resonating on my tongue in waves of desire. I pressed my hands to his thick shoulders, pushing him off of me. My head spun and the cool night air became suddenly, swelteringly hot.
But I didn’t want to stop.
God, I didn’t want to stop.
“I’m… I’m all sticky.” The words came out on a pant, and I gestured to my fingers and neck, which were both still sticky from the dessert.
Gripping the hem of his shirt, he yanked it overhead,
revealing his insanely large and muscular torso. Oh my, he really had grown up since high school. He’d been muscular in high school, too… but not like this. I’d seen that Mr. Universe torso dozens of times on screen in bodybuilding competitions and while doing his Beefcakes thing at the bakery. But I’d never seen it so up-close. In person. Unhindered by an apron.
Biting down on my bottom lip, I clenched my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching out and touching him. As I stared, his fingers lowered to unbutton his jeans, and he pushed them down his chiseled legs, leaving him standing in front of me in nothing but boxer briefs.
“Wh-what the hell are you doing?”
“You’re… sticky. I’m sticky. Let’s hop in the water, cool off, and clean up. Yeah?”
I snorted a laugh, covering my mouth with my hand. “You’re joking.”
His brows wiggled. “Does it look like I’m joking?” Reaching out, he tugged at the hem of my silk blouse, untucking it from my skirt. “What do you say, Elaina?”
I arched a brow. “I thought you wanted me to channel Lainey tonight.”
His expression grew serious as he shook his head. “I want you to channel yourself. I want you to be whomever you want to be… and have fun.”
His thumbs hooked into his boxer briefs, and I smacked the back of his hand. “I swear to God, if you get naked right now—” The threat died on my lips.
Neil chuckled. “What? What will happen if I get naked right now?” His gaze narrowed.
“I’ll… I’ll throw your clothes in the trees, and you’ll have to drive home naked.”
He thought a moment, and the waistband of his boxer briefs snapped back into place. “Fair enough.”
My gaze dropped to the impressive, growing erection behind the thin swath of cotton covering him. I squeezed my thighs together, a foolish attempt to reduce the intense throb between my legs. Based on the twitch of his lips, lifting into a smirk, I think he noticed.
But if he did, he didn’t call me out on it. And he didn’t push to kiss me again.
“What’s it going to be?” he asked, backing toward the edge of the dock. “Late night swim? Or drive home… sticky?”
I laughed. “You really like that word, don’t you?”
“It reminds me of other things that are sticky.” He winked. “Come on, this isn’t all that different than a swimsuit, right?”
Except that it was thinner and tighter, but I didn’t answer. And I didn’t go swimming in thongs… which was what I was wearing beneath my skirt.
He turned and jumped into the water, still half-clothed. Or half-naked, depending on how you looked at it.
The splash as he dove in sprayed my bare shins, and when he came back up, treading water, he gestured for me to join him. “Come on, Elaina. When was the last time you went swimming in the moonlight?” I knew the exact last time I went swimming in the lake at night. It was ten years ago, and it was with Neil.
Without answering him, I shimmied out of my skirt and unbuttoned my shirt, then gently folded my clothes, and placed them on top of my shoes on the dock.
My black lace thong didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, and my body tightened at the sound of Neil’s breath hissing below me in the lake. I closed my eyes, sat down on the edge of the dock, and slid into the cool water.
My toes could barely touch the sandy bottom of the lake, and I used it to bounce myself up and keep my head above the water.
Neil’s grin was breathtakingly sexy. Maybe he was right. I was older now… and having incredible, adventurous sex with someone I liked wasn’t the scandal it was when I was eighteen and in high school. Having a few drinks and letting loose once in a while, as long as I managed to get my work done, was far more harmless now than ever before.
Maybe it was time to embrace my wilder side. Playing it safe certainly hadn’t kept Brad around, had it?
I waded over to him and pressed my hand flat against his wet, strong chest, meeting his eyes that somehow, in the moonlight, looked like dark pools of mossy green, even though I knew them to be a lighter, jade color.
I slid my hands from his chest to behind his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. I was met with zero resistance and chose to ignore the triumphant little smile that crossed his lips just before our mouths met. I sucked his bottom lip between my teeth and nibbled him. When he groaned, I felt that vibration in every part of my body, turning my blood soft. I wanted more. More groans. More pleasure. I wanted to revel in the intense heat between us.
Reaching below the water’s surface, I slid my panties down my legs and held them in the air, twirling them on my finger before tossing them onto the deck. They landed with a wet, sloshy slap.
Neil pulled back to look at me, brows inching higher. “Just how much wine did you have with dinner?”
“Not even a full glass,” I answered honestly. The only thing I was drunk on was Neil. And tiramisu.
I took his hand in mine and pushed it between my legs. “I haven’t had an orgasm in months,” I whispered, pulsing my hips against where I had placed his fingers.
The smile on Neil’s lips faltered briefly, then dropped entirely as he pulled back to examine me. “Are you serious?”
I nodded.
“Not even… by yourself?”
I shook my head. Hell, maybe I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t with Neil. He knew me in my darkest, wildest days. And though I wasn’t sure I could trust him with my heart yet, I knew I could trust him with my secrets. And my body.
His smile returned, and he slid his fingers between my legs. Impossibly, the ache in my core grew, and I arched into his hand, my eyes fluttering closed.
Images of boring, workaholic Elaina who Brad cheated on because he was looking for excitement, faded into the background, and I felt the old me coming back. Tonight, I didn’t want to be the predictable girl who ate yogurt and almonds every day for lunch. I didn’t want to be responsible. I wanted to enjoy life. Embrace my youth. Be wild, young, and free and maybe for once act my age, rather than like a sixty-year-old politician.
As his adept finger stroked and circled me, tormentingly slowly, Neil pressed a kiss to my lips, gently at first, then with increasing intensity. I was very aware of his cock pressed against the side of my hip, unrelenting and hard.
The water splashed around us as our kiss grew more frenetic and hurried, and he slid a second finger inside of me, moving it in and out in delicious, deliberate strokes.
I slipped my hand beneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs and wrapped my hand around his erection. He was thick and heavy in my hand, and he grunted against my lips as I squeezed him. I swept my thumb across his slick tip, relishing in the way he hissed in a breath, his movements against me hiccupping.
With his free hand, he touched my wrist gently and shook his head. “No condom,” he said.
Shit. In my haste, I had completely forgotten about that kind of safety. “Let’s keep this about you,” he added and pressed his thumb against my clit.
My eyes fell closed, but I didn’t release my hold on him. “I’d rather it be about us.”
He blinked, seemingly startled by my statement, but he nodded. “I haven’t been with anyone since before I moved back home. And even then, it had been months before that.”
My heart slammed in my chest. I almost didn’t believe him… but if there was one thing I knew about Neil, it was that he didn’t lie. Ever. He avoided the truth. He would leave before he had to confront a situation. But he would never lie.
We grew silent, the air between us filled with nothing except our heavy breaths, and the sloshing of the lake around us. My entire chaotic world diminished to this moment, here in the water with the first man I ever loved, where he was knuckle deep inside of me, stroking my wet, heated center.
He pumped in and out of me faster, urgently, and I surrendered to the pure pleasure. Literally bending backwards, my hair fanned out in the water beneath me as lust spiraled down my spine, landing heavily in my core. M
y toes curled in the sand, and I cried out into the silent night as pleasure exploded out of me.
I gripped him harder, stroking his length faster, and his hips pulsed into my fist. A low groan escaped from him as his fingers curved around my hips, squeezing me hard. His cock pulsed against my hold, releasing, and his body shuddered as he dropped his mouth to my shoulder, nipping the tender dip of flesh there.
We both stilled, the agitated water slowing to ripples around us.
Don’t panic, I thought to myself. This was a good thing. Maybe it was time to recreate myself—reclaim the pieces of the old Lainey that were good and leave behind the parts that weren’t—enjoy life more.
I just needed to keep my body and heart disconnected this time.
Just in case.
“I can’t believe the episode is airing already,” Liam said, placing a deviled egg on the platter.
I raked my hand through my hair. “I know.”
It had only been a week since Elaina and I spent the night swimming in the lake together. The filming schedule tapered off for the remainder of the week as the crew switched to editing and mastering the footage we had shot, and Elliott flew out to some of the other cities where the other bakeries were.
In the meantime, we were all warned to be careful not to be spotted together in a way that might bring about spoilers. So, even though I had had one of the best nights of my life with Elaina, we couldn’t be seen together the rest of the week. At least not until this episode aired, and the viewer votes were officially in.
Throughout the episode tonight, people could vote online and with the app. There was a running tally at the bottom of the screen, and voting closed at the end of every episode. In an age of on-demand and streaming television, it was Silhouette’s way to get people to tune in live for ratings.
I had to admit; it was a good idea.
Because they had several bakeries from around the country, it took a lot of the pressure off. For a one-hour show, only about ten minutes would focus on me, Elaina and the girls.
Even still, my stomach was in my throat. What if Elaina didn’t get the votes to continue on the show? That would mean that, for weeks, I wouldn’t be allowed to be seen with her. For weeks, I would have to spend my days with one of my other exes that I just simply didn’t care for in the same way. After that ‘first date’ Elaina and I had on screen, the potential for Elaina not to get enough votes was all too real. What they had filmed in the restaurant hadn’t been compelling—even Elliott had said so before we snuck off. And hell, we had both walked out on the date before our dessert even arrived. In retrospect, I was surprised Elliott hadn’t been angrier about that. But he just shrugged it off, telling me not to worry, that Elaina would still win the hearts of viewers.
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