Chapter Ten
Danny
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS AT the stadium weren’t fast enough to catch Danny sprint from afternoon practice into a waiting taxi. As the cab wound its way through downtown Chicago onto Madison Street, heavy black clouds gathered, blocking the August sunlight.
Ten blocks further, the driver pulled up in front of Ted McGuire’s Monroe Street office. Danny opened the door to translucent torrents of rain. They pelted the sidewalk, creating steaming eddies.
If the storm broke the heat spell, it would be a blessing.
Danny clutched his contract against his chest and darted inside. The air conditioning hit him, making his skin go clammy; in contrast, the air in the elevator felt stifling.
On the tenth floor, the receptionist flashed a dazzling smile before leading Danny along a maze of pepper colored carpeting to the inner sanctum.
Ted McGuire rose from his desk. “Before you get comfortable, let me take a look at that,” he said.
Danny passed him the semi-wet paper then lowered himself gingerly onto the edge of the tweed chair.
Cathy’s father read it through, busily made notations in the margins, then looked up and smiled. “We’ll see if this version gets past their attorneys.”
Ted’s eyes turned serious. Here it comes, Danny thought. He’d been afraid of this and had been tempted to go elsewhere, but that would have insulted Cathy’s Dad. He could almost read the man’s mind. Ted’s pride and joy was Danny’s for the taking, yet he hadn’t laid claim to her.
Ted leaned forward. “Well, young man, you’ve been with the Amstaffs for a year and your career’s steady on track. Maybe it’s time to settle down.”
“I’m thinking about that, sir.” Danny said, rising quickly before Ted could pursue the subject.
He hated being impolite, but wouldn’t be pressured into doing something he’d regret.
“Well, I better get going. I’ve got a cab waiting,” he said, fleeing.
Miraculously he found his way through the desk maze to the elevator. As he descended, a sinking feeling not originating from the drop of the elevator gripped him. Cathy also knew about the contract.
With temples throbbing, he stepped outside.
The tension between him and Cathy had become as unbearable as the oppressive heat and humidity which the storm had not dispelled. Cathy wanted something he couldn’t give her.
The time had come. He had to decide. The delay had already hurt Cathy. If he let her go, would it be right? If he didn’t, what would happen later?
As he again settled into the cab, he remembered where they’d be headed in a few days, on Sunday. It wouldn’t help matters. That’s for sure.
THE CHURCH BELLS rang in the distance as Danny stepped out of the Magnolia Street apartment he’d called home since childhood. His shirt plastered itself to his back. Though it had been eight years since his sister had been murdered, August days like this reminded him of the trial. If none of it had happened, life would be simple.
It didn’t help that his car felt like the inside of a hot cardboard box. With slippery fingers, he flicked on the air conditioning. As he gripped the steering wheel and pulled into the street, his neck knotted up. That was not good. He had to relax. He had to think of something else.
He took a deep breath and concentrated on the car’s appointments, taking in the BMW’s tan leather upholstery, the satellite radio, the other toys at his disposal. Since becoming an Amstaff, his automobile had been his one major indulgence. Other than that, he lived simply.
By the time he’d opened the door for Cathy, the car’s interior had long since cooled off. Despite that, he felt the heat of her thoughts. Neither one of them said much as he drove past the tree-lined streets alongside Northwest Highway to the Vanettis’ home in neighboring Jefferson Park. It hurt to realize that everything he’d had with Cathy would be over soon.
Unaware of the tension, Tony happily greeted them at the door of his bungalow and led them into a cozy looking living room.
“Tracy will be out in a sec, along with our new addition. How about iced tea or a beer?”
“Iced tea,” they said in unison.
Tony disappeared to fill their order, leaving Danny and Cathy alone. The silence lengthened. He filled it by glancing around. The furnishings were inexpensive, yet homey touches were evident everywhere, from the cross-stitched wall hangings to the lace doilies on the end tables.
As Tony reappeared with the cold tea, he caught the last of Danny’s inspection. “It’s not the Taj Mahal, but it’s home,” he said with a modest smile.
“It’s very lovely,” Cathy said graciously.
Though she came from a wealthy family, there was nothing pretentious about Cathy. Her unassuming attitude was one of the things Danny loved about her. It wasn’t too late to change his mind.
“Hey, you two, have a seat,” Tony said. “I was elected chef today. I’ve got things to do in the kitchen, but I’ll be right back.”
They settled silently onto the plump sofa. It was his first visit here, yet Danny couldn’t help but feel at ease, despite the tension between him and Cathy. The place emitted warmth and comfort, as if it had taken on the characters of its occupants.
With Tony’s fledgling ad agency up and running and Tracy minding the child, the Vanettis could barely afford their digs. Still, they appeared happy. His own family had been like that. Everyone had pitched in and they’d gotten by. The fact Danny was now wealthy meant little to him. There were more important things in life.
Tracy took that moment to waltz in carrying little Angela. “Here’s our precious darling,” she said.
The wanting look in Cathy’s eyes tugged at Danny’s heartstrings.
“Would you like to hold her?” Tracy offered Cathy.
Cathy nodded and the women gently made the exchange. Crooning softly, Danny’s angel rocked baby Angela.
As he watched, his eyes smarted and he swallowed. God help him, Cathy deserved to be holding her own baby.
Angela’s mouth puckered and aimed at Cathy’s breast.
“Poor darling, you’re hungry,” Cathy said.
She turned to Tracy. “How often do you feed your little princess?”
Gazing proudly at her daughter, Tracy laughed. “Almost every minute. Sometimes I can’t get anything else done.”
She didn’t seem too upset about it.
Cathy held onto Angela as if she’d never let her go. Danny’s eyes were glued to them. They looked so beautiful together. How could he give this up? Instead of righting an old wrong, should he forget the past and lead a normal life?
He pictured a snowy evening of lying in front of a fireplace with Cathy beside him, followed by a night of slow lovemaking. They wouldn’t bother to be careful. If it were meant to be, they’d conceive a miniature Cathy or Danny.
How would Cathy look with her perfect breasts filled with milk? The thought made him want her even more.
His eyes strayed again to the Madonna-like scene. He yearned to keep Cathy, yet if he took her, he’d have to relinquish the mission he’d held onto for eight years.
Trying to force his runaway emotions into line, he gulped down the iced tea. He’d warned himself before. He had to be careful or his fantasies would get the better of him. He mustn’t allow himself to weaken. Kevin must pay for what he’d done. His sister had been an innocent, yet she’d suffered and died a brutal death. Through no fault of her own, Mary Alice’s dreams would never come true. She’d never marry her handsome prince and have children. Cathy could still do that, but not necessarily with him.
What was more important—Cathy or revenge?
Before Danny could answer the question, Tony stepped into the room. With raised eyebrows, he looked from Cathy to the baby.
“Danny boy, when are you going to break down and make an honest woman of Cathy? She’d make a great mother.”
Cathy’s face flushed a bright crimson. Ignoring Tony, she bent her hea
d and smiled at Angela. Danny was not deceived. It wouldn’t take long before the showdown.
It was obvious Cathy had pinned her hopes on him, expecting more than he’d offered so far. She had to be frustrated. With her intelligence and good looks, everything she’d wanted had come easily. She could get any guy she wanted, yet she’d chosen him. He had to be the biggest challenge of her life.
Selfishly, he wanted to hold onto her a bit longer. Life would be lonely without Cathy.
She looked at him strangely, awaiting his reply to Tony’s question. Laughing self-consciously, Danny clutched at the nearest excuse. “Being an Amstaff has kept me so busy, I haven’t had time to commit to anything else.”
It wasn’t a valid reason and he knew it. He daren’t tell the truth. Tony sensed his reticence and filled the gap with basketball talk.
“Oh, Tony, I almost forgot,” Danny said, pulling out a pair of season’s tickets. “Maybe you could use these.”
Tony’s eyes lit up. “Thanks, man.”
Knowing Tony’s tight budget, Danny felt good about doing his friend a favor. Still, it didn’t ease the sour feeling lodged in his gut as Cathy looked back at him in silent reproach. Although she’d taken the initiative suggesting their first date, throughout their relationship she’d never pushed him.
On the way home, Cathy didn’t even mention the baby. His inner antenna told him she was hurt. He was afraid to say anything. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away as the headlights of a station wagon packed with kids passed the BMW. What would he do without Cathy?
ON THE FOLLOWING evening, Danny took Cathy to a show rather than risk bringing her somewhere where they could talk. It was sad how their relationship had diminished. How long could the torture last? He had to put a stop to it.
The movie was supposed to have been a comedy, yet neither of them laughed. Later, when he pulled up to her parent’s Georgian house, Cathy placed her hand on his arm. “Danny, we have to talk. I can’t go on like this.”
He sat silently, not making it easy for her, hoping she wouldn’t press him.
This time she didn’t give up.
“I thought you loved me and wanted to get married, Danny,” she said in a trembling, determined voice. “Was I wrong all along?”
In pain he watched the street lamp cast a halo around Cathy’s strawberry hair, making her look like a sad, lost angel. He’d known this moment would happen. He should never have accepted Cathy’s love.
He gazed deep into the innocent blue eyes, probably for the last time. He didn’t want it to end this way. Her lips quivered. Any moment she’d cry. He didn’t want to hurt her. Hell, he loved her. What should he say?
“Cathy, I wish I could offer you more. You deserve someone who’ll marry you and give you children, but I can’t.”
Her eyes filled and a silvery tear dribbled down her cheek. He felt like a cad.
“But Danny, I don’t understand. Why not?”
She was almost begging him, making him feel worse. This beautiful woman could have anyone in the world. What crazy quirk of fate had made her fall for him? The time had come for an accounting, yet he couldn’t tell her. He had to protect her. In the long run, his cruelty would be a kindness.
Knowing what he had to do, he cringed inside. Why must he hurt the person he loved? “Cathy, I do love you. That’s why I can’t marry you. I’ve been selfish in holding onto you for so long. What I’ve done isn’t right. I should’ve made the break a long time ago. You deserve more than I can offer.”
“I don’t understand,” she barely choked out.
He was tempted to tell her. They’d been inseparable for two years. She knew almost everything about him: his obsession with basketball, his loneliness without his parents. She deserved an answer, especially after waiting so patiently. He hesitated.
Could he entrust her with his secret? He looked searchingly into the red-rimmed, innocent eyes, knowing what they were seeing wasn’t him. She thought he was pure and good like her, yet inside he harbored evil vengeful thoughts.
He hedged. “A while ago, before we met, something rotten happened. It changed my life. I’ve never been the same.”
“But, Danny, I love you just the way you are.”
Her faith in him broke his heart. She was such a good person. She deserved better. He couldn’t tell her. The corrosive hatred eating at him was not the sort of thing Cathy should have to deal with.
“I can’t explain any more.”
She tried to appear cold, but only succeeded in looking wounded. “All right, Danny. If that’s the way you want it, I guess it’s goodbye.”
Blindly she fumbled with the door handle, then ran from the BMW and up the sidewalk, stumbling in her haste. He almost dashed out to help her, but stopped. It was better this way—a clean cut, with no repercussions.
Danny watched as she fumbled for the house key, then disappeared inside. The thud of the door reverberated through the night air, closing out an unforgettable chapter in his life.
It was done. He was free, but instead of feeling better, emptiness engulfed him. He’d thrown away something precious. Had he done the right thing?
WEEKS OF SLOW torture followed. Cathy didn’t call. On game days, after Danny had suited up and stepped onto the court, he automatically glanced toward Cathy’s empty seat. None of the other McGuires were present either, not even Dora, who enjoyed going over the games with him afterward. Apparently they’d heard the news and were not pleased. He’d lost another family and it hurt.
He’d relied on basketball as a refuge before, so he fell on it again, concentrating on his job. Despite his preoccupation, or maybe because of it, he managed to do well. Unfortunately, the person with whom he most wanted to share his accomplishments was not around to notice.
On the Washington road trip, he fought an overwhelming urge to call Cathy. Before, when he’d been away, he’d always felt better at hearing her voice. This time was different. He had only the remote control and Bruce Willis. His interest lagged. He fell asleep accompanied by the roar of a motorcycle on TV.
After the next game, he couldn’t bear spending another solitary evening, so he joined the guys at Loco Louie’s hamburger joint. Ronnie White told his usual jokes, making everyone crack up. Danny tried to join in, but his laughter sounded hollow to his own ears. The guys kept mentioning their wives and girlfriends, making Danny feel worse.
The end of the four-day road trip was almost a relief. When he stepped off the 747 into the airport, it really hit him. He had nothing to look forward to at home. The usual mob of reporters greeted him, but no one special. After throwing out a few random answers, he grabbed a cab.
Wearily he climbed the stairs to his apartment. When he opened the door, loneliness socked him. He was home, but it didn’t matter. He was alone. The same gray couch where he and Cathy had sat laughing and munching popcorn stood in empty reproach, as did the rest of the apartment.
His thoughts drifted to the ones who’d dwelled here before, those who still held a claim to his heart. Was that Dad on the easy chair, shifting awkwardly trying to find a comfortable position for his back? Were Mom and Mary Alice laughing in the kitchen?
All this time had passed, yet it was still hard to believe he’d lost them. His eyes filled. This apartment held too many memories. He’d never wanted to before, but maybe it was time to move.
In defeat, he dropped his duffel bag on the floor and heaved a sigh. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at the answering machine on the coffee table. Its tiny red light blinked invitingly. His heart jumped. Cathy. It had to be her. If she’d made a move, could he ignore it?
If he could only hear her voice again, at least once. He pressed the button.
“Hi, pal...”
Damn, it wasn’t her, but Tony inviting him for spaghetti the next day. Should he accept? Despite their longstanding friendship, he felt bad about going over there alone.
“Tony, uh, I don’t think I c
an make it.”
“What’s up buddy? Ya got something planned? We’re flexible. Let’s make it Wednesday instead.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not up to it. I broke up with Cathy.”
“Aw, Danny, you guys had something good going. What happened?”
Hearing the concern in his friend’s voice made Danny almost blubber. He fought for control, though his insides crumbled. He was tired of it all. Everything was hopeless. He couldn’t carry the burden alone. Perhaps if he explained, it would help. Maybe Tony, being so close to him, would understand.
“It has something to do with Mary Alice,” he said almost too quietly.
Danny heard only the hum of the phone line, then Tony’s cautious words. “Danny, that was a long time ago. I thought you’d gotten on with your life.”
“I have, Tony, but there’s more to it than that.”
Something about Danny’s tone alerted Tony. “Wait a minute, Danny, don’t move. I’ll be right over. We’ve got to talk.”
Danny absently listened to the phone slam. His mind had already drifted away as, with great deliberation, he replaced the receiver in its cradle. Now it would come out. His friend would think twice about hanging around with a loon like him. That was understandable. He couldn’t stand himself either.
He didn’t know how long he stood there in quiet desperation before the jolt of the doorbell startled him from his reverie. Without asking who it was, he dragged himself to the console and pushed the buzzer.
Tony’s short frame whirled into the living room.
“Thank God, you’re all right. Man, you had me worried. The way you were talking, it sounded like you’d freaked out.”
Danny gave a small smile. “No, I haven’t freaked out. At least, I’m not any different than I’ve been for years.”
“Danny, why don’t we sit down and talk this over, okay, buddy?”
Danny nodded, then sank onto the couch. Tony pulled up a chair across from him. He faced Danny, staring him straight in the eyes.
“All right, I’m with you. What are you talking about? How does what happened to Mary Alice affect Cathy?”
“Well, ever since then, I’ve had one thing on my mind and I can’t get rid of it.”
“You’re not thinking...”
“Yeah, I decided long ago I’d make that scumbag pay for what he did. I’ll never feel right until I do.”
“Hey, Danny, I know how you feel, but you can’t. The judge made the decision. Kevin got his sentence. You need to accept that. There’s nothing you can do about it.”
Danny banged his fist on the coffee table. “Damn right there is. I can erase that bastard from the face of the earth. He doesn’t deserve to live. He should be dead like my sister.”
“And then what? Have you thought of the consequences? Don’t forget, man, you’re in the big time. You’ve got it all and you can lose it all, just like that. What you’re implying is premeditated murder.”
“I know, but I’ve got to do something. It’s not right what he did.” Tears sprang to Danny’s eyes. He hated the helpless feeling engulfing him.
“Danny, Danny, look at me. I’m your friend. I’ve always been proud of you, but this obsession of yours is dangerous. You’ve got to give it up before it steals your life.
“Just think of everything you have—there’s Cathy, your friends, there’s your career, so many good things. You can’t throw it all away. Tell me you won’t.”
Danny stared into Tony’s soulful brown eyes, knowing even if he ignored his friend’s advice, Tony would still love him. He felt grateful for a friendship he didn’t deserve.
Tony gazed at him steadily. Did he know something that Danny didn’t? Confused, Danny searched his soul, this time not fighting the glimmer of hope sparking inside of him. Maybe he was a better person than he thought he was. Maybe he could forget the past. Maybe he was capable of living a normal life. All along, had he been using his hatred as a crutch against taking a chance at love?
One thing he knew. He disliked what he’d become. Hatred was a powerful habit and it soured everything. The moment Kevin had been convicted, Danny had also gotten a sentence, one inflicted by himself. His desire for revenge had wreaked irreparable damage on his life.
Tony and Tracy were so happy together. He wanted that with Cathy. Was it too late to abandon the goal he’d harbored for so long? His soul already felt corrupted. Could it be saved?
“What do ya say, Danny? How about giving yourself a break?” Tony asked in a confident voice.
The idea sounded appealing, but how could he give up what he’d held onto for so long? Yet if he didn’t, in the long run, who would be the bigger loser, himself or Kevin?
Cathy loved him. Tony, Tracy and Ritchie did also. They saw something of value in him. Why couldn’t he acknowledge that his own life was worth saving? Why should he throw it away for the sake of revenge?
In his mind’s eye, Mary Alice smiled back at him. She reminded him he could have anything he wanted if he tried hard enough. He wanted to love and be loved. That was more important than revenge. Why hadn’t he realized it sooner?
As he slowly nodded, a giant burden lifted from his shoulders. Yes, he could do it. He had to. The alternative was hell. From now on, he’d ignore Kevin. When Kevin was released, let him live the rest of his life with a guilty conscience. That would be punishment enough. It was time to resume his own life.
The thought of how he’d treated Cathy left a bad taste in his mouth. He had to make it up to her. It was the right thing to do and he’d do it. As the enormity of his decision sank in, his heart beat fast. He’d make it work and it would be wonderful.
He stood up and crossed over to his friend. “Thanks, Tony. You’ve opened my eyes. I see what I should’ve seen long ago. You’re a real buddy.”
They shook hands. The handshake was a confirmation of his new life, almost a pact. He’d never renege on his word. From now on he’d channel his energy into positive directions.
“Hey, what are friends for, right?” Tony said, patting him on the back, sounding embarrassed. “Well, now that’s settled, I’ll just mosey on home to my wife and kid.”
“Thanks again, man, I mean it. I won’t forget.”
After Tony had left, a sense of euphoria grew inside of Danny. He didn’t have to wreak revenge. He could be happy and forget the past. Excitedly he planned what he’d say to Cathy. He’d beg her to forgive him, tell her he should never have allowed what had happened long ago to interfere with their future. He was tempted to pick up the phone right away, but restrained himself.
Everything must be perfect. Cathy deserved that. She’d put up with a lot. He had a lot to make up for. From now on, he’d give her the world. Through her joy, he’d find his. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.
IT TOOK AN entire day for Danny to summon up enough courage to make his move. First, he called Cathy’s home. Unfortunately, Dora’s solid voice answered, instead of Cathy’s ethereal tones. You’d swear Dora was the older of the two.
An unbidden thought flashed through his mind. If he’d met Dora first, would he have loved her instead? Physically he was attracted to both of them. Each represented a separate part of himself: one the dreamer; the other the realist. Right now, he was intent on embracing what was pure and good and forgetting the negative. Cathy’s sister was too intense. He didn’t need reminders of hardship and reality.
“Dora, is Cathy there?”
Dora hesitated, then launched into her piece. “Yes, she’s upstairs. She’s not happy with you, and I don’t blame her. She’s wasted too much time putting up with your games. I’m not telling her you’re on the phone.”
“Dora, slow down. I don’t blame you for what you think, but there’s more to it than you know.”
“What possible reason could you have for leading her on and then dumping her?”
“Well, a valid one, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve decided to take the plunge anyway. Cathy’s more i
mportant to me than anything else.”
Dora’s flat voice came back. “That’s not good enough. I want a reason. You know, Danny, I’m really disappointed. I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to my sister, but I was wrong. I can’t let her talk to you. I won’t let you hurt her again.”
“But, Dora—”
“No, and don’t think of coming over here either. I’ll be guarding the door.”
Things were getting complicated. Now he had to convince Dora before he could state his case to her sister. He thought for a moment. There had to be a way. He had to get Cathy back. He’d confided his story to Tony. Should he reveal it to Dora, including his past vow and his new resolution? His mind cringed at the thought of confessing again, yet it seemed the only solution. Since he’d already poured it out once, maybe it wouldn’t be as difficult the second time. The main thing was that Cathy not find out.
Danny sighed. “Dora, could you meet me after the game tomorrow? Let’s talk this over in a neutral setting, say, maybe Francine’s in Mount Prospect.”
The answering voice sounded a little excited, a bit unsure. Was there a chink in her armor? “Okay, Danny, but don’t expect much. I love my sister.”
“Believe it or not, I do, too. I’ll meet you in front of the locker room, okay?”
“Sure, Danny.”
On Saturday before the game Danny glanced toward his reserved seats. He made out Dora, Tony and Ritchie. It felt good seeing some of his cheering section present, but its core was still missing.
When the starting point guard, Louie Larson, twisted his ankle, Coach Dexter called in Danny and allowed him to finish the game. Danny outscored and out-rebounded the other players.
“Callaway, keep up the good work,” Coach Dexter said afterward, patting him on the back as they entered the locker room.
Danny nodded, his mind already focused on the upcoming encounter. There was a lot at stake, probably his entire life. He had to talk sense into Dora.
A gorgeous woman stood by the door in the spot where he usually saw Cathy.
“Hi, Dora, I hope you didn’t wait too long. Say, you’re looking really nice today.”
Danny strove to keep up the small talk as he fought back a growing attraction. Dora had come into her own. Her ebony hair shone brilliantly. Her hunter green pantsuit heightened the peach glow of her spectacular cheekbones. If he didn’t want Cathy so badly, he’d be tempted to make a play for her sister instead.
“Thanks, Danny.”
Her words came out breathlessly. The peach hue of her cheeks deepened. Cathy’s younger sister wasn’t as self-assured as she let on.
They drove in separate cars to the restaurant. It turned out to be a quiet, intimately dark place with small glass candleholders on red linen tablecloths. Danny felt a stab of sadness. Cathy should be here with him, not her sister.
Dora slid into the booth first, then Danny. As his elbow grazed hers, her eyes flickered momentarily. Danny put it down to a trick of the lighting.
Their talk skirted around the subject. They spoke of Dora’s impending entrance to Loyola Law School. Undaunted by the prospect of long hours of studying, she was eager to meet the challenge. He had a feeling she could surmount any obstacle she wished.
As he listened, he grew mesmerized by her hypnotically glowing eyes. Before he could stop it, a startling image flashed through his mind: a nude Dora lying beneath him with shining amber eyes gazing upwards. He shook his head to clear it. He had to get a grip on himself. He’d almost forgotten his mission. Cathy was the one he wanted.
Sensing his withdrawal, her eyes clouded. Was she disappointed? Nonsense. She couldn’t read his mind.
“Well, I guess, the legal profession isn’t exactly of interest to you, Danny. There aren’t many people who get as excited about it as I do. I know, let’s switch to basketball. What about referee Burnham’s call in the third quarter? Wasn’t Andy Ransome over-guarding?”
They argued good-naturedly about the game’s happenings. Dora, always the avid fan, showed remarkable insight. Her opinions about who was left in the game too long, who wasn’t in the right spot to execute a play, who should be traded, made a lot of sense as usual.
Danny couldn’t remember ever enjoying basketball talk as much. Sweet Cathy always tried to look excited when he rambled on about the game, but that was because she wanted to share the experience with him. Her actual interests lay elsewhere. Still, her unquestioning support warmed his heart and made him feel special. That reminded him. It was time to get Cathy back.
“Dora, maybe we better talk about why we’re here.”
Her glowing eyes dimmed. The restaurant’s dark shadows settled on her lovely cheekbones. Her soft lips firmed. “That’s right Danny. I know you’re thinking you don’t owe me a thing, that it’s Cathy you should be explaining this to. Well, you’ve got to realize Cathy’s a very dear, sweet sister and I just can’t bear to see her suffer.
“I need to make sure you mean what you say and you’re not going to hurt her again. It would be cruel if you came back and then decided to leave. She’s not as strong as she lets on. Danny, she’s let her whole life revolve around you, and you’ve ripped it apart.
“Sure, she’s got her floral shop, but to a homebody like Cathy, that’ll always be second. She needs you, but only if you’ll stay. Otherwise, she’d be better off forgetting you and getting on with her life.”
Her face reddened with emotion. Her trembling hands gripped the wine glass. “There, I know I’ve said a lot, but they were things that had to be said, things I’ve thought about for a long time.”
Danny didn’t know how to start. Before, he’d thought he’d been right to give up Cathy. Now he realized he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted to destroy Kevin. What he said now was important. He had to state his case emphatically enough to convince Dora. He was the lawyer and she the judge.
His throat went dry. He almost reached for his water glass, but resisted. “Dora, I mentioned to you about something that happened before.”
She nodded.
“To understand my reasons, I’ve got to tell you about my older sister, Mary Alice. She was a beautiful person inside and out, the best sister anyone could have. As in every family, we had our differences, but bottom line is, we loved each other. She encouraged me. She told me I could have anything I wanted if I set my mind to it. If it weren’t for Mary Alice, I wouldn’t be a basketball player.”
“Danny, I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“I did, but she’s gone. She was raped and killed when I was sixteen.”
Dora gasped, then placed her hand over his. “Oh, Danny, I’m so sorry.”
He swallowed again, blinking back the tears which always sprang up at mention of his sister. “Well, anyway, when the cops came, I told them about an argument between Mary Alice and her classmate, Kevin Green. He’d been furious she wouldn’t go to the prom with him.
“The police arrested Kevin. I testified at the trial. I’d like to think my testimony clinched his conviction. Anyway, instead of the death penalty, he got forty years. With good behavior, that turns into twenty in Illinois.”
Danny grimaced. “The judge’s excuse was Kevin’s actions were the result of passion and not premeditated. All I know is he’s still alive and will be released some day, but Mary Alice will never come back.”
Dora sat silently, apparently marshaling her thoughts, still pressing his hand.
It felt comforting. Already he felt a bond developing between himself and Cathy’s sister. He’d confided something important to her, yet it seemed right. Somehow he knew he could trust her with his life.
She loosened her grip and unconsciously traced her finger across the top of his hand, as if reluctant to relinquish contact. “Danny, something like that had to have left you with a horrible scar. Is that why you didn’t want to get married?”
“There’s more to it than that, Dora.”
He snatched his hand away.
He watched Dora’s drawn face for a reaction. She gazed back steadily.
“Are you shocked?”
“Not as much as you’d think. If anything happened to Cathy or Mom or Dad, I’d feel the same way. Yet, I’d hope to be strong enough to overcome that urge. There’s a thin line separating a normal person from a criminal. Not crossing that line is the real test. If you’re planning to step over it, you were right in the first place. It’s best you don’t see Cathy again.”
“Before, all I could think of was getting even. I had to get back at Kevin as soon as he was released. Then my love for Cathy hit me out of the blue. Selfishly I didn’t want to give her up, though I knew I’d eventually have to. I finally decided to make the break. I’d convinced myself it was for Cathy’s good.
“It was too late. I’d waited too long. I love her too much. It hurt like hell without her. Still, I was sure I’d done the right thing. It didn’t matter that both of us were miserable. It was the price I had to pay. No matter what it did to me or Cathy, I had to get even. I hurt deeply, but I wouldn’t give up my goal.”
“I can understand that, Danny.”
“Thank God, I have a wonderful friend, Tony Vanetti. You’ve met him. He sits behind you at the games with his wife, Tracy.”
She nodded.
“Anyway, Tony and I grew up together. We’re tight. He accepts anything I do. Still, when he discovered how I’d been destroying my life by obsessing over revenge, he sat me down and we had a long talk. He convinced me to look deep inside my soul. He reminded me of what I’d be losing. He asked me why I was punishing myself for what Kevin did. He made me see that I’m important in my own right. I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness because of what happened to Mary Alice.”
Did Dora believe he’d changed? If not, all would be lost. Danny clenched his hands beneath the tablecloth. He must convince her.
“I’d always known revenge wasn’t the answer, but hatred is a tough habit to break. In those few minutes with Tony, I examined myself thoroughly and didn’t like what I saw. That’s when I decided to put aside revenge and get on with my life. Cathy’s love is more important than anything. I want to marry her and start a family. I’d give anything to make her happy. For too many years I’ve been caught up with my obsession, but now I’m free. I need Cathy to complete my happiness. What do you say, Dora? Will you help me get her back?”
Dora’s eyelids sparkled with unshed tears in the candlelight. She sighed. “Yes, Danny, I’ll help.”
DORA WAS TRUE to her word. She phoned Danny the next afternoon and said she’d spoken to Cathy. She’d offered her sister a modification of what had happened, saying he’d lost his sister through death and then his parents. He’d been afraid of losing anyone else.
“Thanks, Dora. You’re wonderful. I appreciate what you’ve done.”
Her acknowledgment held a hint of sadness.
A few hours later he was back at Cathy’s door, shifting his feet, brushing lint off the lapel of his suit, trying not to be distracted by the odd thumping of his heart. He banged the knocker.
It seemed an eternity before the door opened. When it did, his eyes took in the most beautiful sight in the world, hopefully his future bride. The setting sun highlighted her strawberry curls. Her compact breasts tugged against a soft pink T-shirt.
Now that the time had come, he didn’t know what to say. He felt as if they’d just met. Her eyes skittishly followed him. It had only been a month, yet already they couldn’t communicate. This was ridiculous. They belonged together.
“Cathy…”
“Danny...”
They both started to talk, then stopped and laughed.
He put his arms around her, pulling her close, feeling her breasts brush against his chest.
“Ah, Cathy, honey, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. Can you forgive me?”
He felt rather than saw her nod, as she pressed closer to him. Could she love him despite the hell he’d put her through? All he could do was hope.
She felt so good next to him. His body hardened. He ached to prove his love. They were so close she had to know what was going on. He didn’t care. His lips claimed hers. A gentle kiss turned into something frighteningly intense as their pent-up emotions were released. Her lips were soft, the nectar sweet.
His mind swirled. He stepped back. His tail bone jammed into the doorknob, reminding him of where he was. Now was not the time to behave like a caveman. He wanted Cathy to remember tonight for the rest of her life.
“Cathy, why don’t we go somewhere nice? There’s something I have to ask you.”
Hope surfaced in her eyes. “Sure Danny. Let me change and comb my hair. I won’t be long.”
Before rushing up the stairs, she threw him a parting look, as if she was afraid he’d disappear. He didn’t blame her. The old Danny would have left. The new, improved Danny had decided to start a new life and Cathy would be its fulcrum. If she rejected him now, his world would crumble.
“For you I’d wait forever,” he whispered toward her vanishing figure.
After about ten minutes she reappeared, wearing a sunny, scoop-necked dress and looking glorious. He wanted her badly. God help him if she changed her mind. She seemed interested enough, but he couldn’t blame her if she refused him. At the thought, cold sweat broke out on his forehead.
He’d made reservations at Regina’s, an intimate Italian restaurant in Arlington Heights, where they’d eaten once before. They stepped inside the quiet darkness. Regina’s was more upscale than Francine’s, where he’d taken Dora to dinner. For a moment, a picture framed in his mind of Dora’s lambent eyes shining back at him in the candle glow.
He shifted his focus. Tonight was Cathy’s. He mustn’t blow it. Barely glancing at the menu, he ordered the first thing he saw, which was an antipasto plate. He didn’t feel like eating. He had to know where he stood. How should he begin? Calling the waitress back, he asked for a bottle of Dom Perignon.
“I’ve never had this before,” Cathy said, fingering the wineglass.
Before she could raise it, he gently disentangled her fingers and slid the glass away. He placed his palm on top of hers. “Cathy, there’s something I have to say. I know it’s taken me way too long to get around to this, but I hope you’ll forgive me anyway.” Swallowing hard, he looked into her innocent blue eyes. “I love you, sweetheart. I’ve always loved you, from the first moment I saw your strawberry curls in front of me in class.”
She smiled shyly. Her hand trembled and he gripped it tighter.
“This is where I get down on my knees. I’m going to look like a fool, but to prove I mean what I’m saying, I’ll do it in front of the whole restaurant.”
She watched mutely, as he climbed down before her. Desperately he went on, “Cathy, darling, I love you. Would you do me the great honor of being my wife?”
There, he’d said it. He’d gotten the words out. It had taken a lot of guts, but he’d done it. Now it was her turn. What would she say? She could make him the happiest man in the world or the sorriest man alive.
Her eyes filled as she stared down at him. She was taking way too long to answer. If she didn’t want him, couldn’t she say it and get it over with?
The silence lengthened. Cathy, what are you doing to me? he asked himself. Well, she had a right to torture him, though it wasn’t usually her style.
“Yes, Danny, I’d be glad to marry you. I love you, too.” Her voice broke.
“Thank God. Cathy, those were the longest few minutes of my life.”
As he got up, he pointed to the window. “If you’d have said no, I’d have jumped right out there.” He laughed to relieve the tension.
She joined him, then added, “Danny, don’t worry. I’d have never said no. I’ve always loved you.”
He turne
d serious. “Cathy, I’m sorry for hurting you. There were things in my past I should’ve buried long ago. They had nothing to do with you. I should never have let them stand in the way. You’re the most important person in my life.”
“Don’t be sorry. You have a right to your feelings. You’ve worked everything out and that’s what’s important. We can go into our marriage without any surprises lurking in the background. It’s better that way.”
His future wife was more understanding than was good for her.
At that, the waitress arrived with the salads.
“Well, now maybe I can eat. I don’t know about you, but suddenly my appetite’s enormous,” he said, flashing a suggestive leer.
She blushed charmingly at the double entendre. With a flustered expression, she reached for her fork. He did the same. They lingered over the meal, enjoying its significance.
In the candle glow, Cathy’s eyes took on an azure hue, sparkling with excitement. He felt good inside, knowing he was making Cathy happy. He brushed aside any lingering doubts about Kevin. That episode was over. From now on, Cathy was his life.
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