by Celia Kyle
He examined his own mind as he sat beside her. He had no idea what the Knowing was supposed to be like and, for the most part, it seemed to happen just as it had been described to him by others. He suddenly had lots of human lore in his brain, strange facts from history and a wealth of information dealing with social interaction.
A great many of the sayings that had left him feeling slow and dull were now clear in their meanings. He smiled as he turned the thoughts over, realizing now why the others had found his responses so funny. It wasn’t as if he had a full dictionary of human words and their inflections, but he definitely had a new understanding.
Along with these taunting pieces, he had some knowledge of human anatomy. The brain rested in a bubble of fluid and if it were disrupted, his mate could easily die or become permanently damaged. He turned his head from side to side, testing his own neck. He could almost turn his head completely around, something humans would no doubt find unnatural and disturbing. It was due to the flexible connections between joints that would stretch and remake his limbs when he shifted.
But Dawn… she was as delicate as glass. The harder he focused on the information about the human body, the more his worry grew. Every system in the human body had to be perfectly balanced or it impacted the structures of those around it.
He simply wanted to know what was going on with his mate. If Yazen and Whelon did not return soon, he would have to find them. The machinery made small beeps and whines, and they scared him. Dawn’s eyes flickered behind their lids, but she showed no sign of waking. He gripped her hand just a little tighter, begging her to wake and explain all of this to him.
Loud voices in the hallways startled him. He leapt to his feet and stood guard over Dawn’s bed, ready to attack anyone who dared disturb her.
When Kozav and Rendan entered the room, he was momentarily puzzled. He did not know they had any work in the medical bay or why they would just charge into a place of healing making so much noise.
“What’s your business here?” Vende snapped. “Can you not see the sick are trying to rest?”
Kozav shot Rendan a look, which Rendan returned. Vende thought his dragon would emerge, right here and now the longer the two remained silent. He was too frustrated to play stupid dragonlet games.
“We came looking for you, Vende,” Kozav spoke carefully.
“Why? What do you want?” Vende crossed his arms and raised his wings.
“Because you vanished from Kouvai Nihon with Dawn and have now ignored your duties for most of the day.” Rendan peered past Vende to lay eyes on Dawn on the platform.
“Do not look at my mate!” Vende hissed, barely holding himself back from roaring at the male. He stepped forward and spread his wings, blocking the ryaapir unit from their view.
“I’m not!” Rendan held up his hands in surrender. “Look, we just wanted to know if you were coming back on duty. It’s fine. I can see your… mate needs you.”
Vende shook his head as the impossibility of himself failing his duty collided with the nonnegotiable fact he could not leave his mate. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples, groaning.
“Yeah, that’s how it starts,” Kozav murmured.
“What? What’s starting?” Vende spoke but did not look up.
“The reaction to ah… women. You feel like you want to let your brain crawl out of your skull. Don’t you?”
Vende had never heard such an apt description for this unidentifiable feeling. He stared at his fellow warriors, realizing they understood. They weren’t his enemies and maybe… they could even help.
“What happened?” Rendan spoke softly, voice low, and Vende shook his head.
“Something to do with the Knowing. Apparently, it is somehow restoring parts of her brain that were damaged, and it is causing her pain.” Vende raised his hands, clenching his fists. He wished that he could articulate the situation better, but he just did not know enough.
“It’s only the beginning.” Kozav nodded to Vende. “If you think you’re stressed out now, give it a few weeks. They wreck your life, these human women.”
Kozav and Rendan shared a smile and poked each other in the ribs. Vende knew this was humor and refused to open his mouth to make a retort. He had been just about to stand up and unleash hell on Kozav for suggesting his life was ruined the day he found his mate.
Sarcasm. A bad thing that sounds good, a good thing described or inflected as bad for the sake of lightening a situation or seeing the subject in a different way.
Vende shook his head and rubbed his temples some more. Rendan and Kozav glanced at each other. Even though they had come in joking, they understood what Vende was going through and that the situation could get far worse. It wasn’t the time to tease Vende with word traps.
“Hey.” Kozav stepped over to his friend and gripped his shoulder. “It’s okay. We’ll sort out the ship. Stay with your mate. And we’ll keep our well-meaning mates away for now.”
“I—”
“No. No arguments. Stay.” Rendan pointed at the chair by the platform. “We’re going now, and I’ll check in later to see if you need anything.”
“But—”
“Nope.” Kozav waved over his shoulder as they left the room. “Stay.”
Vende watched them go with little enthusiasm. His guts twisted between his need for his mate and his duty to the ship. He felt tragically sick, as if Dawn’s condition affected him directly.
He sat up and looked around, seeing Yazen and Whelon across the room. They were stopping at each bed to check on the patients and administer medicine. When he saw them open a chilled cupboard with only a few bottles in it, he remembered the shortages, and fear sliced into his every cell.
What if they ran out of their Preor medicines? What if they couldn’t treat his mate properly? The idea of something happening to her was unacceptable. She was as beautiful and delicate as the flowers she so loved, and Vende would do anything to protect her.
Chapter Twelve
Dawn was both relieved and anxious when her eyes fluttered open, revealing gleaming metal ceilings and bright lights. She was in another hospital. She was relieved because being in a hospital meant she had an episode, but she wasn’t dead. The anxiety rose because she felt as if something new was wrong with her. This didn’t seem like the same ‘ol, same ‘ol thing. It was… different in a way she couldn’t explain. Not yet.
She rolled on the bed, glancing at her surroundings and attempting to identify her location. When her eyes fell on Vende she remembered everything all at once.
It was like a computer booting up. First, she had access to her usual memories and vague thoughts. Then information about Preor flew behind her eyes. She could see lush pastures rolling out into valleys and impossible mountains. A giant planet. A giant forest… with immense dragons flying above.
Goosepimples flooded her skin and she gasped, squirming.
Vende sat up quickly, gripping her hands as he looked into her eyes. “Dawn, you are awake!”
“Where am I?”
“In the med bay of the Preor ship.” He rose from his seat. “Let me get the healing master—”
“No, it’s okay. I’m okay.” She squeezed his hand and refused to release him. “Can I have some water, please?”
Vende snatched his hands back and took off like his life depended on getting her a drink as Dawn slowly pushed herself upright. The bed folded by itself to give her a back rest and she let it support her as she sank into the cushioned surface. She carefully moved her fingers and toes, waiting for the telltale signs of numbness or tingling that would tell her she had lost more nerve connections.
Yet… there was no numbness, no tingling. She could feel the blood as it rushed through every part of her body. She felt no pain in her temples and no pressure behind her eyes.
When Vende returned with the water, she gratefully took it and gulped the liquid down. She handed the glass back to Vende and sat upright a bit more, eager to try and get up.
/> “No, sit down.” He wasn’t having it.
“But I’m fine. I just want to—”
“No! You will stay!”
Dawn giggled, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Vende tried to stare at her with a furious frown, but he ended up smiling as well. “You’re not the tough guy you pretend to be, Vende.”
“I’m not pretending to be anything,” he grumbled.
“But you are. Why don’t you want anyone to see your heart?”
He stared into her eyes. “Because it belongs to you alone.”
Dawn’s cheeks heated with a rush of blood and she looked away. Although she loved the way he made her feel, she still had trouble believing she was important to anyone.
“Are you well?” Vende’s words had enough emphasis to cut glass.
She nodded and touched her head. “I feel incredible!” She smiled up at him. “My head used to hurt, everywhere. Like it was bruised across every surface. Anywhere it didn’t hurt was numb and empty.” She shook her head a little, swishing her hair.
“Now it’s like… a big house with every light switched on. I can see everything, understand everything.” Joy rose in her, a cascading wave that swept through her heart as the urge to sing and dance surged.
Vende squeezed her hand and she looked into his big, sad eyes. She leaned over and kissed him gently, feeling her lips awaken just like they had before. Even though she was still sorting out all the new knowledge in her brain, she was a lot surer about the mating stuff than she had been before.
Vende deepened the kiss, pressing his lips to hers. She shuffled toward him eagerly, encouraging him and meeting his desire with her own. She squirmed and was ready to do more when someone nearby cleared their throat.
Vende jumped, spinning to confront the intruder only to immediately stand down when he saw it was Yazen. The medical officer tilted his head and frowned.
“It is a med bay, not a pleasure palace.” Yazen stepped inside. He was only a little cross and gave Dawn a soft smile as he lifted her arm to check her pulse. Vende watched him with suspicious eyes the entire time he touched her.
Yazen trailed his hands up Dawn’s neck to check her bones and muscles, finally resting them across the curved scar above her ear. “It is amazing, but you already have less inflammation at the scar site.” The Primary Healer shook his head and made notes on a tablet. “It’s physical. This is groundbreaking.”
“What do you mean?” Dawn tucked strands of hair behind her ear. “What happened to me?”
Yazen stepped over to the monitors and pushed a few buttons, bringing up a familiar brain wave scan. It was in higher definition and clearer than what she’d seen on Earth, but she recognized it as her own.
“Here is your brain activity in the first half an hour after encountering Vende and triggering the Knowing.” He pointed out the strange web pattern, bright lines and so many dark shadows.
Dawn nodded. “Most of my test results have looked like that. One doctor said I was lucky I could even dress myself.”
“Yes, it is fascinating.” Yazen seemed to have forgotten he was talking to his patient as he began to swipe through digital pictures. “The initial accident split your skull and took out a chunk of your brain in one place, severe trauma. Then the rest of your brain was bruised by the impact that cracked the skull.” He shook his head, still looking through pictures.
“You healed, quite remarkably and very fast.” Yazen pointed out bulgy looking spots on the edges of her brain. “The cells rejuvenated, but you can’t replace memories or knowledge, so you had gaps. A lot of these gaps were caused by scar tissue forming, surrounding structures healing, or others dying.”
“One doctor told me the connections would erode within ten years.”
“He was right.” Yazen spoke, his tone matter-of-fact. “Your brain was deteriorating. Your CSF pressure wouldn’t stabilize. Sooner or later it was going to kill you or leave you a vegetable.”
“Excuse me!” Vende spluttered. “Vegetable! What magic is this that turns a human woman into a root plant?”
Yazen grinned as he turned around.
Dawn giggled and spoke to her mate. “It’s a common Earth term for someone who has no brain function, no motor skills and no awareness.”
“I’m not sure I understand. Some vegetables can be quite vibrant.”
Dawn reached out and took his hand. She squeezed it, hoping to give Vende some confidence or at the very least, some patience.
“If you are feeling well, Dawn, you are free to leave.” Yazen quickly saved the results into the computer and then moved to unhook Dawn from the monitors. “I’ve never seen anything like your recovery, but you are twice the woman you were when you were carried in by Vende.”
Dawn patted her head uncertainly. “Are you telling me that my brain is fixed?”
Yazen turned and smiled, taking her hands. “The Knowing is magic. For all our science, we still don’t know exactly how it works. Your scans don’t lie. When you first entered this room, you had a full brain but most of it was dark. The damage done in the initial accident was too severe to ever heal, especially because you were a child. The headaches got worse as you got older, correct?”
She nodded.
“It’s because your body was trying to grow but your brain couldn’t. You never developed enough brain function to be completely normal.”
Even though she had heard things like this before, it had a sudden impact on her that she had never felt before.
My brain was broken.
Her carefree attitude had been a blessing bestowed upon her by the original trauma. She simply never had the brain power to really understand what was wrong with her.
Now I do.
“The Knowing has rushed through your mind and demanded that you know things,” Yazen continued. “In order to download the information, it had to force you to access all your memory storage. The pain you endured was your brain coming back to life.” He shrugged.
“I’ll want you back here to check in and we will definitely want more scans from you. In the meantime, though, you can go and see the ship with your mate.” He smiled and she smiled back as she let Vende help her off the platform. She felt stronger than she ever had.
She looked up to Vende as he put his arms around her. She couldn’t think of a single thing in the universe she needed except him.
“Are you hungry?” He asked gently, and Dawn realized she was. She wasn’t just hungry. She was burning from within, desperate to fill those empty spaces inside her with information.
Chapter Thirteen
Vende was exhausted and it wasn’t even late morning yet. It felt like he had been flying hard for a whole day when relatively he had not done much physical work. A wander down on Kouvai Nihon, a traumatic teleport, a mate found and almost lost.
He had never felt this way before in his life, but he wished everything would simply stop. He needed peace and quiet. He needed to lie down or work out hard. Most of all, he needed to know for sure that his mate was well.
As they walked down the hall, he kept a hand between her shoulder blades, guiding her along. Her smile was so soft and sweet he had to hold his frustration in check when other Preor responded by smiling back. It made him feel frantic and jealous, even though he knew he had no reason for those emotions.
It is because we have not mated. All of this will settle down once I claim Dawn.
He had no assurance of such a thing. He just hoped the rest of his existence wasn’t going to be a constant dance of jealousy and frustration.
When they reached the rec room he heard voices inside, yet he did not know if this made things better or worse. She should meet the others, of course. He just had not had any time to get to know her himself. It seemed his jealousy could manifest for any reason, not just as a response to other males but in response to anyone.
When they came through the door the three women sitting on the sofa looked up with expectation. Carla and Grace had been present at their first
meeting and Delaney had heard about the new human-Preor mate on board. They couldn’t wait to talk to her, obviously.
Vende stood in the doorway awkwardly as Dawn hurried over to the women. There was a mess of hugs and hand shaking as they reconnected and introduced themselves. All of them laughed and talked too loudly. Vende tried to ignore the situation and went to the bench for some food. Someone had made bacon and egg rolls and he let this lift his mood a little.
Humans had strange eating habits but slices of pig with fowl eggs was incredibly satisfying. Enough protein to satiate a dragon, too. Dawn appeared at his side, smiling brightly as she took some fruit and bread from the table. She made a cup of tea and Vende poured juice for himself.
Vende had watched other Preor joining in these simple routines and had always thought it was a waste of time. He could not understand why humans regularly called a halt to the day’s activity so they could eat and talk. How could there be that much to talk about?
His frustration faded as he sat beside Dawn and watched her. She laughed with the other women, talking with them as comfortably as if they had been friends for years. He enjoyed his food slowly and was startled to realize he was perfectly content just sitting watching her interact with the other females.
As he paused with his food in front of his face, Delaney caught his eye and grinned. Vende had the urge to look away but held her gaze instead. She smiled and tilted her head at him, and he smiled back.
Then he did look away. He had to. He had never responded to anyone in such a warm manner before.
Something is wrong with me.
Even though he could not shake this idea, he had no desire to get up and return to his duties, either. He had the vague notion his crew members would be running amok with the engineering master out of action, but he had trouble caring.
It is going to be the ruin of me.
Dawn laughed at something Grace said, throwing her head back as she held her belly, heralding her joy. Vende watched her as if everything had slipped into slow motion. The light trickled across her hair and her eyes sparkled, entrancing him.