by Karigan Hale
I'll be here
Somewhere in between
Reality and dreams
Is where you'll find me
Always waiting for you.
When he sang the last lines, the smile froze on Lizzie's face. She almost dropped the phone. Those were the exact words from one of her heart-vomit high school poems. The ones in her journal she had hidden in her room. The one no one knew about. Unless...
She narrowed her eyes at him as he continued to sing. He must have read her journal the day he took his clothes out of her bag. The same day he confronted her about paying for all the repairs. He smiled sheepishly, clearly realizing she'd recognized her own sappy words. Of course, they sounded much better when formed by his rich, velvety voice.
When he finished, the bar erupted into applause. He smiled in surprise.
"Thank you, very much," he said. "Now something a bit more familiar. Feel free to sing along if you know it." He broke into "American Pie" by Don McLean to the delight of the audience. Lizzie stopped the video after a few bars. Why had Zay used her words?
"I think my little brother has a crush on you," Zander said. Lizzie snapped her eyes to him. "And doesn't think too highly of me," he added.
"That's not true. To either. Zay and I are just friends, and he doesn't know about us, right?" she asked. Xavier couldn't have a crush on her. They'd spent almost every day for the past year together with hardly any flirting. He was her best friend.
"You know I haven't told him about us," Zander said. "But he barely took his eyes off you during that song."
"Yeah, because he stole my poem for his lyrics," she explained. "He was just waiting for me to notice."
"Why does he get to read your poems?" Zander asked offended.
"He doesn't. He must have snuck a peek at some point. I'm not sure how I feel about it actually," she said frowning. The song was really good. The melody fit her lyrics perfectly. But those were her private thoughts. And embarrassing. Especially since the inspiration for those words sat right in front of her. And had been inside her last night. She felt her face heat at the memory.
"Well, when he becomes famous, ask for writer's credit and a cut of the royalties," he teased.
"I may have to. He's totally going viral after I post this video to YouTube," she said. Did she want her poem out there in the world? She hesitated over the delete button.
Then glanced back at Xavier who started the next song. He gained confidence with each new chord as the crowd ate him up.
Fuck it. No one knew those were her words except the Drake brothers and herself. More people deserved to hear Xavier sing.
A group of pretty girls in summer dresses had formed a semi-circle around him. They were looking at him with what her mother would call goo-goo eyes. Lizzie didn't blame them. Xavier, like his brother, was gorgeous and muscular. They had bone structures carved by the gods and strong jawlines always hinting at stubble. Xavier may not have had Zander's unique eyes, but he did have vocal chords. And he looked damn good strumming a guitar. If Lizzie hadn't been half in love with Zander, she probably would have been one of those girls with their panties in a twist over Xavier.
She gasped out loud.
"Lizzie, you okay?" Zander asked. "All the color just drained from your face. Sit down. You look like you're gonna faint."
"I'm fine," she said. But sat down next to him anyway. Dammit. She was half in love with Zander. Oh shit, not good. Not good at all. Maybe it was more like a third in love. Or even a quarter.
Or probably more like two-thirds if she was incredibly honest. Shit. Shit. Shit.
She was just over-reacting from the amazing sex they'd just had. Sex drunk, like Zander was the other night. It wasn't love. It was libido. She took a calming breath.
"You need to rest more. Have you eaten anything tonight?" Zander asked.
"I've been munching on some things," she said. He frowned at her.
"Take a break and eat something. You don't have to work this hard all the time, Lizzie," he said.
She felt her hackles rise. Was he seriously going to mention her money? Again?
"Down girl. I only meant you're going to work yourself into exhaustion if you don't take a break every once in a while. I'm sure even Brendan does," Zander said as if reading her mind.
"What do you mean 'even Brendan'? Because he's 'the boss'. So, what, then? I'm just the bartender-slash-waitress-slash-hired help?" she asked.
"Lizzie. Where is this coming from?" he asked. "I'm just concerned because you suddenly went pale."
"What part of I've been doing just fine on my own don't you comprehend? I don't need a babysitter," she pushed her chair back and stood up. " And for the record, I'm co-owner of this bar. Owner."
Zander watched Lizzie stomp away from him unsure of what just happened. They'd had an amazing night together last night—one he certainly wouldn't forget anytime soon—and were flirting playfully with each other all night tonight. Where did he go wrong?
They'd been talking about Xavier's song. She'd glanced over to where he was surrounded by all those girls and practically passed out.
Oh no. She was in love with his little brother. She totally regretted sleeping with him last night because it ruined any chance with Xavier. He scrutinized Xavier—still crooning to the girls in the front row more confident now since he'd gotten positive feedback from the crowd—and then Lizzie—still pale, but smiling easily at each customer as she made her way around the crowded bar room. Every once in a while, Lizzie would glance over at him, catch him watching her, and knit her eyebrows together. She'd quickly glance away again softening her expression for whomever she was talking to.
She was one confusing female. Even more so than normal. Usually he knew exactly what he did to piss a woman off. Or what they perceived he did. This time he was grasping at straws. Was it Xavier? They didn't seem to be overly into each other. Of course, he'd only been around them for like a week. They'd been working together for over a year. Still, his female pissed-off-o-meter wasn't pinging on that possibility.
She definitely hated when he mentioned her money. He'd learned that lesson fast after their fight Friday morning. But she was over-sensitive to the topic, always jumping to the conclusion he only liked her for her money. But he had his own now. Nowhere near what she had squirreled away in some bank somewhere but enough to live comfortably in one of the most expensive cities on the East Coast.
Although after Tiffany, whose only goal in life was to be a trophy wife, Zander could understand better why Lizzie felt strongly about hiding her money. She wanted to be more than her bottom line. And anything or anyone suggesting her money was her worth pissed her off.
But he hadn't mentioned her money. Just her job. She was so proud of being a partner in the bar business. Nick surmised she'd only started working there to rebel against their mother. It was the opposite of what their debutante high-society mother would want her only daughter to be doing. Zander was impressed. He meant it when he said he was concerned she worked too hard. Overcompensating for the stigma of only having mommy and daddy's money. If she kept up at this pace, she was going to make herself sick.
She'd gotten mostly pissed off when he mentioned being concerned about her. In his experience, most girls would go all sappy on him for noticing and caring. It would earn him points in the boyfriend department really quick. Of course, he wasn't Lizzie's boyfriend. He was leaving next week. She'd made it very clear whatever was between them was casual and temporary. When he left, it was over.
Which made sense. Sustaining a long-distance relationship when neither partner wanted to relocate was impossible. Still, it had hurt just a little that their love making hadn't meant as much to her.
And when exactly did he start thinking of it as love making and not just fucking? Great. Falling for Lizzie was not productive. He should be thanking her for constantly pushing him away. Time to start thinking with his dick again and not his head.
Or his heart.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
After Xavier's first set, Zander got up to leave. He'd supported his brother, but he did have a business meeting tomorrow. And he hoped Lizzie's offer of a sleep-over was still outstanding. He'd tried for the last while to figure out what got her upset but couldn't seem to pinpoint it. He paid his tab with Gabby then put himself in a position where Lizzie would have to walk by him.
When she inevitably did, he grabbed her arm to stop her. "I'm heading out," he said. "Do you have a minute to walk with me?"
"Sure," she said. "Let me just put this order in."
He waited by the door while she did. They walked to his car in silence.
"What did I say to piss you off, Lizzie?" he finally asked.
"I'm not pissed off," she said.
"Could have fooled me. You've basically been ignoring me since Xavier started," he said. "Are you sure there isn't anything between you two?"
"What? No. I've told you many times before. We're just friends," she repeated.
"Then why are you constantly mad at me?" he asked.
She sighed. "I don't know. I guess because I'm nervous around you, too," she admitted.
"You're nervous around me, so you yell at me?" he asked, unsure how those two things correlated.
"It's like a defense mechanism. Like your sexual innuendos," she explained.
"Ah," he said. That he did understand. "You don't have to be nervous around me. Not anymore."
"Easier said than done. I'm sorry, though. I'll try to be less angsty," she said visibly relaxing.
"Can I still come over later?" he asked hopefully.
"Yeah. I'd like that," she said. "I'll text you when I'm on my way home."
"I can't wait," he said and hugged her. He kissed the top of her head. Then leaned back to kiss her lips. The kiss deepened. And her phone buzzed.
She broke their connection to look at the screen. "My mother," she said. "I should take this, or I'll hear about it later."
"Totally understand," he said. "See you tonight, Lizzie."
"Bye," she said as he got into his car. She picked up the call.
"Mom," she said flatly.
"Hello to you, too," her mother said. "Where are you?"
"I'm on the moon," Lizzie said sarcastically. "Where do you think I am?"
"No need for sass. Will you be available to help us move some of the dining room things tomorrow? I don't trust the hired help with our china," she said.
"Maybe," Lizzie said truthfully. She did feel bad she wasn't at her parents more this past week. "You know we're still dealing with the clean-up at McConnell's, though, so it depends."
"Can't you hire someone to finish cleaning? You are the boss after all," her mother said.
"So is Daddy, and he works harder than I do," Lizzie pointed out. She waved to Zander as he drove by her and out of the parking lot. He blew her a kiss and batted his eyelashes which made her chuckle.
"Well, hopefully not for long. Nick is ready to take over, and your father deserves a break," her mother said. "It's one of the reasons we're selling the house."
"Really? Nick wants to take over the firm?" Lizzie asked. He hadn't mentioned it to her. No wonder he'd been stressed lately.
"He's been groomed for this moment his entire career," her mother said. "You know, with Nick moving up, there will be an opening."
"Mom. We've been over this. I don't want to make investments my life. I'd hate it. Besides, I have a career I love," she reminded her mother.
"You could work with your brother and still keep your little bar. Hire another waitress or bartender, like I suggested," she said.
"I'm not having this conversation again. I'm working. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know about the dining room, okay?" Lizzie said rubbing her eyes. Talking to her mother always gave her a headache. "Xavier is singing tonight, so we're already down one person."
"I don't know why you still hang around those Drake boys. You know the older one is back in town? I heard Nick telling your father just yesterday," her mother commented.
"Those Drake boys have done very well for themselves," Lizzie defended them. She really wanted to tell her mother about sleeping with Zander just to hear her reaction. But the perpetual I-told-you-sos after he left weren't worth it in the long run. Plus, she'd rather tell her mom when she could see the expression on her prissy face.
"In any case, Lizzie. Think about what I said. And if you can't help tomorrow, maybe you could carve out some time from your busy schedule this week?" her mother said.
"Of course, Mom. I'll touch base with you tomorrow, okay?" she said.
"Talk to you then, honey," her mom said and disconnected.
Seriously, Lizzie thought as she walked back inside, what sort of vibes gave everyone the impression she needed guidance and advice? She loved her life. She didn't need career advice. She didn't need nutrition advice. She didn't relationship advice. No one gave her credit for everything she'd accomplished on her own. Without Mommy and Daddy's help. Without a man by her side.
Of course having Zander around the past couple days hadn't been too terrible. She liked sleeping next to him. And with him. In all senses of the phrase.
If she wanted to continue to sleep with him while he was in town, she needed to get a grip on her fight or flight response. Apparently, she relied a little too heavily on the fight part.
Not only was she nervous around him, but she was also protecting her heart from the inevitable end of their relationship. Who could blame her, right? She needed to push him away a little to make sure she would survive after next week. Self-preservation was smart.
The bar door opened as she reached for the handle. Brendan stood there flushed and smiling. "There you are!" He stepped outside to join her.
"What's wrong?" she asked concerned. "I was just on my way back in."
"Nothing's wrong. I think we have a lead on the assholes who smashed the bar," he said excitedly.
"Really? How? When?" she asked capturing his excitement.
"One of our customers, Alejandro, said his punk ass little brother was talking with his friends about how they know who did it. Of course, it could be all teenaged bragging—" he explained.
"But it's more than we've had so far!" Lizzie finished. "I have a good feeling about this, Brendan. Are the police talking to them?"
"Alejandro is going to tell them in the morning. We may have an answer by tomorrow night!"
"Closure would definitely help put it all behind us. I knew it would work out," she said.
"Okay, we've left Gabby in there by herself," Brendan said holding the door open for her.
Lizzie smiled from ear to ear. This was the silver lining she needed on her otherwise up and down day. She had a great career, a wonderful business partner, her own home, and a hot man wanting to share her bed. Yup, her life was pretty perfect at the moment.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"You put my song on the internet?" Xavier yelled at her the next day. He'd stormed into the bar, grabbed Lizzie by the arm and drug her into the office. She could feel the fury rolling off of him. Her first thought was he had found out about her and Zander.
"That's what you're so upset about? You are so good, Zay. You saw the way the crowd reacted," she explained. She never thought he'd be so pissed about it.
"I didn't give you permission. It was bad enough you and Brendan forced me into playing in the first place," he said pacing away from her and back again.
"It has so many likes and shares already. People love it," she said.
"Not the point, Lizzie. You went behind my back," he said.
"Because I knew you'd say no if I asked." He threw up his hands as if she'd made his point for her. Okay, that did sound kind of bad. She tried again. "I did it for you. And the bar," she said. "So many people have asked when you're playing again."
"The answer is never. Last night was a once in a lifetime favor," he said.
"Why are you so against it? You're so talented," she said. "The more you do it,
the easier it will be."
"Lizzie, what part of 'I don't want to' don't you understand. You just yelled at me the other day for trying to micromanage your life and now you're doing the same thing to me! I'm an IT guy. Not a musician. I didn't ask for your help," he shouted running a hand through his hair.
"Well, I didn't ask for you to steal my poetry, either," she said. "Those are my inner thoughts and feelings, too."
"The difference is no one knows that but you and me. It's my face and my voice everyone sees," he said.
"I still don't understand why you're so upset. We've posted our live performers on our social media accounts before. I didn't know you felt so strongly about it," she said trying to defend herself.
"Well I do feel strongly about it. Maybe if you'd had your thoughts on anything besides Zander's dick, you'd have been able to pick up on that fact. Or at least had the decency to ask me first," he said.
"Is that what this is really about? Zander? And whatever you think is going on with us?" her eyes flashed.
"No, Lizzie. It's about going behind my back. It's about you not wanting help from anyone else, but then doing the opposite," he said. "But while we're on the topic of Zander, let's clear the air there, too, shall we." She tensed her jaw and crossed her arms.
"It's really none of your business," she said through clenched teeth.
"Really? When I see my best friend about to get hurt, that's none of my business? When I know you're making a huge mistake, I'm just supposed to sit back and not say anything?"
"Yes. Like I said before, I'm a big girl. I know what I'm doing. Consenting adults are allowed to have fun," she said unable to stop herself. She just confirmed for Xavier she and Zander had actually slept together. Well, too bad. He'd have to get over it.
"Right. That actually does make sense since you seem incapable of letting anyone get close enough to you to care about," he said.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Even as she said it, she remembered her confession of using anger as a defense mechanism.