by Sara Reinke
* * * *
When he left her, the sun was a dim glow upon the edge of the horizon. Charlotte wanted to beg him to remain. She pressed her lips together against a desperate plea for him to keep with her, to stay. When he leaned over her, dressed again, ready to go, his eyes were filled with sorrow and implore. “Come with me,” he whispered, kissing her. “Please come with me.”
She thought of him hanging; of Will, Lewis, and Reilly all dangling side by side from the broad limbs of the Tyburn tree, their hands trussed before them, their legs jerking, feet thrumming as their bodies convulsed against the nooses—the Tyburn jig, this gruesome parody of dance was called. Her eyes filled with tears as she touched his face.
“I cannot,” she said. She hugged him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his tousled hair. She shuddered against him, and he held her tightly, gasping in heartbreak against her ear. More than any pleasure his hands or hips had ever brought to her, this was what she would remember the most, what would always be precious to her, no matter what the remnants of the day would bring. The warmth of his breath against her; the strength of his arms, his hands; the measure of his heartbeat apparent through his shirt; the fragrance of his skin and hair pressed against her nose.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I will always love you, and I will come for you.” He drew back from her, taking her face between his hands. “I will come for you,” he said again. “If Lord Essex is dead, I will not let Roding have you.”
“You cannot…” she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. “Will, he will see you hanged!”
“I do not care,” he said. “Let him do his worst. I would rather be dead than be without you, Charlotte. I…I would rather my breath be choked from me at Tyburn than to draw ten thousand more without you beside me.”
“I love you,” she said, kissing him. “He cannot take that from us, no matter what he does. He cannot change that. He will never make me forget it. I love you.”
When he was gone, she sat on the edge of her bed. She watched the sunrise with dazed, unhappy eyes. She covered her face with her hands and wept.