“He might as well be.” Jake’s mouth snapped shut, as if he hadn’t meant for that to slip out. He rubbed his face in his hands. “I can talk to him, but he can’t respond. It’s not the same thing as having him here.”
The words stung, as if our bond was second to his with Denny’s, like I’d been a place holder all that time. “But why the Ghosts? What do they have to do with accident? How does losing Denny lead to you thinking life as a terrorist is the path forward?”
“I found something here. Something I lost when Denny…”
I let the silence persist because it helped mend that void, even if it never fully healed. When it was clear he wasn’t going to finish his sentence, I said, “So that’s it? You found something that was missing? That’s not a lot for me to go on.” I sighed, my brain racing to understand, but the answer kept slipping from my grasp. “What happened to our unstoppable duo? Conquering the world together. Never abandoning each other.” He’d promised we’d always be there for each other. But breaking promises was his new default. “What part of becoming a terrorist seemed like a good idea?”
He flinched when I’d said the word terrorist again. Maybe I was getting to him. Maybe I could make him remember what we’d done for each other.
“Denny and I were supposed to go to college together, but when it was clear he wasn’t going with me, I couldn’t face it alone.”
“So you didn’t go to college at all? You just went off the deep end?” I let out a long breath. “Does Dad know about this?”
Jake froze, like I’d just caught him doing something more illegal than joining the Ghosts.
“So Dad doesn’t know. Got it.” There was something I was missing. A piece of the puzzle that that was preventing me from seeing the whole picture. I needed a new tactic if I was going to get any answers.
“Why should I want to help them?”
“Because there’s something you don’t know about the accident.”
I shifted on the bed. Now we were getting somewhere. “What?”
“It was the authorities’ fault.”
“What do you mean? They said you were inexperienced new drivers without proper training on flying motorbikes. No licenses. It was an accident.”
Jake’s gaze slowly moved to meet mine, like he was taking in every word I said. He shook his head once, then a single tear dripped down his cheek.
As mad as I was at him, I squeezed his pinky. Our little symbol to each other that we were listening, that we were here for each other.
“I started it.” He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“I don’t understand.”
“It was so stupid.” He put his hand over mine and squeezed. “We were taunting the authorities. Flying by the station and revving the engines on the bikes so they would rumble the windows. Denny and I were competing to see who could get the closest to the window. I dared him to get the head authority to spill his coffee.” Jake sucked in a breath and let out a half-laugh. “The guy spilled his coffee, but it wasn’t because of Denny’s engine. At least not directly.”
“So what happened?”
“Denny shot past the window, only he revved the engine so loud and screeched the tires against the side of the building at such a high pitch, it shattered the glass window.”
“No, Denny lost control of the bike and shattered the window when he crashed into it.” At least that was the story I’d been told every time I’d asked if I could get on a flying motorbike.
Jake shook his head.
“They found him unconscious in the station.” I kept telling the story as if Jake hadn’t gotten it right. As if he hadn’t been there and didn’t know what had happened.
Jake grabbed his hair and pulled, as if that would release the pent-up frustration. “That’s what the authorities said happened. But Denny recovered from the shattering glass and came around for another pass. As he did, the head authority took control of Denny’s tracker and froze him. The bike’s momentum forced him to crash through the adjacent window into the station, making it seem like he’d lost control of the bike. When Denny landed, his helmet flew off and his head slammed into the wall. He never got up.”
My heart sped up. That couldn’t be real. We all knew the authorities pushed the boundaries, but they never outright abused their power. Not like that. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted to. So many times. But who was going to believe a teenager? Especially one without a license for a crotchrocket. One that was out way after curfew. And one that had contributed to destruction of property. The authorities cut me a deal before Mom and Dad picked me up. They agreed not to press charges if I kept my mouth shut. So I did.”
“The authorities just got away with putting Denny in a coma?”
“That’s exactly why I’m here.” A smile tugged at his lips. I knew it well. That was the devious, I’m-up-to-something expression. The smile he used to give me when he lied to our parents after taking me for ice cream right before dinner. But it held a slight difference now. The smile he wore was so tainted with darkness, it smelled of revenge.
I pulled my knees up to my chest. None of it made sense. My head was exploding. Everything I’d thought I’d known about the accident, my brother, and about what had happened to Denny had been a lie. Even if Jake and Denny were complete idiots, the authorities had crossed a line. One that couldn’t be uncrossed.
I’d watched Lydia and her parents suffer through Denny not waking up. It had been hell on all of them, Jake included. And it had been completely avoidable. It was a gross abuse of power. How many other times had the authorities abused their privilege? They had certainly walked a fine line when they’d run me through tracker diagnostics.
“Please tell me Denny was the only incident.”
Jake stared ahead like he was playing the scene over and over again on the tracker network, then shook his head a single time.
“How many?”
He remained silent as if lost in thought.
“How many?” The exact number seemed important, even if it wasn’t. Once or countless times, it didn’t matter. No one should have the power to ruin someone else’s life.
“Hundreds, maybe thousands, of others. There’s no way to know for sure. We don’t have a ton of proof. It’s our word against theirs.”
Part of me wanted to fight Jake, but after seeing the distant look on his face and the tears, I knew the accident had been eating away at him for a long time. I didn’t know how he’d lived with such a massive secret for so long.
His dark, discarded poetry and unfinished note made perfect sense. He hadn’t been living with it; it’d been eating away at him. And he’d hidden it from me, not let me help him. Shielded me. I squeezed his pinky.
“If the authorities are abusing their power, then why not fight the legislation, or better yet, get the bad ones fired?”
“Why should the authorities even have that power to begin with? Why should anyone have that kind of power? The power to control, the power to spy on others, the power to get away with it under the law?”
“Laws can be changed.”
“Perhaps over time. But how many more people have to die or get seriously hurt before these things stop happening? There’s this pretty picture of how a tracker is supposed to work, and it sounds great, but when you see how it’s actually being maintained, how it actually executes in the world, the risks far outweigh the benefits. This tech is not worth losing what makes us human.”
Now he was sounding like Bailen. Was the whole Ghost hideout brainwashed? “What they did to Denny was unforgiveable. But this all sounds crazy.”
“That’s exactly it. The authorities are crazy. Crazy drunk on power. And I hate to think what they will do to you knowing that your tracker doesn’t follow their rules. They won’t hesitate to bend the rules when it comes to you. I’m afraid for you, Kai.”
My body shook. I hated him for making me come to terms with it. Part of me didn’t want him to make sense, but
he did. The authorities had nearly hauled me off twice. They’d left me with a scar I could never mend. They prevented my family from observing a tech-free Shabbat, our ability to be Jewish at our very core. And worst of all, if they had messed up my hard reset, my brain could have been turned to goo.
“The way I see it, you have two options. One, go back into the world and let the authorities show you how little they care about their protocol.” He paused, as if giving me time to think.
And in that short span my mind overloaded. The authorities left a trail of pain and torture wherever they went. They ruled by fear. And everything that seemed so great about trackers was carefully wrapped in laws that were only there to keep everyone in line. Perfect obedient minions, imprisoned to the tech. Our perfect little world wasn’t so perfect after all. It was a concrete, windowless cell.
And in the whole world, the only people who had come to terms with it were the Ghosts.
“What’s my other option?” Although I knew, I didn’t want hear it. Because if the words were out in the open, then I’d be forced to face the truth.
“Fight them with everything you have. Help us get the ammo to bring down this tech and destroy everyone who abuses its power. Because they won’t stop coming after you until you’re dead.”
Dead.
That word was a punch right to my gut.
He was right. About all of it. If they could put Denny in a coma and silence Jake, how long would it be before they killed me and made it look like an accident? Over something I had no control over. That hardly seemed fair. And yet I knew it was true in my core.
“I miss home.” I didn’t even know why I said it. It didn’t make sense to miss home anymore. Even if I went home to Mom and Dad, they couldn’t protect me from the authorities. At least if I stayed here, I had Jake. And in a room that felt like I had nothing, having Jake back meant everything.
“This could be your home, if you let it.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “And if you help us, you can have your life back—or whatever life you choose—when this is all over.”
His unsaid words spoke louder, though. We had to survive the hoard of authorities who were hunting us first. And then we’d make them pay for what they’d done.
But none of it mattered because he pouted at me—the same expression that had always managed to sucker me into some crazy scheme when we’d been younger. Something that had ultimately led to our best adventures. Despite my life spiraling out of control, he anchored me to reality, making things feel almost normal. Almost.
I threw my arms around him. He squeezed me so tightly, I struggled to catch my breath. Who needs air? “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.”
I trembled in his arms. I didn’t have any answers, but at least there was some peace of mind in his comfort. My safe space.
When my breathing calmed, he said, “And in case you’ve been wondering, I wasn’t ignoring you. I’ve just been a little… incommunicado.”
I pulled away from our embrace and smacked him playfully on the arm. “Joining a terrorist group is no excuse for not calling.”
“Well, do you see any carrier pigeons around here?”
“Excuses, excuses.” And just like that, we were back to our old carefree selves. It was the thing I loved most about Jake. We had terrible fights sometimes, but we always snapped back to normal as quick as a rubber band.
We both laughed like we were little kids with no worries in the world. When we stopped, his lips pulled tight. “We really need you, Kai. The world is only going to get more twisted and painful. You can help us stop the pain trackers have caused. Help us make things right.”
The blanket fuzz pile I’d created was much larger than I’d expected. “I know,” I whispered.
“Does this mean you’ll help?”
All of Bailen and Jake’s arguments swirled in my head, followed by the horrible torture I’d been through. I thought of my friends. Harlow had experienced painful tests. What if they did the same to Lydia, or Mom, or Dad, or anyone else? I couldn’t let the authorities harm the people I loved, not in the way they’d hurt Denny. They’d taken so much. I wouldn’t let them have more.
The decision that should have been difficult suddenly became simple. It was Jake asking, after all. I trusted him with my life. And if I wanted to live, I had to stay with the Ghosts, fight with them. At least now, I understood why. My path was with the Ghosts. With Jake.
“Dad’s going to kill us.”
He laughed, his carefree usual laugh. “Some things never change.”
Ten
I didn’t know how much time passed, but Jake and I quickly fell back into our old routine of talking over each other. Even though the days ran together, on Friday night he brought candles, wine, and challah so we could celebrate Shabbat. We lit that candles and said all the blessings. And for the first time, it was quiet, no tracker messages, no interruptions—just the two of us sharing stories. On Saturday night, we did a short Havdalah service. I didn’t know where he’d managed to find a braided candle, but it was almost like we were home. Almost like he’d never left.
The lack of all the usual distractions made things better than I ever could have imagined. It lifted a huge weight off me to have Jake nearby. Now that I had him back, things started to make sense again. But we’d lost so much time. I was thankful for the few days we’d gotten back.
Unfortunately, his run-ins with the authorities not only rivaled mine but far exceeded them. His experiences only added to the horrors I’d experienced and cemented my decision to stay. Hopping on the back of the bike with Peyton may not have been such a giant mistake, after all—especially if it had brought Jake and me back together. It was easier to swallow the pain knowing I hadn’t been the only one to experience it.
“So, what now?” I kept my voice lighthearted but secretly shuddered at the possibility of them cutting into my head to remove my tracker. Even after all of Jake’s stories about the Ghosts, my nerves were still on edge.
“Funny you should ask. Bailen wanted to check your tracker readings and run some diagnostics.”
I cringed, knowing that the brother-sister time couldn’t last forever. I was with the Ghosts for a reason. “No more tests.”
He furrowed his brow as if saddened I’d been so hurt. “Oh, Kai, no. Not that kind of test. This is different. It won’t hurt a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. He’s done similar tests on all of us. The authorities’ methods aren’t the only way. Unfortunately, their fear tactics have worked on you.” He blinked a second longer than normal. The fear tactics had worked on him as well. But he’d never admit it. I squeezed his pinky, and we shared a moment of understanding and solidarity. “The information we learn from your tracker could show us how to outsmart Global Tracking Systems.”
“Promise you’ll stay with me?”
“Of course. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He stood up, squeezing my hand back. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I’d be lost or lobotomized by now if it weren’t for Jake and the Ghosts.
He pulled me from the bed and led me down the hall to the large computer room I’d visited the night I’d arrived. Not much had changed, but the vibe was completely different. The machines whirled and hummed around me, but no one stared.
Bailen turned from his monitors. “Ah, Kaya. Ready to cooperate, I see.”
“Who said anything about that?” I crossed my arms for added effect.
Bailen’s smile faded like a kid who’d just lost his favorite toy.
Jake nudged me with his elbow then turned to Bailen. “She’s got some demands before we finalize our arrangement.” Jake turned his back on Bailen and winked at me.
And just like that, we were back to our old antics. Jake would play along while I pulled a fast one on Bailen.
“Wha—?” Bailen swallowed and tried again. “Jake, we don’t exactly have a lot of capital here. What kind o
f things is she demanding?”
It was hard to tell in the light, but there may have been sweat beading up on Bailen’s forehead.
I choked down a laugh and tried to keep a straight face. “My brother doesn’t speak for me. You’d do well to get that straight right now.”
Bailen turned to me. “Okay, what can I do for you?”
“I want a room with a view, for starters.” I rubbed my nose to block the smile exploding across my face.
Jake stepped closer to Bailen. “You heard the girl. Knock a wall down if you have to.”
Bailen’s gaze darted between me and Jake as if he wasn’t sure if the whole exchange was actually happening. “You know we’re underground, right?”
“That’s a whole lot of not my problem,” Jake said with a completely straight face.
I didn’t know how he did it, but the laughter burst from my mouth before I could control it. “Sorry,” I spit out between giggles.
“I leave for a few months and you lose your edge. You’re out of practice.” Jake cracked a smile at me.
Bailen’s gaze continued to dart, but his body relaxed. “Real funny.”
“You should have seen your face.” Jake slapped him on the back like he used to do with Denny when he’d pulled one over on him—proving Jake had come to respect Bailen.
“Can we get back to business?” Bailen rubbed his palms together. “I’m excited to see what’s under her hood.”
“My hood? I’m not a car,” I said.
He looked me up and down. “No, but I can’t wait to inspect—”
“Back off, killer. That’s my sister.” Jake grabbed Bailen’s T-shirt and shoved him against the table.
“Look, dude, I just meant I wanted to check out her tracker, that’s all,” Bailen said.
Jake lunged at him with a grunt but stopped short of punching him. Bailen’s eyes bugged out as he leaned away. “Watch yourself.” He stepped back and gave me another smirk.
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