CHAPTER 2
I glanced at the clock in the dashboard of the ambulance. It was just after two in the morning and I was exhausted. It felt like the night would never end. When you lived in the world of the undead, you could not really fully sleep without fear of being eaten while you were in dreamland.
“Can we talk about why you are shirtless?” Henry asked.
“My shirt was full of guts.” I said, “Zombie guts.”
“So is your friend’s, but he’s wearing his.” Henry said.
“Oh, I won’t be seen without a shirt.” Fred said candidly, “I have a flabby stomach.”
I pushed a strand of hair in behind my ear and glanced at the side mirror. The zombies were still following us at a distance. When Henry and Fred were silent, I could feel myself drift off to sleep.
“So who is in your group?” Henry asked.
His voice snapped me back to consciousness and I rubbed my eyes. If only I could get the energy to stay awake!
“My mom, my girlfriend and a friend.” I said.
“Oh.” Henry said with disappointment in his voice, “You sound like a close-knit group.”
“Yes we are.” I said.
Henry stared off into the darkness in silence, following the headlights as they beamed forward. He seemed distant as if longing to talk about something or someone he missed, but didn’t say a word. We drove in silence for a while until Fred finally spoke
“I wonder whether my sister is still alive.” Fred said in thought.
“Where is she?” I asked, “I mean where was she when it hit?”
Fred shrugged his shoulders and said, “Who can tell? I haven’t seen her in months. She is the only family I have, but we hardly ever speak anymore. She left when my mother died. It’s true what they say; a mother holds the family together – when she dies the family splits and everyone goes their own separate way.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” I said.
“Don’t be.” Fred said, “It is better that she wasn’t around when the infection hit. My mother would have made a big scene about getting infected. She was a drama queen and she would throw a tantrum about every little thing. I bet you she would have complained about being a rotting corpse.”
Fred chuckled at his joke. Though it was not very funny, I smiled at him.
“It stopped raining.” Fred said in a dazed state.
Talking about his sister was just a decoy to get his mind to stop worrying about his daughter. I turned to him and laid a comforting hand on his.
“We will find your daughter.” I said confidently, “Just hang in. We just need to get rid of these zombies and then we will head over to the cemetery.”
“Cemetery?” Henry asked concerned, “What do you want to do at a cemetery? You know a cemetery is filled with corpses right?”
“They’re six feet underground.” I said, “I doubt they will bother us.”
“How do you know?” Henry asked, “The zombies in the movies all climbed out of their graves.”
I chuckled and said, “That’s absurd. None of the zombies we saw so far had dirt on them. It’s just make-believe.”
Henry grunted and said, “We’ll see about that.”
The ambulance made a humming sound, shook a bit and then came to a halt.
“Why are we stopping?” I asked.
Henry nervously checked the fuel gauge and said, “It’s not me. We’re out of gas.”
“What do you mean?” Fred exclaimed.
“Don’t you keep the ambulances filled up in case of emergencies?” I asked.
“Yes, but—“
“This IS an emergency!” Fred exclaimed, cutting him off.
This was just our luck; we would end up with a vehicle that had no gasoline in it.
I spotted the throng of undead approaching in the side mirror and then opened my door.
“We have to go.” I said.
“Go where?” Fred cried out.
My eyes searched the side of the road for any place we could hide. The sides of the road were lined with shops, but every shop had large display windows that could easily give way when the undead banged against it.
“Zac!” Fried cried out, “Where are we supposed to go?
I spotted a shop that had no windows and only a metal door. Its neon light sign was out and the place seemed like the rape capital of the world in the dark, but it would suffice.
“In there.” I said and pointed at the shop.
I jumped out of the ambulance and so did the others. They followed me across the street towards the darkened shop while the crowd of zombies came running towards us. They bit and clawed at the air as if it would thrust them faster.
“Hurry.” I said.
The door was locked, but I jerked the handle and the door opened.
“Get inside.” I said.
Fred and Henry ducked into the shop while I stared at the approaching group of undead. There had to be at least two hundred. The group was bigger than it was back at the hospital which meant than some of the zombies must have joined from intersecting streets as we lured them away.
I stepped into the shop and closed the door behind me. It had three deadbolts which I locked to secure the door. The zombies banged up against the door, but couldn’t get in. I stepped back and stared at the door in silence; waiting for the door to give way, but it didn’t. The door seemed secure enough to last a while or long enough for us to devise a plan of escape.
“Hey, look at this.” Fred said behind me.
I turned around as a light beamed into my eyes. I shielded my eyes as Fred stepped closer.
“It’s a flashlight in the shape of a penis.” Fred said amused, “How cool is this?”
I didn’t care much for the shape of the flashlight, just as long as we had some kind of light.
“You guys…” Henry said to our left.
We walked over to him where he stood in front of a shelf. He kept staring down at whatever was on the shelf in the dark. Fred pointed the flashlight down at the shelf and a DVD cover entitled As Big as it gets came into sight.
“We’re in an adult shop.” Henry said hushed.
“Shut up!” Fred said excited.
He beamed the light all over and started exploring the shop.
“Be careful.” I said, “We do not know whether we are alone.”
“I’ll do a quick sweep of the place.” Fred called out as he disappeared in between shelves of DVDs.
I walked over to the counter, feeling my way in the dark and found another flashlight penis. I switched it on and investigated the area behind the counter. I checked some of the aisles of DVD shelves for any undead, but spotted nothing (except porn of course).
“Is this where you got that whip?” Henry asked and pointed at my belt.
“No.” I said, “I found it in some pervert’s house.”
Henry nodded; though it was evident he did not believe me.
“It’s true.” I averred.
“I didn’t say anything.” Henry said.
Henry turned around and gasped. Behind us was a wall filled with sex toys; the most predominant one was a pink dildo the size of my arm. It looked more like a table leg than a sex toy and was labelled as Cockzilla.
“Who would buy such a big thing?” Henry exclaimed, “It’s huge.”
“I know.” I said in astonishment.
Fred joined us and asked, “What are you looking at?”
Fred looked up at the pink sex toy and his jaw dropped.
“Holy cow.” was all Fred could get out.
“Have you ever seen anything weirder?” Henry asked.
Fred stared at the toy a moment longer and then said, “There is a blow-up cow in aisle four, but this beats the cow.”
“You can beat a cow to death with this thing.” I stated.
Though it was a funny joke, we did not laugh as we were still at a loss for words about the size of the toy.
“Maybe it’s custom made.” Fred said, “For those female ba
sketball players. They are gigantic women, perhaps they need something—“
“Gross...” I cringed and cut Fred off.
Fred slowly reached out to it, but I slapped his hands away.
“What are you doing?” I asked shocked.
“It’s a marvel in its own right.” Fred said, “And who knows, we might need it at some point.”
“To do what with it?” I asked, “Orgasm the zombies to death?”
“Technically, they are already dead.” Henry said.
“I know that.” I said annoyed at the correction.
“How would that work exactly?” Fred asked intrigued.
“We’re not taking the dildo.” I insisted, “End of story.”
Zac Zombie 3: Night of the Undead Page 2