He didn’t respond immediately because of course what they had wasn’t just about sex but it couldn’t be about anything else either.
Then she added with a quick grin, “Though that has been pretty legendary.”
“You want to date me?” he asked, ignoring her attempt at a joke. Apparently he wasn’t able to let go of her admission, which he kicked himself for. He shouldn’t lead her on, that was fake and cruel, but if he told her the truth, she’d leave.
“Yeah, is that weird?”
“Are you asking me?” he clarified.
Laura shrugged. “I can ask you if you’d like, but it was more just a statement of labeling what we’re already kind of doing anyway. I mean, we’re basically living together,” she teased with a tentatively hopeful smile that had her eyes twinkling. She was lovely and kind and it made him feel like an ass for what he was going to do, but he knew he was going to do it anyway.
“I don’t date like that, Laura,” he told her, trying to be honest but also not a dick because he still felt a need to take care of her. “I’m not really a dependable guy.”
This statement had her eyebrows raised.
“I’m not looking for a dog walker, Will. And you were literally the only person I could depend on for a long time. You can’t tell me that has changed much.”
He shook his head. “I have changed, Laura. I’d do anything for you, you know that, but a relationship is not one of those things.”
Laura held his eyes, considering his words. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been honest about things from the beginning so he didn’t know what could be going on in her head.
“Maisey’s family flew out early this morning for Florida. You could stay with me for a few days. The weather is calling for another snowstorm this afternoon so we could extend our slumber party.”
He wanted it so badly, to see her home, to be with her more. It was reckless, it was foolish, he knew it would effectively be leading her on, but even with his anger the idea of her leaving today and not seeing her brought on instant panic.
“Yeah,” he finally said, “let’s park the car at my place, get our stuff and then I’ll have a driver take us there.”
* * *
It was difficult for Laura to be angry at Will’s evasiveness as he followed her into her half of a brownstone because it was basically her favorite place on earth. On one of the quieter streets in the West Village, it was just the place she always wanted in the city, where singles and families alike lived on tree-lined streets and sat on their stoops on Halloween to pass out candy. It was still the city, but it felt like her own little corner.
Lots of people completely upgraded their interiors with shiny marble countertops and chrome finishes, but that had never appealed to Laura. She liked the classic cherry moldings and hardwood floors in her place. Everything was solid and well made and she’d been able to paint the walls fun colors to update the look.
“The bedroom is upstairs,” she told him, “if you want to drop your stuff off.”
Now that the tables were turned and Will was in her space, she was feeling strangely self-conscious. All this time, she’d been focused on Will and her own absolution but she hadn’t considered what would happen if he didn’t forgive her. The moment she’d waited for him to agree to come to her place had been interminable and she’d expected him to take the opportunity to pull back, especially after his no-relationship declaration.
But he’d surprised her and now that he was here she was anxious that he stay, that maybe after all these years she’d found the love of her life. Maybe this had been their destiny all along. Finally, she’d found someone who could love her, scars and all.
Once they were in the bedroom, which he barely glanced at even though it was her favorite place in the world, he was on her. His lips took hers in an urgent kiss, reminding her that they were explosive together because every cell in her body perked up and sighed with a singular, yes, please as his tongue slid into her mouth.
Her arms went around his neck but he pulled back a moment to meet her eyes, his own dark and intense as if he’d been counting down the moments until this one. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, scrolling to something before he turned the screen to her. “I’m clean and I trust you.”
Laura read what appeared to be a lab report from a doctor with an address close to his hotel, which seemed like a good indication that it was legitimate. Not that she thought Will would lie to her, but she wasn’t born yesterday and she only had one body and all that.
“There’s still pregnancy,” she pointed out.
Instead of his being alarmed his eyes actually darkened more, which literally had her heart imploding.
“I’ve still got condoms,” he said, the timbre of his voice low and determined still. “It’s no big deal. Either way, I’ve got you.”
Then he was guiding her back onto her bed, the backs of her legs hitting the soft dove-gray duvet. She gained purchase and slid back to the middle of the bed, pulling him with her. “I’ve got you too.” She smiled, giving him a firm kiss before meeting his eyes. “I’m on the pill. I was just kidding.”
His nostrils flared as he crawled over her on the bed. “You’re really getting it now, Laura,” he warned, pulling off one black leather bootie at a time and throwing them somewhere on her bedroom floor. “It’s so fun to tease me, isn’t it?” He unbuttoned her jeans and tugged them off in one deft flourish, tossing them off to the side, as well.
All signals were a go in her body, alarm bells sounding that a train was coming straight for her core as he leaned down and drew her underwear off with his teeth, lifting her ass clear off the bed with one broad hand. She swallowed against the onslaught of lust that seemed to be attacking even her brain because if someone had asked her something as simple as her name, as she watched him lick his way back up her leg she would have just stared at them dumbly.
Then he flipped her over, and during the past couple of days, she’d come to realize that this was his favorite position. While she had no complaints, she was almost positive it was because he didn’t want to look at her when they were having sex because, like her, he might have to admit that this was much more than sex.
But after his speech outside the restaurant, she knew those were words he wasn’t ready to hear, and as he inserted two blunt fingers inside her, she wasn’t really in much of a confrontational mood. He dropped hot kisses down her spine, sending goose bumps up her back all the way to her scalp. As he was keeping up the rhythm inside her, her hips began to move until he added another finger and she whimpered with pleasure, needing more of him.
When she’d had enough, she flipped over and pushed him down onto the bed against her mountain of pillows. There was no way he was going inside her bare for the first time and not looking at her directly in the eyes so he knew exactly who it was that was taking him. No damned way in hell she was letting him get away with that bit of cowardice.
But God, she had not been prepared for how it would feel. Not just the physical, but his bare self notched at her entrance as she hovered over him. She’d never had anyone else like this and that it was Will was opening something inside her she hadn’t expected. The boy who’d kept her safe, who’d been willing to risk everything to get them out, he was hers now for real and she just knew she wouldn’t be able to give him up. Not again and not ever.
So she did it, slid onto him, feeling him stretch her, making her his even if he wasn’t ready. Her eyes closed as she took him fully in; resting on his hips she heard him audibly inhale and felt the moment crystallize in her head. This was different, they were different, he was different.
“I’ve never done this with someone before,” she admitted, her voice coming out as a broken whisper as she stretched over him.
He gripped her hips in his hands, his fingertips digging into her flesh. “Me neither.”
Her ey
es flew open to meet his head-on and she felt her heart just open up and expand in ways she hadn’t understood before now. For so many years she’d been looking for the person who fit her life, dating men who looked good on paper, but could never possibly understand her baggage. Will was a loner malcontent and just as lost as he ever was, but that didn’t matter to her. She’d looked for uncomplicated men who would be strong enough to overlook her past, but Will was probably the most complicated person she’d ever met, which meant he was the only one who could understand her.
She began to move her hips, their eyes locked even though it felt so good she wanted to shut them and sink into the feeling completely. Her skin was on fire; prickling tingles of heat drew along each inch urging her to move faster over him, to press in, make more contact. But she didn’t want it to end, was mildly alarmed when he licked his thumb and pressed it gently on the heart of her because she wasn’t going to last at all; he was the sexiest man she’d ever seen, all dark hair and eyes and the heated looks he gave her at the most innocuous of times. He watched their joining now as she moved over him, and imagining what he was seeing was erotic for her and she felt herself getting wetter as she rode him.
“Why don’t you touch those gorgeous tits, Laura,” Will instructed, his voice deep and serious.
“Why don’t you do it,” she shot back, “I’m a little busy here.”
She saw that he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I thought you wanted to be in control, but if you’re saying you don’t, I’m happy to take over.”
“That’s what you’re trying to do by telling me to touch myself,” she argued, her voice catching as she thrust over him and a bolt of electricity tore through her.
“You’re right. My apologies,” he grunted, leaning up to take one of her nipples into his mouth without so much as a warning. Then he began moving her hips over him, faster than she’d been doing before, basically taking the control she’d wanted. But it seemed bad form to protest when she was having such a good time. Her head fell back as he bit and twisted her nipple in his mouth, sending darts of liquid to her core.
Then before she could even enjoy it, he was flipping her onto her back.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, breathing heavily and trying to gain some semblance of balance even though her head was just a little off.
He leaned down for a kiss, the muscles in his arms bulging out with the effort,; his tongue danced with her for just a second before he drew back. “I’m sorry, but you’re going too slow and I need you, Laura. I need it more than anything in the world right now. I think I’m literally blind from wanting you to come over my dick like this, bare and raw and I can feel everything. I can feel you,” he growled, sliding into her in one decisive thrust that had them both gasping in pleasure.
“Fine,” she said, gasping for breath as he expertly hit the rough patch inside her, “But you better make it good.”
The directive amused him, but the next thrust wasn’t a laughing matter and Laura sucked in as a wave of pleasure consumed her. She was getting close to falling apart and could barely take the pressure anymore as he pounded into her, his hips jackhammering as if he were a machine, his arms strained on either side of her, the dark veins popping out as he leveraged himself into her, each thrust sending both of them into her wooden headboard.
But she didn’t care; she wanted every single bit of him she could get. She gripped his hair in one hand to pull him down for another kiss, needing the connection, biting on his lip when he tried to end it, licking and sucking when he relented. It was messy; it was unbridled and inelegant, but she’d never felt so wanted in her life. When he reached down and laid his thumb on her center again, the ultrasensitive nub shouting for attention, she thought she was done for. But then he left her mouth to bear down on a nipple and that was it; she came like a shower of fireworks, twinkling brightly above the earth with not a care in the world.
Her breathy moans echoed in her bedroom and it got her going again to watch him as he got closer, unreserved and without his cultivated urbane mask of emotionlessness. Sweat dripped down his chest, catching in the patch of hair high on it; his teeth were clenched, the corded lines of his throat pronounced and sexy as hell. Straight white teeth were bared as he shuttled into her, stopping every so often to savor the feeling of it, to seemingly catalog just how she felt against his skin, the silky texture of her wetness, the velvet softness of her insides.
“Fuck,” he growled, then stilled above her, his body shuddering a mere second before he got himself under control again.
God, she wanted to rattle him out of the man who thought he had to be a statue, wanted him vocal and moaning and as lost to desire as she was. He’d literally taken them to the next level and still wouldn’t let himself fully enjoy it.
Their breathing as they came down from the high was the only thing audible in the darkened room. He hadn’t collapsed directly on top of her, but their chests were nearly touching before he rolled to his back, bringing her into his crook. She felt vulnerable and a little scared at what they’d done and how much it meant to her. After tonight, she couldn’t imagine sleeping with anyone else, not in a million years.
Not being able to help herself, she licked a bead of sweat from his pec and he peered down at her.
“Thanks?” he asked, unsure, but also definitely still a little winded from his outstanding physical performance in the new show called Sex With Will, The Best Laura Ever Had.
She licked another bead and he dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Fuck, Laura,” he said. “That was unreal.”
“I kind of feel like we should definitely keep having sex that way.”
Drawing a hand over her hair, he laughed. “Hell, yeah.”
She wasn’t quite sure what else to say to him when she had, in fact, a lot of things to say but was too chicken to say them. Eventually, silence fell between them as she drew a finger lazily over his chest and he twirled a piece of her hair between his fingers. It was commonplace but special and she never wanted it to end.
It was a mistake, falling into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man who had specifically said he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but if Will Walker wasn’t the man she could take a chance on, then she wasn’t sure she’d ever find one who was.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE SNOW FINALLY STOPPED. Which meant that the roads were also clear, and Will had foolishly agreed to accompany Laura to her parents’ house. Mostly because he hadn’t wanted her to drive three hours by herself, but he also needed to spend more time with her. However, as the drive went on he was unable to stop reliving the last couple of days with her at her place, which made him incredibly agitated. Because he realized he was happy.
And he couldn’t deny it.
Just like when they were kids, he lived to make her smile, to make her laugh, to make her irritated with him. He’d give up his hotels if it was guaranteed to keep her in smiles for the rest of her life. He was falling and there was nowhere for him to go but to be crushed on the ground.
He hadn’t been able to think of a valid excuse to get out of accompanying her when she’d invited him to meet her family. There’d been a million reasons not to go. In fact, he’d already been putting off the work on the international expansion. If it went forward it would be the culmination of all he’d worked for. But he was here in the car on his way to Tewksbury, New Jersey because he hadn’t wanted to say goodbye to her. Couldn’t even fucking imagine it after what they’d shared.
“I think you’re really going to love it at my parents’ place,” Laura told him, grinning from the driver’s seat. The only way he’d agreed to come was if he could do work as they drove, which meant she was driving. He’d wanted to charter a plane, but she’d balked because she didn’t want him paying for a plane for what was her trip, so riding in his Range Rover had been the compromise.
“I’m
sure it’ll be great,” he managed, thinking the exact opposite. It was going to be a complete and utter nightmare from start to finish; he’d never been more sure of anything in his life, but if he’d said no Laura would feel even more pity for him than she already did. And sweet Christ, he hated the pity. He was a goddamn billionaire feared by colleagues and employees alike. The whole damned idea of pity undermined his authority and ambition.
“Okay, well, we’re almost there,” she told him, as they turned into a residential neighborhood.
It was one like any other suburban enclave, cookie-cutter houses decently spaced apart with clean sidewalks and well-groomed landscaping. Blow-up Christmas decorations littered every other yard fighting for dominance over the more tasteful pine wreaths and red velvet ribbon decor. It was one of those quaint places that made him feel out of place. As if these were the kinds of people who could tell that he wasn’t good enough for a real family.
The feeling intensified when Laura pulled into an oversize two-car driveway behind three other midsize SUVs, thready talons of fear pulling at him. Will experienced the seesawing emotions of suffocation and yearning all at once. He would have killed for this setup as a kid, the run-of-the-mill middle-class home that was probably dysfunctional but not in a truly screwed up kind of way.
So, a bead of sweat running down the back of his neck, he pulled an audible and grabbed at his phone. While pretending to concentrate on something important, he ordered himself a Rideshare car that was luckily just around the corner.
Meeting Laura’s eyes, he blew out a disappointed sigh. “Laura, I’m so sorry, but I need to get back to the office. A hang-up with the Dubai land acquisition.”
Her face fell and he felt like an asshole, but there was just no way he could walk into that house that looked like everything he’d dreamed of as a kid and pretend he was fine with never having it. Not with Laura and not watching the proof of how happy she’d been without him.
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