“You see, the day after their medic did that hack-job field surgery on me, I woke up and the world had turned into a kaleidoscope of details, my focus sharper than it had ever been before, my body, bruised and beaten as it still was, suddenly working smoothly as it finally started healing for real. The serum had kicked in for good, and my first order of things—well, second, after some other minor details—was to go after Hamilton. He must have realized that, and before I could get any stupid attempts of mutually assured suicide underway, he told my husband to put a muzzle and leash on his wife, or else. Of course he knew us well enough to be aware that would never work—unless Nate had a very good reason to. Turns out, he did.” There went nothing, I told myself—and went on. “Decker’s still alive, and as it turns out, he changed his mind. He wants his top attack dog back in the fold, and how convenient that now I’m in the game as the perfect way to force Nate’s hand. Since I had no intention of either being killed or brainwashed and turned into a mindless killing machine, we decided that, just maybe, we shouldn’t put all of you in the crosshairs and instead lay so low that nobody would find us, and nobody had a reason to come after any of you. Only that we got complacent, and someone else jumped the crazy asshole train and came after us. I have no idea whether that’s connected, but I know that the powers that be know I’m still alive, and likely, that Nate is, too. I have no illusions that the moment we’re back together, we won’t get a second chance at hiding. So what I’m really asking is for your help to not just get my husband back, but I’m afraid we’ll be back on the warpath after that once more. What do you say? Still mad we tried not to get every single one of you tortured and killed?”
For me, hearing waves of disbelieving murmurs wasn’t funny—but seeing them quiet down as people realized that Pia and Andrej were both still staring at me, motionless, was worth it. The Ice Queen was the first to tear herself out of it, exchanging a quick glance with Andrej before she turned back to me. Her voice, usually so matter-of-fact, had a cold, pressed edge to it that I’d rarely heard—fear.
“You did the right thing, if he’s still alive. Miller suspected as much a few times but we were never able to find even a trace of evidence. Hamilton would have known as he likely got his orders straight from Decker. He was the one who told you?”
I nodded. “Yes, and that he went against his orders to make sure I was dead because he figured that, in turn, would incentivize Nate not to get involved again. I hate to say this, but there’s a good chance the only reason I’m still alive is because Hamilton wanted to remain top dog. All the good that did him in the long run, but I’m not complaining.”
“You always complain,” Pia muttered, but went on before I could do more than grin. “We will help you. There’s no question about that.” A few people looked ready to protest but thought better of it even without her glaring at them. Fuck, I’d missed her so much, I was sorely tempted to annoy the shit out of her and give her a long hug right there. Only that she wasn’t done talking yet, and what she went on to say made my heart sink again. “But I’m afraid it won’t be enough.”
I hadn’t thought an answer could make me feel both conflicted and glad at the same time, and I was more than happy to focus on the latter only. “I don’t intend to wipe that camp off the face of the earth, although we’d probably do the world a favor if we did. I just want Nate back.”
Pia nodded solemnly, but the doubt in her eyes didn’t dissipate. “I can call in a few favors. Ten, twelve people or so. That would get our numbers up to close to twenty. That won’t be enough, even if we had excellent intel—which I presume we don’t?”
I shook my head. “I barely remember how I got out, and the patrols were too tight for me to sneak closer again. Plus, there was that small matter of finding food and water first.” And clothes, but I didn’t think it was time to regale them with the tale of how I’d woken up, tied to that tree, my naked ass exposed to the world.
The Ice Queen nodded again, already turning to Andrej, a rapid-fire conversation in Serbian starting between the two, mentioning names and locations I had no clue about. I felt a little at a loss, not sure what to do now. Rescue came from the woman standing next to Burns—although it didn’t feel much like being saved.
“So, that’s it? We just up and forgive this bitch everything she did?” She got an amused smile from Burns for that—but no protest.
I hadn’t more than glanced at her before, too focused on getting the right words out. She didn’t look familiar—definitely a newcomer—but the fact that she was practically plastered to Burns’s side gave away that they weren’t just friends who happened to be standing next to each other. Bright, intelligent eyes studied me intently, and not very favorably. I could see what Burns saw in her—temper and attitude included; and she was beautiful, no question, the ragged scar across her left jawline adding rather than subtracting from her beauty, standing out slightly against her otherwise flawless, dark skin. I was half tempted to ask her how she kept the skin around it supple, definitely a topic near and dear to my heart. Just maybe not right now as she didn’t sound like she was ready to be my best friend forever yet.
Zilinsky broke off mid-sentence, sending her an annoyed look that I was all too familiar with. “Yes, just like that, since there is nothing to forgive. Ask your lover—he can fill you in on the details if you haven’t caught up yet.”
It was rather funny to see someone else receive the treatment usually reserved for me—and she reacted about as favorably as I would have. “Excuse me? Am I the only one who sees the glaring holes in her story? And you yourself told all of us not an hour ago to be on high alert!”
Andrej gave a soft laugh at that. “But not because of her,” he drawled, looking from me to the ship at my back.
The woman would have nothing of that. “You can’t just give her a pass just because you knew her years ago.”
The Ice Queen gave her a look that screamed, “Watch me!” Burns still appeared highly amused, but he finally gave me a wink that made me relax a little. Apparently, I’d just met my replacement as resident troublemaker.
“I don’t need a pass,” I offered. “But you shouldn’t believe all the BS people say about me. If we have to hash all that out, we’ll both be old and gray before we’re done.”
Her eyes narrowed. Apparently only I found that funny. That wasn’t exactly boding well—but not that unusual. Fuck, but I’d missed them all so much!
Glancing briefly at Red, I proposed, “Maybe there’s a way we can bolster our numbers to where we do stand a chance at accomplishing our goal. That is, if you let someone else besides me leave this dock?”
Pia didn’t look happy about the implications, but before she could say anything, Richards spoke up. “We’re not getting off here. We have other business to conclude. But if you agree to work with us, we can get another ten to fifteen people to cooperate with you. Our next stop is the Silo, and I have someone in mind there.” As did I, come to think of it, I realized—once this was settled, I should ask about what had happened to the Idiot Brigade that we’d left there on the way to Canada. Probably dug in like ticks, and less than thrilled to leave their comfortable, underground lives.
The Ice Queen looked at me, obviously less than thrilled about the prospect of dealing with the likes of Richards—and whoever he would manage to convince to come along. “Do you trust them?”
It occurred to me that Burns would also make for a great character witness, but I could see why she was asking me—that way, the blame for whatever would go wrong was my burden to bear. I shrugged, not quite sure what to respond. “Right now, the number of people I trust is rather limited; those I trust explicitly, even more so. But Nate trusted Richards enough to make him the one person he kept in contact with, so I guess since this is about rescuing him, why not?” That whole “beggars can’t be choosers” thing definitely sucked.
Pia’s mouth twisted into an even thinner line but she sounded downright civil as she turned back to Richards. �
��What’s your stake in this? Why would you help her? And why would the people you’re planning to coerce into helping her?”
Richards, if anything, was amused by her distrust—but it couldn’t have come as a surprise. I was pretty sure he knew who he was dealing with, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if the same was true in reverse—at least as far as my involvement with Red was concerned. I really needed an update on the general state of their intel, and stat.
“It’s not really coercion if you’re triggering a contingency plan,” he offered, briefly glancing at me but mostly talking to the Ice Queen. “You’re not the only ones who are less than thrilled with the developments of the past years. There are some who have been waiting for a chance at change for quite a while. But for that to happen, we’ll need an agent of change.”
I could tell that Pia was getting mighty pissed at him beating around the bush. I couldn’t help it—I would have paid good money to see them laying into each other, but right now didn’t seem the right place or time for that, so I cut right to the chase.
“And you think my husband is said agent.”
Red inclined his head after a moment’s—likely deliberate—hesitation. “He’s a great candidate. More so, he’s a name that people know. What might very well get you killed if you walk into the wrong bar has the power to attract followers elsewhere just the same.”
Yup, I was with the Ice Queen there—his verbose statements were starting to get on my nerves as well.
“So what you’re saying is, you will help, and you have connections for more help, but it all comes at a price.”
“Doesn’t it always?” Red mused. “But in this case, you might find that the logical consequence of you and him both returning onto the stage coincides with the needs and wants of certain elements. Why not take help freely offered when you would have done what they want you to, anyway?”
I should probably have shut up there but couldn’t make myself. And since I’d already quite publicly spit out my suspicions, I might as well seal my fate. Cocking my head to the side, I did my best to judge both Red’s reaction, but also those of his men, and Gabriel Greene’s as I spoke. “So you suspect that what happened to my husband is indeed connected to Decker, and whatever the fuck he’s doing.”
Cole and Hill had too much of a pokerface to give me anything. Gallagar obviously knew nothing. Greene seemed way too interested in checking on everyone’s reactions himself to give me much. His guards were well-trained, not showing anything, either. I was sure that Red could have completely closed off his face as well, and took it as a show of trust that he gave me the smallest of smirks before his face turned into a stony mask. “Direct connection? No. As you’ll see when we get together and share what intel we’ve gathered in the past, we have lost a lot more skin to those slavers than any other faction currently operating in the country. But you may be less alone with your raging paranoia than you likely think.” He added another pause, his focus switching to Pia. “We’ll share intel when we meet again. Your choice when and where.”
That she knew where we would be going was obvious—another detail I would need to ask about. She briefly looked at Andrej by her side before coming to a decision. “You know the location of the old Ozark settlement in Arkansas? Meet us two miles north of there, exactly thirty days from now.”
Red winced but nodded a moment later. “We will be there.”
Why did that location ring a bell? I’d never been there myself—and it could have gained significant infamy in the time since whatever I might have remembered had happened—but it definitely didn’t come with good impressions. It was only when I saw Greene make a face that I made the connection. I vaguely remembered that, the first time we’d come to New Angeles, I’d talked to some scavengers who had been from that very settlement—and had lost a lot of people when it had been sacked by what had been declared the rogue army faction Taggard’s people had belonged to as well.
She likely couldn’t have chosen a less neutral ground, unless it had been that blasted base in Colorado.
No one else said anything, prompting Greene to clear his throat. “That’s it? You’re done here? Very anticlimactic. I would have expected at the very least someone to get shot, if not killed. None of you are living up to your reputations.”
Red didn’t react beyond ignoring Greene’s jibe, and Pia looked equally nonplussed by his accusation. “Don’t worry. I’m sure that moment will eventually come. It always does. Too bad you won’t be there to witness any of it.”
I loved her even more for calling Greene a coward. Not unexpectedly, Greene wasn’t fazed by that. “You know I’ll eventually hear every little juicy tidbit of it,” he told Pia—and turned to the captain of the ship. “I think we’re about to overstay our welcome. If you will bring our guests to the next station so they can disembark in peace, without having to negotiate free passage? We’ll hitch a ride back to the city.” He likely said that for Red and my benefit, because the captain didn’t seem surprised at all.
I wondered if I should say goodbye to anyone, but the soldiers were already turning back to their Humvee, leaving me standing there, feeling weirdly out of place. What few belongings I called my own were in the pack next to me, so no need to fetch anything. Greene I gladly ignored. That left me facing the people I would be staying with now—and, damn, that didn’t feel half as great as I had imagined it.
Chapter 14
“Guess you’re stuck with me, at least for a while,” I offered when things turned from awkward to painful. Martinez had the grace to wince, but while he still kept himself in the background, gone was his anger from before. He looked about as uncomfortable as I felt, making me want to give him a hug for that alone—but somehow, taking the first step didn’t feel right. The latent unease that crept up my spine and got acid churning in my stomach made me realize how strong my social anxiety had gotten in the meantime—spending the last two years virtually alone in the middle of nowhere could do a number on you, it turned out. I was almost glad Nate wasn’t here to see me—he’d have a field day with that realization. Then again, he wasn’t exactly Mr. Sociable most days himself, so seeing him squirm might just have been worth it—not that I had that option. And that set my unease into a very stark context.
It was impossible not to notice how a few of them kept staring at my fingers—probably because getting fidgety did a thing or two to draw further attention to them—so I decided I might as well take that out of the equation and started putting on the gloves again, which wasn’t much less of a spectacle but would put an end to the stares. When I looked up again, the crowd had started dissipating in earnest, the only people remaining were who I didn’t mind so much getting stared at by—plus Burns’s plus one, who still scrutinized me as if I’d tried to steal her lunch.
My gaze was inadvertently drawn to Sadie and her kid. I still couldn’t tell whether it was a boy or girl, the large, blue eyes and wheat-yellow hair not helping at all. The kid was fascinated with my hands, covered as they were now, but in a curious rather than scared way. At a little under two and a half years, that was likely no surprise, but not scaring the shit out of the little bugger was a bonus. Sadie was momentarily distracted by talking to two women who kept hovering close, but must have caught me watching. I felt a twinge of disappointment when she grabbed the kid and hoisted it up to her shoulder, but rather than turn away, she stepped toward me, briefly checking that the kid wasn’t scared.
“This is Chris,” she said, looking from the kid to me. “Well, Christine, but I doubt anyone’s ever going to use that except for me in full-on wrath-of-mom mode. Since she’ll never know her dad, I figured the least I could do was give her his name.”
Deep in my chest, I felt the familiar, painful twinge, but it was hard not to smile when the kid gurgled a laugh at me. I stopped fighting it as soon as I realized I was doing so. “Hey, Chris.” I addressed the girl herself, speaking softly. Glancing from her to Sadie, I couldn’t help but snort. “I know telling you
she looks just like him is what people do, but really, she’s an adorable little girl, she doesn’t look like anything else.”
Sadie flashed me a bright smile that reminded me of the girl she used to be, before life had forced a little more responsibility on her than she must have been bargaining for. “I know, right? It’s so weird, and I doubt I’ll ever get used to it. I mean, sure, there’s a very good reason why her dad was her dad, but leave this little cutie pie out of it.” The smile dropped away and she inhaled noisily, as if she was steeling herself for something.
I spoke up before she could. “I am really sorry we weren’t there for you. And I know I’m speaking for Nate, too, even if he may never say so in those exact words. As things turned out, I wouldn’t have been around either way. But for what it’s worth, it’s one of my biggest regrets.”
It was obvious that she was still struggling with letting go of what must have been years of festering anger in minutes, but her shaky exhale as she nodded in agreement as much as acceptance made me relax just a little. “Yeah, looks like you’ve added a few of those to your list. Regrets, I mean.” Her gaze had dropped to my hands briefly, but she did her best to keep a straight face. “Would have been nice if you’d have left a message, but…” She trailed off, looking over at where the Ice Queen and Andrej were still busy talking animatedly with each other. “Guess I can see why you didn’t.”
I shrugged, not sure what to say. “I figured someone would tell you. Then again, Nate would say your obvious disappointment with us was likely the best he could do to keep you safe.”
She chuckled briefly. “Yeah, it’s something he’d reason.” Her unease visibly flared up, almost making me laugh. “I know you’ll get him back,” she offered, unintentionally pulling her daughter closer. “If anything, he’s too stubborn not to hold out. He wouldn’t just die on you like that.” She had the grace to wince. I couldn’t help but ask myself if she was actually talking about Nate or thinking of Bates. Neither of them could have expected that when they left the bunker with us, they wouldn’t return.
Green Fields (Book 10): Uprising: Page 18