by Natalie Ann
She snorted. “So they can get the credit?”
Amazing. “Pretty much.”
“How can you stand that? It would drive me insane to know someone else was getting credit for my work.”
“I can’t stand it,” he admitted.
“But you stayed there. I guess once you get your partnership it will be different.”
Her voice was lower now. More distant than anything. “I won’t get it there.”
“Why?” she asked.
Was it the time to say it? Would she get mad and think that was why he came back? There was no easy or soft way to approach this. “I’m not related to Randall’s father. Blood relation.”
“That’s a joke,” she said, laughing.
“Yeah well. I didn’t know that myself until recently. Doesn’t matter.”
“And yet you’re staying there even though you won’t get what you want?” she asked.
“I have no intention of staying there, Dena. I’m there for the moment until I can figure the future out.”
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I told you I’m not leaving here without you, or I’m staying if it’s the only way I can have you. Until I know which it’s going to be and where I’m going to go, I’ll stick this job out because they are letting me do it this way. At some point, they aren’t going to and I’ll have to make a decision. That someday isn’t now though.”
“You really have no intention of staying there?” she asked.
“I can’t get what I want there. Being a partner would give me the freedom to try my own cases. To pick and choose. I was told it wasn’t going to happen, so why would I stay? It’s a stopping ground that pays well for the moment.”
“I feel like there’s pressure on me to decide for you and I don’t think that is fair.”
“No. Don’t think of it that way. That isn’t what this is about. I just wanted you to know I was going there next week and that I was coming back. I was afraid to even tell you about not getting the partnership.”
“Why?” she asked. “Did you think I’d think less of you?”
“No. I worried you’d think that it was the reason I came back here and it’s not.”
“I don’t know what to think. You said you came back because you realized you didn’t have what you wanted. You said that was me. But I do have to wonder if it’s the partnership.”
This was not what he wanted to happen, but since he started it, he had to address it.
“I’m not going to get the partnership there. I’m not going to get one here that I’m aware of. I’d have to start from scratch and I’m not sure I want that either. I don’t know what I want in terms of my career. Tonight is not the night to figure that out. What I want is you. If you’ll have me. If you’ll let me back in your life, then I’ll figure out my career from that decision. If you decide I messed up so bad and there is no chance of a future for us, I still have to figure out my career. It could be here until I win you over.”
She smiled at him. A slow one that had her lips twitching and then lifting. “You know the right things to say.”
“I don’t think I’ve always said the right things to you. It sure the hell doesn’t feel like it tonight. This dinner was meant for me to tell you I need to return for this trial for a few days, but I’ll be back. And I wanted to say it to your face so I could see your reaction and you could see mine. That is all this was supposed to be about.”
“Thank you for that,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because it’s important to me that we communicate better if we’ve got a chance to make this work. I didn’t need to tell you that though. You know it on your own.”
“I do. So the question is, are you going to miss me next week?”
“Probably not. I’m on call anyway starting Saturday.”
“You just got off of call on Friday. I thought it was every three weeks, but maybe I’m losing track of things.”
“It is and it isn’t. We try to rotate it that way, but what we really do is go around Cole’s schedule more than anything. Especially this time of year. He works two weeks of nights and two weeks of days. If he is on nights, we don’t let Rene be on call so she doesn’t have to worry about daycare in the middle of the night. She is almost always on call when Cole works days though. Sometimes weeks in a row to make up for Amber and me taking her shifts. It works out for us.”
“I’m glad you work for a place that cares so much. That cares about you as a person.”
“Me too.”
Right Decisions
Matt let himself into his Manhattan apartment Sunday night. He’d taken the last flight out that he could, not wanting to give up any more time than he had to with Dena this weekend. He wanted to be positive that she understood that he’d be back in a few days and he meant it.
She seemed fine with it all, making him wonder if he was more upset about it than her.
Not even the excitement of being in the courtroom again for this case could override the fear that he might have a setback with Dena.
Just another indication that he was making all the right decisions. That this wasn’t the place for him anymore, that it was more like a stopping ground, like he’d said to Dena about his job.
He walked around his apartment flipping on lights and looking things over, then realized he didn’t miss this place either. He had a nice view, but his tiny two-bedroom apartment that cost him a fortune held no appeal to him anymore.
Maybe it was time to ditch this place too. Even if he and Dena didn’t work out—not that he even wanted to consider that possibility—he wasn’t coming back here. He’d find another job and he’d find another place to live.
It was time to start fresh.
Maybe start over, but if he started over, then that might mean forgetting about all those memories of Dena and that wasn’t happening either.
Once he was in his office, he opened his safe and pulled out some documents, found the lease on his apartment and saw it was up in three months. A sign, or good timing?
He’d take it as a sign and reach out to the landlords that he wasn’t renewing. Where he was going to live in three months was up for debate, but for now he could still go month to month on the house he was in in Lake Placid.
Shutting the light, he went into his room, took a shower and then climbed into bed. Tomorrow would be here soon enough.
The next morning, he rolled over and saw it was barely six. Rather than jump up and get in the shower, then grab a coffee and some breakfast from any food he could find, he reached for his phone and sent a message to Dena. She’d be up, he knew.
She didn’t hesitate to respond back, tell him to have a great day, and she’d talk to him tonight.
He was looking forward to it more than he’d thought he would.
It’d taken just about all day to make jury selections and Matt realized now how much he disliked this part of it. Tina had come in for a short period and then left, leaving him in charge of it. Now he was wondering if that was part of the plan. Him being the lackey and all.
But when three o’clock rolled around and the selection was done, he was pleased with the outcome. If this were his case it was who he’d want. He was going to treat it as his because, damn it all, he knew he did most of the work on it.
He went back to his office quick to fill Tina in on everything, then he was going to grab a bite to eat and go back to his apartment and prepare for tomorrow.
“Have dinner with me,” Tina said when they were done talking.
“I’ve got some work to do,” he said back, “but thanks.”
“A working dinner, Matt. Not just the two of us. I should have clarified. Tracy and Mason have done a lot of work on this case too. I’d like to get us all in the same room before we start.”
“That works,” he said. It was common practice to do this the night before a trial started.
“I’ll have one of the secretaries get us some dinner and we can meet in
conference room six at five.”
“Sounds good,” he said, making his way back to his cubicle. He’d passed Tracy who was a junior attorney, and then another row down saw Mason with the staff attorneys. He was in the last row as a senior. Where he’d stay the rest of his life.
He looked around at a few of his colleagues that were in their forties—some in their fifties—and wondered why they stayed as long as they had.
“Matt,” Andy, a senior attorney who sat next to him said. Andy was about eight years older than him. “Good to see you. Are you back now?”
“No,” he said, not bothering to expand anymore. He’d tried to keep his personal life as private as he could here.
“Well, we’re glad to see you. You look good. The mountains must agree with you.”
He grinned. “They do.” He sat down, then looked around to see it was just the two of them for the most part. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Andy said, moving his chair closer.
“Why are you still here?”
“At the firm?” Andy asked, looking confused.
“Yeah. You’ll never make partner. Everyone knows you’ve got to be family. Why stay if this is as high as you can go?”
Andy laughed at him. “Matt. First off, not everyone wants to make partner. I sure the hell don’t. I don’t feel like shelling out that kind of money to buy my way in.”
“What?”
“Just because family are the only ones that can be a partner, they still have to pay to be a partner. They get huge cuts of each case, but it’s like buying a franchise.”
Matt knew that with other firms, but he honestly had no clue with it here. Kind of stupid on his part to not know that. Was that part of it? That they didn’t think he could afford it? Some firms had buy-ins at over five times his salary.
“Okay, I can understand that. So that’s your only reason?”
“Aside from the money, partnership isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and it’s not for everyone. I’ve got a family and kids. I make good money here as a senior, as you damn well know. Your problem is, you’ve got your eye on picking what you want and we can’t always do that. We get good cases and we’re handed some fabulous payouts when it’s done.”
“The partners get a cut and don’t do the work,” he said.
“That’s part of life. Just like the partners do the hard work in the courtroom on the big cases and we get a cut for doing the less stressful part of it. If they lose, it’s on them and their name and reputation, not on ours behind the scenes.”
Andy was right with that. He forgot that though he didn’t get to claim the glory, he didn’t have to acknowledge defeat either.
“Thanks,” Matt said, turning back to his desk.
“What’s this about?” Andy asked. “You’re young and have a long career ahead of you. It’s only up for you here if you want it.”
Matt just nodded his head. There was no use saying what Randall had told him. It wasn’t worth it. Everyone knew Matt and Randall were stepbrothers and Matt was glad to know that he wasn’t the only one that assumed that meant he’d have a shot at his partnership.
When five rolled around, he made his way to the conference room and sat down to get to work. He’d have to say he did miss this part. That working alone was great, and he’d never been one that needed to be around people, but he missed dishing about the law.
He missed talking about possibilities and what to do if something came up. To make sure everyone was prepared.
When it was all done, he was told by Tina, “It’s you in court with me tomorrow. Randall said you’re here until Wednesday night, so I’ve got two days in court with you. Hopefully we can get what we need in that time.”
It was close to eight by the time he let himself back into his apartment. The first thing he did was call Dena. “I was getting worried,” she said when she picked up. “I thought maybe you got lost.”
She was laughing and he took that as a good sign. “No. A long day. I didn’t get out of the courthouse until after two, then just left the office. I’d planned on getting some dinner and working home tonight, but there was a team meeting with dinner to prep for tomorrow.”
“Do you miss it?”
He heard the question, but not the fear. “More than I thought. Not being in the building or working late. But talking law and preparing for the case. I guess I miss the courtroom more than I thought even though I really hate doing jury selections.”
“I’ve got to imagine that is no fun. At least from the person sitting there all day praying they aren’t selected.”
“I get it. But it’s our civic duty too.”
“Don’t be lecturing me on that. I’ve been able to get out of my civic duty the last two times I was called.”
“Really? How is that?”
“The first time my numbers weren’t selected and I was thrilled. The second time I knew the defendant so I was dismissed.”
“In a small area like that, it has to happen often I’m sure,” he said. Here, you were just more worried about how much they’d heard on the news than knowing people personally.
“Most likely. So you think you’ll have a long day tomorrow?” she asked.
“Probably. Even when we get out of court we’ll go back to the office and talk.”
“So you’re in court until Thursday?” she asked.
“No. Wednesday. I made an appointment with my doctor on Thursday since I was here.”
“Everything okay?” she asked quickly. “You never say much. Are you having issues that you haven’t told me?”
“No issues. I figured I was here, I would see if they could move my appointment up so I don’t have to come back next month. Just a follow-up.”
“Oh,” she said. “That’s good.”
They said a few more words to each other and he hung up knowing that he was worrying about nothing.
Paid More Attention
Two days later Dena was at work and on her way to her office for lunch when Ava paged her to come up front.
She detoured that way to see Penny McKay standing there. She had no idea what Matt’s mother was doing in Max’s office.
“Hi, Penny.”
“Dena. I’m so sorry to bother you. I took a gamble this was your lunch hour since I ran into you before around this time.”
“It is. Is something wrong with Matt?” If her heart was racing she wouldn’t let it show.
“No. Not that I’m aware of. I haven’t talked to him since he left. Have you?”
“Yes,” she said. “We’ve been talking each night.”
Penny smiled. “If you’ve got time, can I treat you to a quick lunch? I’d like to talk to you a bit in private.”
“Sure,” Dena said. “Let me get my coat.”
She was trying to figure out what this could be about, but wouldn’t know unless she went. The last time she and Penny talked in private it was Dena bawling on her shoulder and asking what she’d done wrong for Matt to push her away.
Penny had no answers for her then any more than Dena had herself. To this day, she’d never know what made Matt do it. She’d asked, and he just was giving broad answers.
Maybe there was no specific reason or an isolated one, but Dena just wished she’d known.
When she came back out, Penny said, “If you don’t mind, my car is still running and is nice and warm. We can go to a deli quick and get some sandwiches since I know you need to get back to work.”
“That’s fine,” Dena said.
There was silence in the short drive and even when they were ordering. Dena wasn’t sure what was going on, but until Penny started to talk, she wasn’t going to. No use guessing at this point.
Once they were seated in a booth, Penny started with, “I just want to apologize to you.”
“For what?” Dena asked.
“Maybe I should have paid more attention to things years ago. Maybe I would have seen what was going on with Matt.”
“What
was going on with him?” Dena asked.
“I don’t really know. It had to be something though. I’m still to this day as shocked as you that he broke things off. He wouldn’t talk to me at all about it.”
At least that made Dena feel a bit better, that she wasn’t the only one who never saw this coming. “It’s not your fault.”
“Matt and Bob never got along well. Matt wasn’t even close to his father. When Bob got the transfer offer here, we just felt it was the best move to make.”
“For Matt or for you?”
“For everyone. Matt’s father and Colleen had a new life and it was difficult for me to see or hear about it all the time. It was like it was being rubbed in my face that he was doing things for her or with her that he’d never do that I had wanted. We didn’t live in the same city, but close enough. Looking back, I let things bother me about that situation more than I should have.”
“What situation?” Dena asked. This was the first she’d ever heard anything about Matt’s father or childhood.
“I was jealous that Ken found Colleen so fast. That she had so much more and he went from what we had to what he does now.”
“He has more money now, right?” Dena asked. She knew all about Colleen getting a large settlement from Randall’s father. How the firm that Matt worked for was worth more than she could ever begin to guess.
“Yeah. Colleen’s ex was a cheating lying SOB and she raked him over the coals. Ken and I just didn’t always see eye to eye. And it ticked me off when he started to be the father and husband to Colleen and her kids that he never was with me or Matt.
That made more sense. “But you started dating Bob. Matt said you guys get along so well.”
“That’s because I’m Bob’s first wife. I think he felt he’d never find someone and when he found me, he catered to me. I loved it. I do love it still. But Matt didn’t need another father figure that late in life and that is when the two of them butted heads so much. I’d complain to Bob about Matt’s attitude at times. He was just being a typical kid, but it was still wrong of me.”