“Are you not someone who goes to church?”
“No, I am. Well, I mean I was, I went with Mama and Daddy growin’ up. I just stopped when I moved out to California and just . . . well, just never got back into goin’.”
While the pastor smiled, James leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. An odd smirk spread through his face. “Maybe you should think about it then.”
“We’d be more than happy to have you,” Pastor Dawson added.
Without thinkin’ I snorted then slapped my hand across my mouth and cleared my throat. “Sorry. I don’t know why I laughed.”
Helen had tried to talk me into goin’ a few times over the course of my time in Shadow Brook. But I thought it best not to so I said no each time. Not because I didn’t care for church or believe in God. I just didn’t think it was a place for me. I’d sinned so much in my life and was convinced I’d burn up in flames the moment my foot touched the inside of the church floor.
I cleared my throat, droppin’ my voice to a whisper. “I’ll think about it.”
“I really hope you do.”
“It might even be something you will find you enjoy.” James picked up his glass of water, sipping the last of it as he gave me a wink.
I wanted to ignore the fact his words made sense. Why, I didn’t know, perhaps because they were his words and not my own. Shouldn’t it be me tellin’ myself to go back to church and I would enjoy it? I couldn’t deny the thought had crossed my mind every time Helen asked, but the thought of takin’ the first step always cloaked me in hesitation and I allowed the coward side of my mind to convince me I shouldn’t go.
Perhaps, though, he was right.
Perhaps, it was the one thing missin’ in my life.
I took the men’s plates, headin’ back into the kitchen while they continued in conversation.
“Has everyone cleared out for the afternoon?” Helen asked as I entered the kitchen.
“Yeah. Just James and Pastor Dawson are still here.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“I don’t know how on earth you did this by yourself,” I said, settin’ the plates in the sink. I grabbed a glass of water and chugged it while she laughed at me.
“Most people are understanding when they know it’s just me. Besides, I usually have more food prepped so putting the plates together is easier. Sometimes I also tell them I have a couple of specials which tend to draw attention and then I’m only making one dish in particular instead of everything on the lunch menu.”
I chugged several more gulps and pointed at her. “Sneaky.”
“You learn a thing or two when you’ve been doing it for as long as I have.” She pushed off the counter and patted my shoulder. “We will prep more for dinner, so you won’t have to work so hard.”
“I forgot about dinner.” I cradled my forehead in my palm with the thought of another couple of hours of running around in circles tryin’ to cater to everyone in the room—bring them water, bring them straws, bring them extra napkins, bring them their food, clear their plates when they are done. It was an endless web of work I both looked forward to and dreaded at the same time.
Helen giggled. “You’ll get the hang of it. I know you will.”
As she made her way to the door, I called after her. “Helen?”
“Yes?” She paused, glancing over her shoulder at me.
“Does the offer to go to church with ya still stand?”
“Of course.”
“I think I’d like to go next Sunday.”
EIGHT
Nestled off main street and up on a hill, the small white church stuck out from the green of the trees. With a tall steeple and green shutters, it was like any chapel I imagined for a small town. A quaint house of God, with only a few rooms, it even had a beautiful gazebo out front decorated with several vines of ivy growing around the beams.
“I hope the clothes I bought us are good enough,” I said, noticin’ all the dresses the women and little girls were wearin’.
“They are perfect,” Helen reassured. “And you shouldn’t even be concerned about it. I told you Pastor Dawson doesn’t mind what people wear as long as you show up.” She chuckled under her breath. Although meant as a joke to lighten my mood, it didn’t help much.
My heart pounded as I climbed out of the car and reached in the back seat for Rachel who clung to me as she glanced around at everythin’ and everyone.
“Shh, you’re okay. You’re fine,” I whispered, pattin’ her on the back. Always curious with strangers, I still didn’t know how she would take a crowd, and the last thing I needed was a cryin’ child right now.
It was embarrassment enough being the new girl. I don’t think I could handle being the new girl with a screamin’ toddler.
I followed Helen up through the grassy yard and through the front doors of the church. People moved in all directions around the foyer, smilin’ at one another while they greeted each other. The different salutations of ‘good mornin’ and ‘how are you’, echoed throughout the walls, and it was hard to decipher if any were uttered in my direction or not.
I smiled at everyone anyway, hopin’ the gesture would not only ease the butterflies flutterin’ something fierce in my stomach, but also the looks of curiosity meetin’ me around every turn. The question of my identity was written all over their faces.
Stickin’ close to Helen, I merely nodded my way through the crowd, holdin’ Rachel close to my chest so no one would bump into her.
“Helen? Maggie?” a familiar, male voice called out.
We both turned to see James weavin’ his way through toward us.
“You came,” he said as he finally reached us, a little out of breath. Used to seein’ him in casual blue jeans and t-shirts, his dark grey suit caught my eye.
He sure cleans up nice.
“Yeah, I came,” I said, tryin’ to distract myself.
“I was hoping you would.” He glanced over his shoulder then motioned us to follow him. “Everyone was just about to go inside the auditorium to take their seats. You can come sit with me if you like.”
“You go,” Helen said to me. She laid her hand on my shoulder. “I always sit with Claire and Andy.”
I followed him through the doors into the main chapel. Just as quaint as it was on the outside, the wooden pews smelled of old cedar as though built hundreds of years ago even if they didn’t look it. With plain white walls, there were green curtains hanging from each of the windows and the sunlight shined in, brightenin’ the entire room. A chorus of several men and women hummed and sang up front as we made our way to the seats, their fancy robes swung as they moved side to side with the beat.
A peaceful calm swept through me, relaxin’ me through the shoulders and down through my back, and I inhaled a deep breath, lettin’ it out slow as James motioned me into one of the pews. I slid down the small aisle toward a brunette sittin’ with a little boy in her lap, and as her attention fell upon me, a broad smile spread across her round face.
“You must be Maggie,” she said, extendin’ her hand. “I’m Rebecca Dawson, John’s wife.” She pointed toward Pastor Dawson standing near the front as he welcomed people into the chapel. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I sat down, settin’ Rachel in my lap. Her head spun around and she stared at the boy sittin’ with Rebecca.
“This is Luke,” Rebecca said, her eyes sparkled at the mention of her son.
“Rachel.”
The two babies stared at one another for a moment before Luke reached out and touched Rachel’s arm. She glanced down at his hand then returned his gaze and smiled. Her eyes closin’ slightly with her big grin.
“She’s adorable,” Rebecca said.
As I opened my mouth to thank her, Pastor Dawson held up his hands. “Let’s all stand and sing with one another,” he said.
I glanced at Rebecca, mouthin’ my gratitude instead and she nodded, brushin’ her hand on the ba
ck of my shoulder, a silent gesture she understood.
After a few songs, Pastor Dawson made his way back up to the front, and the attention of the room settled down as he began his sermon. Each word of his message of faith and love and honesty hit me like a punch to the gut. Nothin’ like hearin’ someone say somethin’ that brings ya to your knees in shame, and yet lifts ya up in hope.
Misery can cause one so much heartache. It deadens the feelin’s inside, even the deep ones, leavin’ ya a shell of the person ya once was. A pain so great, it consumes your life and drowns out any sunshine, leavin’ ya in a room of darkness with no way to break free. For some of us, the sorrow can prove too much, but for others, if they desire to, they can find hope.
I wanted to find hope.
I wanted to find the faith again.
Of course, I’d grown up with such treasures, and I had grown up with the lessons as a little girl to have love for Jesus and myself. Somewhere along the lines, though, it slipped away from me. Buried deep down in the back under the past year of my life, I’d forgotten what church was like and forgotten what it meant to me.
I didn’t want to forget again.
Throughout the sermon tears welled in my eyes several times, and I blinked them away, hopin’ no one noticed. While I had done so much in my life I wasn’t proud of and made so many mistakes, with those came a beautiful daughter and a life I loved. Sure a lot changed and there were things I could never undo, however, I still had so much to look forward to. I just needed to remember it.
“Thank you, everyone. You are dismissed.”
With Pastor Dawson’s last words, everyone stood and began filin’ out of the pews and back out into the lobby. Couples paired off in groups, chattin’ with one another while their kids ran around and played. While everyone else made their way toward the parkin’ lot, the sunlight would shine inside every time someone opened the door.
“Beautiful message today,” Helen said, heavin’ a sigh as we stepped out onto the lawn. She reached out for Rachel and took her into her arms. “Did you enjoy it, Maggie?”
“I did. Very much.”
“We sure are glad you came,” Rebecca said. Several inches shorter than me, she looked up at me while I looked down at her. “It was really nice meeting you. John and James have told me so much about you, I was hoping to get the chance one of these days.”
“We would have made it happen one of these days,” James said. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets and glanced over his shoulder to give a nod to someone walkin’ by.
“And, who knows when that would have been. Men, making plans. But I also think we need to get these two together.” She nodded toward her son and then at Rachel. “I think they would enjoy playing with one another.”
“I think they would too.”
She set Luke down on the grass and he meandered around us, bendin’ down to grab at the blades. Helen set Rachel next to him, and although she couldn’t walk yet, she crawled after him, watchin’ him pick grass and laughin’ as he dropped the pieces and they floated back down to the ground.
As the adults were followin’ along with their adventure, Jerry from the gas station walked up. His grey suit looked about a size too small and his tie was crooked. Not one for such an outfit, the cute way he dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief and his white hair blew in the breeze made me smile. Endearin’ as all get out, his eyes sparkled as they landed on Helen.
“Afternoon,” he said. Although he meant his greetin’ for all of us, his gaze focused on Helen, never leavin’ her.
“Good afternoon, Jerry,” she said.
“I came over to see if you wanted to go get some lunch with me this afternoon.” He shifted his weight to one side and then the other, a slight bounce to his step as though anxious for an answer.
Helen glanced at me while I glanced at him then he then gave her a wink.
She smiled. “I think that would be lovely, Jerry,” she finally said to him.
Jerry exhaled a deep breath as he turned his shoulder toward her and lifted his arm for her to take. She let out a slight giggle as she hooked her arm in his and as she passed me, she handed me the car keys.
“You’ll be all right by yourself?” she asked.
“Of course. Yes. Go. Have fun.”
James clicked his tongue as they strolled away, and as our eyes met, he smiled and nodded as if to say ‘finally’.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said to him.
“Are you still trying to get them together?” Rebecca asked him as she waved her hand toward the older couple.
“I’m not doing anything of the sort. It’s all on Jerry.”
While they made their way down to the car, they stopped to chat with Nancy’s parents, and catchin’ sight of me, Nancy waved and trotted up to us. Reachin’ the top of the lawn, she panted and bent over for a second to catch her breath.
“I . . . I was going to call you this afternoon with the good news.
“What good news?
“I did it! I finally did it,” she said, a slight squeal to her words. “I think I’ve found the perfect house to rent.” She jumped up and down for a moment then stopped and grabbed my hands. “There is just one slight problem.”
“What is that?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know if I can afford the rent on my own. I saved up enough money for a deposit and first months rent, but my wages at the flower shop can’t cover the entire rent plus utilities and all the other bills like groceries and such.”
“Maybe ya could find another house? One that isn’t as much a month to rent.”
“Or,” she cocked her head to the side, “I could find a roommate.”
“I suppose that too. Do ya know of another girl lookin’ to rent?”
A smile spread across her face and she arched on eyebrow.
“Wait a minute. Ya aren’t thinkin’ I would be that girl, are ya?”
“Well, why not? We could split everything, cutting the cost down.”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on, you can’t stay at the inn forever. Helen is going to need her room for guests.”
I glanced down toward Helen still chattin’ with Nancy’s parents. While Nancy’s words made sense, the thought of movin’ into my own place brought an itch of fear creepin’ up my neck. What if somethin’ happened? What if I couldn’t afford it?
“At least come with me to look at the house. Then maybe you can decide?”
I bit my lip for a moment. “Sure. Just let me know when.”
“Nancy, time to go,” Claire called out.
“Coming, Mother.” Nancy arched her gaze toward the sky, droppin’ her voice to a whisper. “I swear it’s like I’m still twelve. I’ll give you a call about the date and time, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
As Nancy bounced back toward her parents, I waved at Claire—who didn’t wave back. Instead she merely glanced in my direction, before spinnin’ on her heel and leadin’ her husband and daughter down the lawn toward their car.
“We should be going too. John should be done by now and I need to get this guy home for his nap.” Rebecca bent down, scoopin’ Luke up in her arms. “I’ll be in touch with you, Maggie, about brining him over to play. Maybe we could have lunch one afternoon, too, if Helen can spare you.”
“Sure.”
With her friend leavin’, Rachel glanced up and let out a cry. Reachin’ out for the little boy, she latched on to one of James’s legs instead. Her grip tight on his pants as she pulled herself up to stand. I moved to grab her but stopped as James bent down and wrapped his hands around her waist, pickin’ her up.
My mouth gaped open and takin’ notice to me, he froze.
“Did I do something?” he asked.
“Ya picked her up.”
“Was I not supposed to?”
“No, that’s not what . . . I just . . . ya just picked her up.”
“I do know my way around children.”
“Of course
, ya do. It’s just . . . she hasn’t been held by a man since . . .”
“Since her father?”
“Her gran’daddy. His father. I visited them before I headed out for my parents . . . and then got side tracked north and ended up here.” I laughed, hopin’ to mask my lack of comfort in the conversation.
Rachel yawned and laid her head on his shoulder as she melted into his chest.
“I guess I just didn’t expect her to be so comfortable,” I said.
“And, I will take that as a compliment.” He chuckled then adjusted her in his arms. “We should get her down to the car so you can get her back to the inn.” Before I could agree or disagree, he made his way down to Helen’s car with me followin’ behind him.
NINE
A few days later, I headed over to Nancy’s to go with her to look at the house for rent. I still hadn’t decided if I wanted to move in with her, and yet, I knew I couldn’t stay at the inn forever. Of course, Helen didn’t care either way, it wasn’t like I wasn’t payin’ for the room. But still an inn certainly wasn’t a place to raise Rachel, much less live for the rest of my life.
My knuckles rapped against her parents’ front door. I checked again for a doorbell but didn’t see one, and I rocked back and forth from my toes to my heels countin’ down how many seconds I should wait before I knocked again.
Before I lifted my hand a second time, however, I heard a pair of heeled shoes clickin’ against the floor just on the other side of the door.
“Who is it?” a voice asked.
“It’s Maggie. I’m here to see Nancy.”
The lock clicked and the door opened. “Hello, Maggie.” Although Nancy’s mom smiled, a hint of displeasure lingered in the lines of her lips and around her eyes.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Anderson.”
“Nancy is just getting her shoes on. She should be ready in just a few minutes.”
“Great.”
We both stood, one of us on either side of the door. Me, out of obligation to wait for my friend and her, well, I actually didn’t know why she remained standin’ with me. It certainly wasn’t to invite me inside or to make small talk.
Another Yesterday Page 8