I shoot Noah a glare and subtly shake my head, warning him off, letting him know she’s with me.
Lucie awkwardly clears her throat. “I could use a drink right now. Did you get that round in, Theo?” she asks as she looks at my empty hands.
I shake my head and drag my attention back to her. “I didn’t have time. I only got here a minute or so before you did.”
The muscle in her jaw twitches again.
Behind her, someone bustles through the crowd, pushing horny guys out of the way who have converged, trying to get a better look at Lucie’s arse. (I must admit, I want to see her from behind too.) It’s Amy’s nanna. Her eyes are wide and fixed on Lucie as she stops at her side and obviously looks her up and down, wrinkly lips pursed in consideration.
When she’s finished her examination, she clicks her tongue. “Well, I’m glad I decided last minute not to wear my Wonder Woman outfit; that would have been embarrassing if we’d both worn the same thing.” She shoots Lucie a wink, and it breaks the hard, bleak look in her eye.
Lucie erupts into laughter, and I feel my muscles loosen slightly.
Peggy loops her arm through Lucie’s. “Don’t you dare even think about changing. You look marvellous! Jeez, if I had a body like yours, I’d be walking around in spandex all day, every day.”
A blush covers Lucie’s cheeks, and somehow, it makes her look even better.
“Thank you, Peggy. Can I keep you? Hire you to follow me around and shower me with praise all day?” Lucie jokes, shifting on her feet.
Amy nods in agreement. “Oh, please say you’re not changing. Please leave them on. You guys both look amazing! I love them! Please?” She beams a smile over at me, and I can see the happiness twinkle in her eyes as she looks back at Lucie hopefully.
I don’t want Lucie to change either. I want her to wear this outfit for the rest of her life and never leave my side.
Lucie cringes, but when Amy begs her some more, she finally nods in agreement.
I step closer, looking into Lucie’s eyes. I don’t reach out and touch her like I’m desperate to; she’s liable to break my fingers or something. “Luce, I’m so sorry. I messed up. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“Really?”
Her mouth is saying fine, but her eyes are saying, Die in a fiery wreck …
“Sure. It’s fine; don’t worry.” She waves a dismissive hand. “I’m going to get that drink. Are you staying here, or do you want to come with me?” One of her eyebrows rises in question. She sets a hand on her hip, the movement making her skirt rise half an inch.
I still can’t really think straight. She looks so hot; it’s like the outfit has melted my brain.
I blink dumbly. “Um …”
She laughs quietly, and the sound makes my body relax a fraction. Maybe I’m not going to die tonight after all. “It’s not a trick question, Theo. You can do whatever you want.”
Behind her, Jared’s eyes widen, and his back stiffens. He shakes his head and is mouthing something at me. I frown and give an imperceptible tilt of the head to let him know I don’t understand.
He mouths it again. It looks like … Tits a slap?
What? Is he high? Slap her tits? Like that’s not going to inflame the already-volatile situation.
Lucie raises her chin and turns to walk off, thankfully rendering my reply unnecessary because I have no clue what’s happening right now. She’s muttering something in Italian under her breath. My eyes drop down to her arse, and I grunt in appreciation. The damn thing sways from side to side like a pendulum as she walks away, the short skirt swishing around it teasingly. It’s exquisite.
As soon as Lucie is out of earshot, Jared steps to my side and grips my elbow, squeezing tightly. “Oh Jesus, you gotta fix this quick. She’s seething mad.” He almost looks afraid now too.
I shake off his hold because his fingers are digging in too tight. My eyes are still glued to Lucie. “She said it was fine.”
Jared makes a scoff in the back of his throat and shakes his head. “Word to the wise: the words it’s fine or don’t worry coming out of a woman’s mouth should terrify you to the very core. She said both of those. And the whole do what you want thing? You do not ever do what you want. That’s a trap.”
Oh, trap, not slap! That’s what he was mouthing. It’s a trap. That makes more sense.
Tim nods and steps to my other side. “Get over there and grovel, or she’ll be using your nutsack for a handbag before the night is over.”
Jared winces. “You know I speak Italian. You don’t even want to know the translation of what she said as she walked off. Let’s just say, it has something to do with your arse and a cactus.” He laughs and shoves me towards her so hard that I almost stumble.
As I stop at her side next to the bar, she doesn’t even turn to look at me as she speaks, “I can’t believe this. I really can’t believe I’m standing in a bar, surrounded by people glammed up in cocktail dresses, and I’m wearing a Wonder Woman outfit that’s two sizes too small. Why does this crap always happen to me? Honestly, I’m almost not even shocked.” Her shoulders slump, and she covers her face with her hands.
I lean against the bar next to her. “Stuff like this happens to me too. I usually just roll with it.” I wince, feeling awful. “I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot. I didn’t do this on purpose, I promise.”
“I know you didn’t.” She huffs a breath and turns to face me, her eyes raking down my body, and I notice the tiny twitch to the corners of her mouth. “At least you actually look pretty good,” she says grudgingly.
I raise one eyebrow. “You look better than pretty good.” That’s the truth. “You look amazing. I’m almost not even sorry I misunderstood the dress code. Seeing you in this is so worth the castration you’re liable to do to me because of this. You look phenomenal.”
She chews on her lip, her eyes meeting mine, and I want to do a celebratory jig when I see the hardness beginning to fade from them. She forgives me a little. “Yeah?”
I nod and step closer—as close as the Yoshi head sticking out a foot and a half in front of me will allow. “Definitely. Your costume is sick; your body is killer. You’re positively lethal tonight, Luce.”
She rolls her eyes, but a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth now. “Keep the compliments coming,” she tells me, and as the barman stops in front of her, his eyes firmly fixed on the swell of cleavage spilling over the top of her sweetheart neckline, she holds up two fingers and tells him, “And keep the vodka shots coming. Two, please.”
I chuckle and lean in closer, so no one else can hear me. “Thank heavens I’m not wearing spandex, too, because my approval of your outfit would be clear for all to see.” I motion down to Yoshi. “His head is full of wood.”
She bursts out laughing and slaps my chest with her hand, but it’s playful and not vicious, so I take it as encouragement and keep going.
“Luce, you look like something out of my Comic Con fantasies. I’m literally—” I make the mind-blown hands next to my head with an explosion sound effect.
Her eyelashes flutter closed as she chews on her lip, a blush blooming on her cheeks. “You’re kind of good for my ego.”
Feeling brave, I reach out and touch the material of her skirt; it’s soft satin between my fingers. A groan escapes my lips. “This is the stuff wet dreams are made of.”
Lucie laughs and rolls her eyes, picking up one of the shots as the barman sets it down in front of her. She turns back to me and purses her lips. “Okay, rules. You do not leave my side the whole night. If I’m staying in costume, so are you. And let’s get absolutely rat-arsed to mollify this embarrassment.”
I nod in approval and signal the barman for two more shots as I pick up mine. “Solid plan. Here’s to a good night. Cheers.” I chink my glass against hers, and we grin before knocking them back.
thirteen
Lucie
As I slowly drift into consciousness, the first thing I notice is the fe
rocious pounding in my head. It’s like someone is savagely jackhammering the inside of my skull. I wince and reach up, raking a hand over my face. As I move, a wave of nausea makes my stomach roll. My mouth is so dry, my tongue feels like sandpaper. And … what the hell have I been eating? Or is that the flavour of morning-after vodka regret? It tastes like a sewer. I feel like death warmed up. Positively awful.
Rhythmic, heavy breathing from my right draws my attention, and I turn my head, confronted by Theo’s gorgeous face. He’s lying on his front, arms bent and tucked under his head, face all peaceful and childlike. He looks adorable while he sleeps.
“Aww, cute.” I get the weird urge to reach out and jokingly boop the tip of his nose with my finger. I smile to myself and let my eyes rake over his features, drinking him in.
Wait … what the …
I gasp as I realise this isn’t right.
Theo is in my room … in my bed?
I sit up quickly, clutching the thin sheets in my fists. I move so fast, another wave of nausea squeezes my stomach. I fight the urge to vomit. It’s then that I catch sight of my bare breasts.
Oh God, am I …
Closing my eyes, I count to five and hope I’m still dreaming this. But when I open them and carefully lift the sheets to peek underneath, I know I’m not dreaming.
I’m naked. Butt naked, apart from the fact that I’m still wearing the knee-high red plastic Wonder Woman boots from last night.
Embarrassed heat floods my face, and I glance back over at Theo. He’s still sleeping peacefully. Around his neck, a flash of gold material catches my attention. I lean in closer for a better look and realise it’s my Wonder Woman elasticated crown; it sits around his neck like a gaudy necklace. There’s more gold at his wrists; he’s wearing the gold bracelet cuffs from my costume too.
What is happening?
I gulp, and my eyes trace across his naked back, noticing flawless skin encasing muscles; he’s broad, tanned, perfect. My eyes rake further down, following the line of his spine right down to where the sheets bunch at the small of his back.
I have to know. Is he naked too? I carefully lift the sheets—and there’s his butt.
My eyes widen. It’s a damn cute butt, all firm and tight. You could bounce a penny off the thing; it’s so toned. He must squat.
Wait, this is no time for distractions, Lucie.
I’m beginning to freak out. I can feel the panic and mortification taking over. We’re both naked. That means …
But no, wouldn’t I remember if we had sex?
As I press my knees together, the skin at the inside of my thighs rubs and burns. Frowning, I lift the sheet again and look down. My face flushes when I see red chaffing on the insides of my thighs. Dear Lord. I know instantly what it’s from. Moving my leg to the side to get a better look, I spot something black and furry on my skin. My brain instantly fires the word spider at me. Squealing, I slap at it blindly. Two seconds later, after it sticks itself to my finger, I realise what it is … Theo’s Mario moustache.
My fraught squealing and thrashing wakes Theo.
He groans loudly and rolls to his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Ugh, I’m never drinking again!” he moans. “I feel like a microwaved turd.”
I gulp and decide to confront this head-on. We don’t have much choice in the matter. “Theo, did we … Theo!” I shake his shoulder to get his attention, as it appears he’s already drifted off again.
He licks his lips and finally moves his arm, turning his head to face me with a sullen grunt. He squints and blinks a couple of times, as if he has no idea who I am, and then a smile of recognition tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Hey.” He sits up awkwardly, holding his head, letting out a long, pain-filled groan. “Am I naked?” He lifts the sheet, and I get an eyeful of sculpted chest, and—oh my God, he has a semi. An impressive semi too.
I hate the flush of excitement that pulses through me.
I nod and wince. “I’m naked too. Apart from my boots.”
He chuckles and rubs his eyes with his fists. “Kinky.”
“I think we might have done it.” I shift my body, and as soon as I do, I know for a fact that we screwed last night. I can feel the slight ache between my legs when I move. It’s been a while; I’m definitely out of practice, and I can feel the difference.
“Did we?” Theo winces as he speaks, rubbing at his temples. “Ugh, I need to pee. I’ll be right back.”
He swings his legs out of bed, and I see a glimpse of glorious arse crack as he manoeuvres and reaches for the tartan throw from the bottom of the bed, wrapping it around his waist like a kilt as he stands up.
“Eww! What the hell?” Suddenly, he comically hops on one leg, grimacing as he reaches down and peels something from the bottom of his foot. “Well, I guess that answers that question.” He looks back at me helplessly as he holds up what he stood on.
A used condom.
Oh God. I gulp. “At least we were safe.” That’s more than I dared to hope for. Lucky one of us had the forethought to use protection.
He peers at it. “Looks like I got my happy ending. Not sure about you though.”
I close my eyes and feel my face flush. “I have beard burn on the insides of my thighs. I’m pretty sure I got mine too.”
“Oh, nice.” He laughs and reaches over, holding up his hand for a high five.
I raise one eyebrow. “Now is not a high-five moment, Theo.”
He nods, his hand dropping to his side, though his grin is broad, and he’s obviously proud of himself. “You’re right; that would be totally inappropriate.” His eyes move to the Wonder Woman wristbands he’s wearing, and he reaches for the crown that’s tight around his neck like a choker. “What the hell happened? Do you remember anything at all?” He pulls off the crown and frowns at it, and then he tosses it onto the sideboard.
I shake my head, racking my brain. I think back to the last thing I remember: the party, the drinking, there was dancing and singing and stumbling and lots of laughing.
“Shit, I gotta pee so bad.” He darts around the corner and goes into the bathroom.
The sound of a steady stream of urine hitting the water permeates the air, as he’s not bothered to close the door. I’m too hungover to care.
“Jeez, it’s a mess in here. Whatever we did, we definitely had some fun in here. Either that or you’re the messiest chick alive!” he calls from the bathroom.
Mortified, I quickly climb from the bed and grab the fluffy hotel robe from the hook on the wall, shrugging it on and tying the belt at the waist so he doesn’t see me naked. Which is ridiculous, considering, apparently, we’ve already been intimate, and I have his stubble rash on my cooch.
My head gives another throb, so I push my glasses on and then dig in my toiletries bag to find the sweetest treasure a hungover person can be confronted with—paracetamol. Snagging a bottle of water from the fridge, I gulp down half and swallow two pills before setting another bottle and two more pills on the side for Theo.
“Your phone was on the side in there. It’s dead. I’ll stick it on charge for you,” he says as he comes back into the room and walks around the bed to the bedside cabinet, where my charger is. He picks it up and plugs it in for me before heading back to the dresser and flicking on the kettle.
“Thanks. Water and tablets on there for you.” I nod at it.
He smiles gratefully. “Sweet. Ta.”
I slump onto the edge of the bed and frown down at my boots. I barely have the energy to attempt it, but my feet are sweating in the plastic, so they need to come off. As I grip the foot of one and pull, Theo chugs his water and pills. I growl in frustration and try the other foot. The damn things are welded on. I might have to call down to reception and ask for them to send up some scissors to cut them off.
Theo chuckles and walks over, dropping to his knees in front of me. He’s still wrapped in just the throw, so his sculpted chest is on full display. My fingers itch to reach out and touch it.
“Let me have a go.” He takes hold of my calf and lifts one leg.
When his fingers curl around the back of my knee, I get another flashback—this one of his hands caressing my skin, our bodies pressing together, the weight of him on top of me, his eyes meeting mine as his breath blows across my face.
I blink and have to look away. It’s so intimate and hot that it makes my body ache. I can’t remember much, but I can sort of remember what those lips feel like against mine, what his teeth feel like scraping against my skin. An involuntary shiver of lust tickles down my spine as he finally works one boot loose and then starts on the other.
“There you go, miss.” He smiles up at me as the second boot slides off my foot. It’s a cute smile, not a smirk or a gloat because we did the nasty last night.
“Thanks.” I smile back weakly and then flop back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to breathe through my nausea.
The shots last night were a mistake. The sex was also a mistake, though because I can’t remember it, I can’t bring myself to feel too bad about it.
Theo makes us coffee while I lie there and watch the muscles in his back and shoulders contract and expand whenever he moves. It’s hot. The smell of coffee just adds to said hotness.
Stand-In Saturday: (A standalone romcom. Book 2 in the Love For Days series) Page 12