Sighing deeply, his breath blowing across my shoulder, he pulls back and smiles down at me. “I don’t like seeing you upset. He’s not worth you being upset over, Luce.” His hands cup my jaw, and he wipes more tears away as they glide down my cheeks. “He’s an absolute bellend. And a dumb shit for letting you slip through his fingers. He doesn’t deserve your tears, Luce. I hate that you’re still in love with him.”
His forehead creases with a frown. There’s something blazing in his eyes, a passion that is half-mad, half-sad. I can’t work it out.
“You … you have options. You know that, right?” He gulps, gently pushing my hair away from my face. “You could move on if you wanted to, Luce. You could forget him. You could move forward and be happy with a man who would appreciate how amazing you were, someone who would know how lucky he was if he got to call you his.”
He dips his head and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering there. It’s so sweet that my eyes drop closed, and I grip his waist, not letting him move away.
“I-I like you, Lucie. I’m crazy about you actually.” He says the words against my forehead, and my eyes fly open as I wonder if I heard him right.
He’s crazy about me? Me?!
Theo pulls back a fraction, the tip of his nose brushing mine. “I missed you so much this week. It’s the silly things I missed most. Like how you snort when you laugh really hard, or how your nose wrinkles when you’re trying to decide something, or how you twiddle your hair around your finger when you’re reading your book, or how witty you are. You make me laugh like no girl I’ve ever met.”
His eyes burn into mine. I can’t look away; I can barely breathe.
“I think you’re perfect, Luciella Gordio.”
His thumb strokes across my cheek, leaving a burning trail in its wake. A tiny whimper slips from my mouth at his sweet words. No one has ever said that to me before.
He licks his lips and continues, “Every part of you is perfect. From your big green eyes to your sassy, sugar-obsessed mouth, right down to your bum that drives me wild. I like everything about you. I think us meeting in that lift meant something. And I know you’re still hurting over that dickhead and that you brought me here to make him jealous, but … Luce, I don’t just want to be a stand-in for Lucas. I want to be your leading man. I want to be the one who causes you to smile down at your phone when my name pops up on your screen. I want to be the one who kisses you good night, the one who makes you happy, the one you can’t live without.”
What is happening? My shock makes my skin break out in goose bumps. This is the last thing I expected to come out of Theo’s mouth. He likes Amy. He’s smitten with his brother’s new wife; he told me so himself.
“But … you like Amy,” I whisper, my mind reeling, his words on repeat.
“You’re perfect. Every part of you is perfect.”
My heart squeezes in my chest.
“No.” He firmly shakes his head. “I just thought I did. In the beginning, I’ll admit that, yes, I wanted to date her. I thought I was in love with her. Seeing her with my brother made me jealous as hell. I like Amy, she’s epic, and I thought I was jealous of them because I wanted her for myself. But last weekend, at the wedding with you, I realised I wasn’t even upset that they were getting married. When I watched her walk down the aisle to marry Jared, I realised it wasn’t actually her I was jealous of. It was their relationship. Their easy, fun, and loving relationship. They’re soul mates, and I realised that’s what I was jealous of. That my twin has found it and I haven’t.
“I know now that it was never Amy I wanted. I just wanted someone epic like Amy. Someone I can be myself with and who accepts and likes everything about me. Someone who makes me so happy that I smile, even when I’m just thinking about them. Someone I can’t get enough of. I think that might be you, Luce. Since I met you, you’ve kinda consumed me. You’re amazing and smart and funny and brave and beautiful. You’ve dazzled me, and I’m hooked. I’m crazy about you, and I wish you weren’t still hung up on a guy who didn’t treat you right. I wish there were none of this baggage and that you were available. But I need you to know that you have options. If you wanted to give it a go with me, I’m here for all of it.”
I blink, so shocked that I can barely process his words. Where did this all come from? My brain isn’t working right. I can’t take it in.
He wants to be with me?
I’ve never even considered dating Theo. We were merely strangers who became acquaintances and then friends, all while fulfilling a role for each other. And, yes, that turned into mind-blowing sex, but that’s all it was supposed to be, just two adults seeking pleasure in each other for a few days. It wasn’t supposed to be anything more. We weren’t supposed to catch feelings.
I don’t know what to say. All I wanted from tonight was for Lucas to get jealous and to feel a small iota of the pain that I felt when I walked in on him with that girl, that I’ve still felt every day since. And maybe, though I’ve never admitted this to anyone, I secretly wanted him to fall at my feet and beg me for another chance so passionately that I’d have no choice but to take him back. Because I loved him so much when we were together that I almost don’t even know who I am without him now.
But here is a wonderful, hot, adorable guy standing in front of me, telling me he’s crazy about me and that I have options.
What do I do with that? My brain is reeling.
This thing with Theo was never supposed to happen. I thought he liked Amy, so I didn’t even allow myself to daydream how it would be, being with him properly, after last weekend ended. Now that I know he likes me, my head is spinning like a top, and I don’t even know what I want.
He’s terrific, but I’m still in love with Lucas … aren’t I? Eight years I was with him. Yes, he hurt me and ripped my heart out, but you can’t just turn feelings like that off—though I wish I could. I’m so confused that I can barely think straight.
Theo is watching me, waiting for me to speak. I don’t even think he’s breathing. Swallowing awkwardly, I try to formulate words, but they’re just gone.
Thankfully, high-pitched tings cut through the air, the sounds of someone tapping a knife on the side of a glass, and seconds later, my mother sticks her head out of the patio door, and her eyes land on me.
“Oh, there you are! Come, Luciella. Papà is about to make a speech.” She expectantly holds out her hand to me.
Oh, thank goodness. Precious few minutes’ reprieve where I can work out what I want to say!
I nod at her dumbly, and Theo steps back, letting his arms drop from my waist as he forces a polite smile and turns to my mother.
Still in a daze, I walk away from him, my heart in my throat.
The speeches are relatively short. I stand at the front, next to Mamma, who beams with pride as my father thanks everyone for coming and talks about his grand plans for a lazy future. After, a few people step up and say lovely things about my dad and funny stories about what it was like to work with him over the years. I don’t dare look at Theo or Lucas. I clap and toast and sip champagne along with everyone, trying to pretend like I don’t feel as if I’d been put through a wringer.
After the cake is carried out and my dad has made a big show of blowing out the candles and grinning like a loon, it’s over, and instead of going back to Theo, who is chatting with one of my father’s managing directors I introduced him to earlier, I point over my shoulder and mouth the word, Bathroom, at him.
He nods in understanding, and I slink away through the crowd, trying to clear my mind. My thoughts flick from Theo to Lucas and back again. I’m still none the wiser.
As I wander up the deserted hallway towards the bathroom, I’m so lost in my own head that I don’t hear Lucas approach until his hand closes around my wrist.
“We need to talk,” he states, and he pulls me into one of the spare bedrooms, closing the door behind him.
twenty-two
Lucie
“Lucie, we need to work this
out. I hate being without you. I miss you so much. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you, sweetheart.”
I’m standing in the middle of the room, my mouth agape, staring at him, trying to take it all in. Lucas never apologises for anything, and right now, he’s almost grovelling. My insides clench, and I wring my hands, unable to look away from his pleading, hurt expression.
This is everything I’ve wanted from him for the last three months—him to say he’s sorry and that he doesn’t want to be without me. This is what I wished for when I cried myself to sleep for weeks after we split.
He steps forward, reaching out and taking my hands in his. I let him because I’m too shocked to protest.
“I was stupid. I should never have cheated. I don’t know what I was thinking. It must have been a moment of insanity or maybe the strain of work. You know I was stressed over that Apollo account all that week; maybe the pressure got to me, and I had a psychotic break or something. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. It was only a one-time thing, just a mistake. I’m not with that girl. I haven’t even seen her since that night.” He shakes his head, his expression imploring as his thumbs stroke the backs of my hands.
“Did you stop going to the gym then, or did you have to find another? Bet that was a shock to the system, having to fill out your own membership paperwork for once. Is that why you want me back?” I don’t know where the dig comes from. My brain still isn’t engaged, so it must have just been bitterness dripping from my tongue automatically.
Lucas can’t do anything for himself. I took care of everything for him. I single-handedly ran his office and did most of his job for him. A little bit of menial paperwork to fill out is below his pay grade.
Lucas’s eye twitches at the disrespect, but he lets it slide. I’m never normally this bold with him. Usually, I let him steamroll me into things.
“I want you back because I love you,” he replies. “Lucie, give me a chance to make it up to you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I wish I hadn’t done it. I miss you. You’re the one for me; you always have been. Please come home, sweetheart. It’s awful, being without you.”
He pulls me towards him, raising my arms and guiding them around his neck, and then his hands gently stroke my face, my neck, my shoulders. My eyes flutter closed, and my heart aches in my chest. Dipping his head, he plants soft, persuasive kisses at the corner of my mouth, peppering them across my cheek as his arms wrap around me, his embrace cloaking me in such familiarity that it’s almost like sinking into a warm bath after a long and weary day.
I gulp, and emotion swells inside me. All my adult life, all I’ve ever wanted is to be loved by this man, and here he is, showering me with affection, telling me his life is awful without me.
With his arms still around me, he walks me backwards until I’m pressed against the wall. He crowds in, every part of his body touching mine, smothering me with affection until he’s all I can think about.
His aftershave fills my senses. I recognise it immediately—Creed Aventus. He’s always worn it; it’s so Lucas that I could pick him out of a line-up with my eyes closed. This is the same expensive aftershave he would spray on me before we went out to meet his friends, so everyone would know I was taken. I used to love the smell. I used to revel in the knowledge that Lucas was so low-key obsessed and possessive of me that he felt the need to mark me with his scent, so he could keep me to himself.
But now …
A shiver tickles down my spine, and my eyes pop open. A cold sensation spreads across my insides, but I don’t know why.
He pulls back, his hands cupping my face as he stares down at me. “I love you, and you love me.” It’s not a question; it’s said with the confidence he’s always had.
As he leans in, his nose traces up the side of mine, and his breath blows across my mouth, making my lips part as I suck in a ragged breath. My head is fuzzy, my mind all over the place. I don’t even know what I’m doing right now. I’m kind of lost.
As his mouth slowly heads towards mine, my eyes flick down to his lips, and my heart thumps wildly against my ribcage. When his lips finally close over mine, I whimper, and my arms tighten around his neck as I automatically kiss him back.
The kiss is nice. The way his mouth moves against mine is achingly familiar … but I realise it’s not giving me the feels I get when Theo’s lips are on mine. Kissing Lucas used to be as natural as breathing, but … it feels wrong now. His kisses don’t make my heart sing or my body vibrate with excitement. As Lucas’s hands wrap around my hips and he trails kisses down my neck, there are no tummy butterflies or sighs in happiness, no burning need to press so close to him that we meld into one … like there is with Theo.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Now that my mind is on Theo, I can’t get it off.
I think about his beautiful smile and his laugh that makes my skin prickle with pleasure. I think about the little line he gets between his eyebrows when he’s sketching, his love for his niece and nephew, how his hugs feel, how he’s always subtly making sure I’m okay, supporting me and propping me up, and the hilarious things he comes out with. Being with Theo is something like I’ve never experienced with a guy before. He makes me feel so at ease in my own skin that I can fully let my guard down for once and let him glimpse the real me, the girl I had to temper down and all but push into a lockbox because I didn’t suit Lucas’s version of ideal. With Theo, I don’t feel the need to hide myself or change for him. He just likes me the way I am. I’ve never had that.
As Lucas’s mouth finds mine again and he kisses me urgently, nipping at my bottom lip, attempting to deepen the kiss, I realise … it’s not him I want. It’s Theo.
And just like that, my mind snaps back to the present.
I clamp my mouth shut and turn my head, moving my hands to Lucas’s shoulders, pushing him away from me. “Stop it.” My voice is a breathless whisper.
He doesn’t take the hint. He crowds back into me, his thumb tracing across my bottom lip, his eyes boring into mine. “So, you got stuck in a lift with that prick, huh? I saw it on Twitter—that’s how you met. And you went to Scotland with him last weekend?” His eyes narrow in accusation as he pins me with his hard stare.
I frown, confused by his change in direction and by his question itself. How did he know I went to Scotland?
I’m about to ask, but he cuts me off.
He sighs, a knowing smile twitching at the corner of his lips. “Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing, Lucie?” His voice is calculated and controlled. “Bringing in some guy to try and make me jealous. Going away with him. Parading around in this dress that you know I hate. Are you that desperate to get my attention?” His fingers close around my upper arms, and he pulls me tight against his body, inclining his head to growl directly into my ear, “Well, you’ve got it, sweetheart. Is that what you wanted when you put on this whore dress and high-heeled shoes? You wanted me to take one look at you and fuck you against the wall again like a dirty little slut?”
Before I can react to his words, he spins me around, pushing me face-first against the wall so fast that the air whooshes out of my lungs in one big burst. Instantly, he presses in against my back, pinning me there with his body. Against my backside, I can feel how hard he is already as his hands slowly slide down my body, spanning over my hips.
A cold shiver tickles down my spine.
No. This doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong, my brain is screaming at me, but I don’t move.
My chest is tight. I can’t draw in a breath. A memory or sensation prickles in the back of my mind. This sensation, this fright, I’ve felt this before …
I shake my head, my words caught in my throat.
“No?” he whispers. His breath blowing across my ear makes me shudder.
“No.”
Suddenly, he spins me back around to face him. I lose my balance in my high shoes, and a small pain tears across my ankle. I slam back against the wall, letting out a whimper. Lucas instantly cages me in,
his arms on either side of me as he leans in, trapping me there. His hard ice-blue eyes are inches from mine. They’re cold and unflinching. He’s furious about the dress. A few months ago, I would have cringed away under the heat of his gaze, but now, I force myself to look him full-on in the eyes.
“I can wear what I want. We’re not together.” I raise my chin confidently; unfortunately, my voice comes out as a pitiful croak, so it loses all its authority.
Lucas’s mouth crashes against mine so hard that my head bumps the wall and my lips mash against my teeth. It’s an angry kiss. I can almost taste his fury. I can also taste blood … and that’s familiar too.
This is wrong. I don’t want this.
Forcing my arms up between our bodies, I shove him a couple of feet away from me and forcefully shake my head. “Stop it! You don’t get to just decide we’re back together. You cheated on me. You can’t just kiss me and make everything okay again!”
“Lucie, sweetheart, let me make it up to you. I already said I’m sorry. What else do you want me to do?” His voice is suddenly soft and loving. His bottom lip juts out in a pout as his eyes meet mine.
His sudden one-eighty turn has me instantly on edge. I should be used to this, his mood swings and him twisting and turning like this to keep me off guard, but I’m not.
We’re both breathing heavily as we stare at each other in silence. My mind is still whirling, but it finally settles on something that’s niggling away at me.
“How did you know I was in Scotland?” I cock my head and look at him quizzically.
“What?”
“Scotland. How did you know I was there last weekend with Theo?” I didn’t tell anyone. The only ones who knew were Aubrey and Theo’s family.
His jaw tightens. “I saw it on Instagram. You, dressed like a hooker, acting ridiculous with him.” He practically growls the word him as he jerks his thumb over his shoulder towards the door. “The location was tagged as some hotel in Scotland.”
I frown. Something is clawing at me, a thought in the back of my mind, just out of reach. “But … but how did you see that? I didn’t repost it. You can’t see it on my account. I was just tagged.”
Stand-In Saturday: (A standalone romcom. Book 2 in the Love For Days series) Page 22