by Tony Duvert
put your sandal back on
I don’t have any tow-hel it was there on the floor somewhere filthy if only I could see
I’ll get you another he leaves me alone I hide in that dark nook I remember behind the shower stalls footsteps clattering along the cement he’s called Simon I remember him now he’d already talked to me once before because he talks to us little ones he even takes walks with one of them in the garden that rose garden up there at the top of the hill
take off your shirt you’re soaked clean through wait let me dry you off first I also got you another shirt since this one is all torn
thanks yes no I can dry-hy myself how-ho hold are you-hoo?
thirteen you’ll see it’s not so bad here once you’ve found a buddy where do you come from?
somewhere dow-hown that big hi-highway they fou-hound me and bro-hought me here by fo-horce
just like me then they don’t understand anything that bunch of loudmouth asshole jokers we can take a stroll now if you’d like there’s a river you know a fine river and cows and pine cones and it all belongs to them here they’re very rich you know we crossed the garden and afterward climbed the hill to some park or maybe a woods we walked so very far finally choosing a nice grassy spot under tall trees he stretched himself out and I sat down alongside while he talked about guys’ cocks and other stuff like that and I gathered fallen acorns getting bored finally but we had to stay together so that when we both went back this evening I there was a wind coming up and it got very cold Simon said I’m going back to fetch us both some sweaters wait here huh
I waited for him the night came down too fast and I was still there in those woods he must have forgotten all about me I couldn’t remember the way back I started shaking all over the trees were so black the bushes black too I didn’t dare move
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I jerk myself off like the guy asked me one hand right up against my short hairs so that a big chunk of cock sticks out above my fist whacking off like that without touching the head’s no fun at all underneath that gray overcoat his suit is gray too gray shirt black tie the hair on his head sparse gray his skull gets very red as he watches me go to town he was less bald than me all the time standing at a distance fixing his floodlights tsk tsk sounds coming out now and again pursed impatient lips Spread your legs a trifle wider
it’s taking too fucking long shit man you said one hour
I said nothing of the sort I said one roll of film an hour’s more than enough when the model’s not such a clod when the essential parts were being handed out by your maker you must have been out to lunch I’m not referring to your cock of course
a guy manages with whatever he’s been given I’m fed up to here with your crazy fucking lights there wasn’t any film in that goddamn camera I’m sure of it the images he clicks are all stored up in his head I served for him like some nightmare with his money he could easily have bought some handsome rough-trade type instead he picked a bum they’re what obviously give him his kicks when I take off my clothes most people take off at least turn the other way noses as well as eyes a long time now since they’ve been too embarrassed to let me see that tough meat like mine you don’t at least lose anything by getting old apart from your teeth falling out maybe and all the hair on your head going as well
don’t you have a little something you can offer a man to drink?
you can drink later with the money I’m paying you there’s no time for that now
if you think it’s easy for me to get a hard-on when it’s like some fucking morgue in here buddy he didn’t answer opening a closet door taking out a strip of brightly colored canvas what a weird-looking painting if you ask me and climbing up on a chair thumbtacked it to the wall looked like the background in some silly cartoon part of a forest Bambi or maybe Snow White
now lie down there flush up against it no over here
you’re a real weirdo you know that
yes stay exactly there yes look up at those birds in the trees don’t let go of your prick damn it
Bambi yet that’s all I need shit man I’m hitting the road yon can fork over my dough right now
I haven’t finished I’m going to take some shots of you tied up so lie down again what he did in fact had nothing to do with ropes he piled a heap of bricks on top of my belly thighs chest making a big show of photographing me rearranging all those fucking bricks every other second finally they formed a square wall around my whopper giant sequoia standing up straight and stiff red gnarled trunk bulging veins in the middle of some bricked-in courtyard he photographed it from very close then looking down zooming in from above I would have split a gut laughing I tell you except that those shit-ass bricks felt so heavy me sweating all over gamy stink armpits crotch unwashed cock it made me feel like a real asshole lying there naked I don’t ever take my clothes off anymore not since a long time the horrors outside me are more than enough to bear these days a real screwball asshole this one I’d never seen him before I’ll never see him again one hundred francs though something to keep me from pushing up the daisies for still another five six days What do you do for a living you got a wife kids maybe?
I’m a managing director and a bachelor and you’re much too curious
I like to know who I’m fucking around with I might not have a pot to piss in buddy but at least I don’t go around asking guys to drop their pants for me you manage direct what?
other managing directors he says with a nasty little grin thin as a thread the only time I ever saw him smile
then if I smashed your fucking face in there’d be nobody who’d ever know not for days anyway
I don’t give a damn about dying and I’ll wager it’s the same way with you too
I still give a fuck about living still like packing it in grub yeah and all the rest too
what rest? getting drunk? fucking? you mean to tell me some people still want to fuck guys like you?
I can still jerk myself off enjoy it too no worse than in fact a hell of a lot better than what I’m he took the bricks off my belly chest thighs and put them back in the closet very carefully I could make out a sack of cement a trowel a toilet bowl Me when I was a kid I had toy blocks but mine were made out of wood yellow green real putrid colors I learned how to read from those fucking bricks what’s more I could recite the entire alphabet by the time I was two I could have been somebody he shrugged Those bricks are there because I’m going to wall up the window one of these days there’s a fat bitch across the way always behind her curtains peering rotten cunts all of them once they’re no longer able to turn a trick themselves all they can think of is spying on others You don’t like cunts much do you for a managing director Who said I was a managing director? are you completely off your rocker or what? he left for a moment delicate tinkle along the side of the bowl chain being yanked sounds of water flushing I asked where the john was then pissed out a whole beer glass myself frothy foam noisy I like to advertise myself whenever I piss Sounds worse than a cow they must have heard you down below in the street he heaved a sigh, lie down on your stomach hurry it up now stick this in
what? up my asshole? oh no
just the end of it come on I’m not paying you for nothing
oh hell might as well huh then my ass won’t ever be able to say it kept me from earning my grub so far it’s been good only for shitting and anyway what those turds see in there they won’t ever tell so empty whiskey bottle a few drops remaining that burned me I remember that now and the smell of alcohol and shit all mixed up with sweat I didn’t stick it all the way in not so much as the neck even mustn’t exaggerate but I groaned moaned like I was shoving it all the way up imitated sounds I’d heard others make I can be a real whore if only somebody’d only give me the chance all at once he moves a chair toward me and takes another candid shot I can tell his camera isn’t loaded since he shoves another roll in without taking out the one s
upposedly already inside so he won’t be taking any snappy shots my groovy young punk’s mug that’s what turns him on I can’t get over it he’s really flipping out now but I’m getting used to it I’m a handsome young dude that’s what but the older cunts still won’t ogle you not when you’re only my age not even the timid virgins damn it he appreciated me at least seemed like he wanted to count all the pores in my skin all the hairs in my beard from the way he kept staring through that lens of his at first I act real polite keep on my mask all pretty poutings and batting eyelashes I’ve got it down perfect you learn those things when you’re still a baby and after that begins to bore the piss out of me I let all the heavy poses drop he breathed so heavily almost like snoring clenched both hands around the apparatus pressed flat against his chest a big reflex job with twin lens costing thousands probably his eyes moved back and forth cruising me cock to face and back down to cock again not scared now but furious precise evil gritting his teeth he would have scratched the skin off my face crushed the family jewels thrown acid in my eyes if he could
calm down granddad you’re going to give yourself a heart attack so take your little candid shots huh and don’t get your bowels in an uproar granddad the way you look right now you must have sucked off a platoon of storm troopers for breakfast to give yourself all that manly spunk
dumb punk lie back down and whack off shoot your whole wad onto your face I want to see that thick cream come spurt clot he was beside himself his voice hoarse now words coming in spasms
wait a minute we never agreed to that I don’t shoot my load for one hundred smackers that’s a costly extra see and don’t you expect me to shoot it up all over my face either there are limits to what I’ll agree to do you old tub of lard
you little cretin do what I tell you hurry it up or I’ll slap you silly
you’re green with envy isn’t that it pops you’d like all that thick cream on your own ugly puss why does it give you such jollies my spunk is it because you can’t shoot off your own wad anymore huh? then watch closely daddy-o don’t waste one single drop sniff it lap it up with a spoon if that’s your scene pops it’s finest choice high-class come I whacked off insulting him more and more while I went at it because he got on my nerves with all his heavy breathing and his talk making it harder for me to shoot I told him to go take a flying fuck isolating myself from everything around me shutting it all off inside my head and then yes I suddenly shoot shoot shoot it’s over quickly exploding every which way I even do get a few drops on my own face the old bastard is in seventh heaven now doesn’t even pretend about being a photographer anymore goes all limp sweats a tubful of putrid piss trembles shakes all over to look at him you’d think I’d beaten him to a pulp face going all empty and pale
well now you still can’t get yourself off huh pops? not even after watching that performance? pathetic old queer you’d be better off if you got a gun and stuck it down your throat and pulled the trigger he doesn’t even answer staggers across the room face so filled with nausea I’m scared he’ll upchuck all over me but luckily he reaches the door a few minutes later coat collar now unbuttoned he returns horrible smell of lavender lotion forehead all wet hands me a hundred-franc bill crisp new one I feel its crispness newness just for kicks then hand it back ask for the dough in coins then receiving them hit the road it’s all too weird a scene for me I’d already read stuff like that closet queens living two lives now I know it’s true this one’s even got a real closet
nice to be out on the street again these limpid June evenings when everything turns green blue beautiful I hunt around for some tiny park some square with a garden where I can take a nice long nap on the grass with the moon high up above me can’t recognize this part of town we got here I remember in his old jalopy it’s not at all beautiful but a tangle of narrow streets shadowy gray grimy factories mills half collapsing sooty glass roofs like opalescent boils and some railway tracks going I’ve no idea where and as for summer’s greenness not even one fucking blade of grass to be seen oh hell oh well might be able to sniff out some whore some fat floozy who’ll do it for a few francs can’t be worth much hanging around down here
roaming along a street that runs parallel to a deep canal stinking of gasoline of turds of animal carcasses they must drop their dying dogs into this glop all that slow flowing ooze greenish phosphorescent reddish pus spurting from rotting pipes a huge pyramid of coarse gravel directly behind some barbed wire fence easy to pass through searchlights like in some prison movie looking down from tall steel pylons and there not far from the pyramid two or three young punks they get up when I come closer Go sack out someplace else kids this here’s no restroom
hey man you wouldn’t have a spare franc on you would you?
not one fucking sou if you want dough you have to go out and earn it didn’t anybody teach you that yet?
aw man don’t give us a hard time it’s for him over there he’s sick
you think I’d fall for that trick I wasn’t born yesterday now scram all of you good luck good-by and good riddance
hey wait a minute huh you old shit-ass
you fucking punks at your age I still respected my elders is that the kind of manners they teach you in school these days?
oh shit man cool it huh we know a chick a real hot cunt we could take you to her she’s got tits out to here and a nice big round ass that’s so hot sparks fly out
talking about tits and ass at your age wipe the snot from your nose you snot-nosed squirts could it be your idiot sister you’re trying to fix me up with maybe?
no honest man a real fine broad I swear we all have a share in her and if we br
yeah yeah sure and then I go there with you and her big brother’s hiding behind a door ready to jump me I know all those tricks pulled them myself before you were even born but wait a minute the little one who’s he? standing there away from the other two ugly yeah but delicate at least real tender
hey tell that little snatch over there not to be so shy to come out further into the light yeah that’s better now here’s my proposition if you let me ram it up little girlie here’s ass I’ll give you ten francs to split between you
they all look at one another and the delicate one listens while the other two keep whispering into his ears he snorts loudly they insist I can hear yes but no but then they turn to face me as one
it’s not enough money says the filthiest looking a real swarthy type with eyes not quite aligned
hey I’m not bargaining girlie over there should take whatever he can get he’s not all that pretty you know does he think there’s a bouquet of roses sprouting out of his asshole or what?
it’s not enough repeats the mean-eyed punk and besides it hurts him taking it up the ass so come on and agree mister huh mister
clear off you and let me talk to your other friend here how about you then? that’d be ten francs just for you alone
no we have to split it between us and not with me anyway because I can’t I’m not kidding I’ve already got hem
fuck you then I’ve no idea what’s becoming of the younger generation you hardly know how to wipe your ass after shitting and yet you already know how to haggle over prices peddling your filthy asses as if they contained the crown jewels up them selling your shitty holes like tired old cunts wait a minute yes you my little nelly darling for ten francs I’ll let you give me a blow job how’s that girlie? look kid come closer take a gander at my lovely big fat cock look at that juicy red head doesn’t that lollipop make you drool just looking at it how’d you like to get your lips around that all-day sucker and make ten francs besides? he shakes his head mouth turning down eyes leaving my swollen sex staring at something behind me backing off grabbing the others by the sleeve and suddenly they all split behind the barbed wire
a blue automobile luxury model american chrome and all slowly cruises I make it fast back up to the sidewalk headlights dimming finally pulls up alongside me I’m still zipping up my fly standing so tight-assed now even a fart
would have trouble escaping some man in the back seat a real gentleman from the look of it rolls down his window voice very cultured and polite
were there any children down there with you a moment ago?
it all depends what do you want them for?
I know they often sleep around here where did they run off to just now?
I’ll hand them over to you all three kids for two hundred and fifty smackers but as I’m saying that
there’s this guy sitting behind the steering wheel who’s giving me the once over with cold squinty eyes all right mister I was only kidding yes you can find them down there I point with my thumb and all at once both men in the front seat leap out of the car leap down the embankment the kids hardly put up any fight they let themselves be dragged up alongside the automobile the man in back sticks his head out the window again examines the punks like some sentimental grandad It’s only this one I’m interested in he murmurs pointing to the little girlie let his comrades go men and give them some money for their pains
hey how about me don’t I get something too for pointing out where they were?
and to this kind gentleman also he adds as the men hand out small change to the oldest kids girlie doesn’t seem at all anxious or frightened he stares at the big blue automobile waits quietly beside the back door accepting the smiles of the old man inside and all at once the two burly bruisers leap come down on me like a ton of fucking bricks I was flat on the sidewalk before I even knew what happened stunned bleeding more than half-dead I wonder where they banged me the hardest for I can no longer move any part of my body my head still feels screwed on but none of the rest of me seems to work anymore someone finds his way into that stinking reeking dung heap this part of the city seems mostly composed of a canal opens up over there some man lying head propped up against the steep embankment I bend down over him he’s either asleep or out cold moth-eaten blanket covers him rivulet of blood trickling from beneath the blanket to the gutter the dying man has an open bluish face body stiff immobile except for that shimmering vermilion reptile that escapes from beneath the blanket the man comes to sits up asks for something to drink I draw back startled I’d thought him harmless as are all the other cats haunting these blind alleys pussy cats bellies pendant with unborn kittens hungry for caresses cats so ghostlike that when they slide between my legs they make me jump for not having seen them before I kneel down now trousers suddenly soaked in blood neither hot nor cold I hesitate touching this cadaver a shadow moves out from a doorway seeking shelter under some adjacent portico huddling there lifeless the stranger is definitely dead down there canal claims another victim and farther away these peaceful quiet houses with their huge gardens in back before you reached open country a little boy half-naked sits on a reddish brown wicker lawn chair his hand with its delicate little fingers curled calmly around his prick aiming it straight up into the air or else letting it hang there all by itself a deep cut mars the fleshy part of his thumb but the blood which spurts shimmering crimson along the entire length of his hand down to his wrist somehow never quite reaches that cock plump pink creamy organ so free and merry resembling some young scamp’s impish cheek scrubbed all nice and rosy for a Sunday in springtime playing house with dolly tea parties sweet sugary drinks that send bubbles up your nose sipped under tall green trees and afterward long walks shadowed over with foliage translucid childish games under the soft sunlight of May