by Tony Duvert
the worst is when they laugh and I laugh too and then they say Oh look at him he’s laughing who gave you permission to laugh? and then they slap my cheeks my face in the dorm in the dining hall in the toilets in the garden everywhere and one evening sick of it I don’t return I run off into the woods finally come out upon a big highway somebody finds me I’m put in a prison somewhere or else somebody picks me up
to disappear truly disappear they brought me here in a truck one of the guys likes me a lot and defends me I’m a cute kid and quite proud and as strong as any of those others they choose as their scapegoat a tiny frightened kid I tease him too invent new methods of torture clever dirty things I explain them to all the others who applaud telling me how brilliant I am and as soon as I’m twelve I’ll be one of their leaders I did have one final moment of panic though when the director came in with two boys who’ve been entrusted with protecting me because I’m a newcomer they’re quite shy ask me to go into the toilets with them to see if mine is as long as theirs
the big one is named Simon Claude Robert those are fine-sounding names back in the village they have names like Anselm Mathurin Ernest Desire Nanard Innocent Gustave Anatole Firmin Gaston or Lulu ugh and I’m called Claude Bob Simon
she explains to me that I’ll get used to it once I do it and that boy over there will be the one who and I don’t repeat what she says to him but he knew it already we all do it to ourselves among ourselves except he gets very pissed off with me if I laugh during and I can’t help laughing because sometimes it tickles me so much
at last engulfed waves crashing over me I feel their force their wet weight their obstinacy I trust in them as in the stones which cover me or more swollen than a belly parturient with a sphere of multiple births each my own the translucid form of this oblivion I forget nothing I am here them only them now I probe his pubis finding his hairs rough gritty to the touch he thrashes against my belly with clumsy movements he’s in a great hurry for me to flip over onto my belly he’s about to utter the one word that excites him most
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those from the village attacked last night and several trees ended up burned the intruders drew skulls and crossbones everywhere with black paint or tar they also wrote filthy words on all our walls
if night falls upon the cluster of oak trees gusts of cold air pass rapidly through the thick leaves and the boy who’s lost so much blood remains lashed to a tree trunk naked he has fainted under the icy winds of evening
light shining behind refectory windows diamond panes leaded stained as in a church echoes of laughter announce the evening meal we ate at seven-thirty the boys coming back from the swimming pool down by the river around seven flicking at each other’s asses towels still spongy with water they had already put back on some of their clothes and given maybe a couple of quick strokes of a comb through their moist hair widely spaced teeth tracing parallel wakes in that sea of too short curls whitecaps blackcaps blondcaps growing static standing up straight the more the wind dried them intractable once again they returned to the chateau by a path that coursed through underbrush in places corduroyed logs spanning the marshy ground ascending the steep slope separating the great meadow from the farthest reaches of their private park they march in groups of three or four bullshitting about what they’ve done and a few among them dart from one group to another snapping towels faces forms hands legs which the river has turned icy all possess now a somber pallor lambency of twilight reflected in monochrome grisaille upon features softened by fatigue and hunger giving to voices a special hollow sound the boys finally arrive at the terrace of box trees directly behind the chateau looking down over already dark forests open meadows and the black twisting thread of river its free flow obstructed in one place by a rectangle lost in shadow the swimming pool not far from which three gesticulating dots furnish the only color or relief from the encroaching night those three dots suddenly crossing the huge open meadow then disappearing children’s voices reassembling falling in one by one each voice losing its distinctiveness as it becomes part of a general murmur within the ancient edifice its scarred stone façade that looks down upon the valley studded with high towers crenels tall windows like slits each separated by heavy mullions of stone
it is five past six when Claude finally manages to get over to the swimming pool he’s the last one in the water and in a bad mood so much so the littlest kids don’t dare splash him Claude treads water idly without any enjoyment finally gets out gets dressed pushing away Yann who tried to show him something he trudges off through the spongy grass leaps over a tiny brook set off on each side by a clump of rushes he’s reached the playing field but does not even deign to pick up the football that comes crashing up against his shins he does not acknowledge any of the shouts but pushes forward head down body swallowed up in shadow beneath the oaks stumbling along a footpath more often than not hidden from view by thick underbrush he scales an abrupt slope and approaches the dark deep wood where it is nearly night already suddenly hearing a rustle of leaves behind him spins around Yann standing there
I don’t want you here so fuck off you want to know something you bore the piss out of me you and all those other assholes out there why do you come hightailing it after my ass all the time?
Yann stands now no more than two steps away he stares into Claude’s eyes arms dangling down loosely head held very erect
well? are you deaf or something asshole? I said fuck off
let me come with you are you going over to the cabin?
yeah I’m going there but you’re not
was he here this afternoon? Yann asks Claude doesn’t answer
what did he do to you? Claude begins his march once more the other child following him lagging ten or so feet behind but always on tiptoe as if he respected a sick friend’s need for quiet they reach the esplanade of oak trees after which begins the true forest very soon they should be able to make out Serge still tied to his tree head and feet they’ll set him free
sex scraped red with abrasions they examine each laceration carefully and with one spit-moistened forefinger Yann dabs away the dried blood his foreskin so slashed pains Serge they carry the poor child still naked back up to the chateau a difficult trip but the two of them manage it somebody there will put alcohol some soothing salve upon it covering it completely with a bandage they will certainly also sponge away all that blood that has trickled down from the anus down between his legs all the way to his ankles red stripes Yann who’s the same size as Serge lends him some of his clothes Claude should avenge the child but he doesn’t give a fuck Yann realizes they’re all his whores nothing more little snotnosed brats who suck his juice and offer him their spread cheeks some of these somewhat shitty others quite spanking clean Claude staring at Serge coldly It’s your own fault you shouldn’t have come into our private park so now I won’t be able to see you anymore and Yann standing there silently observes all this the little fiancee suddenly spurned so calmly so irrevocably Yann feels something in his own chest grow tight Serge for his part appears still too stunned to understand it all he keeps repeating But I’ve got to get back home and he remains seated on that little white infirmary stool without even buttoning up his trousers
Yann goes down to the dining hall he grabs a whole bar of baking chocolate then offers it to all the guys sitting around one of the tables they crunch on the bitter black squares while awaiting the first course soup followed by cold cuts they drink water and beer or wine but wine diluted each of them having his own two carafes one for water the other for wine or beer on each side of his plate Yann attacks his soup wriggling his buttocks all the while leaning over to the right to the left to joke with his neighbors hair still wet and plastered down like a helmet over his skull tiny feet swinging beneath his wooden bench happiness of hunger satisfied of friendly conversation the best time of day for him now that Claude
what kind of piss is
this?
beyond the casement panes blue gray sky fades and a night without stars comes to glue itself upon the stained glass the animation of the boys in the huge hall grows conversations become more hectic the clatter of plates and cutlery more deafening the ceiling lights seem to burn and glitter like torches in some medieval hall the cabin at the edge of the forest empty now the little kid curled in one of its corners all hunched up to better admire that low-ceilinged room with its various partitions of tree branches marking out in his mind all that space including his own corner as if he were not there himself earth floor swept clean facing him and he grew more and more excited exalted even imagining how to divide that cabin further more partitions to delineate an entry hall and maybe a bedroom perhaps a curtained door a tree stump and two rush mats for furniture in that entry hall and in that other room he will construct a bed he’ll explain to Dedette what he needs she’ll understand he’s sure of it she even has a stuffed kapok pillow and a big piece of plastic hardly torn he can stretch it up over the roof to make the place more watertight he steals two candles before setting out plus two drinking glasses a flask a box of matches a teaspoon he also hunts around for a mirror an ashtray a cow bell he remembers suddenly there was one where yes there in that tiny alcove under the roof of the abandoned garage yes there where they kept all their nails and twine for tying up prisoners
sun on sweaty naked torsos thick green foliage of high summer and the cabin is almost finished Claude helps the child since it’s to be for both of them Yann’s calves and chubby ass cheeks protrude from the doorway he’s on all fours facing the farthest wall he’s digging a deep hole their cellar will have the dimensions of a huge cookie tin which already sits outside waiting to be lowered into place blue metal ornamented with yellow volutes they’ll put inside it all their stolen goods spending what money they have only to buy comic books adventure stories they can peruse together while stretched out on their stomachs on the rush mats all the while munching on anchovies licorice twists fingers rummaging stickily within cans of pork and beans
after cold cuts come fillets of sole huge hunk of butter swimming on top of each fillet and those guys who turn up their noses at Friday fish day can always have instead a hamburger with a fried egg riding it Yann eats a bit of both he doesn’t like fish much but loves the lemony butter and those little round potatoes so golden surrounding it on the platter as for the sprigs of parsley he scrapes them all off with the edge of his knife his water carafe is already empty thirsty as a sponge although he hasn’t even touched his wine he walks into the kitchen to refill it clear cold water that comes from an underground cistern fed by a deep well on the chateau grounds Yann asks if he can’t have a second hamburger plus some more of those little potatoes from the fish dish Holy Mother of God! shouts the peasant woman who helps out with the cooking this child must have a tapeworm! take some bread child too much meat without bread is bad for the stomach! But I’ve already eaten some Yann protests he is neither skeleton thin nor fat his body is quite well formed for his age slender graceful except for a slight chubbiness about the buttocks a truly exceptional ten-year-old boy when it comes to perfection of bodily form he sets down his carafe its outside misty with moisture that makes his fingers tingle he nibbles at a piece of cold sole while waiting for his second hamburger he takes what’s still left of the baking chocolate out of his pocket tears off half a row of squares in one gulp also coming upon an old butter cookie he’d forgotten hidden deep within that same trouser pocket he chews it along with the chocolate the whole becoming a brownish goo that sticks to his palate turning his breath sour
the two women spent their entire morning washing scraping off those filthy slogans the village hoodlums had scrawled upon the walls of the chateau Simon calls for a special military council to organize a punitive expedition they spend over an hour inditing a highly literary challenge on fine writing paper the envelope bearing a false coat of arms drawn in bright colors then sealed with red wax imprinted with a ring found earlier in a box of crackerjacks Gerard will be their messenger he is to go into the village and hand the challenge to René which he does with a grave air René squints has difficulty reading the challenge then he declares also gravely Tonight then at nine we’ll be there the battle to take place along the river beyond the abandoned manor or villa Simon and René both spend the afternoon calculating their military strength equipping their men
the salad bowl is supposed to serve six but Yann eats almost all of it up himself stuffing huge leaves into his mouth pale green swelling out the corners of his lips glistening with yellow drops of salad oil he sucks crumples tears at them with his teeth and they finally slide down his gullet the other guys all calling him pig automatic garbage disposal unit slob and suddenly a lettuce heart too tart and vinegary causes the child to cough he imagined a second floor a mezzanine above the bedroom you could climb up there using a miniature ladder and there’d be a second bed there plus another hiding place he’d have to invent something of course to stash up there first
he didn’t take part in the fray the bigger guys decided it wiser to be less in number employing only the strongest the smaller kids are always captured too quickly not worth the bother of saddling yourself with them the older guys claim Yann hasn’t yet reached the age of being considered one of them they’re quite certain of winning tonight they always have before
using the chateau itself we could really make a true siege of it this time says Bob
you’re batshit it’s those on the outside who make a siege says Claude we’re the besieged since we’re on the inside
we’re not forced to be we could go outside too but the walls were not solid enough to support the mezzanine Claude hewed four thick branches that were fairly straight to serve as supports setting them up the four corners of a rectangle all he had to do now was nail a frame on top and there it was a new floor three feet above the ground but there weren’t any planks to cover it so Yann stretched a sheet across making a hammock white cream cheese powdered sugar sprinkled on top they devour mountains of it milky gooey clots rolling it into pellets upon their tongues mouths full to frothing and they project these little white globules one at a time down their gullets by sucking in rapidly creating a vacuum Yann sets his spoon down he licks the foam around his lips attacks greedily yet another white mountain shimmering on his plate the older guys have finished all of the wine Gerard brings out a carafe of dark blood-red liquid he winks This is the real stuff guys undiluted reserved only for the real men among us
Claude remains sulking Yann’s antics tonight irritate him more and more he’d love to punch him right in that foaming mad-dog mouth of his but there are certain rules which have to be obeyed it is for example forbidden to use knives to break bones to employ hammers against skulls only hammer handles are allowed after all the parents of those tacky peasant dipshits mustn’t ever be able to file a complaint with the fuzz Aim for their cocks Simon advises they won’t dare go and bitch about that the coffee eclairs are not stuffed full enough with pastry cream for Yann’s liking he eats only one then hurls himself upon a plate of floating islands it’s not the meringue land masses he likes it’s the custard seas he lets several glassfuls of that lovely creamy vanilla-flavored liquid trickle down
you’ve a belly as big as Dedette’s
I don’t have any belly at all Yann yanks his jersey all the way up to his tiny titties the others stare snickering
you’re sucking it in now that’s why
I’m not sucking it in he taps upon it to prove his statement and the dry dull thud no echo at all tells him at least how well he’s dined tonight
maybe so but your ass is still too fat
it is not and what’s more you’ve never even seen my ass
hey wait you guys he’s going to pull down his pants for us
see so there! says Yann with a very superior air but the warriors have already turned back to their preparations in the dorm Simon expounds strategy they’ll leave around eight-thirty
since the enemy is sure to wait in ambush behind the trees along the riverbank and that way Simon and his brave band can surprise them before they’re really entrenched they’ll take them all prisoners incarcerate them in that ruined manor Yann would love to stand guard over them
no you’re not twelve yet you can’t come
I’m as tall as you are I bet I’d win too if the both of us fought a duel
can the shit huh Yann who had been talking up to now mainly in order to make the younger kids laugh suddenly shuts his trap while Captain Simon once more sets forth his battle plan
the floor collapses as soon as Yann climbs up there ripping the sheet in two bringing it down with him and most of the frame as well nothing to do but start all over again so they steal some planks from the sawmill the space between the mezzanine and the cabin roof now at least twenty inches indeed more like two feet a cozy little nook you can slide your whole body lengthwise into
but you can’t fuck somebody up the ass there Claude complains you’d crack your head if you even tried
yes you can if you lie down on your side
I don’t get it
watch lie down exactly like I am only right in front of me huh Yann draws both knees up against his belly on the rush mat of the entry hall but Claude won’t have anything to do with it so Yann has to content himself with sketching in the air the form of another body directly in front of him pushing his groin into it knees spreading wide finally bushed from his exertions he stands up and looks at Claude questioningly Shit what a lousy way to do it says Claude I like it better you on your belly and me on top
the dormitory where a dozen of the smallest children wait seems quite empty after the departure of the warriors Yann is already so bored he suggests they all go down into the garden where they can at least play games