by Kat T. Masen
That’s the cold hard truth.
From the moment I saw Logan walk into his apartment, I knew everything between us had changed. My heart did something—a pitter-pat, a flurry of madness—signifying something dangerous.
It’s invested in him.
It craves attention from only him.
All the things it shouldn’t be feeling, and tonight’s cemented that.
I don’t want him looking at anyone else.
I don’t want him touching anyone else.
I don’t know how to hide my feelings.
Lying here with him, his body pressing against mine with his cock rock hard and grinding on my hip means one thing, and I know I don’t have the strength to fight it. I want him buried inside me, thrusting hard and owning every inch of my body.
“You’re not supposed to have sex before a game,” I remind him.
“That’s an old wives’ tale.”
“Somehow I don’t think old wives were screwing soccer players. I’m sure there’s a medical explanation as to why you shouldn’t shoot your load into my vagina.”
He pauses, withdrawing his kisses and raising his head. “How about I shoot my load into your mouth?”
I smack his chest, laughing simultaneously but quickly becoming distracted by his hand sliding beneath my shirt, squeezing my breast. “No shooting of your load, anywhere.”
“Damn.” He nibbles on the sensitive spot of my lobe. “There’s several places I’d love to shoot my load.”
I’m unable to hide my grin, grateful for the darkness that lays between us. “Like where?”
I can hear the smile in his voice. The cocky bastard knows he has the upper hand right now.
“Let’s see…” he keeps his head positioned near the base of my ear, trailing his finger along my chest, “… here.”
Keeping a straight face is hard, holding back the giggles even harder. “Yeah, I guess so. If you like the whole pearl-necklace thing.”
“Hmm...” He traces my collarbone then switches in the opposite direction, moving south until he stops on my thigh. “How about here?”
“For a soccer player, you have a shitty sense of direction. Maybe go northwest.”
His teeth graze on my lobe, biting down with slight pain that pleasures me. The tip of his finger trails north, just like I directed him, then moves west and in between my thighs until it brushes with my clit. Then with a sudden thrust, it enters me causing my back to arch. I hold in the moan, biting down on my lip tasting blood.
“Sshh,” he commands. “I haven’t finished.”
I weave my fingers through his hair, bringing his face to mine. “I don’t know what else you could possibly show me. And I just bit my own lip to keep quiet so maybe we need to go to sleep now.”
His lips crash onto mine, sucking on my lip where I tasted my own blood. My body feels at a loss when he removes his finger from me, bringing it up to make me taste myself on his finger. I suck and a growl erupts from his chest that’s barely contained in this quiet room.
“So, now I own all of you. I’ve even tasted your blood.”
“If someone heard that, it could be taken the wrong way.”
“Because vampires exist?”
“If they do, I’d sell my left kidney to screw Edward Cullen.”
He lifts his body, and through the moonlight that barely peeks its way through the drapes, I can see his expressed has changed.
Does he know how unbelievably sexy he is? Especially when he plays the brooding lover.
“Why am I jealous of you wanting to screw a fictional vampire?”
“You tell me.” I run the tip of my tongue along his jaw. “I can’t quite work you out.”
His hand grips onto my hip, positioning himself with his cock dancing around my entrance. With no words to say, he slides himself in much to my pleasure and waits for his breathing to stabilize. “I can explain many things, Emmy, but right now I’ll say this...” he trails off. The rhythm of his body distracts him, and me, until I press on his chest and catch my breath begging him to finish his sentence. “What is it, Logan? Don’t leave me hanging here.”
“When I’m not around you, nothing makes sense. When I’m inside you it all makes sense.”
“But we promised to keep this just fun.”
“I don’t like other men touching you.”
“Edward Cullen is not another man.” I attempt to keep light of the situation.
“Don’t do that,” he notes with dark amusement. “Do you know what happens when you make me jealous?”
I shake my head.
“I will punish you.”
Curiosity gets the better of me. “Like what? Spank me? I wouldn’t mind that.”
“I won’t make you come.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “Yeah, right. You know what? That’s just cruel and besides, we’re back to the whole you are the one who’s not supposed to come.” Pushing my hands on his chest, I move him off me and use my body to straddle him. There’s a sense of danger with Ash in the same apartment. Basically, he will literally kill us both if he walks in and sees us together.
I clear my throat in an effort to keep my voice low and unheard. “I’m making an executive decision here… you can’t come, no shooting of loads anywhere. If you play bad it’ll be on me,” I command. “So, with that decided, I’ll come.”
He cups the back of my neck and draws me into him. “You’re fucking crazy.”
“Crazy… maybe.” In a bold move, I lift my legs and raise my clit, positioning it in his mouth. Beneath me he moans, gripping onto my ass tight and sliding his hand around my asshole making me flinch with nerves. I’ve only tried it once, and with that one time, I practically died of pain. It was the worst experience of my life, and I don’t want to revisit anything which results in something going inside my ass.
He continues to flick his tongue, mixing the movement with gentle sucks. My body moves up and down, using the headboard for support as I ride his mouth on the verge of combusting at any given moment. Keeping quiet is the hardest part, my moans trapped inside, and with nothing to bite but my own lips it only heightened the moment.
Logan moves his mouth catching his breath. “I want you to relax.”
What does he mean by that? I’m beyond relaxed. I’m about to come until he stops me.
His finger moves around my ass, playing with my entrance.
Oh no. My body tenses, nerves settling at the fear of the unknown.
“Logan, I—”
“Relax,” he repeats.
I breathe in and out, trying to focus on controlling my racing heart. With his spare hand, he brings it to his face, spreading my lips and running his tongue along the inside of my pussy. The sensation begins to build again causing me to rock slowly. I rub my clit along his mouth, lost in how my body is reacting—hair standing on end with goosebumps covering every inch of me.
I’m almost there, riding him hard until his finger pushes against my ass and slowly slides in stopping immediately.
My body stills.
My heart racing like a fucking maniac and all I can think about is Logan’s finger is sitting in my ass. The pain subsides after only a few seconds while he continues to flick my clit, bringing back the pleasure once again.
I press harder, my body demanding he finish me off. Then, he slides his finger in deeper and stops. The pain, again, stopping my impending orgasm.
“I’m going to finger this tight ass of yours and you’re going to come now,” he murmurs beneath me.
I’m terrified. It’ll hurt and I’ll have to offend him and tell him to pull out. Then there’ll be this awkward feeling between us and I’ll feel like a failure for not being an ass girl.
His tongue circles my clit in the same motion. The more he spreads my lips, the more exposed my pussy is to his mouth. I begin to rock again, laying my palms flat on the wall as he eats me like I’m his last meal on earth.
The fire in my belly stirs, and when all of my skin ignites and there’s
no way to escape from him but to spiral out of control, he slides his finger in and out of my ass in sync with my body.
I don’t expect the raw pleasure. My body continues on this high from him worshipping me this way. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, making the whole world see that this sexy man beneath me is the only one to have ever made my body react this way. I didn’t want to stop, ever. I want all of him now, and for the rest of my life to take me however he wants.
I want him to own me.
I want to own him.
I need his jealousy to drive him to the brink of insanity and take that out on me however he desires. I want to do all the things my body doesn’t know it craves.
I want only him.
My body loses all self-control, collapsing on top of him as I use the little energy I have left to lay beside him. The sound of my heart beating is obnoxiously loud and does nothing to control my breathing.
“You’re beautiful when you come for me.”
“How would you know?” I struggle to say. “I practically smothered you to death.”
He props himself up on his elbow, sweeping my hair away from my face. Lowering his head, he kisses the tip of my nipple causing me to shiver in delight.
“You’re not helping me right now,” I beg him to stop because I’m greedy and hungry for more.
“I’m sorry,” he responds playfully. “So, the deal is if I win the game tomorrow, I get to do whatever I want to you?”
My chest begins to rise and fall, overcome by laughter. “When did I say that?”
“It was right before you came... something along the lines of you can do anything you want to me.”
“I don’t recall that.”
“To be fair…” he says with concern, “… you weren’t held to ransom. I could have easily stopped.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.” I grin, messing his hair with my hand to annoy him.
Why does he have to be so beautiful, grinning back at me like a fool?
“I’d like to be a pain in your ass. You seem to enjoy it.”
I pull the sheet to cover my body, despite the hot flashes from our current choice of topic. I shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about it, and maybe after that small trial run I could be open to more.
My hands move around the bed, searching for my shirt. I place it on along with my panties that magically disappeared. Despite my reluctance to leave I know he needs his sleep. “I have to go. I don’t want Ash waking up and finding me here. He can’t know about us,” I remind him.
“I know, Emmy.” He sighs in agreement. “Go to the living room. I probably won’t see you till the day after. If it goes our way tomorrow, we’re out all night celebrating with the club. If it doesn’t go our way... then we’re screwed.”
“I wish I could come to the game but we have a filming schedule I can’t get out of.”
“With Wesley...” It’s a statement, not a question.
“Don’t do this, Logan.” I get out of bed standing beside him. “Focus on your game and not on what either of us can’t control.”
“We can’t control?” His eyes bore into me, a mixed look of confusion and denial. Sitting up in bed, his back against the headboard, he rests his hands on his lap waiting for me to respond.
“Our emotions, Logan.”
There’s silence, something that doesn’t surprise me. Neither of us expected the situation to end up here—in bed discussing any sort of ‘emotions.’
“Emmy...” he trails off, running his fingers through his messy sex hair, “… I can’t discuss this now.”
I sigh but keep my posture straight and confident not wanting to show him how much he affects me. “Of course, you can’t,” I tell him with a smile “Go to sleep, Logan. There’s always another time.”
“Good night.”
“Good night,” I whisper, closing the door behind me and allowing my heart to feel the pain.
Wanting more terrifies me.
Not because I’m incapable of falling in love.
It’s because I shouldn’t be falling in love with Logan Carrington.
Chapter Seventeen
“Family means everything to me.
Those joined by blood, marriage,
and those who are destined to be in your life
no matter what.”
~ Emerson Chase.
I couldn’t sleep a wink. My body is still on West Coast time, I’m wide awake and staring at the ceiling. I lay in a room that divides two important people in my life—my brother and the man who consumes me. It would have been selfish for me to drag Logan into a conversation about us with his focus needing to be on tomorrow’s game.
Yet, my brain refuses to shut down.
So many questions need answering.
There are many things that stand against us, and it’s difficult for me to hold back the resentment toward everyone who will have a ‘say’ in our relationship. It’s not just Logan and me. There’s Wesley, Ash, Mom and Dad. Oh... and the whole damn world.
And that’s to say that Logan’s head’s in the same place as mine right now. I know him well. Understand how driven he can be, yet when it comes to matters of the heart, he thinks with his dick only.
And I have no idea if I’m any more than a notch on his belt. After all, he did screw that nurse.
How many other women has he been with while we’re having our stringless fun?
The time on my cell tells me it’s after midnight. So, I toss and turn, desperate to clear my head to no avail.
Me: Do you think people would notice if I fell off the face of this Earth?
I send the text to my sister knowing she will respond instantly since her cell is practically glued to her hand. I made a conscious decision to keep in regular contact with her after my trip back home.
Tayla: Is this about Wesley and Farrah at that club?
Huh? I remember they went to some hip club, but I made no effort to speak to him afterward. He has free rein to do whatever or whomever he pleases. Our ‘almost’ sexual encounter was a huge wake-up call for him. I think it’s finally sunk in how stupid his night in Amsterdam was and everything he lost in his life for a moment of pleasure. It hasn’t stopped him from acting like a jerk, and this season has been the toughest for me trying to keep up the charade. I’m ready to move on.
Me: ???
Tayla sends me a screenshot of Farrah’s Instagram post. It’s nothing unlike what she would typically post, with Wesley’s arm around her in the middle of the club with her ridiculous duck face.
Me: The jerk can piss off with her duck face. I can’t sleep. Why didn’t you come to London with the parentals?
She types ridiculously quick and the message appears.
Tayla: Exams. A boy. London with the parentals would have been lame. Need I say more?
I smile, easily forgetting she still has to answer to Mom and Dad. You’d think they would loosen the strings with Tayla having already gone through the teenage phase with Ash and me, but if anything they’re stricter.
Me: I’m guessing Gran’s with you? Slip some brandy in her night tea and you’re good to go for three hours till she wakes up to pee. I should get some sleep. Night sissy.
She follows by sending me some random GIF making me giggle quietly beneath the soft covers. I put my phone away and will myself to sleep when my mind begins to unwind and the exhaustion takes over.
***
The boys left for training at the crack of dawn. I didn’t hear them leave, falling asleep and waking up to the smell of coffee filtering through the apartment.
Alessandra has a shift at the hospital then plans to catch the end of the game when she’s done.
She cooks me breakfast, gives me some clothes to wear and suggests I stay in case the stalker’s watching me.
As much as I would love to stay, we have a schedule to adhere to so I call Cliff and explained what happened last night. He seems genuinely concerned, organizing a car service and bodyguard to pick me up.
Back at the hotel not long later, I quickly shower and change into something more relaxed. A pair of light blue boyfriend-cut jeans and a white T-shirt. I immediately place my sneakers on, ready to join the rest of the crew at Poppy’s parents’ house. With my purse in hand and a jacket in case the weather cools down, I open my door to find Wes standing outside, blocking my way.
“Is it true?” His tone is sharp, almost demanding. There’s dark circles around his eyes and his clothes appear rumpled and worn.
“Wesley, the car’s waiting downstairs. Can whatever this is wait?”
“No, it can’t wait, Emerson.”
I shove my hands in my pockets. “What?”
“That a man is stalking you?”
I purse my lips, eyes wide while nodding my head.
“And you slept at Logan’s?”
“Ash and Logan’s,” I correct him. “They live together. Ash took me home because I wasn’t safe alone.”
Wesley had no problem expressing his anger. His fist is resting against the door panel, curled into a ball with his knuckles white. “He could have brought you back here.”
“You were with Farrah,” I remind him. “Don’t pull that shit with me.”
He latches onto my arm with force. The pressure begins to hurt as I wriggle out of his grip refusing to let him intimidate me.
“Are you sleeping with him?”
I begin to panic under his firm grasp. Why on earth would he think that? Everything Logan and I have done is in private, there’s no way for Wes to find out. But the guilt and question accelerate the beating of my heart until I’m sure it will explode at any moment.
“Who are you talking about?” I play dumb, keeping my gaze controlled.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Emerson! Logan Carrington. Are. You. Fucking him?”
“You know what...” I keep my voice low, mindful of people in the rooms surrounding us may hear, “… leave him and my brother alone. As for you and me, we’re over, Wes. If I want to fuck someone, I believe I have the freedom to do so.”