by Kat T. Masen
“Sounds like a plan, but first…” He shuffles closer to me, standing in front, lowering his face so our noses touch. “Just one more kiss.”
I pull his shirt, bridging the gap between us. I miss his scent—the way his skin smells like man sweat, how warm his lips feel against mine, and how my senses are heightened as he explores my body, hands moving into my blouse and against my breast.
In a desperate attempt to ignore this niggly feeling I can’t quite pinpoint, I clasp my hand on his belt buckle and welcome a quick ‘hello’ before heading out to dinner.
“Milly!” Flynn bangs loudly on the door, calling my name. “You wanna head out for something to eat?”
It’s enough to kill the moment, the two of us pulling away with gentle laughter. I quickly fix my blouse as Liam adjusts his pants.
“Let’s go before he goes on a hunger rampage.”
We head into the living room, engaging in small chit-chat with the band and invite them out. They are keen, laughing like boys as we head out into the foyer in a group. I grab the keys and my cell off the table, following the boys outside. The second my foot is out the door, my body stops abruptly when my eyes meet Wesley’s.
Fuck.
I’m not one to be so vulgar with my vocabulary, but this is definitely a fuck moment. I can’t breathe, my chest is so tight. I’m pretty certain it’s going to cut off my airway and kill me right now.
He’s standing against the banister, arms folded, staring at me with savage eyes. The bandmates continue to make noise down the stairwell as Flynn hollers something crude before yelling my name.
“C’mon, Mills, I’m fucking starving,” Flynn yells, bounding down the stairs, quickly looking at Wesley with confusion.
“Um… hold on. I’ll follow you there.”
Liam is waiting for me, watching the two of us back and forth. I’m not sure what to say. Okay, more like what the hell is happening?
“Wesley, nice to see you.” My expression is professional, smile intact with a polite greeting. “This is Liam. We’re all heading out to dinner. Everyone’s starving, so I suggested the Chinese place around the corner. I tell you what, their Peking duck is mouthwatering…”
My nervous ramble slows down as Wesley’s expression doesn’t change, he’s paralyzed with anger. He hasn’t moved an inch, nor said a word, standing eerily still in his designer ripped jeans, black tee, and Adidas sneakers. I hate that he looks so sexy.
Liam extends his hand, waiting patiently for Wesley, who shakes it moments later. “So, you’re a friend of Milly’s.”
“If you say so.”
“Okay, so we better head off… unless you want to join us?”
Wesley smirks, dismissing Liam’s respectful tone. A far cry from his jealous stance when I mentioned Charlie’s name earlier. “Sure, why not.”
It’s the most awkward five-minute walk around the block. I spend most of the time staring at the pavement, occasionally engaging in idle chit-chat, and the moment I see the place, I breathe a huge sigh of relief, slipping inside to the table and sitting beside Flynn. Then, I realize it means Wesley and Liam will have to sit next to each other.
With much reluctance, I swap seats so Liam’s next to Flynn, and I’m piggy in the middle.
After a quick introduction between Flynn, the bandmates, and Wesley, we order food and throw ourselves into random conversations. Liam and Flynn talk about music and life back home, distracted as they reminisce about old times while Wesley sits in silence.
I lean forward, playing with my napkin and whispering into the dessert menu that I purposely raise to cover my face. “You didn’t say you’d be back.”
“It’s amazing what you can come back to without warning.”
“Wesley…” I continue with a low voice, “… let me explain, later.”
Mrs. Ling brings out the dishes, sizzling with steam coming off the plates. There’s the famous duck, egg rolls, classic orange chicken, and something that looks rather questionable.
We each serve ourselves before Liam decides to open the conversation. “How do you know each other?”
I’m quick to jump in, praying that Wesley doesn’t say anything about our encounters. “Work. Wesley and Emerson run a business, so we only hang out for business stuff.” The lie travels nicely and dissolves into my talk about Emerson’s new line until Wesley opens his mouth. “I wouldn’t say just business,” he mutters with a trace of sarcasm.
“Hey, now I know where I’ve seen you from. You played guitar with Hanlon Marx.” Flynn is oblivious to the back-and-forth tension going on with a mouthful of duck and pointing his fork at Wesley.
“You play guitar?” I ask rather loudly. “How did I not know that?”
“I thought you said you only discuss business,” Liam voices with a jealous bite.
I backtrack through my words, anxiety building from this awkward meal setting. “Yes, Wesley is in the media a fair bit, and I read an article on Emerson and um…”
“Emerson and I were engaged,” Wesley adds with too much enjoyment. “A great woman.”
Wait, Emerson is a great woman. Yes, she is.
But what the hell was that?
I feel my blood begin to boil, a raging fire threatening to burn any of my sensibility. I’m not dumb, aware this is some childish game to goad a reaction from me, but the temptation to bite back is too great to ignore.
“Engaged to Emerson. Your boss, Emerson?” Liam asks, confused.
“They were engaged, but Wesley screwed up, and now they’re not.” I dig into my chicken, trying to control my anger. “So, what do you need tonight, anyway? The contracts are signed, and there’s nothing left to do.”
“Milana, you sound agitated. Did I say or do something?”
I turn to face him, composing my jealousy as he gazes back with an irritating grin. The color of his eyes soften, if only for a moment, or perhaps that’s what I want to see.
You don’t know what you want.
“So, Liam, are you Milana’s boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Liam answers, placing his arm around my chair, the same time I say, “No.”
Liam diverts his attention to me.
Shit, I don’t know what overcame me. The panic. Blame the panic.
“Well, which one is it?” Wesley questions, leaning back and watching the two of us.
“We dated back home. Liam surprised me today. It seems it’s a day of surprises.”
“You guys have been together forever, you’re practically married,” Flynn blurts out, again, oblivious to the sound of Wesley’s teeth practically grinding from rage. “So, Liam, you moving out here?”
“Not my kinda place.”
“So, what is your kinda place? Hay, barn, cows greeting you in the morning while you milk them?” Wesley mocks, much to Liam’s and my annoyance.
“Just don’t like this plastic lifestyle. Money-hungry creeps.”
“Money-hungry creeps?” Wesley laughs, arrogantly. “Driven, smart people making a living.”
Liam throws his napkin onto the table. “Yeah, that and dumbass actors.”
“Okay, stop, the both of you. Who wants fortune cookies?” I wave Mrs. Ling over with desperation. She carries over a tray of cookies, and the moment the tray is in front of me, my grabby hands crack one open hoping for a miracle.
Choose wisely. Your happiness depends on it.
I look over at Mrs. Ling. She purposely turns away, dusting a shelf and ignoring the fact that she slipped that into mine. You don’t tamper with fortune, Mrs. Ling! I yell, internally.
“Let’s get outta here. Where you staying, man?” Flynn asks Liam.
“This place… not far from here.”
“Why don’t you just crash at our place?”
“Sure. Is that okay, Milly?”
This is getting worse by the second. There is rock, a pile of shit, then me.
Why is Flynn suggesting that in front of Wesley? How can my brother be that stupid?
“Um�
�� I guess it’s fine. I mean, yes. Don’t waste money staying somewhere. I need to get some fresh air. Are we done?” I don’t even wait for a response—throwing some cash onto the table which Wesley hands back to me as his Amex card makes an appearance—exiting the restaurant, desperate to breathe and release my tight chest. I begin walking, my name’s being called, but everything is a blur while I walk as if on auto-pilot.
“Milly.” A tight grip holds me back. Liam is forcefully holding on, determined to get an answer. “Who is he?”
“What?” I answer, distracted by a homeless man lying on the pavement.
“Wesley,” he says in a harsh tone, gritting his teeth. “Did you sleep with him?”
“No,” I defend myself, trying to explain without hurting him. “Liam, it’s not like that.”
“Fuck, Milly!” he yells, letting me go, his hands tucked into his jeans pockets, and with anger fueled by jealousy, he paces back and forth with a heavy stomp. “I’m not fucking stupid. You barely call me anymore, and when we talk, you’re distant. You’ve changed.”
“Of course, I’m distant. It’s difficult for me to be here.”
“You’ve been here barely a month! It isn’t difficult. You’re managing to make friends, even male ones. Just tell me, are we over?”
“Liam, we agreed when I came out here that our relationship would just see where it took us. No commitments.”
“So, that’s how you justify fucking him?”
Liam accusing me of sleeping with Wesley awakens a beast inside of me. I haven’t betrayed him, at least, our time apart was agreed upon. He has no clue how lonely I am and no compassion when it comes to me being away from Mama. His answer is to get married, pay for what I need, and keep me holed up in his parents’ basement.
I don’t want that life.
And I don’t want to continue holding onto something that doesn’t feel right.
I love him, but it isn’t enough.
“I’m not fucking him,” I yell back, lowering my voice when a woman turns around. “Stop doing this. Stop putting pressure on me. You don’t know what it’s like to be alone, to be responsible for my brother who spends his time out doing God knows what, to have family and friends back home and be so alone. I miss it so much it hurts. So, just stop—”
“I’m going.”
“Liam, please, I’m sorry.” My remorse kicks in—delayed—yet gut-wrenching at the same time. “Where are you going?”
“I shouldn’t have come. Tell Flynn I said goodbye. Good luck, Milly.” Liam glances at me one more time, the skin around his eyes bunching up in a pained stare. “You want a bad boy? You’ve found your contender. Just don’t think I’ll be waiting and ready to save you. Been there, done that.” He finally walks away, leaving me alone on the street.
I’m at a loss of what to do, begging the universe for some sort of sign.
Do I run after him, tell him I’m sorry and try to mend what I’ve so foolishly broken?
Or has the universe played its part—aligning the stars so Wesley and Liam would be at the same place, same time, forcing me to choose a hand?
Maybe Mrs. Ling is right.
I let him go, though it pains me. Forcing the bittersweet memories to fade away, if only for just this moment, and continue my journey, my purpose here, with one less person in my wings.
Flynn and Wesley are nowhere to be seen, so I head back to the apartment, flinging myself onto my bed. It starts with one silent tear falling down my cheek as the salty liquid settles on my lips. But one tear becomes a stream, a constant flow of sadness for letting go of a man who did nothing wrong.
He’s your textbook prince charming.
But this just isn’t the right time.
I fall asleep from the exhaustion, waking up in the dark to the sound of a car backfiring. It startles me, my heart pounding from the loud noise. I’m awake, at some god-awful hour, wishing the morning would come until the sound of heavy breathing distracts me.
My eyes open slowly—strained. Wesley is sitting on the armchair near the window. I pull myself up, rubbing my tired eyes. The same time it all comes back to me—the restaurant, Wesley and Liam’s arguing, the breakup afterward.
“What are you doing here?” I croak.
“I think we need to talk,” he growls, abandoning the chair and standing over me beside the bed.
Chapter Fourteen
“I leave for two minutes, and you’re here with another guy who happens to be your boyfriend?” His anger morphs into a jealous rage, his fist meeting the wall with a ferocious punch.
I leap off the bed, shocked at his sudden outburst. A minute ago, he was staring at me, calm and eerily silent. Now I have a dent in the wall that my landlord will crucify me over.
“What did you do that for?” My high-pitched voice does nothing to hide my panic. “Do you know how much that will cost me? Of course not, you have no concept of what it’s like to have nothing and work hard for every cent you own.”
“To let out my frustration,” he shouts again, pacing the room back and forth. “You never said you were in a relationship.”
“I said it was complicated.”
A laugh escapes him—delirious and unwelcoming. He stops the manic pace, positioning himself in front of me with an overpowering stance.
“This is the problem. You don’t open up about you.” He points his finger into my chest, eyes blazing. “You can say all you want about your complications, but you don’t tell me why or who. I mean, for fuck’s sake, do you have some lovechild back home? Are you part of a traveling circus act? Who the fuck knows!”
Now it’s my turn to pace, a reaction from the pile of questions he’s just thrown at me. This isn’t how I envisioned this night going. I should be mourning the loss of a man who has been my steady rock the past few years, not fighting a battle with this crazed lunatic.
“I left home because my mama forced us. She has advancing Alzheimer’s, and so we can keep our house and afford her care, I had to move somewhere where we can earn more money. I lost my job back home. There’s nothing else for me to do. She’s staying in a care facility.” My voice fades, leaving it at that until I realize he’s followed me to the window where I unthinkingly gravitate to.
“Liam and I have been in a relationship for years. When I left, I promised him that we would just be. I didn’t commit to anything more than that.”
“So, you’re still together?”
“No, I mean yes. I said it was complicated…” My head begins to hurt, a migraine imminent from the stress of today. Shutting my eyes tight, I wish the pain away, opening them moments later with the same pain in the back of my eyes and circulating my head.
“Did you fuck him?”
“When?”
“Now, today, whatever!” His eyes continue to haunt me, this jealous beast who is trapping me in the corner of my room.
“No, he wanted to, but I…”
The warmth of his hands suddenly grips my face, lips pressed firmly against mine as he pins my body against the window. The glass is warm, the heat coming through from outside. His tongue rolls against mine, hard and with force, sending a stream of sensations to every part of my body and making me ache everywhere for him.
It’s just a kiss.
How does he do this?
Wesley pulls away, only just, keeping his lips extremely close so I can feel his breath against my skin. I want to tell him to go away, we probably shouldn’t be doing this, but this newfound lust that I have guiding me makes it difficult to think about anything besides his lips.
“I come home, and you’re here with another man, who says he’s your boyfriend. You can expect I will go wild.”
“But he’s not my boyfriend…” I finally admit it. Liam said goodbye, and I let him walk away. I can sugarcoat this in my mind as much as I want to ease the guilt, but the reality is crueler. There is no escaping it no matter how much I try.
“I know… because I am.”
My face pulls awa
y from him, confused. “You are?”
“Why do you sound surprised?”
“Because don’t you ask these things? You can’t assume you’re in a relationship.”
“Maybe, in high school. My thoughts are crazy when I’m around you. And when I’m not around you, they’re wild. I fucking missed this smart mouth of yours when I was gone. So, if that isn’t enough to be your boyfriend, then maybe this is…” He gets down on his knees, his hands wrapping around my legs, eyes wide staring up at me with a sexy grin. “I want you.” With a slow burn, his hands wander up and down against the back of my thighs, causing my legs to shake with pleasure.
“What if I say no?”
He kisses my thigh, the moan escaping my mouth as his lips linger against my heated skin. “I’d say we’d have to find a way to cure that mouth of yours, and I’m sure I could find something to stick inside.”
“Okay, fine. Since you’re practically begging me.” I roll my eyes, hiding my elation at this over-the-top cutesy conversation where the baddest boy in town just asked me to be his girlfriend.
It is stupid, ridiculous, yet, I don’t care. If there’s anything that Wesley has done right, it’s make me forget. When he’s this close to me, it is all about him.
Wesley Rich in the spotlight.
He continues to slide his hands up my thighs, positioning them, so he’s firmly cupping my ass. Slowly, he eases his way to a standing position, his body pressing against mine.
“I don’t beg. You will have said yes.”
“Oh please, cue the bad-boy talk.”
He tilts his head in amusement, displaying a wide grin and teasing me by biting his lower lip. I’m drawn to the way his teeth gnaw on the corner of his mouth, much like an animal ready to pounce on his mouthwatering prey. His grip around my ass tightens until his hands slide lower and around the front. His long fingers brush against my panties, causing me to suck in my breath as the sensation begins a rippling effect of pleasure.
“Like I said…” His head is buried into my neck, his warm breath against my skin. “You will have said yes.”