****
I tap my phone again, wondering why he hasn’t bothered to answer me. He promised last night that he would make it by lunch, yet here it is, five minutes’ past and he hasn’t even bothered to call me back. I was dumb enough to believe things would be better. We worked things out after our huge blowout. I thought maybe he was right; maybe everything’s in my head.
I always assume the worst, because I’ve always had the worst. But not even my pessimistic mind could've seen this little stunt coming. At least he could’ve thought of an excuse. Any lame excuse I could give my family that would explain his absence. My mom, the hopeless romantic, will be crushed. My dad, the assface, will have a field day with the fact that the guy I actually chose for myself is standing me up.
I look in the living room and frown. There he sits with my dad, laughing and talking sports. Of course my dad would invite Joseph after I announced Hayze would be here. Joseph, being the nice guy he is, complied and came to the family dinner, thinking that this was just a friendly visit.
“Anything?” My mom asks, coming up behind me.
I swipe away the stupid tear that forsook me. “Yeah, his sister had something come up and had to move her flight, so he picked her up.”
A grin stretches across her face. “That is so sweet,” she exclaims. I can’t tell if she’s being sincere or just being supportive of me.
“Yeah, he’s a real…sweetheart.”
She wraps her arms around me and places a kiss on my head before walking away. I follow behind her as she gathers the family into the dining room. My dad’s eager grin hits me, he props his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his hands. His eyes dart to Joseph, who sits across from me, then they fall on me.
“Taylor, where’s your friend?” He asks, clearly amused.
“My boyfriend can’t make it today. He had a family thing come up,” I explain.
Scott doesn’t look like he believes me but he keeps his opinion to himself. The rest of the family looks around at the awkward scene my dad painted out.
“He went to get his sister from the airport. Isn’t that nice, sweetheart?” My mom gushes and pats my dad on the arm.
“Yes, it is. If it’s the truth,” he huffs. Everyone falls silent.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I snap.
“I don’t think anything should come before meeting your girlfriend’s family. The way your mother talks about the two of you it seems like things are pretty serious. I don’t think a serious relationship is going in the right direction if lies are being told this early,” he says.
I throw my head back, laughing without humor; “Oh, the irony!”
“I’m going to be honest with you, Taylor, I don’t like this new attitude you’ve developed while you have been away. Does this Hayze boy have something to do with that?”
A knock at the door interrupts our fight. My mom briskly walks away away and shoots me a pleading look. I exhale and look to Joseph.
“How’s school going?” I ask.
He grins; his boyish charm shines through as he leans against the table. “Well, thank you. I was able to complete two years of credit during high school. Next year I’m starting an internship and graduating.”
“Isn’t that nice, Taylor?” My dad chimes in.
“What is that you are doing again? Sorry, I forgot.”
“I’m an economics major, but I’m applying for Optometry school after graduation,” he says. My dad smiles as if he’s a proud parent showing off his honor roll child.
“I can’t believe you two are on the same campus every day and haven’t ran into each other,” Sean says, watching me.
I shrug. “We have different classes.”
“And different ideas on fun,” Scott chimes in.
“Look who’s surprising you!” My mom says.
I find Hayze, standing awkwardly in my mom’s grasps. His tattoos are covered behind a black leather jacket; his jeans are light with holes lining the knees. His brown hair is wild as if he drove the hour with his windows down.
He takes the vacant seat to my right and captures my hand under the table. “I wanted to surprise you after I picked Lea up,” he says, cocking a brow.
“How thoughtful of you to show up after that,” I say. I hope no one else picks up on the sarcasm in my voice. Hayze does, but he doesn’t seem fazed. The momentary shock and confusion are over. The family carries on with conversation.
“I lost my phone,” Hayze whispers.
“You’re late,” I shoot back.
“I’m here.”
“Are you going to introduce us?” My dad asks. He strokes his graying mustache and glares at Hayze. For the first meeting I’m glad he covered his tattoos, my dad already has enough to hassle me about throughout dinner, like the prodigal son sitting at his side.
“Uh yeah, Hayze this is my family.”
“And this is Joseph. The guy she dated throughout high school, she’s mentioned him, right?” My dad says, pointing to Joseph.
“Yes sir, she’s mentioned him,” he says, surprisingly calm. I braced when my dad said that, at the very least I expected a sarcastic response. Maybe a chair thrown across the room, maybe my dad getting punched in the face. I’m finding that Hayze is anything but persistent.
“Tell us about yourself, where do you work? What’s your major?” My dad urges.
“He works at the bar with me,” I say.
“Figures,” he mumbles.
“I’m a Psychology major. I graduate in the spring and I’ve already applied to the graduate program,” Hayze answers.
I cut my eyes at him, realizing this is the first I have heard of his plans. “And what happens if you don’t get in?” My dad asks.
“I have a four point oh, with all due respect sir, I’m getting in.”
“Joseph here is going to optometry school,” my dad says, clasping him on the shoulder. For the first time, Joseph realized what his purpose is for the dinner. He smiles and shifts nervously in his seat. Scott doesn’t wait for the blessing or the go ahead on making his plate. He looks up as he dumps dressing on his plate and laughs.
“These guys are preachers,” Scott laughs, pointing to my dad and Sean. “And I’m a college dropout with a hangover. Now that it’s settled, let’s eat.”
“Scott, for once can you not be yourself?” Sean cuts in.
“We have guests,” my mom reminds them, sweetly as she smiles at Hayze.
Aside from forks clinking, dinner was silent. Occasionally we would entertain a light topic, but we would always fall silent. Truth be told, my family always forced these things. We are split and my mom is Switzerland.
After dinner my mom gathered plates. Like always, Scott helped her. “Taylor, why don’t you show Hayze around the place,” my mom says, smiling.
Once outside I show him the swing on the back porch. I collapse on it, but he stands and pats down his jeans. “Hold on, let me send Lea a text,” he says.
I watch him type up a text then send it before I cross my arms. “Glad you found your phone.” Sitting beside me, he exhales and places his hands on his knees. His eyes remained fixed on the porch. An eternity passes before I grow impatient. At this point I know he’s stalling to think of some bullshit to feed me.
“You’ve gotta give me some answers. I was blindsided back there. It never occurred to me that I didn’t even know your major, or your passion and why you chose it,” I say, clasping my hands on my face. “We obviously need to slow way down. And…and you need to give me some answers or I can’t do it anymore, Hayze.”
“Slow down? Fuck! I just told you I loved you…we don’t need to slow down!”
I groan in frustration. I jump from the swing and pace the narrow porch. “Is it someone else?”
“Your dad brought your ex-boyfriend to flaunt him in my fucking face. I don’t know what the hell’s been goin’ on while I’m away. You think that doesn’t bother me?”
“I don’t mean that, it’
s just that I have this gut feeling that you are not always honest with me. And sometimes I don’t think I know you at all.”
“I was detained last night,” he says, finally.
“Detained?” I wrinkle my nose.
He shrugged. “Yeah, arrested is kind of a strong word. I was held overnight with no charges so no big deal.”
“YOU WERE ARRESTED?”
He brings his finger to his lips. “Keep it down. No, just held overnight like I said, there’s no charges they just kept me ‘til I sobered up.”
“You were drunk?” I throw my arms up and take a step away from him. “This just keeps getting better and better, Hayze! You told me you don’t drink!”
“You wanted to know!” He says, going on the defense.
“What happened?”
“When I got home Joel was having another party. The cops had already been called to it, but he didn’t quiet down,” he says.
“Where had you been?”
“Jesus, Taylor, I was at my mom’s.”
I roll my eyes. “Do you expect me to believe that?”
“Call her! She asked me to come over for Christmas and I told her I was coming here, so I went last night.” His voice is hushed, but threatens to break at any second.
“Why were you drunk?” I ask.
“They were having a Christmas Eve party, so yeah I drank with them.”
“You drove home drunk?”
“This is startin’ to feel like an interrogation. Back to the point, when I got home Joel was having a party and we got into it again. The cops showed up, arrested us, but we wouldn’t say what happened so they just held us ‘til we were sober. I’ve never been arrested before, it scared the shit out of me.”
“You and Joel don’t need to hang out anymore, Hayze. You guys bring out the worst in each other,” I say. I’ve wanted to bring that to his attention for a while.
“Yeah, I’m breaking my lease this month. I, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about that,” he says. I sit next to him and he takes my hand in his. Nervously, he rakes his hand through his hair.
The screen door pops open, lighting the porch. “Am I interrupting somethin’?” Scott asks as he steps on the porch without our consent.
“Nope, nothing’s going on out here. I think I’m about to head back to the dorms,” I say, forcing a yawn.
“Good luck gettin’ out, dad has a bunch of questions,” he laughs.
“Ugh maybe I should go around the yard and get in my car,” I say.
“No, don’t do that, c’mon I’ll walk with you,” Hayze says, standing and offering me his hand.
“Later, Tater bug,” Scott says. I wrap my arms around his middle and squeeze.
“Love you,” I say as I walked inside.
“Bye Hayze.”
Hayze waves once then we walk inside to face the wrath of my father. He’s perched in his recliner, watching the door like a hawk. His frown deepens as Hayze comes into sight behind me. Without a word, I jog upstairs with Hayze following.
“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Dad shouts.
“Leaving,” I say.
“Hayze can wait down here with the family,” he calls, jogging after us.
I turn in my room, throw my backpack on the bed and toss my clothes inside. I grab my toothbrush and makeup from the small attached bathroom, then throw them inside. I look in the mirror and inspect my outfit for the drive home. The tan sweater fits snugly, stopping mid-thigh. My dark jeggings disappear into my boots. Since it’s comfortable, I leave my outfit and sling my backpack on just in time for my dad to stalk in.
“Did you hear me?” Dad asks.
“Yeah Dad, I did, Hayze and I are not hormone-crazed teenagers. We can keep it together long enough to get my clothes.”
With his deep brows bunched together, he cheeks puff full of air and redden on the surface. As soon as I think he’s about to explode, he shoves his sausage of a finger in my direction. “I warned you last time about your job and that girl you brought home, but this…This is different! You took this to a whole new level, Taylor! You came in my house and embarrassed me in front of my guest the way you flaunted working at a bar and this… This guy you think you care about,” he says, looking at Hayze in complete disgust.
“YOUR GUEST?! You mean the guy you wanted me to date in high school? And don’t you dare talk about Hayze and me! I’m in love with him and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
I watch as he turns ten shades of red before responding. “Get out!”
Refusing to cry, I jog downstairs, searching for my mom; I find her sitting on the couch by Sean. She perks up as I stalk toward her. “We’re going home, Mom.”
“Home? You mean you two are living together?” Dad huffs.
“No sir, I have an apartment off campus. I’m driving back with Taylor to make sure she gets home safely,” Hayze says. Then he crosses his arms and looks my dad in the eye. My dad is furious, but what can he say to that? “But for the record, I’ve tried to get her to move in with me,” he says.
I throw my hands up at Hayze, he only shrugs and remains unfazed. My dad’s bushy eyebrows raise and he looks between us before he leaves. “Do something with that guy,” I say, teasing Mom.
“Oh, honey, I trust you.” She stands in front of me, taking my hands in hers, she looks into my eyes. “If you ever need me for anything, just call. What you tell me is a secret between the two of us, you know that right?”
“I do, thanks mom. See you next time,” I say.
Her thin arms wrap tightly around me. “I love you,” she says.
“Love you, too.” I hold her tight, taking in the fresh scent of floral perfume. I stay safely tucked in her arms until I hear Hayze shuffle, taking that as our cue to go, I step out of her reach. She places a soft kiss on my cheek. “I’ll see you soon,” she whispers.
“It was nice meeting you, Hayze. Take care of my girl,” she tells Hayze.
I knew Hayze coming here would not end well for anyone. My dad always had a certain imagine he expected me to uphold—for all of his children to uphold. Growing up here was lonely; although Scott has always been the same, I chose a less confrontational childhood. He always pushed my dad to his breaking point. Years of rebellion forced my dad to lay down the law when it came to his other children. I always obliged. Every fiber of my being held onto the belief that once I was gone I could paint myself as who I thought I should be. I was the trophy of the family, I dated the boy my father carefully chose for me, sat in the front row of every church service, and turned down every party invitation. Then Hayze crashed into my life like a massive tsunami, crushing my dad’s dreams one by one, but at the same time he turned me into the person I was supposed to be.
When I stepped outside the cool wind whips my hair into frenzy. I tug a beanie on, willing my hair to cooperate. Once it’s in place, I run to my car, clicking unlock until I no longer need the headlights. I slide inside and crank the heat up. The gravel crunches under his steps. He walks up and holds my door, blocking my opportunity to close it. With a raised eyebrow, I rub my forearms, waiting for him to get to the point.
“You want my jacket?” He asks. He looks into my eyes and reaches for my hand. The gesture is middle ground between consoling and passionate.
“No, my sweaters fine,” I say, swatting his hand from me.
“Are you going back to the dorms?” He asks flatly, adding a sigh with my reluctance.
“Yeah, I guess I am. I really need to put everything up, I’ve been gone awhile.”
He doesn’t respond right away. He stands by my side, looking at the sky, and thinking. His hands slide on the door, closing it a little at a time. “Okay, I’ll see you there,” he says, slamming the door. He jogs over and slides in his car.
“HAYZE!” I yell, running after him. He begins to back up. “Stop!”
He leans against the window, pointing to his ear, he mouths ‘I can’t hear you.’ I throw my hands in the air and w
alk back to my car; “REAL MATURE, HAYZE!”
My cell service returns as I turn on the highway. I call Hayze and he declines. I try three other times with the same result. Fine, if he wants to spend the night together, we will talk and I’ll drag everything out of him.
Hazed Page 26