by A. M. Brooks
“What?” I said, reeling back.
“Leave, Sutton,” he said, turning his back effectively dismissing me. My head was spinning, and shame etched into my heart. I looked once at Lily who offered me a mouthed apology. Ethan wouldn’t look at me, his eyes were focused on Darrian who was now sitting in a chair with Mikayla perched on his knee. I turned before the tears tracked down my face and forced myself to walk out of the cafeteria.
In a day and a half, the dream of a perfect school year flew out the window. The minute I stepped back into the hallways, the sob I had held in place rolled out of my body and the flood of tears came. Darrian’s cold face and words played over in my head as I ducked into the bathroom and closed myself into a stall. Sinking to the floor, I let the grief and tension leave my body. The past weeks with Darrian were the happiest I had been in a long time. I opened up to him and thought he had been real with me. I had accepted strangers into my life hoping this was the real deal, real friends, finally a real home again. The fact that Darrian basically told everyone we slept together and that I wasn’t good enough, hurt the most. Names and being ignored, I was used to. Not having friends, I was used to. The pain that came from him talking about me in front of the whole cafeteria that way was a brutal blow to the insecurities lying under my skin. Skin that appeared thicker than it was. Like an idiot, I was starting to believe he cared for me. Like a stupid idiot, I had been falling for him.
I waited until after the final bell before standing up and washing my face off over the sink. Red blotches decorated my face which always happens when I cry. I met my own teary gaze in the mirror above the sinks. The mascara I had so carefully applied this morning now stained the skin of my cheeks.
“He told you he didn’t do the girlfriend-boyfriend thing,” I said out loud, hoping it would sink in. I shook my head at my reflection angry and very confused. My dad can’t use his name to climb the social ladder? Nothing made sense. “Fuck this,” I told myself. My first day at my twelfth school and I was ditching out early. I promised myself I’d start over tomorrow and things would get better...eventually.
Any hopes I had of things getting better went right down the drain. The next day after the humiliating encounter I had with Darrian, my locker was spray painted. Red angry letters spelled "Slutton" across the whole door. I held my tears until lunch when a girl I didn't know accidentally spilled chocolate milk on my crotch and boys I didn’t know were asking me for favors in the bathroom. Darrian's cool gaze had met mine from across the room. In that moment, I realized I never stood a chance. Things were about to get worse.
After that day I kept my head down. Not that it mattered as wadded paper balls continuously hit me. I was often the punchline in a crude joke. “Slutton” was my new nickname and apparently, I had a very busy summer servicing half the football team. I attempted to attend one party with a girl in my Spanish class which turned out to be a huge mistake as I was paraded in front of Darrian then forcefully removed by a couple of freshman football players. I actually prayed to come home and find the home up for sale. I had asked my dad if he said anything about Darrian being at our house to anyone. He said he didn’t and only asked because he was worried about me. According to him, it was common knowledge that Darrian was rumored to be a player, as my dad called it. Guess he had a right to be worried. I took solace in the fact that my grades were the best they've ever been. Then there was Lily.
Out of everyone, I hadn't thought it would be Lily to stick with me. Not because we hadn’t been friends but because I was worried about Taylor’s influence. I should have known though that Lily was her own person. We met every Wednesday and Friday for coffee before school. The rest of the week our schedules conflicted. At lunch, she sat by me ignoring the animosity from Taylor. I was thankful for her and her friendship. A week after my public humiliation she sat down across from me at lunch.
"He's fucking stupid," she had said. For the first time in days, a smile had played across my lips.
"I just don't understand," I told her, shrugging my shoulders and trying not to cry again. I felt like that was all I did lately. I was a weepy water fountain of tears.
"It's stupid. He thinks you told your dad that you two were dating."
"What?!" I said, totally caught off guard. I had run those last few days in my head a million times and nothing had made sense. "My dad asked who drove me home and I said Darrian," I explained to her hoping she believed me. "I never said we were dating. I wouldn't do that," I pushed my lunch tray away having completely lost my appetite.
"I believe you," she said, nodding her head. "He's being an idiot."
"Ethan and Hannah were there, why doesn't he ask them?"
"I guess Ethan said he didn't hear anything and was chewed out about how serious the King name was and that they could be taken advantage of."
"What about Hannah, she was there," I pointed out.
Lily gave me a disgusted look. "She's claiming she was outside when the incident happened." I felt sick to my stomach. I thought Hannah and I had been friends.
"I can't believe it," I said quietly, looking down at my lap. Every day I felt this place was more and more fucked up.
About halfway through October, I was believing things were coming to an end. The new coat of paint on my locker hadn't been re-vandalized, yet I was still addressed as “Slutton” by half the upperclassmen. Slowly a few others started to talk with us once they were sure there wouldn’t be retaliation from Darrian. Thankfully, it seemed he never paid attention to me or who I was friends with. Nothing had been said about Lily and I was pretty sure Cody had seen us one morning. This should make me feel better, yet I couldn’t help but feel I should keep my guard up. I was waiting again for the other shoe to drop, or worse...to have pig’s blood poured on me like Carrie.
Which is why I was surprised and skeptical when a model tall and thin girl sat down at the table with Lily and me at lunch a week before Halloween.
“Hi,” she said, setting her backpack on the table and pulling out a sandwich and a Coke. I paused with my food halfway to my mouth, quickly looking around for signs of a prank.
“Relax,” she said laughing. “I’m Olivia, and I am a fan of anyone who feels about the Kings like I do.” She sent me a wink. I felt my lungs pull in air again.
“You’re student president for our grade, aren’t you?” Lily asked. She had totally relaxed with this new person sitting with us. I was still shifting my eyes around to see who was paying attention.
“Yup,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Worst idea I ever had.”
“Yet you’re running again?” Lily asked, smirking and pointed at the neon colored sign behind us.
“Didn’t say I was smart,” Olivia said, shaking her head. I studied her through my eyelashes while I pretended I wasn’t having the most fun I’d had in almost a month. Her hair was longer than mine, a light brown with highlights from the sun. Her frame was willowy, her face that wholesome adorableness with a slight spray of freckles on her nose. She also wore a trendy pair of thick, black-framed glasses that made her light blue eyes look bigger. Olivia didn’t come off as intimidating.
“Well, we could use some better pizza,” I joked, holding up the cardboard piece in my hand, wiggling it back and forth. We all laughed.
“Oh.” Olivia half raised out of her seat flagging someone over. “Trent!” she yelled to a blonde guy walking by. He stopped before turning back to our table and sat next to Olivia across from me. He was good looking in that golden boy way. His hair was light and cut in a short style. His eyes were a dark brown framed by some of the longest eyelashes I had ever seen. Like most of the student body at South Crest, he was tan and looked like he might be an athlete.
“Hey,” he said, taking a drink of his water. “That was the longest line I’ve waited in today.”
“It’s okay,” Olivia said. “These are my new friends Lily and Nora,” she said, gesturing to us.
“‘Sup ladies,” he said before shoveling food in his
mouth. Lily laughed, and I smiled. These two were a breath of fresh air after being a recluse this past month.
“I think we have English together,” Lily said to him.
“I believe so, and I’m pretty sure you’re in my gym class,” Trent pointed at me. I felt my face blush. Gym was not my strongest subject and had been extra horrible since the class was combined with some seniors. Taylor and her friends never missed a chance to make the hour miserable. I learned quickly to have an extra pair of gym clothes stuffed in my backpack after finding mine left under a running shower one day. I did remember Trent though and I nodded.
“Ready for that mile run next week?” he asked, focused on me.
“I only run for doughnuts,” I said, taking another bite of the pizza.
He laughed. “I’ll place a container at the end of the trail then.”
“Then I’ll run the mile at top record speed,” I told him, feeling cheeky. It was so good to joke with other people. Lily had been great through this whole mess, but it felt good that others were starting to get to know me.
“I’m joining that gym class then,” Olivia joked with us.
“Amen sister,” Lily joined in. Trent and I laughed harder.
“Well,” he said, pulling on his dark blue T-shirt before looking at the watch on his wrist. “Speaking of, we should probably head over there.” We got up and dumped our trays, waving at Lily and Olivia as they headed in the opposite direction.
For once I didn’t feel isolated walking to the gymnasium complex. Trent had me laughing the whole way there and I felt as if I had already done my crunches quota for the day. Like elementary students, we played a game of Medic and of course I took the brunt on the hits. Trent saved me from as many as he could, but he was also the most athletic on our team, so no one wanted him to get hit.
“Let me guess,” I said, pretending to be thinking. “You play football?” I asked.
“Ha! No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not really an athlete guy. I do race bikes at the track though.”
“What track?” I asked him genuinely interested.
“The race track downtown,” he answered.
“Haven’t seen it,” I told him. “I’m new-ish and haven’t been to many places.”
“Oh,” he said. “Well, I race on Sunday. Olivia usually goes. You should come with.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly.
“Don’t worry,” he nodded toward Taylor and her posse. “Girls like that never show up.” Relief swept through me. I nodded again, happy to have plans instead of rearranging all the furniture in the house or getting a jump start on the week’s homework.
Trent and Olivia sat with us the rest of the week at lunch. We laughed at the daily Jell-O flavor and talked about the horrible algebra quiz awaiting us on Monday. Saturday, I ended up hanging out with Lily and Olivia at the Araminta Zoo. They talked up the killer whale and told me I hadn’t lived until I saw the show. On Sunday I rode with Olivia to Trent’s race. The track was huge, and the fans were crazy. A whole level of craziness higher than the football fans that poured into the stands on Friday nights. Everyone was more relaxed, getting drunk off six dollar cups of Busch, discussing tattoo designs, and not wearing the latest fashion trends. The best part of the track though was the music. I considered myself versatile when it came to music and I had really dug the rock vibes during Saving Able’s “Addicted” and Hollywood Undead’s “Black Dahlia.” Mostly because the words resonated in me and drowned out the thoughts in my head. True to his word, the crowd was not full of Taylors and Mikaylas.
“Thanks for bringin’ me luck, ladies,” Trent said, hugging us both after his race. Dirt covered his bright yellow shirt with the energy drink logo. His sweaty hair was pushed back from the helmet he had worn.
“You rocked it,” Olivia said, giving him a small punch in the arm.
“That was amazing,” I agreed, smiling at him. When Trent smiled back at me, my stomach did a small swoop. He was hot and very much the opposite of Darrian King.
“Food?” he asked, looking back and forth between us.
“Not me,” Olivia said, grabbing her keys. “There is a little thing called school tomorrow and I require at least seven hours of sleep to function.”
I laughed.
“Fine,” he said. “Sutton? Are you standing me up too?” Trent had turned to me. I felt myself weakening in those chocolaty eyes.
“Why not,” I told him. It’s not like I had a curfew.
“Yes!” he shouted before giving Olivia a goodbye hug. “I’m going to go change, I’ll meet you out front?”
“Okay,” I told him before moving into the crowd toward the front of the stadium.
“Oops, sorry,” I muttered as I was pushed into the person next to me. Lifting my head, I noticed I had run right into Jake Nelson, one of the guys who had been nice to me before the big showdown. He looked down at me as he steadied me. I said a quick prayer he wouldn’t say anything to me as I quickly walked faster breaking through the crowd. I felt his eyes on my retreating form, but he never caught up to me.
I waited a good fifteen minutes for Trent out front. People kept pouring out of the stadium. Loud engine trucks roared from the parking lot before speeding by. I felt like I was being watched and pinched my arms a couple of times to keep myself aware. I kept my eyes focused on the doors waiting for Trent and hoping that Jake had already left. I didn’t want him to say anything that would ruin this night with my new friends. Deep in my own thoughts, I jumped when an arm wrapped around my shoulders.
“Whoa.” Trent’s deep laugh rumbled next to my ear. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I told him, pushing the hair out of my eyes. “Sorry, wasn’t paying attention.” I cracked a small smile.
“No problem.” He led me away from the building not moving his arm from around me, “So how do you feel about late night breakfast?”
“I’m a huge fan of breakfast,” I answered.
“Perfect.” He opened his car door for me. “I think you may be my soul mate, Ms. Sutton. Breakfast is the most important part of the day.” He closed the door before rounding to his side. I looked up as we pulled away right into Jake’s gaze. He had been watching me. I noticed the glow of a cell phone next to his head. Jake watched until we rounded the first corner to leave the lot. Trent’s voice faded in my head as my heart sped up. Why was he watching me? Who was he talking to? What’s going to happen tomorrow? The questions were endless. That pit in my stomach grew back with a vengeance.
Monday started out uneventfully. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting but seeing Jake watching me last night had me feeling on edge. The next day I told Lily who, I’m assuming, told Olivia because both girls didn’t leave my side all day. I didn’t mention it to Trent. He never brought up my public humiliation and therefore I didn’t talk to him about what happened with Darrian. Guys never seemed to want to know about drama. I thought back to when I first arrived that I didn’t want drama either, yet somehow ended up in the middle of it. To keep my mind occupied I tried to pay extra close attention to what was happening around Araminta for Halloween. Every day more and more yard decorations went up around my neighborhood.
“It’s a big deal,” Olivia told me at lunch. “It’s pretty much an excuse to party and wear slutty costumes.”
“It’s also on a Saturday this year,” Lily said, pointing her fork at me.
“I heard Elijah and Ethan are throwing the party at their mansion this year,” Trent said.
“Mmm,” I mumbled trying not to seem interested in that information. Lies, but hey, I was going to be okay eventually.
“I’m sure,” Lily said.
“I can’t go anyway,” Olivia offered. “I’m working at the movie theater for the scary movie marathon night. You guys should check it out.”
“Sure,” I offered. Anything beat sitting at home by myself.
“Sounds good,” Trent replied. Peace resumed at our table for the rest of lunch.
“
Gotta get to gym, Nora,” Trent said, pulling me up from where I sat in the grass. He grabbed my tray and dumped them both before we headed off.
After getting my butt kicked in flag football, I changed quickly and was going to wait for Trent. After seven minutes, I decided I must have missed him and now I only had three minutes to get back to the other side of campus for class. A painful hour of History later I trudged my way to algebra wishing the whole way that math would die altogether.
“Sutton!” Trent yelled, stopping me in the hallway.
“What happened to you?” I asked him.
“Oh sorry, Mr. Porter asked me to help bring the flags back to the practice field,” he said when he caught up to me.
“It’s okay,” I shrugged. “I was just worried I missed you.”
“Nope,” he said. “Hey, I was wondering, want to go to Ethan’s Halloween party with me?”
“What?” I asked, stopping suddenly.
“Yeah he said I could invite whoever I wanted,” Trent replied. I noticed a slight flush was creeping across his cheeks.
“Um, I didn’t realize you guys were friends I guess,” I said, starting to walk again, focusing on my feet.
“Not really,” Trent said laughing. “He was helping with the flags and invited me. I think they want a large crowd.”
“Oh.” I looked at Trent, he seemed almost nervous to be asking me. “I’m not actually a huge party person. I was looking forward to the scary movie-thon. Do you want to go with me?”