I thought each day would get easier, but it didn’t. A part of me was gone—a part that may never come back.
Each day when I went to work—went out in public—I tried to put a smile on my face. Inside, I was breaking. It was time for Nicole to come home. I was done with the bullshit. Brooke went to check on her, but she wouldn’t tell me what happened. The only thing she told me was that she was doing better.
What was that supposed to tell me? That each day was getting closer to Nicole being with me again? I was tired of fighting with myself to give Nicole what she wanted.
And then I got a text back from Nicole.
Nicole: I love you more!
That was the first text she’d sent me since she told me she needed time. I wanted to call her. I wanted to go to her. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I texted back.
Me: You do?
Nicole: Yes.
Me: Does this mean you’re coming home?
I waited for a return text from Nicole, but it never came. I never doubted if she loved me or not. She told me she did, but since I didn’t get a return text from her, the ball was still in her court.
As I worked the happy hour crowd, my phone in my pocket felt like it was burning a hole through my jeans. I kept wanting to take it out, see if Nicole had texted again, but I refrained. I couldn’t get my hopes up.
She didn’t text again.
Maybe it was a spur of the moment. Lapse in judgment on her part. A mistake.
When I left Halo, I drove to The Crawford’s for our weekly family dinner. I was going to get answers from Brooke. If I had to steal her phone to call Nicole, I would. I was tired of playing this game—this texting game.
When I pulled up to Jimmy and Jane’s, it was only the two of them in the house. Easton, Brooke and Cheyenne were still on their way.
“Av, honey, help me form these patties,” Jane said as soon as I walked in the front door.
“Do you really need my help or you want to give me motherly advice,” I asked, laughing as I walked into the kitchen to the left of the front door.
“Well, I need your help because I had them already made and then I saw you pull up and I needed an excuse.” She laughed.
“You never need an excuse, Ma,” I said, washing my hands.
“Well, tell me. How are you doing?”
“It’s been tough,” I said, rolling a chunk of ground beef into a ball.
“I bet. You know, I lost a baby before Easton,” Jane said, giving me a sad smile.
“You did?” I stopped rolling the meat in my hands.
“Easton doesn’t know, but I did. I wasn’t as far along as Nicole was, but it still happened. Tore me up for a few weeks.”
“Did you leave Dad?”
“No,” she shook her head, “I didn’t, but I can see how Nicole thinks that’s the only solution.”
“But it’s not,” I said, flattening out the meatball to make a patty.
“When you lose a baby, even if you’ve never met it, even if it hasn’t fully grown, it’s like you’ve lost a part of you. You go into a deep depression.”
“I get it. I was depressed, too. I still am.”
“You will be for a while. She’ll probably be longer than you.”
“What if she doesn’t come back?”
“She will. She loves you. I can tell.”
“I know she loves me, but she thinks she’s not strong enough for me and I don’t want her anymore because she lost our baby.”
“Give it time.”
And those were the words I was tired of hearing.
“Yeah, time…”
“She’ll come back when you least expect it.”
“I hope so because I only have one thing to say to her.”
“What’s that?”
Before I could respond, Easton, Brooke and Cheyenne came in through the front doors. I turned and met the eyes of Cheyenne.
“Uncle A, where’s Nicole?” she asked.
Easton gave me a tight smile, apologizing for Cheyenne. I shook my head that it was okay.
“She’s in Boston, C.C.”
“Why?”
“She’s with her parents,” I said, washing my hands of the hamburger meat.
“Why?”
“Peanut, that’s enough,” Easton said.
“Why?” she asked, looking at Easton. “I don’t get why I can’t know where my favorite aunt is.”
Aunt…
All eyes turned to me and I took a deep breath. “C.C., Nicole and I broke up.”
“Why?” she asked, looking around the room.
Cheyenne was a big part of my life. She was bound to find out eventually.
“Come sit down. I have some bad news.”
“Av—” Easton said.
“It’s okay.” I turned to Cheyenne as she sat next to me at the kitchen table. “Remember how we told you that you were getting a cousin?”
“Yeah.” Cheyenne smiled, leaning on the table with her head in her hand.
“Sometimes we can be wrong. I’m not going to be a…”
I had to stop, a lump forming in my throat. Easton shot me a look. He knew he had to finish for me. Sorry, man. I thought I could tell her.
“Peanut, remember when Mommy died?”
“Nicole died?” Cheyenne whispered.
“No, Peanut. But remember how she’s an angel now?” Easton asked.
Cheyenne turned to face me. “I don’t get it. How can Nicole be an angel if she’s not dead?”
“Not Nicole, C.C. Our baby.”
She paused, staring into my eyes. I felt like she was looking into my soul, searching for answers I didn’t have.
“Your baby died?”
“Yeah.” I choked out, trying not to cry.
“I’m sorry, Uncle A,” she said, standing and wrapping her arms around my neck. After a few seconds she pulled back. “But why did you and Nicole break up?”
“It’s been a tough time, C.C. She needed to get away.”
“But she’ll be back?”
“She will,” Brooke chimed in.
I looked up at Brooke, tilting my head slightly. “She will?” I mouthed.
Brooke nodded.
“Good because I really like her,” Cheyenne said. “What’s for dinner, Grandma?”
The Day I Planned to Get Avery Back
My morning started off with the usual text from Avery, but this time I responded.
Avery: I love you!
Me: I love you more!
That was the first time I’d texted him since I’d told him I needed time to think five days ago. While I wanted to respond to his texts before, I couldn’t. I couldn’t give him hope until I knew for sure what I wanted. And you know what? I wanted him. I was prepared to beg. I mean, that’s what you need to do when you leave the one you love and want him back, right?
I was finally starting to listen to what my parents and Brooke kept telling me. I realized that even though my heart was breaking, Avery was the only one who could put it back together.
After Brooke had left my parents’ to visit her sister, who had moved back to Boston after college, I took a much-needed shower. For some reason, showers open up my mind; I was able to clearly think as the warm water fell down my body. As I stood under the spray of water, remembering all the words that were said in the past two weeks, I realized that Avery had the heart that any woman would die for.
He was sexy, smart, caring, lovable, funny, romantic…and he loved me. He fucking loved me and I walked out on him. I didn’t want him to be with anyone else and I didn’t want to be with anyone else either. He was mine and I was his and if I had to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness, I totally would.
He was a good man; a good man for me. I knew for certain that I would never find another man like him. He was what I’d been looking for. I wanted to call him and tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to tell him that I was a fool and I needed him to help me put my heart back together again. I wanted
to tell him that I’d do anything for him—but it had to be in person. He deserved for it to be in person.
Stepping out of the shower, I dried off, got dressed and grabbed my phone to see if he texted back. He did.
Avery: You do?
I smiled and texted back.
Me: Yes.
A few seconds later he replied.
Avery: Does this mean you’re coming home?
I wasn’t sure why I’d texted him back in the first place. I wanted to do everything in purpose and when he asked if I was coming home, I couldn’t answer him. I was, but I couldn’t tell him.
I went into the living room to see if I’d forgotten anything that I needed to pack.
“Nic, sit,” my dad said, motioning to the couch next to his favorite reclining chair. I stared at him for a beat and then did as he said. “Did your mother and I ever tell you about how she’d once left me?”
“What?” I asked, surprised.
“Of course, it was under different circumstances, but the point I’m trying to make is that people make mistakes. I know you’re worried that Avery won’t take you back, but I know he will. When your mother left me before we were married, I was devastated. I screwed up, but she forgave me. Usually it’s the guy who messes up in a relationship, but given your circumstances, Avery will understand.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Then you fight. You fight for what you want.” I gave a tight smile. “When I met Avery, I could tell he loved you. He’d do anything for you and while I’m surprised he hasn’t beaten down my front door, I get it. His heart and ego are bruised. It may take him a few days to come around, but he will.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said, sighing.
“I know I am.”
“How can you know that?” I laughed, sarcastically.
“Because if he breaks your heart, I’ll kill him.”
I laughed again. “Well, I’m the heartbreaker.”
“You need to be honest with him, baby girl.”
“I will be.” I smiled.
“Well, go get that boy back. I hate seeing you sad.”
“I know. I will. I love you, Daddy.” I stood and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I love you too.”
I packed up all my clothes that I’d taken when I left New York, loaded my car, and headed back home. If Avery didn’t take me back, then Brooke and Easton were going to have to make room for me because I wasn’t leaving New York again. I was going to fight for Avery.
I knew I’d broken his heart—I’d broken mine too. But I had to pick up the pieces, and if I had to hand Avery the bottle of glue, I would. He was the answer to putting my heart back together. I loved him with every fiber of my being. He was the one, my one.
The closer I got to New York, the more nervous I became. I’d never begged a guy to take me back. No one had ever been worthy enough to fight for—until Avery. I realized that I’d do anything for him.
We were happy before we knew I was pregnant. We’d fallen in love before we knew I was pregnant. He’d asked me to move in with him before we knew I was pregnant. How could I be so blind? The baby wasn’t the tie to us being together—we were.
He was always the one.
I pulled into our driveway. Usually Avery parked in the garage, but as I opened the door, his truck wasn’t there. Remembering that it was family dinner night, I decided to wait for him inside.
I wanted to drive to Jimmy and Jane’s, but I wasn’t prepared for rejection in front of an audience.
I walked into our townhouse, using the key I still had. All the lights were off and it felt like he hadn’t run the heater since I’d left. Maybe he was like me and everything felt numb; it didn’t matter what the temperature felt like because I couldn’t feel it.
It was time to change. Avery and I needed to live again.
Turning on lights as I walked through the townhouse, I made my way to the thermostat, turned it on, and then lit candles throughout the living room. I turned on the gas fireplace and waited. I’d wait all night if I had to. I wasn’t leaving again.
I heard the key in the lock, waking me from my sleep on the couch. My heart started to thump in my chest. He opened the door, my eyes meeting his and he slowly closed the door behind him.
It had been five days since I’d seen his face, since I’d heard his voice, smelled his skin, tasted his kisses. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should run to him, wrap my arms around him and never let go, or wait for him to make the first move.
Our eyes stayed locked, both of us not saying a word. He didn’t move. I didn’t move. My feet were planted on the floor in front of the couch.
I couldn’t move.
When Brooke told me that Nicole was coming home, I didn’t know she’d meant tonight.
I left dinner, driving home slowly. What was the point? My house was empty and cold and I didn’t want to be in it without Nicole. I wanted to call her and ask her when she was coming home. I wanted answers. I’d been wanting answers for five days—five fucking long ass days.
The moment I turned down the road that led to my townhouse in my complex, I saw her car sitting in the driveway. My eyes got big and I pressed my foot down on the gas, speeding up. Once I reached my driveway, I threw my truck into park and ran to the front door. I needed to see her and I couldn’t wait a second more.
I tried the door handle, but it was locked, so using my key, I slipped it in the door and walked in. Heat engulfed my body. The warmth felt nice across my skin, and the smell of vanilla instantly hit my nose. I smiled.
She was home.
When I fully stepped through the threshold, I saw her rise from the couch and stand, our eyes locking. I couldn’t speak. I felt like she knew everything already. I begged and pleaded for her to come back home the day she’d left me. I wanted to know why she thought she had to go to that extreme. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but I knew it was only a few seconds. Finally, she took a deep breath.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hi.”
“I came to talk.”
“Okay,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, my body instantly going into a defensive mode. My heart had been crushed and I wasn’t sure if it could handle it being stomped on again.
“I got your texts,” she said, giving a tight smile.
“I got your four,” I said dryly.
“I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes, not responding. I heard her take a deep breath, and my eyes opened again to meet hers. “The day I left, I was broken. I’m still broken, but I realized something.”
“What’s that?”
“That life isn’t rainbows and unicorns.”
“You think?” I rolled my eyes.
“I know. Everything was perfect and I thought we were perfect, but the moment the doctor told us that we lost our baby…well, it felt like my perfect life had ended.”
She looked up at the ceiling, her eyes watery with tears. I wanted to rush to her and wrap her in my arms. I wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, but I couldn’t move. I needed to hear her reasoning.
“I understand we’re going to have bumps in the road,” she continued. “I didn’t want to believe it at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I missed you. I missed your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your voice. I missed the way you’d hold me, kiss me. The way you’d want me even when I had bed hair and bad breath. But what I missed most of all was your love. I missed the way you loved me, and if I have to beg for you to forgive me for leaving, I will. I’ll drop to my knees right now. I love you and I want to be with you.”
I started to move, slowly getting closer to her with each step. The more I stared at her, the more my body overtook my brain. My body wanted Nicole, but my brain was telling me to continue guarding my heart.
“At first, I thought that our baby was what was keeping us together, but then I realized that we were in love before we knew I
was pregnant. I can’t explain what I was thinking when I left, but I can honestly tell you that I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that you could find someone better than me and maybe you still could, but if some other chick wants you, I’ll punch her. I won’t hesitate.”
She paused. “Can you please say something? Tell me how I can fix this. Tell me what I need to do because I’ll do anything.”
“Will you marry me?” I asked, dropping to one knee as soon as she stopped talking. I didn’t have a ring, but I figured I should at least drop to my knee and ask her properly.
“What?” She blinked, looking down on me.
“Marry me.”
“Marry you?”
“Yeah. You. Me. Vegas.”
“Okay.” She grinned.
“Okay?” I asked, making sure I heard her correctly.
“Yes.”
“Promise?” I smiled.
“Promise.” She smiled back. And then …
She bit her lip.
Avery & Nicole’s story will continue in My One due to release in 2019.
But first, keep reading for a sneak peek of the conclusion of Brooke & Easton’s story in Never Stop, out now!
Dear Readers,
I hope you’ve enjoyed The One. Because I hold a special place for this series in my heart and it’s inspired on actual events of my life, I’m uncertain of when the next books in the series will be released, but please subscribe to either my blog, newsletter or both to stay up-to-date so you won’t miss the release info.
You can find the links on my website at www.authorkimberlyknight.com.
You can also follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/AuthorKKnight.
Thank you again, and I hope these two have captured a place in your heart! You can really help me out a lot by leaving a review where you bought the book as well as Goodreads and Bookbub. Your love and support means everything to me and I cherish you all!
The Halo Series Boxed Set Page 47