“Heaven above us, I cannot... I cannot stop, Ava,” Nicholas murmured.
Far from frightening her with his need, Ava laughed with pleasure, wrapping her arms around him. If he pulled away from her now, she thought that she would never be able to stand it.
“Don't stop, never stop,” she murmured tenderly, and then with a groan, he was thrusting into her.
When he had been with her like this before, there was always some element of control in Nicholas's motions. There was always something in him that told her he would draw back. Now she knew that control was gone.
He was a wild thing, kissing her, thrusting into her, crying her name. Ava knew that there would be bruises on her body after he was done, and she didn't care. All that mattered was that Nicholas was touching her, needing her, and that pulled the web of desire tight around her.
Ava felt her body yearning for his, for his pleasure as well as her own. She dug her heels into the pallet underneath them, pushing up even as he thrust down. It let him enter her even deeper. So deep she almost thought they had become one being, united in their twin needs for pleasure.
Her climax blindsided her, exploding through her body and throwing her high into the air. She felt as if she had never experienced this much sensation before. All that was real was her pleasure. The only other person in the world was Nicholas. When he grabbed on to her tightly, when he cried her name, she knew it was the same for him.
“Ava, oh, Ava, my love...”
She clung to him. The words were in her mouth as well, but she bit her lips until she tasted blood. She couldn't. She wouldn't.
Instead, she let the power of their climaxes mix together, drawing them both higher until they finally collapsed, utterly spent, onto the blankets below them. Nicholas started to pull away, but she clung to him.
“No. Not yet,” she whispered.
Nicholas murmured something, and then to her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her so that they rested on their sides, their bodies still so intimately joined.
Ava let her eyes close. She could hear the crackling of the fire and Nicholas's heartbeat. She could smell the pines around them, and the scent of her skin mixed with Nicholas's. This pleasure could not last forever, but right now, she refused to do anything to make it stop.
Nicholas kissed her face gently. He was as sweet as rain and powerful as thunder.
I love him, she thought drowsily. Heaven above us, I love him so.
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chapter 36
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Nicholas was disoriented when he awoke. He was alone, and it was still dark. Before he even knew what had awakened him, he was reaching for Ava. Finding her missing woke him up fully. He could taste a cold and metallic fear at the back of his throat, but then her shadow passed in front of him as the fire flared up.
“Go back to sleep,” she murmured. “I only wanted to stoke the fire a little.”
“I'll go back to sleep when you come back here,” Nicholas murmured, watching her pale and naked form in the firelight.
Ava laughed a little as she came back to him. He tugged her against his body and tucked the covers more securely around them. The nights were still cold and creating as little space between them and the blankets as possible was the best way to ensure that they did not freeze. That was going to be his excuse anyway, if she asked him.
“I like it when you laugh,” he murmured, kissing her temple.
“You sound like a drunk sometimes when you're like this, did you know that?” she said, snuggling up close to him.
“Such a cruel tongue you have on you. Why don't you put it to some better use?”
She opened her mouth again, and Nicholas leaned in to kiss her. She tasted good to him. She tasted like home. When she pulled his tongue into her mouth to suckle on it gently, Nicholas could feel himself grow aroused again.
“Careful,” he growled. “Do not start anything that you may not want to finish.”
“I never do,” she said. It was dark, but Nicholas knew that if he looked into her eyes just then, he would find them dancing.
He started to say something, but then he gasped as her hand snaked down between them. Her fingers closed around his manhood with just enough pressure to make him press against her. Ava laughed, and he could hear a ragged note in her voice as well.
“I will never, ever get tired of hearing you make that sound,” she whispered, something almost awed in her voice.
In the stillness that suddenly rose up between them, Nicholas knew in his heart a part of him would always belong to this brave and wild girl. He could travel to the ends of the earth. He could marry another woman and have a dozen children. He could join a monastery and never look on a woman again for all of his days on the earth.
It didn't matter.
No matter who he was or what he did, he would always have her smile kept secret and safe in his heart. In the darkness of the night and the brightness of the morning, he would hear her laugh.
Nicholas knew that Ava could sense it, too. Her laugh stilled, and her hand came to rest on his hip.
“What is it?” she asked.
He could hear the tenderness and concern in her voice. It reminded him of how young she truly was. His heart ached for her.
“Nothing.”
If he told her what he was feeling and thinking right now, he thought she might run into the forest and never look back.
Instead, Nicholas reached for her, clasping his hands around her hips.
“What are you—?”
Her words ended in a yelp as he heaved her up to sprawl over him. She felt as warm as a summer day draped over his chest, her legs sprawled to either side of his hips. The blanket had fallen to the wayside, and now Nicholas picked it up, wrapping it around her shoulders again.
“You'll like this,” Nicholas promised.
She started to ask him what, but then he nudged up between her legs, taking a deep breath of pleasure as they pressed against one another.
“I think you might be right,” Ava breathed, and she braced herself to take advantage of their new position.
Nicholas knew that tomorrow was coming. He had faced thousands of terrible dawns as a soldier, as a prisoner, and as a man whose family had disappeared. He had never flinched and met each day with a steady gaze.
Now, though, all he wanted was for the night ahead of them to last forever. When dawn came, it would bring with it all the threat and all the sorrow they held between them. The night, however, was theirs, and if Nicholas could have frozen it in place forever, he would have.
Let us have this, he thought as she slowly, oh, so slowly, sank down on his body. I have never needed anything like I need her. I have wanted nothing as much as I want her now...
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chapter 37
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“So... have we decided where we are going, or are we just going to walk until Cobie gives us up for a bad job and runs away to join a farm somewhere?”
Ava laughed.
“Cobie would never do that. He's far too faithful. And I'm not sure what this we is about. You don't know enough about the Highlands to have a say in where we are going.”
“Ah, so you may be leading me to Robert the Bruce's war camp and leaving me there. Good to know.”
Ava glanced at Nicholas, walking on the other side of Cobie's head. When she looked at him, she felt a deep warmth go through her. She might have thought that it had something to do with their long night in each other's arms and the late start they had managed today, but she knew that wasn't all it was.
“We're going to the MacTaggarts’ holding,” she offered. “I spent some small amount of time fostered there, and the laird is a friend of mine. They foster children regularly.”
“You're still helping me?”
“There's no reason to stop, is there?”
Nicholas paused, and sh
e imagined him picking his words carefully, like a man pulling burrs out of a sheepskin.
“You were going to go north to Caradoc lands, you said. You wanted to find your men and see if you could convince them to spend this summer raiding instead of warring.”
“Things change.”
Ava did not say that perhaps she had changed. Her father's pronouncement changed things for her. Something in her had shifted. She knew with a fiery certainty that she did not want to be Roark's wife. She didn't want to be a crofter's woman, the same cottage day in and day out, the same neighbors and the only excitement the odd fair.
Better the excitement of the fair than of war marching to your doorstep.
She thought the matter closed, but when they stopped to water Cobie at a stream close to the road, Nicholas spoke again.
“You should do whatever you want to do, Ava.”
She smiled a little, sprawling on the grass and watching him. Heaven above, but he was a handsome man.
“Thank you. I didn't know that I was waiting on your permission.”
He gave her a frustrated look that melted into a wry smile.
“That is how it sounded, wasn't it? Being with your family taught me something.”
“That they are all terrible people and now you know why I turned into the monster that I am?”
“Ava, you are not a monster, stop speaking like that of yourself. No. It taught me that there are probably thousands of things I don't want you doing.”
“Really? Thousands?”
“At least. I don't want you to risk your neck on cattle raids. I don't want you to go roaming recklessly into the mountains. I don't want you escaping death by a hair's breadth what feels like every day. I mean, I am happier that you do, rather than not escaping, but I would prefer if it wasn't a question at all.”
“I see. You think that I would be happier as the wife of the laird, giving legitimacy to a man who I think of as a brother.”
Ava didn't bother keeping the bitterness out of her voice. She climbed to her feet, reaching for Cobie's reins. If they started walking, perhaps she could work out some of the anger simmering within her.
“No. I think that if you did that, there would be a part of me that was tempted to murder your cousin Roark.”
She stared at Nicholas. He was calm, but something in his voice told her it was the truth.
“Well, that's not unsettling.”
“It is, a little. But if it was something that you wanted to do, I would defend your right to do it. That was what was getting under my skin. They spoke as if they could dictate your own life to you. Perhaps they could if you were another woman, someone who had always looked to her family to guide her. But you haven't had that luxury.”
“No, I was a rebellious wild little—”
Nicholas reached for her hand, taking it in a warm grip that was still firm enough to make her go silent. For some reason, she found herself a little afraid of what Nicholas wanted to say next. She wasn't afraid of swords or storm, but somehow, when Nicholas looked at her like that, it made her heart beat faster and her throat tighten.
“I suppose I should wonder if you are what you are because of fate or because of what your family offered you as you grew up. It's a good question, but I find that in the end, it does not matter to me at all.”
“What does matter to you, Nicholas?”
He smiled briefly.
“The way you say my name. The way that sometimes you are afraid, but you are willing to do a thing anyway. How the light hits your eyes. How you smile at me and how you can storm at me. You. You're important.”
“Nicholas...”
Her voice was as soft as a sigh. She didn't know what to make of this side of him. All she could do was gaze at him as if he had hypnotized her.
“You are important to me, Ava. And your family does not deserve you. There are a thousand things that I don't want you to do, but at the bottom of it? What I want you to do most is what you want. I want you to have the life that you want, with the person you want to have it with. And I will defend your right to do as you please from anyone who might try to contest it.”
“You really mean that.”
Nicholas nodded. She imagined he had been as steady and steadfast as he was when he swore his loyalty to the knightly code.
In the end, it was Ava who looked away first. She could feel Nicholas's words making something in her open up. It was a strange feeling, as if together, they had discovered a part of her that she'd never known existed before. This part felt new and strange and vulnerable, and she wasn't ready to look at it more closely yet.
“See if you keep saying that the next time I want to sleep late, or the first time I decide that someone doesn't deserve as fine a cow as the one they own...”
Nicholas's laugh was soft and pleased. She wasn't sure she had ever met someone who was inclined to be pleased with her or to laugh at her in that sweet way.
“I'm sure that will be a bridge that must be crossed someday. Right now, though... let us get to MacTaggart lands.”
They continued together, not speaking but not needing to. Ava felt as if something new and exciting and strange was opening up in front of her. She was standing at the edge of a precipice, and she had no idea if she was going to fall or if she was going to fly.
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chapter 38
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The MacTaggarts were a powerful clan, their territory full of high lush meadows and deep forests. Nicholas had heard of them more than once on his travels. He had never come so far north with Edward's army, but he had fought against the Scottish well enough to know the names of some their chieftains. The MacTaggart name was one associated with warriors and guerilla fighters, men who knew the land and would defend it with deadly determination.
Clan Blair was notorious for its disinterest in war between Scotland and England. Clan Blair was the opposite. Nicholas wondered what his welcome could possibly be when he showed up and started making demands.
Ava glanced at him with amusement when he mentioned this. They were riding double, her arms around his waist. Sometimes, when she was tired, she would tilt her forehead against his shoulder, something that always made Nicholas smile.
“There was a time when I think I would have said that your chances were practically abyssal. The moment you stepped foot onto MacTaggart lands, you would be caught and dragged up in front of the laird. If he was feeling particularly fair that day, he might have allowed you a chance to be ransomed back to the English.”
“And if he wasn't?”
“Well, the English have taken enough from him, and from his people. He might have decided that you were an opportunity to do some taking back. If he cannot get money from you, he might decide to try for blood or pain or fear.”
Nicholas had been a warrior long enough to understand that sentiment. The war between England and Scotland was savage far more often than it was fair, and though he might not want such a fate, he would have understood it.
“Is that what I have to look forward to?”
“Well, that was a while ago. The recent peace might have mellowed him. Or... well. I'm thinking that his wife might have done.”
Nicholas blinked.
“His wife has a great deal of love for the English?”
“More like his wife is half English. It was quite the story when they wed, and her with her belly sticking out. Laird MacTaggart is a man who knows what he's after, however, and he has a reputation for getting what he wants. After some words from him, everyone was polite about it.”
Nicholas imagined a warrior like some he had seen on the lines. Some of the Highlanders were descended from the Northern raiders who had, in ancient times, preyed upon England and Scotland alike. They were enormous men, bearded and fantastically scarred. They were like the giants out of legend, and they had been a deadly nightmare to the South.
“That poor girl.”
“Oh,
I think that poor girl knows what she's doing,” Ava said easily. “When last I called upon them, I thought she was keeping Aidan MacTaggart well in hand. She's the lady of Doone Castle now, and I have hopes that she will be willing to help you.”
“And you?”
“What about me?”
“You speak well of the MacTaggarts. You lived on their lands for some time, and the current laird seems to be kindly disposed to you. Will you stay with them?”
“I could, couldn't I? It might not be such a terrible idea, especially if I will not be raiding this summer.”
“You don't sound convinced.”
“No. I do not know what will become of me.”
The calm tone to Ava's words made Nicholas shiver.
He reached down and laid his hand over hers where it rested on his hip.
“What do you want to become of you?”
She was silent for so long he thought she would not answer him. They did not speak much of the future. Their concerns were more day to day, where they might camp, or what water was good enough to bathe in.
“I do not know what will become of me now,” she said. “But thank you.”
“For what?”
“For asking. I do not think anyone has asked me that for years.”
Not for the first time, Nicholas found himself wishing that he could go back in time and beat the adults in Ava's life who had allowed her to grow up so wistful and lonely for someone to care for her.
“I will ask until you give me an answer you like,” he said firmly, and he relished the sound of her soft laugh.
That night, on the edge of MacTaggart lands, with the emerald meadows and the inky-dark trees spread out in the valley below them, Ava turned to him. Her eyes were as bright as sapphires, and there was a curious quirk to her lips.
“And you. What do you want?”
“Tonight? To find the one place in all of Scotland that does not have a tree root or a rock sticking out of it and to sleep there.”
The Highlander’s Promise (The Highlands Warring Scottish Romance) (A Medieval Historical Romance Book) Page 18