Chapter 15
Now it kind of surprised me that David hadn't taken the initiative to introduce himself to Jennifer yet. I mean a young single man and a pretty girl of about his age, why not right? Well I do suppose David had his fill of dating recently after the whole Amy thing. Maybe that experience tuckered him out on girls for a while. God knows Amy could do that to a fella.
So it seems David's existence in the mean time had become even more regimented than usual. Not just boring but even a bit reclusive. Not intentionally reclusive mind you, but enough alone time to allow his head to clear and the sun to shine through again.
Quite unlike David; beer was on his evening menu for a while. He told himself it was just to calm his nerves about the Amy issue and how and when he will tell her the news. There's always a "good" excuse to escape in the bottle or in beer I suppose, if you want to find excuses. Let's have a beer I just got a new job! Let's have a beer I just got fired. Let's have a beer we're goin' fishin'. Let's have a beer my dog just got run over by a semi. There's always a reason to have a beer, good or bad reasons. A party to celebrate or a mug to cry in, if you want to drink you'll find a reason. This was not like David at all, and he knew it.
Good thing for David it didn't last very long. The first couple of days he drank in the evenings he was able to tough his way through the morning workouts. But after a couple more days his body was worn down from the alcohol, erratic sleeping and especially the dehydration.
The day he decided to head back to the "clean life" he awoke with a major headache at about, well exactly 4:47am. He didn't usually wake up before his normal 5:30am rising. The alcohol had spoiled his sleeping patterns. He couldn't go back to sleep so just laid there in bed worrying about how hard his run would be this morning. He rose at 5:30am and went through his normal routine but this time with great pain and severe nausea. His run was a living nightmare. One minute he felt alright, well almost alright, the next his stomach churned, the next his head hurt, the next nausea set in and he noticed he wasn't sweating properly. He was very upset with himself when he had to walk out his last half mile of his workout, something he hadn't done in years. He was completely disappointed in himself. That was his last day for drinking for a long while; back to living right. The next several days of running where like heaven for David.
Now don't get me wrong I do think drinking to excess is wrong, and if I did it Elizabeth would probably break my arm or something, but sometimes you just have to let go. Now I'm not saying David should have let himself fall into a six month binge drinking stupor, but it might have served him well not to kick himself so hard just because he had a few days of overdoing it. David's just a young man and to push himself so hard can be counterproductive. Sometimes, especially when you're young, you have to just let yourself make mistakes and learn how to live with them. Although the mistake of enjoying the drink too much can be a dire one I suppose.
Elizabeth had this friend, for a while anyway, that really fell into the bottle. It's as if she, I think Penny was her name ? anyway. It's as if Penny had decided sobriety sucks and she would have none of it. How can someone wake up early in the morning after a night of drinking and start with a shot of vodka and a beer? I don't know, but Penny could do it. At least that's what Elizabeth said she did a lot. Penny would come over to see Elizabeth for coffee and she would bring a flask of vodka and six pack of beer; and that's just breakfast.
I felt a little sorry for Penny, and even more for Elizabeth because the whole drinking thing disturbed her so. However, Penny seemed to be having such a good time with her drinking that it was hard to tell right from wrong. She was what people would call a "happy drunk". She was really enjoyable to be around. Penny was always smiling, boisterous and fun loving. But ? Elizabeth just couldn't handle all the drinking so she slowly, and very civilly, stopped spending time with Penny. Someone later told me that Penny experienced serious health problems and only went downhill from there. That drinking is a dangerous thing when you know it's hurting your body, or your life, and you're so hooked you can't stop. David probably made the right decision to nip the whole beer thing in the bud. If you don't get too far in you don't have to drag yourself back out, I guess.
From my observations, David next decided to occupy his mind with his beloved music. Doing what he had to do to keep Amy off his mind, and especially from having to tell her the news, he chose to enrich his senses. I heard his playing as I passed by his apartment, not very loud, but I heard it.
The piece of music he chose to work on was an original. David wanted to put his feelings into music. He wanted the notes to sing and actually cry from the violin; to "let the music do the talking" so to speak. All I heard was a bunch of long bowed notes, but I'm sure David knew their meaning better than I. He was playing pretty good (not well, just good) but I don't think he'll make first chair in the near future.
David likes to put his wit into his music. To make an original piece of music ironic or sardonic or illogic or some other "ic" word he finds to be intelligent and presumptuous. He lets his music carry an arrogance that his personality does not usually show. In other words he likes to be a different person in his music; one that is more confident and even a bit rude. You know; the kind of person that would refuse to go out for a show because there weren't the right number of green M&M's in his dressing room. It's a little alternate life David lives in his head. He doesn't wish to be that person all the time, but he believes it takes a bit of arrogance to summon the confidence to write and perform a piece of your own music, especially before an audience.
David named the piece of music, that started slow and built with intensity to climax in great pain, "The Great Big Empty Void of Redundancy I Feel When I think Of How To Tell Amy Helmer To Shove Off". I'm guessing he didn't want to leave anything to the imagination for the audience. He could see himself standing on the stage saying, in a snooty voice with his nose raised high in the air and wearing a tuxedo: "Nooow I would like to ennnthrallll you with my newest work. I believe I have aptly named it "The Great Big Empty Void of Redundancy I Feel When I think Of How To Tell Amy Helmer To Shove Off." David would then let out one of those laughs that sounds like a horse's whinny. Can you picture the laugh of a multi-millionaire at a party where he's telling jokes and everyone's laughing but the jokes aren't really funny? No one laughs until the millionaire starts off the laughing, at his own joke mind you, with that aristocratic whinny that comes from knowing you're so rich you never have to say you're sorry. That's the kind of laugh we're talking about here. David has quite the imagination huh?
For a person that lives such a strict lifestyle David sure can be creative. I don't know about you but I've not seen both traits in many people. I mean most musicians, or even musical people, don't tend to be, well so black and white about their daily life. What I mean is that, based on my observations anyways, artistic people (whether it be painting, writing, music or whatever) seem to be more flamboyant and take it as it comes. They're the kind of folks that would, on a whim, just say let's go to Paris; then jump on a plane and off they go. This would be whether they could truly afford the trip or not. Most of the rest of us, less creative people I suppose, tend to have a bit more grounded of a personality. We would plan out a vacation (sometimes years in advance), ask off at work, list the things we need to take, do a budget for the trip, find someone to water our plants while we're gone, locate a kennel for the pets to stay, and so on and so on. It wouldn't be just off and gone. Anyway, I'm rambling ? again. What I'm trying to get across here is that David does a good job of maintaining his strict day-to-day life while allowing his creative and romantic side to dominate as well. Yes, I think he simply maintains his strict regimented style but he lets his creative/romantic side dominate him. You might not be able to tell it when you first meet him, but I think this has to do with the way he doesn't talk about work. Work is work, but his creative side is who he really is under
neath all that. David's kind of a complicated fellow don't you think?
I've always wished I was born with musical talent. I know, I know for most it takes hard work, not just being born with it, but it seems like some people come to it naturally. I actually tried playing the trombone while in grade school. It's really a very cool instrument in the hands of someone that knows what they are doing. That would not be me though. I tried my best but my teacher was always scolding me for being lazy and not practicing. She'd say "Sammy you're just being lazy, you've got to practice boy". She's right ya know. I was lazy. Still am too. I guess there are people who do things and people who watch the world go by. I'd have to classify myself as the latter. When I was younger I didn't want to admit it, but as I've gotten older I've started to feel more comfortable in my skin and admit who I am. It's not so terrible really; I mean it goes along with my favorite hobby of just observing people and things. Some people have to do things to be happy; I kind of just live in my mind. That's fine by me.
I know I'm getting off on a tangent here but bear with me. Anywho, as I look back now I really only took those trombone lessons to get close to this really cute girl in my class. I found out her mother taught lessons out of her home and so I had my mom sign me up. Mrs. Dow was an attractive lady for her age, remember everyone's old when you're eight, she was almost nice too. But her daughter, oh Keira Dow, my first love. Well it was pretty much a one way street kind of love mind you, but Keira was so cute and sweet. Even though she didn't want to be my "girlfriend" she was so nice and we became just friends. It worked out well to have a reason to be at her house once a week after school. I'd always hang around afterword and Keira and I would play little kid games and I'd walk her to the park or something. After a while we even started to have play dates over at my house. She thought I was kind of strange inviting a girl to play with a boy at his own house but she rarely said no. I think she actually liked me but her mother discovering how lazy I was didn't help much. I'm also pretty sure Keira's mother knew I was just using the trombone lessons as an excuse to get near her daughter. Mrs. Dow didn't care much for the thought of her eight year old daughter "dating" yet. It was innocent and all but you know how parents can be.
Anyway, we were good friends through grade school but when puberty kicked in we kind of went our separate ways. She got a bit rude when she started liking boys. She had one of her friends tell me that Keira says she is "out of your league". Oh well, she was probably right. That hurt for quite some time. You know how a pubescent teenage boy can obsess about things like that. But now I look back at Keira with joy; my first love. I still remember the perfume she wore. It wasn't little girl perfume; she must have gotten it from her mother or something. So when I'm out I sometimes smell a lady wearing it. I don't know the name of it but the smell always takes me back and makes me smile. Often Elizabeth will ask me what I'm smiling about and I usually just lean over and kiss her; then we both smile. It's good to have happy thoughts. But I'm rambling again so let me get back to David.
Along with his music David kept himself busy, and more importantly his mind off of Amy, with work stuff. He would dare not talk about or really even think of work during his home/personal time but he really focused during working hours. David once told me that he's usually got plenty of things going on in his personal life, that it would be very difficult to find the time to worry about work. Plus, David said, "I'm not paid to worry on off hours"; pretty good motto probably.
After I got to know David a bit I tried to press him several times about his job. He won't even say where he works. It's a little annoying but I suppose I understand. David doesn't want his work to define him. He doesn't want to meet people that would be impressed with his education credentials, his job title, his income level, the things he owns or the prestige of being a powerful man. I don't know that he is or has any of these things but his confidence in himself kind of leads me to believe he does.
He's right you know. Any girl, or guy for that matter, that becomes your friend because of your job title or income level will not be your real friend. They either think you can help them out in their career or they are impressed with the consumer aspect of your money. Once they realize there is more to you as a person than your job you get somewhat diminished in their eyes. It's like if you are the boss at work and you show great leadership skills and tact, but then you occasionally cut loose at home and those same people are offended by your "adolescent" behavior. There's just more to a person than their job that's all. Career climbers annoy me. David is not one at all.
But you know, not everybody agrees with David's perspective on keeping work and personal life separate. Take Frank for instance. He contradicts David's thoughts quite a bit. Frank has told me ? well he taught me, 'cause he can't really just tell you something, he has to treat you like a student to get his point across ? anyways, he informed me that in order to be really successful one must immerse himself in his work and make it his life. You can't just be a nine to five'r and expect to shake up the world.
Frank took this to the nth degree. For him, apparently, it was hard to tell where the work ended and the personal life began, if the work ever ended really. I mean his whole person is wrapped up in being the tenured Professor Frank Whitney, Ph.D of history. I suppose that Frank lives so much in the past, so much in history, that he sees no benefit of the here and now. I'm not sure how he feels about the future but he certainly doesn't seem to have much respect for the now.
As I try to get my mind around which is better, to totally separate work from personal time or to immerse yourself in your work to maximize your potential to be successful; I wonder if a balance would be best. But then I suppose a real balance is the separation itself. What David might sacrifice in career goals he may make up for in personal freedom and happiness. What Frank has given up in personal happiness, friends and such, might be worth it to him but I doubt it. I think if Frank took an honest look at his life he would assess that he overdid the career thing and sacrificed a lot of relationships and happiness in the mean time. To each their own I guess.
I'm not trying to judge either Frank or David here. I'm just interested about how different their opinions of how to live a life really are. Actually though, I don't think their opinions are different. I think David is being mature about the reality of a need for balance and separation between home and work; and well, Frank is only trying to fool himself into believing the choices he made have created a better world and life in general for him. Frank is surely to come to his senses on this someday and I'll bet it puts him in an even worse mood than his normal sour demeanor. Well let's get back to how David is keeping himself busy.
David enjoys his morning runs. So, when he was at the supermarket the other day and noticed a flyer about a 5K fun run coming up next month it excited him. He's already in pretty good shape so he figured if he really bore down on his training he might run a good time. David wasn't fooling himself though. I mean his normal morning jogs were fast but not race fast, and not for time. However, he figured he would run this upcoming 5K and see how he did then he would train over the next year and go for a win at the same annual race. Probably pick up some other fun run's along the way as well, as part of the training.
Meticulous David planned out his training attire: from what shoes to wear (lighter and better than his normal running shoes), to how many pairs of socks and what brand, athletic underwear or a jock?, breathable mesh shorts, he'd stick to his regular white t-shirt to run in as it can't be beat, a new watch for timing (a watch that would time his kilometer splits). Then David was on to his training regimen: go out fast for the first .2 kilometers then settle into a seven minute mile pace for the first three kilometers; kind of a warm up. Then just past the three kilometer mark take off with a six minute and twenty-five second mile pace (this is where you just have to fight through the pain in your lungs and legs and be tough), and sprint out the last thr
ee hundred meters. This would allow him a good time. Well a good time for him anyways. Also, this would just be the starting training regimen he would increase his speed on two week training cycles. In other words he would train a steady plan for two weeks then he would slowly raise his speed by say .1 miles per hour (or I think that's like .16 kilometers per hour) in both the beginning and the ending of the 5K, reducing his time and giving him the best chance to win or at least place in the top three.
David enjoys these little plans he makes. Sometimes I think he delves into things just so he can make a plan or a list or pros and cons breakdown or something to get his mind focused and on the task at hand. He's funny in that way.
Now I'm not saying these are bad traits to have; that being David's incessant need to plan things through thoroughly and then methodically carry them out. I'm sure that's how successful people get things done. I'm just saying it can be a bit quirky sometimes. Maybe that's why David's not such a whiz with the ladies. I've found most young woman like spontaneity. They probably shouldn't but they do. That's why they like the bad boys; they're unpredictable. David probably comes across as boring to the gals. But then again, does it really matter how a man acts, women seem to have no tangible reason for why they like someone. At least I haven't been able to figure one out yet. Who knows why Elizabeth likes me; let alone loves me? I mean she tells me and all but sometimes I think there is just no good reason why she loves me, she just does. Oh well a guy like me will take what he can get and log it as a blessing.
Anyways, David worked so hard on his training plans that I'm fairly certain he'll succeed in his goal to win the race next year. In fact, as hard working and prepared as he is I'd be surprised if he doesn't start winning some of the other races he enters before the end of his training. Seems when David sets his mind to something he carries it out with clockwork precision. Oh to be young again with all that energy, hope and direction. David seems to know the path he's on, except with the Amy thing I suppose. Me, I just let things come as they come. Yah, when I was younger like David I guess I did have more of an intended direction and the energy to push toward it, somewhat, but that seemed to fade away with age. I think as you settle into adulthood you slow down; and that's a good thing. I'm certainly happier now with a simple sunrise or a warm day and such. I guess it's like Miss Donna says; it's the little things that really matter. That's what seems to get reinforced in your mind as you grow older; at least in my mind it does.
Well as far as keeping himself busy, and his mind off of dealing with the Amy situation, David was a sheer success. But I'll tell you, I don't think putting off the Amy problem is a good thing. I mean hell hath no fury like a woman scorned right? Surely Amy will get pretty ticked off if she waits a long time then only to be told to take a hike. David's kind of playing with fire here, don't ya think? Amy and David just didn't work out, they are not a good match, but you know who comes to mind that are? Miss Donna and Frank.
Oh I know what you're thinking. They're just too different how could they get along? But I've observed Miss Donna, as well as Frank, and I believe she really likes him. She can peer through his angry facade and see who he really is on the inside; just a lonely old guy with a good sense of humor and a taste for the theatrical. Frank probably doesn't want people to know he has these traits as it would go against his straight laced Professor Frank Whitney Ph.D. credentials. I just bet that if Miss Donna and Frank took the time to get to know each other better they'd be surprised at how many things they have in common.
Just to be frank with you, as Frank would say or something like that, I can tell he likes Miss Donna as well. He's so funny, he'll say things like "Sure Miss Donna is sweet and all but ?" or "just because Miss Donna is pretty doesn't mean she's ?" or "simply because Miss Donna lights up a room with her smile doesn't mean what she has to say holds merit" and on and on. It's like he starts off by saying these nice things about her then tries to talk himself into believing she's really not all that good. I bet deep down he really does think she's all that; all that and a bag of chips, not just regular chips but those awesome Fritos maybe even with some French onion dip on the side. You get my point I'm sure.
I'll bet if I were to put my best observation skills to work on the two of them I could foresee what is going to happen. Maybe I'll take the time to do that. Oh here I go again with the matchmaking crap. I guess I'm just turning into an old softy; or a busy body, yah a busy body's more like it.
A Modern Love Page 26