Chapter 28
As hard as it was, and with several drafts of his wonderful pros/cons lists, David decided to be patient; to wait a while and see what happens. He figured Jennifer might just need some space; therefore he would give it to her. After all, if he really liked her as much as he thought he did, then the least he could do for her was give her time to think and the space she apparently needs.
David found this time excruciatingly painful. I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then, he thought. Letting his memory slide back to a simpler time in his life when he both had no patience and still retained the wonderful ignorance of its importance to life; David yearned for the carefree exuberance of rushing headlong into the world (or, specifically, after girls, he thought) without a care for pulling on the reins or the consequences of the cliff swiftly approaching. It was a time he thought would last forever. I suppose we all think that, but eventually have to grow up some time. David just wished he could have grown up a little later. Again, I suppose we all do.
Not to get off an a tangent here but ? well isn't it a funny human trait that we want to grow up so fast when we are young, but then want to go back to youth as soon as we grow older?
You ever notice how articulate and grown up a five year old can be? The way they can talk and act, like a mini-adult. They want so much to be seen as mature. You even notice how some (I know not all) twenty-five year olds can be so immature? They want to so much to be seen as mature, but at the same time want to behave like an adolescent. I suppose we think we know it all in our twenties, but then find out we know nothing in our thirties. What does that provide us after forty? I can read about it in books, but something tells me living it is the only way to truly understand it. Kind of like you have to lose to know how to win; or something. Who really knows?
Also, some folks say that youth is wasted on the young. I disagree; by the way so does Elizabeth. I mean youth isn't all cupcakes and lollypops. You just try going off to war at eighteen or nineteen years of age. At least that's something that gets better with age. Most forty plus folks aren't asked to risk life and limb fighting for their country. Although I suppose many would, after all it's certainly worth fighting for. But ? we send the youth ? just something to think about. Anyways where was I? Oh yah ?
David's being patient. That is at least outwardly. The whole situation is really tearing him up inside. I'm not talking about the crying, worrying kind of tearing up; just that annoying nagging that happens when you're waiting around for something important. You ever have to go to the bathroom real ? real bad and get stuck in traffic? That's the kind of annoying feeling I'm talkin' 'bout. You know what I mean don't ya?
Anywho, David's at least doing the right thing in his mind. He's sacrificing his immediate happiness for an opportunity for greater happiness down the road. Now that's a pretty mature stance to take towards life. And ? more importantly, he's sacrificing his immediate happiness to allow the young lady he seeks to have the time and space she needs to find her happiness. Two gold stars for David!
A Modern Love Page 48