by Jody Kaye
Owen’s holiday spirit tops out in the next ten minutes, ready for his morning nap early. He rubs his eyes the way we had before the coffee pot had finished perking. It’s good timing because Aidy’s expected home before ten o’clock and I still have to get her there.
Trig’s about to bring O up to his crib when Kimber holds both of her kids tight. Aidy’s hugging her bio-mom when Kimber pronounces it the best Christmas ever. Despite the uncertainty with Aidy’s adoptive parents, I agree with her before realizing this is the first December twenty-fifth Kimber has spent with Aidy. Sharing today is special for my girlfriend in more ways than it is for me. I hope we have more than this one together, and none of the rest of them have any problems looming in the shadows.
I tickle Aidy up the stairs so she can shower and get changed. There’s a bit of dread on both our parts she has to go, but my ass is she going to show up at five past and make the conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Fairley harder.
On the other side of the curtain, under the spray, she jokes with me as I shave that they may disown her. I doubt this and tell her so. She’s coming up with contingency plans to get through the next semester.
I pull the wet liner to the side to peek at her nakedness and pull her head out of the clouds. “We need to get through the next week, Sweet Pea. You have almost all of January to figure out your next steps.”
Aidy’s piled her hair high on her head. She’s been using my body wash to scrub herself and the water sluices off her curves. She drops her arms to her sides, jutting her hip when she notices me watching.
“Like what you see, Morgan?”
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Aidy smiles, placing a delicate kiss on my lips. Leaning in, the spray douses my face. Not that I give a damn when wiping the towel over my chin and handing it into the stall for her as Aidy shuts off the stream. I’d have my head buried between her legs if we didn’t need to get a move on. I leave the steamy cube to pull a pair of jeans off the top rack in the closet.
“Maybe Jake will give me a job at Sweet Caroline’s?” Aidy’s seductive hips swing. She approaches where I’m sitting on the bed, shoving my feet into the denim. She’s got on one of those sexy matching sets where the panties and bra go together.
My jaw tightens and the wood I’ve been sporting deflates as I scowl.
“What’s wrong? You don’t think I’ll be any good at it, do you? Kimber danced. Cece could teach me.” She reminds me I’m surrounded by strippers and former ones.
“No.” I stand, hitching my index finger into the loops on my waistband and pulling my pants up. I’m not normally demanding, but pull Aidy to straddle my lap. She needs to understand my vehement opposition to this. “It’s bad enough my friends watch my sister take her clothes off. Nobody looks at what you have underneath but me.” My low voice reverberates against the walls like a Neanderthal.
“What about when you take me to the beach?” She tips up my chin and rocks against my groin. “I wear a bikini when it’s warm.”
“I’m buying you a modest one piece and a parka to go over it this summer. The kind with a big fuzzy hood.”
Aidy giggles. Her happy is the best sound ever. Our lips linger together. I tug at the lower one with my teeth. She sighs and I hesitate telling Aidy I love her. It seems like a lot of pressure right before taking her home. However, something in her blue eyes gives me a “me too” vibe.
“You aren’t talking to Jake—or Kimber,” I warn. “She’ll tell you what I’m about to say anyhow. Sweet Pea, you’re sexy as hell and it wouldn’t be fair to the other dancers. They’d lose all their tips.”
“You’re such a horrible liar.” She swats my chest and I grab her hands, moving them to my mouth to kiss her fingertips.
“Really, Aidy, you’re where half of those women would kill to be. You’re past needing to work in a place like that.”
“You work in a place like that.”
“Again, because you tower above me. I am only good enough to worship at your feet.”
She wrinkles her nose and raises a brow. “Nobody’s better than anyone.”
I know what she’s thinking. It’s hard to keep it off my mind too.
“Make up with your parents, Sweet Pea.” The Fairley’s are an older couple. I’d guess their ages are closer to sixty. Aidy’s been their world for the past nineteen years. They’re not going to give her up. Having parents who gave up on me, I don’t want them to either.
“No, not if it means losing you, Morgan. I’ll figure it out.”
“Why do you think you’re going at this alone? I don’t need you to defend me.”
If anyone needs sticking up for it’s her, and when Trig raps on the door I’m proven right. “Let’s go, kids. I’m warming up the car.”
“Aidy’s finishing getting dressed. Hold on, I thought you said the pissed off lawyer was mine to deal with?”
“I changed my mind. I’m not the most objective, but it’s clear Don isn’t either. I’m not letting either of you get railroaded. There’s too many people telling Aidy what to do and not enough of us listening to her.”
Is that what I’ve just done? I’ll never be okay with Aidy working at Sweet Caroline’s while she’s been respectful of the reasons behind why I’m keeping my shifts there after getting the mammoth bonus last night. If push came to shove, I’m sure we could brainstorm a better job. But what if that’s the one she wants and Aidy sees the growing circle of friendship with Cece and Kimber as an appeal? I have to admit I like Sweet Caroline’s because of the vibe I get from the guys and other employees being there—minus when Jake’s on and as long as I’m not looking at the stage. But how is it different from working anywhere else?
I have to be honest with myself; given the rest of my surrogate family is on-site, the placement of video feeds Skye has shown me inside, and security cameras outside, the club is one of the safest places Aidy can be.
My internal caveman is still growling his discontent as we pull into the Fairley’s driveway. I’ll go along with what Aidy wants, but not unless she’s got all the options laid at her feet. Knowing her, that’s what she was trying to explore anyhow when she brought it up.
Aidy’s mom greets us at the door. Neither she nor Don hides the surprise over Trig accompanying us, but they’re shocked when Aidy hugs them both. I’d expect no less of her. Aidy has a lot of respect for her mom and dad and it shows. She’s only asking for them to return the favor and treat her like an adult. It’s harder for me to understand how tight the Fairley’s are holding on since my parents were glad to get rid of us at eighteen and only ever proud of our accomplishments if they reflected on my mom and dad in a positive light.
I don’t want to lose Aidy, and I don’t want to come between my girlfriend and her parents. If Trig hadn’t taken a seat in the Fairley’s living room, I’d probably turn tail and run. Attempt for a third time to rebuild my meaningless existence because Aidy’s shown I’m not wholly worthless, and she deserves the perfection all these people have tried to encircle her with.
While our connections aren’t comparable, somehow I feel a small kinship with Kimber, recognizing I love Aidy enough to let her go. And doing what’s right for Aidy these past few months has made me strong enough to accept that.
The silence in the room is thick. Trig’s about to cut through it when Aidy speaks.
“First things first, I’m considering changing my major.”
“That makes no sense Aidy—”
“It does Mom, the class I did well in last semester was about behavioral health in educational environments.”
“You’ve worked too hard to change your mind.”
“I’ve been in college for a year and a half. You gave up your career when I was born.”
“But teaching, being in the classroom—it’s been your goal since you were six.”
“Because I came from a supportive background, I never needed those other services. I hadn’t realized there were more ways to help students
. Guidance counseling is something I could be passionate about.”
“Changing high schoolers’ schedules is beneath you.” Her dad rejects the idea offhand.
“And changing diapers wasn’t?” Aidy remarks in as judgmental a tone. Mrs. Fairley isn’t hearing, and Mr. Fairley has on his lawyer hat.
“That’s different. More goes into motherhood than you can imagine.”
“More goes into being a good counselor. And I want to explore psychology, Dad, work one-on-one with teenagers, not fill their days with prescribed coursework. But, you know what, now that you’ve brought up guidance counseling, I can see the even broader scope of how those two positions work together. And I won’t diminish anyone’s career to prove my superiority.” She tacks on, stunning me that she’d have the courage to say it to her practical, yet solidly upper-middle-class parents. I doubt they have a clue how much income a tradesman like Trig draws in before Skye invests it.
“I don’t know if I’ll wind up in a school or want to join or open a practice of my own. All I do know is over this last semester my eyes have opened and shutting them isn’t a possibility anymore.”
“That’s marginally better,” he concedes, but digs back in. “However, I’m not spending money on room and board if you’re never there or off partying. I’m not financing another dalliance while you find yourself, Aidy.” He uses those stupid air quotes.
Damn. I want to like this guy, but his tone is the same familiar one another attorney used in a courtroom against me a couple of years back. Aidy’s dad knows how to argue a point. Unfortunately for him, so does his daughter.
“I’m not interested in living on campus anymore.”
“Do you expect us to pay rent on an apartment? For heaven’s sake, move home.”
“No!” I recognize where they’re headed with this. If I’m home, they can control me.
“We can get a place together.” Morgan laces his fingers in mine.
It’s not as if the suggestion hadn’t come up between us when we were looking at bedroom sets this morning. Although, it was more like a “where do you see us eventually living” idea.
Trig’s head has lobbed back and forth listening to my parents and I duke it out. He sees my dad’s disapproval grow into a simmering rage and he holds up his palms. “Aidy can stay with us for now.” He’s pointed in the declaration. “If you guys work something out later on for her to go back to the dorms, that’s cool. But she’s not going to be homeless, and she’s been under enough stress. I don’t want her to have anything else to worry about.”
My mom sputters about the appropriateness and my dad’s eyes are laser-boring a whole into Morgan’s forehead as if he’s trying to explode it.
Oh, my God. They’re worried I’m sleeping with him. That our affection and connection stems from lust and I’ve let a man take advantage of me. Except it’s the wrong man they are directing their fears at.
“Don,” Trig offers. “I’m trying to help your family. I already know Aidy’s roommate isn’t returning to campus. Aidy doesn’t want to be there and, other than to celebrate today, she doesn’t seem to want to be at your house. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“But Morgan lives under your roof.” Mom’s stuck on Nancy’s outburst and pleads for me to give him up.
I won’t. I can’t. I love him enough to linger in his life the way my biological mother had. Kimber wanted better for me and I want better for Morgan. He may have Cece, Trig, Kimber, everyone at the mill, but I get to be part of his support system too. He wouldn’t have let me in on the most awful parts of his existence if he hadn’t needed me.
I wish my parents had gotten a glimpse of who Morgan is before grief and despair clouded their judgment.
Trig levels them with a none-too-subtle glare. “I’m reminding you of two things. First, it’s my goddamned house to make the rules for. Second, when Morgan needed help, I lent a hand. He’s not my kid. But my wife gave birth to yours. So if you think that alone doesn’t make Aidy special enough for me to look out for, we can end this malarkey. I think if you saw Aidy the way Kimber and I do, you’d realize what amazing parents you are to her. Catch my word there: ARE. Aidy and I have discussed the role Kimber and I play in her life. None of what’s transpired has had a damn thing to do with her wanting Kimber as her mother. It’s been all about falling for her first love and them creating something better. If you think Aidy hasn’t worried Morgan living at my house wouldn’t make it seem to you she doesn’t have respect for your role, then you underestimate her. I’ll be honest, you toss your daughter away, and I’m standing in line behind this young man for a chance to make it right.
“There’s no doubt in my mind the grades have anything to do with Morgan in a negative sense. I saw Morgan take my son from Aidy so she’d study more often. He’s not looking to tie her down, trip up her dreams. I think he’s hoping to make a few they both have in common come true when the timing is right.
“She’s been sitting here trying to remind you she’s a grown-ass woman capable of making her own decisions. And the only reason I’m flapping my gums is because of your unwillingness to accept her side of the story. It’s a shame you think a man needs to come to her rescue and a sham that you can’t see Aidy’s the one helping Morgan salvage his goals.”
My mom’s lip wobbles and looks at her folded hands.
I reach across to snag one. “I need you to trust me. I had a bad semester. If there’s another one, I won’t hide it. I hadn’t wanted you to worry. I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me.”
“Why would we ever be ashamed?” Mom’s concern is genuine.
I hold the line. It’s drawn in the imaginary sand lying on the table between us. And I won’t cross it because I get to own my story. It’s my choice who I reveal it to, how I heal, and when I use what I’ve been through to help others. I don’t owe anyone.
Instead of answering for myself, I defend Morgan’s injustice. “You’re ashamed of my relationship with Morgan.”
“We want the best for you,” Dad says, rubbing his nose.
I hate Trig’s verbal sucker-punch, but the clarity in their eyes is evident.
“Get to know Morgan. You might find he isn’t the same person who went to prison. Isn’t that the point? To come out better. Reformed. I’ll be honest, I doubt it happens much. Bad people keep doing bad things and there are plenty, who you think are good, who are as vile at the core. But every so often, maybe there is a Morgan. Someone who took the blame placed on his shoulders with humility and now wants to go on with their life and try to rebuild it.”
Morgan swallows. “Don’t, Sweet Pea. Your mom and dad don’t have to get to know me or like me.”
He doesn’t like me defending him.
“I won’t let you concede again without knowing someone’s been there fighting for you and won’t leave when the fight is over.” Cece had tried, but Morgan was bound and determined to protect his sister and did what was right to keep her from any more pain. He’d been looking for a way to get back to her faster.
“They need to understand you won’t ever hurt me and that you never intended to hurt Rob or his family.” I turn to my mom and dad. “Ask him about it.”
“I don’t think now is the time, Aidy. Subjects like these are better suited for another day.”
“I beg to differ, Mom. Christmas is about family and forgiveness and coming together.”
There’s another long silence while what I’ve said hangs in the air.
“Would you like to stay, Morgan, so we can all talk some more?” Dad offers an olive branch.
“I’ll go wait in the car.” Trig’s stands. His shoulders relax and he yawns. I laugh. Even though I hadn’t met Trig until right before Kimber and he got married, I used to watch him sleep in a car outside our windows on my birthday. All the while I wondered who he was and what it was like having a handsome man waiting in a carriage to swoop me away from a party the way he’d done with Kimber… And now I know because there was t
his guy who picked me up in a utility truck.
“No need.” Dad rises to shake Trig’s hand. “I’ll drive Morgan back to Brighton after dinner.” His lips flatten to a line when he glances at me. I can see the war he’s having letting me go and I have the feeling I’ll see my dad’s same resigned expression on the day he walks me down the aisle. But my gut says these will be the only two days my father looks at me like he’s lost me. The willingness to hear me out means there will be more happier moments than sad ones.
I hug Trig tight before he leaves and my mom does too, so I know they’re okay. He’s assuaged any worry she’s had over the past two days that Kimber’s replacing her.
I’m glad for it. My mom is my mom. At the risk of getting ahead of myself, it’s her face I need to see when I try on wedding gowns because she was the one who took me to try on prom dresses. Those memories belong between us.
As if nothing is a miss, my parents ask Morgan about himself and we get to talking about the party last night and how he’d shot hoops outside in the cold with Jasper and Skye while I stayed toasty enjoying Cece’s company.
The guys Morgan hangs around with have the “I take care of my woman” vibe. However, my mom and dad are old-school in their beliefs that the prince rescues the princess. They like hearing Morgan’s sister is attending Pinewood too and how he wants to help her pay some of her student loans. I play off Brighton Hailey and Pinewood College Hailey are one and the same, but mention she was there as Jasper’s date. There will be plenty of time to explain later, when I figure out how, and what, Hay wants my parents to know. I get that some things are nobody else’s business.
The subject changes with a natural flow to all the points Morgan put on the board with the university squad. By the time we circle around to the morning Rob died, he’s scored with my mom and dad too. They see him closer to the man I know, who took responsibility when there was no clean-cut guilt or innocence. He’s a young person who made the same poor choices so many others do, and the consequences haunt him.