I nodded and thought about what I wanted to talk about; but, I had no idea where to begin, so I told her just that.
“Let’s start with last night. What happened that had Savior calling and asking me to come to Devil Springs?”
“I thought he already told you everything,” I hedged.
“He did, but I want to hear it from you.”
“My husband and I had separated, and he died before I found out why he left. Yesterday, the police found a letter Ian had written to me on the night he died. He knew something was going on with his friend and he left to protect me and the kids. Then, last night, my son got sick and wanted Kellan to lay in the bed with him. And Braxton called him ‘Daddy’ before he fell asleep,” I shared and looked down at my clasped hands.
“And then what happened?”
I smiled sadly. “I think Kellan knew it was too much for me. He tried to dismiss it by saying Braxton was just tired, but as soon as Braxton was asleep, he left the room. I assumed he went downstairs, but he wasn’t there when I got up this morning and I just…I don’t know, I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”
“Why not?” Harper gently prompted.
I balled my hands into tightly clenched fists. “Because I’m fucking pissed!” I blurted, then clarified, “Not at my son.”
I took a moment to breathe through it and gather my thoughts. Or I tried to. “Don’t think about it. Tell me what you’re feeling right now,” Harper insisted.
“I feel selfish right now. Why can’t I grieve for my husband like a normal widow? Every time I think I’ve found a little bit of peace, and dare I say happiness, in my life, something comes along and rips my heart out all over again. I don’t want to forget Ian and I would never try to replace him, but it was a hell of a lot easier to move forward with my life when I was mad at him. Then, yesterday I found out he was the noble man I loved all along. I understand why he did it the way he did, but I think he should’ve fucking told me! What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Be in love with my dead husband as well as Kellan? I’m so damn angry I just want to scream at the top of my lungs! Why me? Why did this have to happen to me the way that it did? I want to know why?!” I sucked in a huge lungful of air at the end of my rant.
“Do it,” Harper said simply.
“Do what?”
“Scream.” When I looked at her like she’d lost her damn mind, she said it again. “No one’s here. Scream your frustration to the heavens.” She waited a few seconds and got to her feet. “Okay, I’ll go first.”
And she did. The little woman let out a ferocious roar toward the ceiling. She kept going until she ran out of breath and coughed. “Your turn.”
“Fuck it,” I shrugged and inhaled deeply. “WHHHHYYYY?” I screamed followed by a deep, animalistic noise I didn’t know I was capable of producing.
“Again!” Harper encouraged and clapped her hands together loudly.
I was in the zone so I did as she said without question. “Fucking WHHHHYYYY?! Mark, you motherfucking bastard!! You did this to all of us! You might as well have killed him yourself! I hate you! I hope Satan is fucking your ass with a red-hot fire poker right this very second!!”
I inhaled deeply and dropped into my chair. It was only then I realized I’d been standing.
“Good!” Harper said excitedly. “Feel better?”
“A little,” I admitted.
Harper nodded. “That’s a good answer. If you’d said ‘much’ or ‘completely,’ I would’ve known you were lying. This isn’t something that can be mended by one session of screaming. But continually working through your feelings will get you to a place of acceptance. And that’s what I want to help you do. Now, I can’t come to Devil Springs every week and I know you can’t make it to Croftridge every week; but if you’re willing, we could do some counseling sessions via video chat.”
“I’m willing to try anything at this point,” I confessed.
“Good. I’ll do whatever I can to help,” she said and glanced at her phone. “We still have some time before my aunt comes back. Earlier you asked if you were supposed to be in love with your dead husband as well as Savior. Let’s talk about that.”
I focused my eyes on the table. “Uh, I don’t really know what to say about that.”
“Let me ask you this. Why do you see it as a problem?”
“Well, uh, I, um,” I stammered. “Because you can’t be in love with two people at the same time.”
She leaned forward and propped her chin up with her fist. “Why is that?”
I blinked at her in confusion. “Because it’s wrong. It’s a form of cheating.”
“And there it is,” she said with a Cheshire-like grin. “The source of your guilt.”
“What?”
“You feel like you’re cheating on Ian with Savior, which is why it was easier for you to handle when you were angry with Ian. Did you think that he might have left you for another woman?”
My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I slowly nodded. I didn’t want to believe it, and I didn’t have any proof, but what woman wouldn’t think her husband was cheating on her if he came home from work one day and told her he was leaving without any explanation? “I didn’t know for sure, but it did cross my mind more than once.”
“And that was enough for you to justify your relationship with Savior. But, that all went out the window when you learned the truth about Ian, leaving you to feel like you’d betrayed your marriage.”
I stared at her in complete and utter shock. The feelings coursing through me that I had been unable to identify suddenly had names and descriptions.
“Do you and Savior talk about Ian?” she asked carefully.
I nodded and cleared my throat. “We do occasionally. He told me he would never ask me or the kids to forget about him. He’s been unbelievably understanding of the entire situation and even encouraged me to have pictures in the kids’ rooms.”
She smiled fondly. “That sounds like Savior and his big ole heart. Okay, I have a suggestion for you two. It may seem strange, but hear me out. I think you and Savior should go talk to Ian, together. Tell him about your relationship, tell him about the baby, and tell him how you both feel about the situation. You don’t have to hide your relationship from Ian and you don’t have to hide your love for Ian from Savior. Savior can love you in a way Ian can’t right now, and his heart is big enough to love you, your children, and Ian.”
“Damn, you’re good,” I blurted causing her to smile.
She waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t know about all that, but I hope I was able to help. Now this last part is my personal opinion and that’s mainly because I don’t have a professional opinion to offer on this particular topic. About your son calling Savior ‘daddy,’ I don’t think you should address it unless it happens again. At that point—and you’re probably not going to like this—I think you should let the two of them discuss what they’re comfortable with. Savior may not like it or Braxton may have simply made a mistake. In other words, don’t stress over it right now. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is.”
“Well, I definitely agree with you there.”
47
Savior
I was almost finished with my lunch when Copper, Judge, and Batta walked into the diner. Copper handed the waitress a wad of cash and said, “This should be more than enough to cover the tab. Keep whatever’s left.” Directing his attention to the rest of us, he barked, “Outside,” before spinning on his heel and heading to the parking lot.
I swallowed my last bite of food, washed it down with a huge gulp of sweet tea, and rushed to get my ass outside to find out what in the hell was going on. They were back much sooner than any of us expected.
In the far corner of the parking lot, we huddled around the SUV for an impromptu Church. “After briefly speaking with Luca and two of his associates, he felt it would be better to discuss the details somewhere with more privacy. I completely agreed with him until he suggested we continue our m
eeting at his estate. He understood my concern and assured me he was not looking for trouble with our club. As a show of good faith, he agreed to allow us to keep our weapons, but we can’t take our cell phones and will have to consent to being searched for a wire. Coal, Spazz, and Grant will stay back in case shit does go south. Y’all head to the Croftridge clubhouse. Phoenix is expecting you. As for everyone else, let’s roll.”
“Prez,” I called out. “I rode in the SUV with Grant.”
“Shit. You take the SUV. Grant, you’re gonna have to ride bitch with Coal.”
Coal grimaced, but Grant didn’t utter a word. When I watched him climb on the back of Coal’s bike backwards, I laughed so hard my side started to hurt. Coal pulled out of the lot behind Spazz and Grant gave us a one-finger salute.
On the drive to Luca’s estate, I thought about calling Avery. I didn’t want to interrupt if she was in the middle of talking to Harper, but I wanted to check on Braxton and make sure she was okay. I convinced myself that Claire would have called me if something was really wrong. Instead, I called the hospital to check on Sienna and breathed a sigh of relief when the nurse told me she was fine.
Ten minutes after I ended the call, we pulled through the gates and followed the long, tree-lined drive to the sprawling, brick mansion situated amid a perfectly landscaped lawn that looked completely out-of-place in the middle of what should be a forest.
I followed my brothers to the front door, feeling extremely thankful that Copper knew what in the hell he was doing. Had I been in charge, I would’ve looked like a fumbling idiot. Instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking on the front door, Copper stood tall and stared at the door as if he was willing it to open. Moments later, we were greeted by Luca’s butler and shown to a conference room in the east wing of the house.
“Mr. Peccati will be in momentarily,” he said and began pouring glasses of water for each of us.
I eyed the glass placed in front of me suspiciously. He could easily poison us all in one fell swoop. I wanted to laugh when every other brother in the room did the same thing.
Five men entered the room; one sat at the head of the table with a man to his left and one to his right while the other two remained by the door. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Luca Peccati. These are my business associates, Piero and Cristofano.”
After Copper introduced those of us who didn’t attend the earlier meeting, Luca began, “I hope I haven’t caused you any inconvenience in requesting we discuss matters in a more private location. You understand how these things can be.”
Copper nodded in agreement. “We do.”
“Allow me to save you some time. If my information is correct, my nephew and his girlfriend have wronged a member of your club and his family. As I understand it, this is the same as having wronged a member of your own family, no?”
“That is correct,” Copper said, seemingly unsurprised by Luca’s knowledge of the situation.
“And you want to know if I was aware of their misdeeds?” Luca asked with an arched brow.
Copper leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He pinned Luca with a glacial stare but didn’t utter a word.
Luca nodded to himself. “As I suspected. I can assure you and your associates, Mr. Black, that I was not aware of Todd’s activities, and for that, I do apologize. My sister’s stepson has been…difficult for our family. I have tolerated his behavior out of respect and love for her. But, his most recent behavior is inexcusable.”
Luca glanced at Piero, then Cristofano, and exhaled slowly. “Gentleman, if you’ll accompany me to the basement.”
“Excuse me?” Copper asked.
Luca held out his hands. “I wish to make things right with you and your men. I cannot do so in this area of my home.”
Copper gave a slight jerk of his chin and stood. The rest of us got to our feet and silently followed five mafia men to the basement.
It took everything I had to hide my reaction when my eyes landed on the two bodies in the basement. Todd Russo was hanging from the ceiling by his wrists and Kelly was tied to a chair with a gag in her mouth.
“My associates and I have already questioned them. They were very forthcoming with their answers, but you’re welcome to ask any questions you may have.”
Copper glanced back to me. I cleared my throat and glared at Kelly. “I want to know why.”
Piero untied Kelly’s gag and she immediately began screaming demands. “Get me out of here, Kellan! I’m going to have all of your asses when I tell my father about what you’ve done!”
Kelly continued with her bullshit until Piero silenced her by slamming the handle of his gun into the side of her head. “Perhaps it’d be better if you told them,” he suggested to Luca.
Luca nodded. “Ms. Vayer became involved with Mark Pruitt after my nephew was arrested by him for driving under the influence and possession of illegal drugs. The three of them came up with a plan to steal money from me, as well as Mr. Ward. Essentially, Kelly stole one of my license plates in hopes to implicate me in the death of Kellan Ward, and in turn, blackmail me to clear my name. Upon Kellan’s death, Kelly would have collected your life insurance money and the remainder of your trust fund, as she is listed as the beneficiary.”
I snorted derisively. “That dumb cunt. I changed that shit the day we separated.”
“Yes, well, clearly she didn’t think of that,” Luca said in disgust.
“But why did they target Claire?” I asked.
Luca grimaced. “I’m afraid this part will be unpleasant to hear. To ensure she received all of your money, Kelly needed to be the sole beneficiary. She mistook Mrs. Cameron for Mrs. Parker.”
I heard every word he said, but it took a moment or two for it to fully register in my head. “You mean she was trying to kill my unborn child!” I roared.
Batta’s hand landed on one shoulder while Judge’s landed on the other. “Easy, brother. Rein it in.”
“And Todd’s role in all of this?” Copper asked while I fumed.
Luca almost snarled at the mention of his nephew. “He’s a lazy little shit who thinks he’s entitled to the finer things in life simply because his father married a Peccati. I had already reached my limit of patience with him, but he will no longer be a part of this family because he broke the most valued rule—he betrayed us. He plotted against me, he conspired with a police officer, and he almost started a war with you and your club by attempting to kill one of your members.” He shook his head. “Greed has been the downfall of many men.”
Kelly regained consciousness and started screaming behind her gag that had thankfully been replaced.
Luca clapped his hands together. “Well, no sense in dragging this out longer than necessary. I do apologize, but out of respect for my sister, Todd must be dealt with by me. I hope you understand,” he said and fired one round into Todd’s forehead while he kept his eyes trained on Copper.
Luca held the gun out to Copper. “But, you may do with her as you wish.”
Copper’s eyes flicked to mine and I nodded once. Luca held the gun out to me. “I prefer you to use this one. It will be disposed of with the bodies.”
I took the gun and let the rage I had been holding back consume me. “I never hated you. Until today. You tried to kill the woman I love and my unborn child for what? Purses and shoes? Yeah, burn in hell, cunt,” I said and squeezed the trigger hitting her in the chest. I didn’t want her death to be immediate. I wanted her to spend her last few moments knowing she was paying the ultimate price for her selfishness.
48
Avery
After my session with Harper was over, I stayed at the clubhouse for a few more hours to help her and Leigh prepare a few freezer meals before Leigh drove me home. She apologized again for deceiving me, but I assured her I understood. And I did.
When I got out of Leigh’s car, I walked into my garage and sent a text to my parents letting them know I was going to see Sienna before I came inside. I knew
Riley and Braxton would want to go visit as well, but I tried to limit the amount of times I allowed them to visit because their excitement could be overwhelming at times.
I was happy to see Karen was assigned to Sienna for the day. We worried much less about our little girl when she was in Karen’s care. “How’s my girl today?” I asked after washing my hands.
“She’s doing good. We decreased her oxygen again. So far, she’s not had any issues.” She filled me in on a few other details and the plan for the week while she helped us get settled in the rocking chair. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you,” I said and focused my attention on the little bundle in my arms. I rocked slowly and let my thoughts go down whatever path they chose while I cradled her against my chest.
“Mommy is not going to play the ‘what-if’ game any more,” I said quietly. “I can’t change the past, so there’s no point in trying to guess what the future would’ve been. Things happened, and they happened for a reason. And you wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t happened. So, Mommy is making you a promise right here and now. I’m not going to play that game again, and I’m going to work on accepting the things that happened and finding a way to be happy. But no matter what, I will always love you and your daddy will, too.”
After my visit with Sienna, I headed back to my house. I needed to get dinner started for my parents and the kids and I had tons of laundry to do before they went back to school.
“Mommy, where’s Kellan?” Braxton asked when we all sat down to dinner.
“He had to do something with Copper today,” I lied.
“He’s going to miss dinner,” Riley cried.
“I’ll put something in the fridge for him,” I assured her.
“But he’s always here for dinner,” Braxton pouted.
“Listen, kids, I know you’ve gotten used to Kellan being around, but he’s getting better and will be going back to work soon, so he’s going to—”
Savior (Blackwings MC - Devil Springs Book 3) Page 23