Riddley Walker

by Russell Hoban

  Theres figgers in that bag you never seen in a show. You get to wunnering if you gone down deap a nuff in that bag if you mytnt get right the way down to Bad Time and fynd out all what realy happent. Theres Eusas 2 boys in there I never seen them befor. Cant say for cern its them but I lissen it is. 1 has red eyes 1 has yeller. Them 2 pairs of eyes wide open all them years in the dark inside that bag. Dogs. Folleree and Folleroo with ther toofy joars opening and closing they want to talk like men.

  1 figger tho. 1 figger hes the same and very 1 in boath bags of figgers. Mr Clevver. Which hes Mr On The Lewil and hes callit Drop John as wel. There he is the name changes but he dont. In all that 2ness there he comes up hes the 1. Hes your lad for clevver work or Drop Johning which ever myt be neadit there he is the boath of him plus the goast of him. Same red face and littl black beard and the same horns growing out of his head. Same red does even. All them diffrent figgers in the 2 bags only he aint diffrent hes the same. You begin to wunner myt he be the 1 Big 1 of it? Or the 1 Littl 1 of it. Or may be there aint no such thing as a Big 1 or a Littl 1 its jus only all 1 and you see what diffrent things you see in the chaynjing lites of the diffrent times of the girt dants of the every thing. Sum tyms bytin sum tyms bit.

  If youre a show man then what ever happens is took in to your figgers and your fit up its took in to your show. If you dont know whats happent sooner youwl hear of it later youwl hear your figgers tel of it 1 way or a nother. That boar kicking on the end of my spear hewl be in my shows I dont know how but hewl be there. That crow what callit, ‘Fall! Fall! Fall!’ and my smasht father that greyling morning at Widders Dump and that old leader with his yeller eyes and woar down teef. Gransers head glimmering in the twean lite and Goodparley sitting qwyet in amongst the black and nekkit aulders loppt off pink and red in the hart of his wud with the stoan in his head and the twean lite holding its breaf and lissening. In amongst it all the thot of may be I wer the aulder kincher. May be the idear of it ben waiting all them years for me to come a long and be it.

  Wel of coarse there wer the matter of letshow. We dint know if that care making Mincery wer going to let us run luce with our fit up and our 2 bags of figgers. We pult datter and we pirntowt we wer roading Goodparleys show which he ben give letshow by Orfing in that littl time when Orfing ben Goodparley. So there wer letshow on that fit up which that wer good a nuff for us. If them guvner men thot diffrent wewd parbly fynd out soon a nuff.

  So we got our selfs ready and off we gone with our fit up and our figgers and our dog crowd. It wer in boath our mynds to do our 1st show at Weaping Form which that ben Bad Mercy Fents time back it ben Goodparleys hoam fents when he ben littl. Its about the same farness from Cambry as How Fents only its Wes of Cambry and its wel Wes of the Sour its on the A251 2 or 3 faggers Norf of Moal Arse. Its on the track to Fathers Ham which roun there its hard line Eusa country moren some other places are. Some say Mr Clevver use to live in Fathers Ham befor he come to Cambry.

  Any how here we come out of Cambry on a grey day with a littl girzel and roading Wes for Weaping on the old iron track. Dogs strung out in parper roading form the nation they all ways had a cuppl in the poynt plus 2 on each wing them dogs are real hevvys. I askit Erny if he dint think we bes proach up to that gate without no dogs and say we forkt off from a trade crowd or some thing. He wernt having none of that he said, This here aint Goodshow & Slymouf its Walker & Orfing. We myswel begin how we are and go on the same.’

  Coming in to Weaping we blowit the horn from a littl way off we dint blow ‘Eusa show’ becaws it wernt no Eusa show. We blowit a diffrent call which we meant it to say ‘New show’. When we come up to the fents the dogs layd back out of bow shot but there they wer you cud see wed roadit in with them. Come to the gate I fealt like I wer seeing it mor with my stummick nor my eyes you know how it is some times when you come to a thing. You ben coming littl by littl from far to close and littl by littl you seen it growing from littl to big in your eyes then all on a suddn there it is in front of you and this is now and you feal it in your stummick. There we wer and this wer now I lookit up and I said, ‘Trubba not its a new show.’ Tryd to make it soun like ‘Eusa show’ but you cant realy.

  The bloak on the gate he took a long look without saying nothing then his head dispeart. In a littl his head come back and some others with it. 1 of them hyern the others and some grey in his beard so I said it agen to him, ‘Trubba not tsnew show.’ Like that.

  He come back at me with a girt deap voyce he said, ‘When Eusa come back to Cambry he wer blyn and bloody he stood outside the gate and the dogs licking his soars. Them on the gate they larft at him they said, “Why dont you say ‘Trubba not’ if you want in?” Wel we know Eusa cudnt say “Trubba not” cud he. Becaws wel he knowit he had Trubba roaling off him like sweat in the summer he had Trubba ponging off him you cud smel it from a good farness even up wind of him he dint try no goodshow he jus said strait out, “I cant say that.” Now here comes you I know you aint Eusa nor you aint blyn nor bloody yet here I see you roading with dogs and roading with him what ben shadder mincer and Pry Mincer and now hes no mincer. Which youve said “Trubba not” and may be you beleave you aint brung no Trubba with you only I aint too cern of that my self. What about that no mincer can he talk ord they cut his tung out when they throwit him a way after he brung down Abel Goodparley?’

  Orfing said, ‘I can talk Rightway.’ Which that wer the name of the Big Man we wer talking to. Rightway Flinter.

  Rightway Flinter said, ‘Wel then if you can talk praps youwl be good a nuff and tel me if you can say “Trubba not”. You what brung down the bigger man and better you what ternt the crookit luce and now youve got your new boy and your dog crowd. This here partner of yours hes said “Trubba not” hes greasd my surents now I dont have to worry about nothing no mor. Now whatre you going to say be you going to Trubba not me as wel?’

  Erny said, ‘No Rightway I cant say “Trubba not”. Parbly weare Trubba right a nuff.’

  Flinter said, ‘There you be Erny out of your oan mouf youve said it and I think Iwl yes with that. Poor old blyn Goodparley and a old chard coal berner gone bang the 1st in Inland since time back way back. 1 minim they wer men and the nex they wer peaces of meat nor it wernt done by knife nor spear nor arrer nor sling stoan it wer clevverness done it and the 1 Big 1. That old chard coal berners head took off strait up like a sky lark only parbly not singing. Up it gone and down it come thwock on a poal and ripe for telling. Goodparley sitting there dead with a stoan pounder in his skul. You myt say after all them years of looking for that 1 Big 1 it finely come in to his mynd. Twean lite it wer when it happent. Dark of the moon when the dark come down and the Black Pack yoop yarooing all roun. 1st big bang since Bad Time and who ternt it luce who put that 1 Big 1 on the road to this place and every other place?’ He wer looking strait at me.

  Erny said, ‘It bint the 1 Big 1 it ben the 1 Littl 1. Which youre looking at Riddley Walker but it bint him ternt it luce it wer a farring seakert tryer from other side and looking to goatch the wayt he wer looking to bargam a seakert gready mint for the Nos. of the mixter. Which Ice his boat gratit on the shingel that 1 Littl 1 wer luce in Inland it wer on the road to blow up some 1 and you cud be sure some 1 wer roading fas to be there when it come.’

  Flinter said, ‘It dint have to be Abel Goodparley did it?’

  Erny said, ‘Rightway Iwl tel you what I think Iwl tel you what I pirntow from my unnermos datter. If it hadnt ben the 1 Littl 1 kilt Abel Goodparley it wudve ben some thing else becaws it wer his time and come. That man wer pulling he wer fetching he wer sucking in his Luck he wer wynding in the end of his life like a kid wynding in a kite.’

  Flinter looking at Erny hard and he said, ‘Wel youwd say that wunt you. You what brung him down.’ He wer pulling his beard you cud hear his thots grynding in his head like mil stoans.

  Erny said, ‘Wel Rightway whats it going to be? Be you going to put on your wig and hold the bailey and pour the ounts of judgd men or you going to let wes
ter day go down and ter morrer come up?’

  Flinter said, ‘O ter morrerwl come up Erny. Ter morrer all ways comes up the thing is to be 1 of them as comes up with it.’

  Us stanning there in front of that gate nor it cudnt get no bigger realy only it kep like biggering in my eyes. Them dark heads and the grey sky behynt them. There come up then 2 mor heads it wer Granser and Goodparley. They ben smoakit like roady ther faces wer dark. Tree faces stoan faces. Wood faces.

  I have to stop here for a littl.

  18

  All them heads looking at us the live Is on the peopl and the dead Is on the poals. Rightway Flinter said, ‘You know these heads ben telling.’

  Erny and me we dint say nothing. I tryd to lissen that black leader I tryd to put my mynd where he cud lissen me. I dont know what I thot he cud do only come in to bow shot and get his self kilt. He lissent me tho. He begun to yoop yaroo and all them other dogs the same. The woal pack yoop yarooing.

  The hevvys on the gate uppit bow at us with arrer on string. Rightway Flinter said, ‘You know these heads ben telling.’

  I thot: Whyd we come here? Id knowit some kynd of thing like this myt happen. Whynt we stay hoalt up? Whynt we go somers far a way? Becaws you cant stay hoalt up. Becaws there aint no far a way. Becaws where you happen is where you happen.

  Rightway Flinter said, ‘You know these heads ben telling. And you know what they ben telling. They ben telling of Eusa how he gone that circel of the towns after Bad Time. Him what done the clevver work for Bad Time.’

  Erny said, ‘You know Rightway we aint Eusa. Youwl go a head and youwl do what youre progammit to do only dont tel your self weare Eusa becaws we aint.’

  Flinter said, ‘Wel Erny you myt terpit your way but Iwl terpit my way and parbly my waywl be the Rightway wunt you say.’

  Erny kep shut then he dint say nothing.

  Flinter said, ‘Theres all ways some kynd of clevverness waiting somers near or far its all ways waiting to happen its all ways waiting for some 1 to pul it some 1 to fetch it some 1 to bring it down on the res of us. And them what fetches it who ever they myt be theyre Eusa. If its 1 or if its many dont make no odds. Its Eusa. Which time back way back every place as seen Eusa helt the bailey dint they. Every 1 as seen him pourt the ounts of judgd men dint they. Howd Eusa come back to Cambry he come back blyn and bloody he come back cut off he wernt a man no mor he wer what wer lef. You see what it wer hed had his chylding when he ben littl hed had his manning when he ben big. And whatd he do with his manning? He done clevverness and fetching the same. So he had to pay for it dint he. All them what dyd when the wite shadders come they payd dint they. All them what ther seed gone crookit when the groun gone sour they payd dint they. You see what it is Erny youve got to pay for 1 thing befor you go on to the nex. You and your yung partner here youre Eusa which of coarse youve got your chaynjis to go thru youve got things youwd like to do nex only befor you get to them youwl have to pay for the las things what you done.’

  I had all of Goodparleys figgers in the fit up only Punch which he wer in my pockit. Not the old blackent 1 it wer Goodparleys Punch I had. Which I had the swazzl in my pockit as wel and when wed come up to Weaping gate Id put it in my mouf and wetting it I thot Mr Punch myt have some thing to say.

  I ternt my back to the gate and Mr Punch come up looking at them over my sholder. He wer waving his stick he made his cock fessin noys. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr. He said, ‘Ah putcha putcha putcha.’ Which he begun to beat me with his stick. Them on the gate begun to larf. I cud feal ther eyes on Punch and I wer hoaping hewd say some thing funny. He dint tho. He stoppit beating me and he wer looking up at them. He wer staring at them and waving his stick. Dint say a word. Dogs ben yoop yarooing the woal time til then. Now they stoppt suddn and in jumpt the sylents. Them on the gate looking at Punch and Punch staring back and waving his stick. Not saying a word. Dead men in my mynd.

  Nex there come Rightway Flinters voyce he said, ‘You myswel come in and do your show. Whats on you is on you. I wont bring nothing down on this crowd.’

  So we dint dy at Weaping Form nor we dint get cut off nor blyndit. We livet and we kep our eyes and our cocks and balls that time any how. What the nex time wil bring no 1 cant never say.

  We tol them it wernt no Eusa show nor we dint think we shud do no wotcher only ther connexion man Deaper Flinter he wer Rightways brother he said they wunt let us show without we wotchert 1st. So we got our hash and rizlas only diffrents wer he said if it wernt no Eusa show we shunt get the woal wotcher. He give us 1 cut hash and 25 rizlas each in stead of 2 cuts hash and 50 then he said ther meat our meat and the res of it.

  There we wer then. Hard to beleave it. Stil a live and the torches shimmying for us. Shimmering and glimmering. All fittit up and the crowd waiting for what wer coming. All the seanyer members of the form in front plus the regenneril guvner man from the Ram his name wer Riser Partman. Erny out in front for the patter and me looking out thru the back clof.

  They wer mummering in the front row it wer about the show talk. Deaper Flinter said it wernt right doing the Eusa show talk if it wernt no Eusa show. Which Rightway Flinter said there wernt going to be no show without no show talk not wylst he wer Big Man any how. Then Deaper said wel what shud he say when he done the show talk shud he say ‘Down that road with Eusa’? Which Rightway said he shud jus say what he all ways said and les get on with it. Which Deaper said Rightway cud do what he liket only he wernt going to say the name of Eusa if it wernt no Eusa show. Then Rightway said he dint care what Deaper said only les get on with the show befor the torches bernt out.

  Deaper stanning up then he said to the crowd, ‘Now this here show what weare going to see it aint no Eusa show its some kynd of a new show.’

  Then there come some mummering.

  Deaper said, ‘So les keap in mynd now wylst weare doing this show talk weare leaving Eusa out of it.’

  There come a hevvy mans voyce from the crowd it said, ‘You bes go careful Deaper.’

  Deaper said, ‘I am going careful nor I dont nead no 1 to tel me do I.’

  The same voyce said, ‘Wel if you think you can leave Eusa out of any thing you aint going careful youre going foolish.’

  Rightway Flinter then he ternt roun he said to that bloak, ‘Easyer you neadnt to worry over our connexion man going foolish wylst Im Big Man. What you nead to worry over is if your joars as hard as my fis.’

  Easyer gone qwyet then only you cud hear some shiffing roun and some breaving and sying.

  Deaper finely begun his show talk then he said to the crowd, ‘Weare going aint we.’

  They said, ‘Yes weare going.’

  He said, ‘Down that road.’

  They waitit for them other 2 words which them words dint come.

  Then there come Easyers voyce loud and clear he said, ‘With Eusa.’

  Then the res of them said, ‘With Eusa time and reqwyrt.’

  Deaper said, ‘Where them Chaynjis take us.’

  They said, ‘He done his time wewl do our time.’

  Deaper said, ‘Showing for us.’ In stead of ‘Hes doing it for us.’

  They said, ‘Hes doing it for us weare doing it for him.’

  Deaper said, ‘Keap it going. Chances this time.’

  They said, ‘Chances nex time.’

  Deaper said, ‘New chance every time.’

  They said, ‘New chance every time.’

  Easyer said, ‘With Eusa.’

  Rightway Flinter clincht his fis only he dint tern roun nor say nothing. He noddit to Erny and me.

  Erny come over to the fit up he said, ‘Wel whos coming up to show then?’

  It seamt like I had too much breaf in me I musve ben holding it. I had to breave out a littl befor Punch cud say any thing. Then he said, ‘Ah putcha putcha putcha. Ah putcha putcha way.’ He dint come up he jus stayd down and said that.

  Erny said, ‘Whos that talking is that Mr Salty from Salt Town or who is it?’

  Punch said, ‘Thats me Im Old Man
Salty from Salt Town which Ive got the stick to prove it.’

  Erny said, ‘Salt aint sticky.’

  Punch said, ‘May be Im honey then whynt you lick my stick and fynd out?’

  Erny said, ‘This aint that kynd of a show. Wud you tel me Mr Salty whatd you mean with all that putcha putcha putcha?’

  Punch said, ‘I aint Mr Salty realy that aint my name.’

  Erny said, ‘Whats your name then?’

  Punch comes up then hes swanking hes zanting a bout hes waving his stick. Soons he comes in site you cud hear some breaf took in sharp you cud hear a littl sylents then Easyers voyce come strong he said, ‘That figgers crookit.’ Funny. Them bloaks on the gate when we 1st come to Weaping they hadnt said nothing. Wel stranger hevvyswl do that some times. Jus not give you no word nor syn what ever. This crowd tho they wer giving words a nuff and syns in plenny. A womans voyce said, ‘You know theres women here and carrying.’ Which there come some shuffling and that musve ben them carrying women carrying ther selfs out.

  Easyer ups his voice agen he says, ‘If that aint sucking in your Luck I dont know what is. Bringing a crookit show like that in to your hoam form.’

  Rightway Flinter he says, ‘You know Easyer theres moren 1 kynd of crookit. Theres crookit on the out side and theres crookit on the in side. Which Im beginning to think may be this here humpy figger is some kynd of a nindicater.’ He says, ‘Walker & Orfing you carry on with this here show.’

  Erny says to Punch, ‘Wel Mr Salty if your name aint Salty what is it then?’

  Punch says, ‘Come closer and Iwl tel you what it rimes with.’

  Erny comes closer and Punch gives him a smart whack with his stick. Whack! Erny jumps a way he says, ‘Ow! Youve give me a whack.’