by Jae
So Dawn hadn't told her colleagues how close their "friendship" really was. Aiden nodded at the office manager. "You said she was on her way out?"
"She wanted to leave half an hour ago, but I think she fell asleep on her own couch." Mrs. Phillips leaned over her desk to whisper conspiratorially, "She seemed a bit upset after her last session."
Upset? Aiden frowned. I hope they didn't have her counsel a rape victim again! "Can I...?" She pointed at the door to Dawn's office.
"Yes, of course. Now that you're here, I'll leave for the day. I waited because I didn't want her to have to walk out alone after... well, you know what happened to her." Mrs. Phillips looked at her with sad eyes.
Another surprise. Dawn had obviously told her colleagues about her rape. It continued to amaze Aiden how open Dawn was about it. She knew it wasn't easy for her, but Dawn forced herself to talk about it and set an example for other victims, encouraging them to speak up about what had happened to them. "That's very kind of you. I appreciate it." Aiden gave Mrs. Phillips a sincere nod. It felt good to know the people around Dawn cared about her and looked after her when Aiden couldn't be there to do it.
She left the reception area behind and quietly slipped into Dawn's office. The room was almost dark, just one single standard lamp throwing its light onto the unmoving form on the couch.
Dawn was stretched out on the small couch, her blouse wrinkled and her hair falling in disarray around her face. Her shoes were next to the couch, leaving her feet bare, and her skirt had slipped halfway up her thighs.
Aiden quietly sat down on one of the beanbags and watched Dawn sleep.
Suddenly, a jerk went through Dawn's slender body. Her eyes snapped open as if she had somehow sensed the intruder in the quiet room.
"Hey, sweetheart, it's me, Aiden," Aiden announced herself immediately, not wanting Dawn to be afraid for even a single second.
Dawn sat up and sleepily rubbed her eyes.
Aiden smiled as she watched her. God, she's adorable. She wanted to cross the room and kiss her awake, but she was determined never to ambush Dawn again while she wasn't fully awake.
"You don't have to add your name," Dawn said when she was awake enough for decent conversation. "Currently, there's only one woman – except for my mother – who would call me 'sweetheart.'"
"Currently?" Aiden lifted a teasing eyebrow as she sat down on the couch next to Dawn.
Without hesitation, Dawn leaned against her shoulder and buried her face against Aiden's neck.
Aiden closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the sleepy warmth and innocent trust that Dawn radiated. What she and Dawn shared was so different from the things she experienced at work, and she didn't know how she had ever lived without it. "Hey, sweetie." She wrapped both arms around Dawn. "Everything all right?"
She felt Dawn nod against her.
"Really? Mrs. Phillips said there was a session that seemed to upset you." Aiden looked down at the woman in her arms. She wasn't used to Dawn being reluctant to talk about what troubled her. "I know you have to keep confidentiality and can't talk about details, but can you tell me why that patient's case is hitting you so hard?"
"It's not a patient," Dawn said. She sat up but took care to stay within Aiden's embrace.
Aiden frowned. "No? But Mrs. Phillips said..."
"It was a co-vision session," Dawn explained. "That's like supervision, only with a colleague instead of someone with more experience. We normally meet twice a month to talk about tough cases or issues from our private lives that influence our work."
Aiden instantly wondered about what "issues" Dawn might talk during these sessions, but then shoved the thought aside. "What was so troubling about today's session?" she asked, rubbing Dawn's back.
"This colleague, she's a friend of mine," Dawn said. "We've known each other since college, but she went into police psychology."
"Uh, a department shrink!"
The playful expression of horror on Aiden's face made Dawn laugh, and Aiden answered the smile with one of her own.
"Don't act as if I just told you she was a professional torturer!" Dawn pinched her playfully, but then the serious expression returned to her face. "My friend is having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that she's falling in love again."
"What's so troubling about falling in love?" Aiden asked. "I, for my part, enjoy being in love very much."
Dawn pressed her lips to Aiden's for a second. "She lost her husband, a cop, just a year ago."
"Oh. And now she's probably feeling guilty about falling in love with another man, huh?" Aiden had seen it with the wives of colleagues who had died in the line of duty before. "I can imagine it's very hard for her, but if something happened to me, I wouldn't want you to stay alone for the rest of your life."
She felt Dawn clutch at her shoulders, pulling her even closer as if to make sure no one would take Aiden from her. "Would you want me to spend it with Ray?" she asked after a while.
"Uh... Ray? Why Ray? Is there something going on between you and my partner that I should know about?" Aiden asked with a mock stern gaze.
"No." Dawn slapped her on the shoulder. "But that friend of mine... she thinks she's falling in love with her late husband's partner on the force."
"Oh." Aiden tried to imagine what that must feel like for both of them.
"His female partner," Dawn added.
Aiden exhaled sharply. "Wow. What's that saying? If you think shrinks don't have problems, you're crazy." She whistled and shook her head. "I can easily see why that would give your colleague some sleepless nights, but why is it upsetting you so much?"
Dawn ran a hand through her tangled hair. "My friend is dealing with a lot of different issues at once – falling in love with a woman after a lifetime of nothing but heterosexual relationships, feeling guilty for loving anyone but her dead husband, and she's also very afraid to open herself up to loving a cop again. I'm over the first one, luckily didn't have to deal with the second one, but the third issue is something that hits a little too close to home," she quietly admitted.
A sudden feeling of guilt knotted Aiden's stomach. She didn't know what to say, realizing there wasn't anything she could say to allay Dawn's fears.
"I lost my father and my brother to their jobs; I had to visit my ex-husband in the hospital twice during our marriage, and I don't even want to think about how I felt when Del told me you had been shot. I know how very real the dangers of being on the job are," Dawn said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought about it a lot during the last few months, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I picked an art gallery owner for my second relationship. The worst that ever happened to Maggie at work was having paint spilled all over her designer clothes."
Aiden nodded thoughtfully. She had only met Dawn's ex-girlfriend once, but she had noticed right away that she and Maggie couldn't be more different and still belong to the same species. Maggie was sophisticated and elegant. She had never come in contact with the horrors and the violence that were a part of Aiden's life.
Until now, she hadn't given a lot of thought to what might have attracted Dawn to the gallery owner. Maggie Forsyth was breathtakingly gorgeous after all, so she hadn't searched for other explanations. Part of the attraction was Maggie not being a cop, Aiden suddenly understood. Dawn needed to have someone in her life who couldn't be taken from her in the blink of an eye. Aiden cleared her throat. "I know my job scares you, and I'm sorry you have to go through all the worrying again. But... that's what I do. It's who I am. I can't just turn in my badge because –"
"And I don't want you to," Dawn said quickly. "But I think it's time for us to deal with some hard realities."
Hard realities? Aiden didn't like the sound of that. They had dealt with a lot during the last few weeks, and she was ready to just have some fun and enjoy the good times for a while. Apparently not tonight. "What do you mean?" she asked reluctantly.
"You could be hurt in the line of duty again," Dawn said, staring down at
the gun Aiden still wore on her hip. "Or worse. We haven't prepared for that possibility in any way."
"Prepare?" Aiden repeated, not quite sure how she could prepare herself for being shot other than making sure to wear her bullet-resistant vest.
Dawn nodded, finally looking up from the badge and the gun on Aiden's belt. "We can't get married, and the law doesn't protect our relationship. We have to do it. Otherwise, if anything happened to you, I'd be treated like a complete stranger with no right to visit you or make any decisions for you."
Aiden had never thought about things like that. Up until a few months ago, she'd never had a reason to. There had never been a woman she wanted to have any long-term rights in her life. Now she had Dawn.
"There's a lot to think about," Dawn continued. "Right now, it's just the two of us, but what if we decide we want to have a child... or even more than one?"
Aiden could only sit and stare at her. Her head was spinning. I came here to ask her out to a nightclub, and she's talking about having children. We're clearly not on the same page tonight. "I'll ask around," she promised vaguely. "Maybe Kade knows a lawyer who specializes in gay rights."
Dawn nodded, stood, and smiled down at Aiden. She seemed to sense that Aiden wasn't up for tackling all these difficult issues tonight. "So, what brings you to my humble workplace tonight? Not a relapse into your Xena persona again?"
"No. Tonight, I'm searching for a Cinderella who will go out and dance with me 'til the midnight hour," Aiden said with a grin. "Or do you still have some peas and lentils to sort out?" She nodded at the files on Dawn's desk.
"The peas and lentils could wait, but I don't think I'm up for going to a club tonight. Frankly, I'm exhausted and just want to curl up on my couch for a while," Dawn said, guiltily looking up at Aiden from under honey-colored lashes. "But if you're willing to take a rain check, I'd be willing to make room on the couch for you."
Aiden nodded slowly. Curling up on the couch with Dawn was a nice thought even if it wasn't what she wanted tonight.
Dawn tilted her head and looked up into Aiden's eyes, studying her intently. "If you really want to go, I'll come with you," she offered.
Now Aiden was the one to stare into Dawn's eyes. With a frown she realized they had never been to a club together. Dawn hadn't gone out to a club or a gay bar since she had been raped, and she was clearly not up to making that difficult step after her hard day at work. "You know what? Curling up on the couch with you sounds like a perfect evening." I'll just go on an extra long run tomorrow morning. That should take care of any excess energy, Aiden decided.
* * *
Dawn woke with a frown. The space next to her in the bed was cold and empty. "Aiden?" she called and sat up, rubbing her eyes.
Aiden stepped out of the bathroom, already dressed in her running clothes. "Hey, good morning." She bent down and gently kissed Dawn.
Closing her eyes, Dawn wrapped her arms around the strong neck and tried to drag Aiden back into the bed. She had missed cuddling with Aiden in the mornings during their busy week.
"Ah, ah!" Aiden gently resisted. "Come on, lazybones, get out of bed and come running with me!"
Dawn nestled herself deeper into the warmth of the covers. Today was her day off, and she didn't want to start it by running around the park like some lunatic. She didn't want to start her day at all. Not before ten o'clock. "Running? Me?" She shook her head. "I'm not a runner. If you want somebody to accompany you on your morning runs, you should get a dog or find yourself another girlfriend."
Black hair fell onto Aiden's forehead as she shook her head. "Considering the hours I work, getting a dog wouldn't be fair to the poor animal, and I'm quite satisfied with the girlfriend I have, thank you very much – except for her lack of willingness to go on a run with me," Aiden said with a challenging grin.
"Hey, maybe you could convince Del to be your running partner!" Dawn sat up with a bright grin. She had tried for months to come up with something that would make her partner and her oldest friend spend some time together but hadn't been very successful at it.
Aiden didn't seem very taken with the idea. "I don't know."
"I know she's always searching for someone who can keep up with her. Unless you think she's out of your league. Del is training for the marathon. That might be a little too much for you." Dawn innocently looked up at Aiden. She knew how competitive Aiden could be, especially when it came to Del.
Aiden folded her arms over her chest. "Give her a call. She's probably not even up yet."
Dawn grinned and reached for her phone. She dialed Del's home number, but only the answering machine picked up, so she tried Del's cell phone. It rang a few times, and Dawn was about to give up when it was finally answered.
"Yeah?" Del's voice was rough as if she had just woken up.
Dawn raised her eyebrows. She's not at home, and she's just waking up? For as long as she had known Del, she had never stayed at anyone's apartment until the next morning. "Del? Did I wake you? Where are you?"
"Grasshopper?" Del cleared her throat. "Is that you?"
Dawn smiled at the old childhood nickname. "Yes. Sorry to wake you."
"You didn't."
"Liar," Dawn said with a smile.
Del chuckled. "It's a good thing you woke me up anyway. I think I was about to be arrested for loitering with intent. There's a uni coming my way who looks like he didn't have his morning coffee yet."
"What? Where are you?" Dawn asked again.
"Enjoying a quiet morning in South Waterfront," Del answered, then Dawn heard her exchange a few words with the uniformed cop she had mentioned.
South Waterfront? As far as Dawn knew, Del had no friends in that neighborhood, and it wasn't exactly close to her apartment in St. Johns. She pressed the receiver against her blanket-covered shoulder for a moment and looked at Aiden. "Where does Kade live?" she asked with sudden inspiration.
"South Waterfront. She has this posh apartment overlooking the marina," Aiden answered, looking up from the task of tying her running shoes. "Why?"
Dawn didn't answer. She was too shocked to find her hunch confirmed. Del had spent the night at Kade Matheson's apartment. Wow! "Del?" she said into the receiver. "Do you want to go for a run?"
"With you?" Del laughed, not even trying to hide her disbelief.
"Thanks," Dawn grumbled. "No, with Aiden."
"Ah." Del was silent for a few seconds. "I thought I'd give it a rest for today and maybe start up again tomorrow."
Dawn drummed her index finger against the receiver. Del didn't seem any more eager than Aiden to spend time together. "Del, I know Aiden is a few years younger than you, but that's no reason why you shouldn't run with her. I could ask her to pace herself if you want." She barely held back a grin, knowing Del would hear it in her voice.
"Tell your sweetheart to have a hearty breakfast. She's gonna need it," Del growled. She gave Dawn the time and place where she would meet Aiden and hung up.
When Dawn replaced the receiver and looked up, Aiden stood there watching her with her hands on her hips. "You have that woman wrapped around your cute little finger," Aiden said, shaking her head.
"Both of you," Dawn corrected with a charming grin. She knew she was shamelessly manipulating Del and Aiden, but they were both too stubborn to spend any time together and get to know each other otherwise. "Aiden, listen. I know I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't get involved, but it would mean a lot to me if Del and you got along."
"We do," Aiden said.
Dawn sighed. Yes, there seemed to be a certain understanding between them – mainly the understanding that each of them would stay out of the other's way. "You're polite strangers with only me and your jobs in common. I want you to be friends. Do you think you could try? For me?"
"For you, I'll even let her win," Aiden promised as she straightened and bounced up and down on the balls of her feet a few times.
"Win?" Dawn echoed. "It's not a competition. You're just gonna keep each other
company on your morning run." She was beginning to think she had made a grave mistake.
* * *
Aiden glanced to her right where Del Vasquez was jogging up the slope next to her. Del wasn't even breathing hard, and her strides were even. Aiden noticed with satisfaction that her own legs still felt strong and her breathing was rhythmic.
They silently ran next to each other for another mile. Their pace wasn't too fast, still neither of them had said a word since the "let's go" when they had met. They were running together, yes, but that wasn't exactly what Dawn had in mind. Come on, you know Dawn is going to ask what you talked about. Just "hi" and "bye" won't cut it.
"How far do you go on your morning runs? Five miles?" she asked.
Del turned her head in Aiden's direction. "Fifteen on most mornings. More than that on the weekends."