by Jae
"It wasn't," Dawn confirmed. "We would have been better off as friends, but I didn't realize that back then. I knew there was something missing, but I didn't have enough experience with men or relationships to know what."
It always humbled Aiden when she remembered that Dawn had only been with two people before her.
"The second year was an emotional hell," Dawn continued, her voice rough and her gaze far away.
Aiden felt herself stiffen. "Why? What happened?" The thought of what Cal might have done to make Dawn's life a living hell made Aiden furious.
"He never laid a hand on me," Dawn said, knowing Aiden well enough to almost read her thoughts. "He just humiliated me and trampled all over my feelings."
"Yet you stayed for another year?" That was a surprise. Dawn had always come across as a person who stood up for herself and never allowed Aiden or anyone else to walk all over her.
Dawn nodded, worrying her lip.
"Why?" Aiden simply asked.
Dawn looked down at their joined hands. "Cal was trying so hard to hold on to what he thought we had, but I had already begun to realize I had feelings for women. I felt so bad for him, so guilty."
Aiden lifted Dawn's hand and kissed the palm, looking at Dawn with compassionate eyes.
Dawn smiled and gently touched Aiden's cheek. "Don't worry. I got over it."
"But your grandmother never learned the reason for your divorce?" Aiden asked.
"She just saw that I wasn't happy with Cal," Dawn said quietly. "That was enough for her. She never asked any questions."
Having a grandmother like that sounded nice, but Aiden still felt unsure about meeting the oldest Kinsley woman. She was a little afraid of being thought of as the "woman who turned my granddaughter gay."
"Ready to go?" Dawn asked.
Aiden wasn't, but she nodded anyway.
* * *
Grace led them into the living room, where a lot of strangers already sat, laughing and talking. Kade didn't know anyone in the room. Del wasn't here yet and neither were Dawn or Aiden. They had been sent to pick up Del for her surprise party.
Kade had never felt uncomfortable at parties. She had learned to make small talk and mingle at her parents' big receptions when she was a child, but this was something else. These people weren't just smiling politely while they nibbled on hors d'oeuvres. They were laughing and hugging and seemed genuinely happy to see one another again.
Kade looked over her shoulder at Laurie, who seemed even more uncomfortable than she was. The girl's blue-eyed gaze was flitting from guest to guest, and her shoulders slouched when she didn't find Evan.
Before Kade could think of something encouraging to say, a girl who looked remarkably like a ten-year-old version of Dawn ran up to Laurie and lured her away with the promise of hot chocolate and ice cream.
Kade watched them go with an amused smile.
"Hello."
Kade turned around at the voice greeting her. A small, gray-haired woman stood in front of her. Her face was weathered and full of wrinkles, and the hand that offered Kade a glass of champagne was mottled, but the old woman's eyes twinkled with life.
"You were looking a little lost, and I thought I'd come over and introduce myself," the old woman explained with a kind smile. "I'm Margot Kinsley."
The gray-haired woman looked nothing like Dawn, but her kindness did remind Kade of Aiden's girlfriend. "You're Dawn's grandmother?"
Margot Kinsley smiled. "Yes. And proud of it. Are you one of Dawn's friends?"
Am I? Kade wondered. "I'd like to think so," she answered and then noticed that she hadn't even introduced herself. A social faux pas like that wouldn't have been tolerated in her parents' home. Margot Kinsley just smiled. "I'm Kade Matheson." She carefully shook the older woman's thin hand.
"Do you work with Dawn?" Margot Kinsley asked.
Kade almost choked on a sip of champagne. "Oh, no. I'm not a psychologist. I work with Aiden. I'm a deputy district attorney."
"Aiden?" The elderly woman cocked her head as if she had never heard that name before.
Is she having problems with her memory? Kade wondered. Then another thought occurred to her, and her eyes widened. Maybe she doesn't know about Aiden! God knows I wouldn't be eager to introduce my girlfriend, should I ever have one, to my family. "Um... she's... another friend," she hastily said.
"Oh." Margot Kinsley looked around but only saw familiar faces. "You'll have to introduce her when she arrives."
Kade avoided an answer by taking another sip of champagne. Oh, no, Dawn can do that on her own. I'm not getting involved in this. I have enough on my plate with my own coming out.
Del's arrival spared Kade from having to answer.
Two dozen guests rushed forward to congratulate and greet a surprised looking Del. Kade stayed back and watched. She had to laugh when Dawn's grandmother hugged Del. With their height difference, Del had to bend far down to be able to hear what Margot Kinsley wanted to whisper in her ear.
When Dawn's grandmother let go of Del, the next guest, a tall, attractive brunette, stepped forward. She enthusiastically threw her arms around Del and wrapped her in a full-body hug.
Kade didn't laugh as she watched this particular hug. The tender kiss Del placed on the younger woman's cheek evoked feelings in Kade she didn't want to examine too closely.
Then Dawn's niece and a blond toddler almost toppled Del over with an exuberant group hug, and Kade lost sight of her in the mass of guests.
"Hey, Kade." Aiden quietly sidled up to her.
"Hi, Aiden." She and Aiden hadn't spent a lot of time together off the clock, but she was glad to see Aiden nonetheless. At least it was one familiar face in the room, and she would also offer a welcome distraction to the sight of the brunette in Del's arms.
"Do you want me to introduce you around?" Aiden asked.
As trained in the art of small talk as she was, Kade didn't feel up for it right now. "No, thanks. I assume Del will want to do that later. Do you know everyone here?" It was hard to believe that the reclusive Aiden Carlisle, who had never had many friends outside of the job and no family, suddenly had a large extended family.
Aiden looked around. "Most of them, yes."
"So who's that?" Kade asked, pointing in the direction of the brunette next to Del as casually as possible.
Aiden turned to look. A knowing grin appeared on her lips. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Kade narrowed her eyes at Aiden. Is she trying to annoy me, or does she want to find out my taste in women? She had to admit that, yes, the brunette was beautiful, but Kade wasn't interested in her. She arched an eyebrow, silently repeating her question.
"That's Eliza," Aiden said, "Dawn's sister-in-law."
"Her sister-in-law?" Kade had always assumed Dawn was an only child. "Dawn has a brother?"
Aiden pressed her lips together. "Had. He died ten years ago."
"Oh." Kade was sad to hear that but glad to realize the brunette was probably just another family member to Del. "So the blond girl who kidnapped Laurie from my side, she really is Dawn's niece?" She now remembered having seen the girl in a photo in Dawn's apartment.
Aiden nodded absently while she looked around the room again.
"What or who are you looking for?" Kade asked. "Dawn?"
"No," Aiden answered, still craning her neck. "Dawn is in the kitchen, helping her mother. I'm looking for Evan."
"You actually convinced her to come?" Kade hadn't thought Aiden would succeed.
Aiden shook her head. "It was Dawn who convinced her. Dawn has a way of talking to her that I still have to master." She sighed. "Did you bring Laurie?"
"Convincing her was actually very easy. I was prepared to dazzle her with a well-thought-out argument about why she should come, but I only had to mention Evan would be here to convince her." Kade smiled wryly.
Aiden smirked. "Well, that's the charm of the Carlisle/Whitfield sisters. Women just can't seem to resist us."
Kade sl
owly raised both eyebrows, looking at Aiden over the rim of her glasses with a gaze that was more than skeptical. "Oh, I think I managed to resist you just fine, Aiden Carlisle."
* * *
"Auntie Aiden! Auntie Aiden!" Dawn's niece practically ran Kade over in her haste to get to Aiden.
"See?" Aiden smirked at Kade as she caught Jamie before she could fall. "What did I tell you about our effect on women?" She leaned down to Jamie. "What's wrong, sweetie?"
"I was playing outside, but my Frisbee got caught in a tree, and I can't get it down!" Jamie gestured wildly. "Can you come and get it down for me, Auntie Aiden?"
Aiden always enjoyed the casualness with which Jamie came to her for help. She loved the honorary aunt title Jamie had bestowed on her – that is until she caught sight of a small, silver-haired woman, who could only be Dawn's grandmother, staring at her.
Oh, shit! Dawn had wanted to tell her grandmother about her sexual orientation and new relationship in a quiet minute, after she had introduced her to Aiden. Now Jamie had inadvertently spilled the beans or at least made it necessary for Aiden to do some quick damage control.
Without looking away from Margot Kinsley, Aiden bent down and told Jamie, "Go ahead. I'll be there in a minute." When Jamie ran off, Aiden straightened and turned to face Dawn's grandmother.
"Hello," Margot Kinsley said with a curious smile. "My great-granddaughter called you 'auntie,' but I'm pretty sure I don't know you. Please tell me I'm not getting so senile that I forgot I have another granddaughter?"
The old woman was clearly kidding. Aiden saw Kade hide a smile behind her hand, but she was too tense to find it funny. She nervously fumbled with the good luck charm she wore on a chain around her neck.
Margot Kinsley's gray eyes widened. She took a step toward Aiden and reached out a trembling hand, almost touching the silver pendant. "Where did you get that?" she asked, her voice a little shrill.
Aiden automatically looked down and stared at Saint Michael, the patron saint of law enforcement. She remembered what Dawn had told her about the good luck charm. It was one of a kind. Dawn's grandmother had it made for her husband, who had been a cop too. Of course Margot Kinsley would recognize the pendant. Oh, shit. How do I explain this?
"I gave it to her for Christmas," Dawn's voice suddenly came from behind Aiden.
Aiden turned, very relieved to see her girlfriend.
Dawn was staring at her grandmother, the plates of food in her hands forgotten. "Aiden is with the Portland Police Bureau too," she said as if that would explain everything.
Her grandmother was still shaking her head in disbelief. "You gave away your grandfather's good luck charm? You know your father wanted to keep it in the family; that's why he gave it to you even though you're not a police officer."
Dawn set down the plates of food on the table before she could drop them. She stepped next to Aiden and laid her palm over the pendant in a gesture so tender and intimate that it made Aiden's cheeks flush. "That's why I gave it to Aiden, Grandma," Dawn said, her voice shaking with tension. "I want her to belong to the family."
Margot Kinsley sighed, then her lips formed an affectionate smile. "You're a good girl, Dawn, and you have your father's big heart. If it's important to you, then I'll consider your friend a part of the family, just as I do Del." She gave Aiden a friendly nod.
Is it really that easy? Aiden looked at Dawn. For a moment, she almost hoped Dawn would leave it at that. Dawn's grandmother would go back to her home in Spokane tomorrow, and Aiden didn't want to cause any trouble between them in the little time Dawn had with her grandmother.
"No. I mean yes, I want you to consider Aiden a part of the family, but not for the reason you think," Dawn said as Aiden had known she would. In matters of the heart, Dawn was so much more courageous than she was. "Aiden is not just any friend to me. She's my girlfriend."
Margot looked from Dawn to Aiden. "Of course she is," she said, clearly not understanding what Dawn was talking about.
"Not a friend who's a girl, Grandma," Dawn explained patiently. Aiden could see the nervousness in Dawn's expression, though. "My girlfriend. The woman I love."
Margot stared at Dawn's hand that still rested over the pendant on Aiden's upper chest. "Oh."
Aiden looked away and rubbed the back of her neck. She could feel the other guests beginning to look over at them. This scene was exactly what she had wanted to avoid.
"You mean... you're... like Del?" Margot asked still wide-eyed.
Like Del? Aiden hadn't expected her to put it that way. Then she remembered the warmth with which Margot had embraced Del, and hope began to burgeon. Margot Kinsley obviously knew about Del's sexual orientation but accepted her as a member of the family anyway.
Del wandered over. She casually wrapped one arm around Margot and the other around Dawn. "No, Mama Kinsley, she's not like me. She's much prettier, wouldn't you say? It runs in the family."
Aiden relaxed a little when Margot smiled and slapped Del's arm. "Flatterer. You know exactly what I mean. Is she...?"
Del said nothing. She knew it was Dawn's answer to give.
Dawn's fingers closed around the pendant as if for good luck. "Yes, Grandma. I'm gay."
"And you are...?" A gnarled finger pointed between Aiden and Dawn.
"We're a couple," Dawn confirmed, waiting nervously for her grandmother's reaction.
"Oh," Margot said again. She took a firmer hold on Del's arm. "I think I need to sit down."
Kade quickly dragged a chair over, and Del and Dawn helped the elderly woman into it.
Aiden watched helplessly. Her stomach felt queasy. She wasn't used to all this family drama.
Dawn crouched down next to the chair and gently reached for her grandmother's hand. "I didn't want to upset you, Grandma, but I also don't want to lie and hide who I am. I love Aiden, and I want to share my life with her."
Wow. Aiden had known that was what Dawn wanted, of course, but she had never heard her put it into one simple, yet overwhelming sentence.
Margot looked down at her granddaughter's slender hand she held in her lap. "I'm not upset. I just need a little time to... I need a little fresh air." She looked up, right into Aiden's startled eyes. "Would you be a dear and accompany me on a little walk around the neighborhood?"
Me? Aiden's mouth was too dry to answer.
"Grandma," Dawn protested.
"Oh, don't worry, child. I'm not gonna take her out behind the house and shoot her." Margot said resolutely. She stood and directed a questioning gaze at Aiden.
Someone, probably Kade, softly nudged her, and Aiden finally stepped forward. "Um... yes, of course." She offered the older woman her arm to hold on to and slowed her steps as they walked across the room. Her heart beat faster with every step as Aiden anticipated what Margot would say to her once they were alone. She hoped for her own sake – and for Dawn's – she would be able to make a good impression.
Jamie ran toward them as they left the house. Aiden suddenly remembered that the girl was waiting for her to fetch her Frisbee down from the tree. Maybe it was a way to avoid the awkward conversation with Margot for a while. I'd rather climb a giant redwood than walk around the neighborhood with Dawn's grandmother.
But Margot Kinsley had other plans for her. "I'm sorry, Jamie, but your old great-grandmother needs Aiden's help more than you do. Why don't you wait for us to come back or get one of the other young folk to help you?"
Jamie pouted but ran off, leaving Aiden alone with the Kinsley matriarch.
Aiden swallowed nervously.
Margot waited until they reached the sidewalk before she asked the first question. "When did you first meet Dawn?"
"Last September," Aiden answered. It had only been eight months, but Aiden couldn't even imagine going back to the life she had once led.
Margot had counted in her head too. "You were the detective working Dawn's case."
It was a statement, not a question, so Aiden had no choice but to nod. "One of th
em, yes." She could only hope that Margot wouldn't think her unprofessional.
But Margot's next question went in a completely different direction. "Do you think...?" She bit her lip and interrupted herself. "You're a lovely woman, and I don't want to insult you, but... do you think Dawn would have been attracted to you if she hadn't been raped?"
Oh, God! She told herself that Margot Kinsley's generation just hadn't heard a lot about homosexuality when she was growing up. But why do I have to be the one to educate Dawn's grandmother about lesbianism? "It doesn't work that way, Mrs. Kinsley," she said as patiently as possible. "You don't just become gay because you had a bad experience with a person of the opposite sex."